HOW DUA SOLVED ALL MY PROBLEMS AND CHANGED MY LIFE

laurel phillips 2 years ago

Hi,

I could feel your pain as I read your hub. I know this pain also. I also know the joy of provision from God (Allah). His love overcomes so many heartaches. He will give us the desires of our hearts as he has given you your's. Congradulations on a happy marrriage. I believe that this happiness is the reward for our faith. You must have very strong faith.

May Allah bless you always and my your faith and happiness spread to your family and friends. Keep sending out his message of love. I shall do the same. One day, we will see peace across this land as we experience it in our hearts.

Peace be with you sister

sophia 2 years ago

MASHALLAH!

I just want to say i am soooooooooooo happy for you! as i also could feel your pain, agonising, torment but eventualy reliefed feelings!

I feel like ive had a emotional boost. i am currently going through hard times.

I had been engaged and because of my stupid thoughts and me not being clost to ALLAH SWT. i left the house. i couldnt belive i actualy did it myself. i always thought that my family were forcing me to get married how ever it was the most perfect rishta for me. but i did not see this at the time!

i disgraced my family and myself.

i was stil not happy when i left the house. but made me realise alot of things.

the person who i was engaged loved me so much! literaly loads! i had feelings for them to. i lved them but not as much as i should of done.

i hurt him lots and i feel ashamed of myself.

my family stil accepted me after everything. but the person i was engaged is married. however he is not happy and wishes things could change. its bein about 9 months and now she has found out that theres smthing going on. but asghar dosnt know how to tel anyone? he loves me even today and so do i. i being praying to ALLAH SWT soooooooo much that my qismat, changes. I have faith in ALLAH SWT. i just wish that Allah Tala gives Asghar the strength to the truth. PLease pray for me.

Allah has put something in between us. we have to fight for each other... its realy hard and especialy painful.

InsHALLAH WIL LISTEN TO MU DUA! AMEENX

i wil cary on parying by reading what you have bein through its uplifted me alot!

all the best! i wish you hav no difficulties to over come!

ameen x

shadaan 2 years ago

u know after listeing to ur story i have literally cried, it appears as if evryhting is happening in front of my eyes, mashallah its gud that ur happy now and may always live so, Ameen, i am jsut ur fellow sisters really in great problem these days so just pray,

by take care

Allah hafiz

saiqa 2 years ago

Dear Ifirdous,

aslaamulikum, ur story is incredable. i'm having problems with my husband. he is from pakistan and im from the uk... we have been married for 5 years and ave 2 lovley boys, we ave no understanding and we constanly argue. i'm also sooo scared of divorce. i just don't know what to do, i want happiness in my marriage.

i can't live with him and i can't live without him.

i'm going to start reading what u did, or could u recommend something for me to read to make things better. jazakallh

iqbal88 2 years ago

Alhamdulillah

nazia 2 years ago

thanks for your story

Now i feel i am not alone suffering with lots of personal problems...

imran baig 2 years ago

Ismail Morrison AbdullahYou will be tested in your wealth and in yourselves and you will hear many abusive words from those given the Book before you and from those who are idolaters. But if you are steadfast and guard against evil, that is the most resolute course to take. (Qur'an, 3:186)

..Do people imagine that they will be left to say, 'We believe,' and will not be tested? We tested those before them so that Allah would know the truthful and would know the liars. (Qur'an, 29:2-3)

no one 2 years ago

im crying at the moment was searching google to come across something i could relate to ur story makes me feel hopeless about myself like people just cant be happy! and parents just cant be wrong! , i started praying alot discovered a spirtual side in me over the summers and the person i wanted to come back, he did , his mother wanted to meet me she was asking about me when he broke up wid me and now shes having doubts again and she wants him to let me go! its like im not a human like im some trash like its a joke that we'v been together for over 3 years now and she hasnt even met me but she just doesnt like me! my mother likes the guy im with shes met him theres just too much going on i can barely type its like over the summers wen i started praying everything that i wanted happened was like a miracle. but i got distracted as my uni opened and midterms and exams happened and i couldnt pray regularly and i dont know i think God is punishing me things were perfect and nw there on the verge of going to back to the way it was i feel so hopeless and im too guilty to pray even , i feel like curling up in a corner and slicing my wrist i feel mentally sick of crying i dont know if God will forgive me again i broke a promise i made in my heart there so many feelings of guilt anger depression low self esteem mixed up right now i cant even get myself to pray to him i dont know how to feel better

a friend.. 2 years ago

no one:

i just came across what you wrote, and believe me a lot of people are going through what you're going through. i don't know if you'll read this or not since you wrote 2 weeks ago, but i just wanted to tell you to hang on. God is so Merciful and we often think and act is if our deeds are what grant us His Mercy, when that's not the case. we all fall down sometimes and make mistakes, and He is more Merciful than we can ever imagine. and a lot of times things seem like they're slipping out of our hands, but we have to realize they're not in our hands. Only God can do anything for us, and He the Patient, the Loving, the Forgiving, the Merciful, the Owner of everything. Insha-Allah keep making dua and start praying again. Don't let the shaytan bring you down because that's happened to me too.. whether we face God or not, the truth is the truth and always will be. He will always be our Lord, we will always be His servant, we will always need His Mercy and forgiveness, so turn to him and cry and repent, and insha-Allah no matter what happens, whether he comes back or not, know that God is Merciful and Loving. Just like the beautiful story that was posted by the sister, you just never know. God is much much more Merciful than we know and He says Himself that His Mercy is greater than His wrath. Don't ever lose hope in Him. pray to Him and turn to Him, because other than that, there's no way out. He will come to You out of love and Mercy. i hope you get this insha-Allah..

Lahorian 2 years ago

omgggg....i am going through the same thing but im pregnant soon baby is due....my husband is doing the same thing except not with girls not that i know the rest allah knows...my family r saying the same to get rid of him but im in two minds n really worried coz of baby....im only 25 and my parents r saying dont worry we are with you allah is with you if he wants he will get you married again...by reading your story i am feeling so much better....jazakallah for sharing ur experience....may allah grant u more happiness in this world and hereafter ameen...

maryam 2 years ago

My cousin emailed this link to me, and I am so gad that she did.

My husband divorced me after 10 months of being married to him. He was aggressive and abusive towards me. He had a very bad temper. Still I wanted our marriage to work. He would tell me in my 10 months of marriage, I feed you, I put a roof over your head, food on the table, and this guy is a dentist, and earns a very high salary, but he had a very small heart. he would make me feel like a burden. He had some good points too.

Then after 10 months, he told me to go home, after hitting me the night before. Then he gave me my first divorce on the phone, he told me, I should go sleep with another man, and I will forget about him. He told me I was an outsider, because I had told my mother and sister about the abuse, who then told him to stop. He said no one had the right to say that to him. He told me he was leaving me because his sisters did not want to see or speak to me anymore. I begged him, his parents, his sisters and said please do not let my house break, just like you would not let yours. But they continued to support him and set it is up to our son and brother.

He rang him, he divorced me again. It had now been a month and I had now got an imaam from the local mosque involved. My family had rung him, to try and reconciliate, he told them not to come. Then he divorced me again on the phone again, my first final divorce.

I had to collect my belongings from the house, i noticed my gold jewellery had gone. My husband said he had given it to me. A month later he has admitted to having stolen it.

I am 26. My husband had no reason to divorce, if anyone was wrong, it was him, yet he had the power. He issued me 3 divorces in 1 month. It has been 2 months since my divorce, I have had to leave my job, move back home and have no idea how to start my life again. I lie in bed, sleep all day, am completely numb.

We went to do umrah together. I held his ihraam as we did marwah safa walk, the first sight of the kaaba I made dua for us.

I want someone to tell me where did my duas go?

Inshallah I will pray, my cousin supports me, she helps me through it. And now inshallah I will try to pray. But I am unsure who hears me, anymore.

I think women around the world face alot of pain suffering and difficulties at the hands of their husbands? I wonder what is the punishment for such a man? I am absolutely devestated because of what happened tome. My pain is raw. I hurt ever minute of every day. I keep thinking why did I marry him? Was this written in my kismet, if so, why? If not, then was it my decision to marry him? I can't decide which it is? Where has Allah been all this time, why did he let me marry this evil person, why was my istikhara positive, but then why has this happened to me? I want answers? I want to know where is Allah, and where did my duas go?

A muslim sister 2 years ago

Salaam maryam,

ur story really touched my heart. i just wanted to tell u that inshallah dont worry about anything at all. for many years i was abused, humuliated over the net by a psycho who used to post nude pics of me and spread lies to all my friends and family. this psycho also used to try to do everything to break any marriage proposal that would come my way. the whole while i was with this wonderful man who supported me throughout these difficult times. i was really happy and respected him alot and he asked to marry me. recently these abuses and attacks surfaced again and i decided to do sum investigations on it. i had to hack into the persons account and what i saw shattered my whole world. the very man who had been with me all these years was the man who was actually humiliating me publicly. our wedding cards, invitation, preps and everything is done and i just found out 1 day ago. i know i broke the law in hacking but inshallah allah will be with me becoz it was for my own self defence.

i just want u to know that when i was sad and down over this i opened the quran and came across the translation of surah sharh where they say " inna maa al usri yusra" which is repeated 2 times. it means verily after every hardship there is relief. this is mentioned twice in a row.

Do u know wat this means sister? the quran is the word of Allah subhana wataalah. He has promised you a relief after your hardship.

There is Allah everywhere. He is the only one who can fix anything.

Your prayers are not wasted. no dua is ever wasted. you will see the reward of your dua soon inshallah. just be patient.

engage in zikr and quran.

specially la hawla wala quwata illa billah.

inshallah u will see the results soon. be patient

Shah 2 years ago

Dear All,

Salaam

i am really depressed as i am not getting job and even my brother is not getting the job and whole responsility is on him, just becoz of one person as he gave as false hopes and destroyed everything... my family was sooo happy but now everythg is gone... But i truly believe in one thg tht whtever happens there is always a best thg behind it from Allah (swt) so v all are praying and asking help From Allah (swt) tht everything becomes good and tht i and my brother gets good job in this recession time..

please do pray for us as i pray for all.. May Allah (swt) solves everyonce problems Ameen

asma 2 years ago

i am very happy for yuo i hope ALLAH SOLVES MY PROBLEM ALSO TKC ALLAHAFIZ

furqan wasiq 2 years ago

Im Shocked Now to read All of Your stories because its same

happens to me before 14 months and still going im shocked yar.Ri8 now im in my Office and i was feeling Really sad that im praying for 14 months ago and asking some thing to ALLLah and i beliveing that i will be happy in future but i cant see any Picture of success in my life but i dont why i still praying alot alot but i was sad and i just type on google to find out thats is any one like me who iz only praying for long time i just wrote dua change life and then im shocked to see all of your stories

Dr.Sajid 2 years ago

dear brothers and sisters ,

PAIN IS A GIFT ACTUALLY

iam also a hurted heart like u all.so plzzz pray 4 me and 4 my success.

plz visit my site.(WWW.SAJIDS.CO.NR)i keep adding som duas when pain ruins me.when im in stress and when i loose my heart in sorrows

insha allah everythink will be alright.it has to be.because everyones life is already planned by allah.we only play his script which he wrote before even creating us.

he knows what is best for us.he is closer to us more than our spinal cord.

He is more than 1000 mothers.

he is the lord.he is the ruler.

he can do justice or injustice .no one can ask him.but all he does to us is only justice.

if not in this world he will surely give us the best in the hereafter

trust in allah.he is allknowing, most powerful,most merciful.

THIS IS THE TIME SATAN WILL PLAY HIS GAME TO ENTER OUR MIND

in case ,if a human lets satan to enter in this situation,he will ruin our iman and lead us to hell fire..so be strong brothers and sisters.

ask for forgiveness when u r in greef,pain and strees.thats the time he forgives ous small small sins.

insha allah let allah guide us all in the right path and lead us to the al-jannah

PLZZZZZZ ADD ME IN UR DUAS DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS

Dr.Sajid

Safa  2 years ago

As Salaam walaikum....

While I was readying all these stories I was crying.. and feeling the pain that you guys are going through. I am in U.S and I have my younger sister she is only 26 and having 5 kids she was married to a Pakistani. Her husband is taking drugs and After 8 years of marrige he is abuseing, beatting her when i saw her I was so shocked he beat her so much she cannot even open her mouth for some days.... she do eveything for him but still he is not happy and wants to Divorce her she is so scared of leaivng him so she is tolerating every thing.

I dont know what to do my family went to India and I am alone here and his husband doesnt like if I go and meet her and with kids and even he didnt allow her to come to my house.... my ealder brothers are in india and they are waiting for visa interview please pray for them to get visa so they will come here and handle the suation.

I am pragnant now and I sould nt be taking any stree but whenever I received a call from her my heart starting to beat fast and I become so nervous. Whenever I think of her my heart goes out for her I cant see her in this pain I felt like crying and asking Allah when she will be fine.

so Please Pray for my sister and for her kids she is realy in pain and leaving a very hard life.

Thank

mdsiraj 2 years ago

asak sister , i feel very sad about this abt and u pray salah 5 five and after pray read allahwumma ya halalmuskilat as much as possible insha allah every thing will be fine

Ehtesham.Emraan 2 years ago

Assalaamalikum wa rahmat ullah hi barkatahu....!

Mashallah, ALLAH showers blessings on you,

Even i am going through with biggest problem of my life,

Related to my marraige, The worst part is that I am facing problems in terms of getting back my wife, As she has seen a dream, after performing the ITEQARA namaz, And she wanna breakup with me, As after the marriage we are not living together, because this is our love marraige, We tried convincing our parents however nobody is ready to accept us, By the grace of ALLAH, We happily married eachother. But now after that dream my wife she wanna breakup everything, ALLAH show me the right path and right things to follow, As anybody having the knowledge or suggestions on this so can help me on this particular matter??

If yes my You can Email me on Ehtesham.imran4u@gmail.com,

Honestly speaking I can't live without her, I hurted myself physically.But as far as i know there is no way to ridoff from my pain, Please suggest me something..ALLAH will bless you and shower blessings on you...! Ameennnnnnn!

Safiya 2 years ago

Its wonderful knowing dear sister your life moved on smoothly as per Allah's will.

I too am facing similar problems in my life where I have come to a point that I want to pray for a divorce.

I married a twice married man out of sheer love. Despite warnings from my family and friends I went ahead. After my marriage I learnt that he has 2 children from both wives and he believes they are not his...This fact was hidden from me before my marriage because he swore on the Quran.

In the 9months that I am married 2 him, he has almost strangled me to death once, he verbally abuses me and my family and he has a temper that can kill anyone. I have also made mistakes by constantly reminding him I was cheated into a marriage… but that is the truth. He has lied to me about a lot of things in life and has also squandered me of all my savings just fight court cases to seek divorce form his 2nd wife.

He says I come from a cheap and low-grade family and he has no respect for them- though we are respectable people in Bahrain. he compares me to other girls saying there were better girls to marry but he chose me because of the love and care I showed him b4 our marriage. Yes I loved a man who is a Haji I loved him becoz I felt that he was the most innocent and simplest person I could spend by life with. But in my heart he died the day his truth came out. There are a lot more lies he has told that keeps coming out unexpectedly, which shocks me. And there are still more lies to unfold.

2 days back he came to me and apologized for all his lies and he wants 2 start life all-over..he said that even though he hates my parents he was willing 2 greet them just because he wants me to be happy. But in my heart the trust has died, the love is fading and the future is only darkness...

I pray for Allah to give me strength to break this marriage as I can’t see my family, relatives and friends suffer becoz of my wrong decision of marrying him.

I am going for Umrah with him next week to repent for my sins and seek guidance from Allah. I know it is very wrong for a woman to pray fro divorce, yet in my heart is strongly desire that this marriage breaks because I don’t see a future of happiness or love or togetherness. I would also like to perform istikhara for the days i am there so Allah shows me the right way.

Can someone please tell me if this feeling is right or wrong while going for Umrah and also how do I perform Istikhara the right way. What other duaas should I pray for my decision can be reached on safiya.khan@gmail.com.

May Allah bless us and guide is always.. Ameen

Haidari 2 years ago

Hello.. your story was very sad, but i m glad that everything has changed for you.. I m going through alot as wel, i was supposed to get engaged with my cousin, but some family issue arised and now they are like enemies. If any of you guys can share some tips with me, please do so because at some times i feel so depressed and suffocated that i want to forget everything and die.. Please help me..

sheema 2 years ago

hellow dear so sad to hear your story .may allah bless u

SN 2 years ago

Assalamualaikum everyone!

Some of ur situations r worst than mine. May Allah Help everyone to overcome it..Aameen. I only and only need your duas as my situation is I want to be married to this man. And of all the proposals i find this man da best for me but my family think i can do better. This man is a true muslim but my family seems to be diappointed with his appearances which i think should not matter to them but to me. So all i need r duas from all of u dat my family should favour us. We both r praying to Allah SWT too. But who knows Allah would accept an extra word coming from u for us. Please Please Please remember us in ur duas. We really want dis to happen. We want a marriage. :)

confuses 2 years ago

I am very happy for you...i am going through a horrible divorce,...he took all of my jewelry and money and clothes...the divorce keeps getting stalled for one reason or another...I still love him after everything that he has done and put me through...I don't know, even after everyone tells me he is bad for me, if i want to get a divorce. I love him. I want my things back and want my husband back without his mom's interference and his sisters. can you recommend a dua?

Nishat 2 years ago

Dear sister, i read ur whole story it is similar to mine the only difference is u r residing in uk n am in india. I use to love my husband a lot in return he alos loved me but becoz of his mother words he left me, 4 months b4 i was divorced, now my situation is same like u, what to do, y it happened? these questions r in my mind. but by reading ur passage i got one hope that my life will become colourful one thanx to u, plz pray for me iam so alone

ash 2 years ago

i didnt read your story but i m in a problem my bro is taking drugs when he was in pak but yesterday when he came he cant live without drugs and want to go back if he ll go there he would die overthere and i dont want to loose him plz help plz he went to bye ticket and want to stop him now itself plz help me are u a girl

banu 24 months ago

assalamu alaikum

am really very happy to see my dear sister's comments...ur right ALLAH only has the power..now i believe more and more...let ALLAH bless all of us....don worry sister's ALLAH is with us....am happy tat ur dreams came true....thank ALLAH......

guidanceseeker 24 months ago

I know someone who is going through a very tough time in his marriage but his wife threatens to commit suicide if he even mentions divorce. This has gone on for so long that he has become emotionally week and his faith has weakened. He has stopped praying and doesn't listen. Can i pray for him? for his strength? Plz tell me some dua. Plz

Nayimah 24 months ago

Salam alaikum. Your first half of your story is similar to my own and now I am going through a tough transition after my husband has left me to work elsewhere and now he speaks of divorce. Please pray that I canget through this and that Allah will bless me with a man that truly loves me in the future. I felt so emotional and teared up after reading your story. Thank you for sharing! Allah is the greatest!

samreen 24 months ago

salaam sister

i read ur story.i really appriciate ur faith on allah (swt).sister i loss my mother when i was just 10 yrs old .my father done his second merrige after 2 months of my mother's death after his merriage my step mom creat missunderstanding between me and my father my father remove me from my house. i m staying with my aunty from last 14 yrs my aunty's childrens are not good in nature sometimes they beat me also .my father is a drunker he never call me since last 14 yrs he is totaly iresponsible .right now i m 25 yrs old.i m fed up of my life i dont know why this happening with me.i try to get marry but my weigh is 95kg so i cant get the rishta .i cant share my problems i m totaly alone pls sister pray for me and guide me.ALLAH MAY ALLWAYS BLESS US.....AAMEEN.

samreen 24 months ago

salaam sister,

is their any dua to reduce my weight?if it is their pls tell me.

wassalam

sim  23 months ago

salaam sister,

i want to know hat its ok if ladies can go to dargah or not because i m confused to take a right decission pls sister help me. thanks....

wassalam

samreen  23 months ago

salaam sister,

sister my dream is to go abroad for job purpose and i got a chance for muscat in back office i want to know sister khair is in it or not departure in hardly fifteen days previously i apply now i got reply kindly guide to take a decision for this matter.

thanku siter,

salaams

neha 23 months ago

Ya ALLAH please help me , im facing deep sorrows since past few weeks, someone promised me marriage n after one year of relationship he is refusing me now and using all sorts of stupid excuses.. he even told me a few days before he is getting engaged with another girl.. im totally shattered , he said theres nothing between us now. i have undrstn tht all this time he was playing with my feelings. im so lost.. I want peace of mind n my pain to ease, my heart is broken.. i pray to ALLAH to set things right for me n give me strengh.. Dear brothers & sisters pray for my peace of mind.. Jazak ALLAH.

neha 23 months ago

salam sister ur life story is really touching, i previously post a bit of the actual difficulty i am facing.. i will post the whole story some other time because actually i am in office and its not easy for me, i want to share my life story with you & thoses who will read, i will INSHAH ALLAH very soon,,

May ALLAH accepts all our duas n Bless us all, AMEEN. SUMA AMEEN.

neha 23 months ago

salam sister mariam, i wanted to ask you something,, you wrote:

Surah yasin : 40 times at any one day in a week

does this mean you read SURAH YASIN 40 times IN ONE DAY.?

i will wait for your answer, JAZAK ALLAH.

saira 23 months ago

i had a love marriage and i live with my in laws my husband is wonderful, but his mum turns him against me when i am not home. He has started tellin me not go to my mums house. i have also heard his sister talk about me too i have started t cry every night does anyone no any short duas i can read. thanks

Sameen arshad 22 months ago

Hello sister ,

My own cousin is going through the stage of divorce and she is very upset ... whereas my own borther in law was my first cousin but after 8 years of marriadge he divorced her. The family is now scattered. I wanted to ask that what you have told above is it for second marriadge or a girl who is single can also recite it for her marriadge. Reply me soon thanks

a sister 22 months ago

Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer

136x's everyday

[My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me]

please also give sadaq every day, with the intention that Allah KEEP US AWAY FROM TRIALS

Lamisa 21 months ago

I am happy that u r happy... Mashallah...but i want my ex back...can u suggest me what can i do to gey him back??!

Nafisa 21 months ago

I have suffered so much hardship, i wa a successful career person i have lost my job and my home. I have 5 children and now living in a rented house and i am having so many probs trying to get my career back. It is complicated. I pray to Allah all of the time to give me relief from my problems and to sho mercy. Allah tallah does things and they are for a reason there is always a reason as to why certain things happen in your life and it is always for the best. U dont it is for the best at the time because you and your children are suffering and your whole world becomes upside down. I pray namaz regularly and read surah tabagun 3 times a day aswell as surah yasin 1x a day. Inshallah you have to have faith in allah everything that happens to us is for the best and a blessing. Allah knows best. Ameen

yraiys 21 months ago

Sal lam firdous, u are a very brave lady and ALLAH always blessed upon u and your beautiful family.

Best Regards

Yasir Kidwai

masroor 21 months ago

isteqara has nothing to do with dreams, the right isteqara is that , your hearts tilts towards a decision and gradually things move smoothly towards it and if the matter is not in your favours , it gradually slips from you. wallahualam

Waiz Wasey 21 months ago

Mashallah, May Allah keep you happy always :) Ameen

m.i.mohamed RIZWAN 21 months ago

salamualikum

i loved a girl soo deeply when i was 19 years at 20th year i had to vacate the house for higher studies my girly is 3 years elder to me she was forced by her parents to marry cousin she denied but since we are a joint family she was forced to accept and they got married later after a year she called me and we spoke to each other and relaized the mistakes she has a 2 year old baby now i begged her to leave him and come but she worries soo much for the family i am dieing day by day to get her back in my life i am a graduate n medicne but cant find a solution for this pls VIEWERS INCLUDE ME IN UR DUA AND I AM WAITING TO GET BACK TO HER SOON I FEEL LIKE I AM DEAD PLS HELP ME YA ALLAH

kushi 21 months ago

Dear,

i read mostly all the above stories and fell very bad for all.the same is happened with me, due to my ex husband i lost my good job. i had a baby boy he lives with my ex husband. he never sen my baby to me. from last one year i m not able to see my baby.my baby is of just 2& half years old. i dont like any thing i always miss my baby, but i cant show it to any body.pls pray for me .

i also did not got good response from relatives too.they all just want for my marriage.i dont know what i have to do.

XXXFY 21 months ago

I JZ COME TO KNOW ABOUT THIS PAGE WHN I SEARCHED ON GOOGLE THAT"HOW DUA CAN CHANGE"I COME ACROSS AN ARTICLE ....... I FEEL LIKE aLLAH WILL BLESS ME SAME LIKE U....I HERE WANA SHARE MY MISTAKE SO NO OTHER GIRL MAY DO THE SAME....

3YEARS AGO WHN I WAS JUST OF 15..N I WAS NOT MATURED SOME1 CALLED ME ON MY CELL PHONE,N STARTED TEASING ME.....IT CNTINUED FOR A MONTH .HE WAS A STRANGER.AN UNKNOWN PERSON FOR ME....AFTR A MONTH I STARTED CHATNG WITH HIM,,N IT CNTINUED FOR 4 MONTHS.......DURING THIS TIME MANY TIMES I WANTED TO STOP CHAT BUT HE REQUSTED,WEEP HENCE EMOTINOLLY BLACKMAIL ME MANY TIMS SO I CONTINUED........LETR ON HE WENT TO DUBAI N I CHANGED MY NUMBER..BUT DO NOT KNOW WAT IS IN MY KISMAT.....HE GOT MY NUMBER AND AFTER THAT HE TALKED TO MY MOTHER AND SEND PURPOSAL ...... B4 THIS I STOPED HIM FOR DOING THIS BUT HE DID......NOW ITS GOING TO BE 1 YEAR OF OUR RELATION BUT DURING THIS 1 YEAR HE JUST MADE ME MAD.HE ALL THE TIME FIGTHS....NO EVEN A SINGLE DAY DURING THIS YEAR I REMEMBER THAT I NOT CRY.....MY MOTHER,FATHER,ALL WERE VERY UPSET AS I WAS LOSING MY HEALTH DAY BY DAY.......MY MOTHER USUALLY SAYS"U LOOK LIKE A T.B PATIENT....NOW M OF 18 AND I AM WELL MATURED.I LOVE SOME ELSE .BUT NOW I AM BOUND TO MEERY HIM.I TOLD MY MOTHER,BUT SHE BEHAVE SO STRICTLY...MY FAMILY STOP MY STUDIES,,,EVRY ONE BEHAVE SO HARSHLY N RUDLY...I DO NOT WANT TO MERRY HIM..I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SO BIG MISTAKE I DID???FOR WHICH I AM PAYING ALL THIS?I HATE HIM NOW AS HE ONLY KNOW HOW TO FORCE OTHERS,HOW TO BLACKMAIL..LAST DAYS WHEN I SAID THAT I DO NOT WANT TO MERRY U HE CUT HIS VEIN..MANY TIMES B4 HE DID SAME LIKE TAKE PILLS ETC....MY PARENTS SAID THEY WILL SHOT ME IF I NOT MERRY HIM..THEY TAKE MY MOBILE PHONE N BEATS ME ALSO....ANY ONE OF YOU WHO KNOWS ANY SPECIAL DUA FOR ME..BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO MERRY HIM ON ANY COST ...

XXXFY 21 months ago

THE PERSON I LOVE ALSO LOVES ME SO MUCH

HE IS SO NICE.N SAID ME FOR CORT MERRIGE.BUT I REFUSED.NOW MY PARENTS WANT MY NIKAH AFTER THIS EID..WE BOTH ARE VERY DIPRESD .... I REFUSED THEIR DESCISION BUT NOW MY FAMILY BECOME SOOOOO RUDE WITH ME.AND THEY GIVE ME THREE OPTIONS

1ST TO CNTINUE MY STUDIES BUT AFTER NIKAH

2ND TO TELL WHOM U WANA MERRY N GET LOST WITH HIM FOR EVER N BREAK UR RELATION WITH US FOR EVER

3RD TO MERRY MY FINCE AFTER FEW YEARS

I YET NOT ANSWERD MY FAMILY BECOZ I DO NOT KNOW WAT TO DO?ON ONE SIDE IS MY FALMIY AND ON OTHER HAND IS MY LOVE .... I WANT TO FINISH THS RELATION BUT NO ONE IS WILLING FOR THIS.AND TO WHOM I LOVE IS READY TO WAIT FOR ME AS LONG AS I SAY TO HIM...BUT HIS WAIT IS OF NO USE....BUT I CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT HIM..HE IS EVERYTHNG EVRY HAPPINS FOR ME..I CN'T LEAV HIM..I NEVR FORGET HIM... ALLAH PLEAS HELP US...ALL OV U PLZ REMEMBER ME IN UR PRAYERS...ANY ADIVE ANY DUA FOR ME?

maryam 20 months ago

Asalam o lakum

plz plz all plz pray for me..im really very much worried...

ya Allah...plz help me..im iin very much sorrows..

Allah plz ansr to my duas ameeennnn sum ameennn

AE ALLAH MERE TAMAM MUSHKILE DOOR FARMA...AMEEENNN SUM AMEEENNN

saniya 20 months ago

plz pray 4 my family happiness my father want's to divorce with my mother and he is asking me that after divorce with whom u want's to live we r 4 sisters and no brothers and i have a small sister of 2 yrs ya allah plz show me the right way plz remember me in you duas every day he is beating to my mother and all even to my small sister that is better i die i didn't want's to see my mother in white saree without bangles plz pray for meplz......

rizvi sathar 20 months ago

need to learn more

Priyata 20 months ago

Eid mubarakh to everyone! I am not sure if you are following my story, my husband has called me, he is talking to me from last few days. He is not saying if he will take me back or not but told me he is planning to clear the mess between the family. I am happy atleast he said that. I have been praying tawjud at 3:00am at night and recited many duas and always recited dua yunus. It took him 15 month to talk to me. I hope he slowly realizes his mistake and take me back with respect in his life. Please pray for me and may allah show all of us the right path and save us all from hell fire.

SHAMIELA 20 months ago

Asalamu-alaikum.

Shukran for your story it helped me alot, I went threw the same thing.I just needed this story to make me feel so much better algamdulilah, and ALLAH knows best for each and every person on this earh inshallah. wish i can come in contact with you.

sharmeen 20 months ago

ASSALAMU ALAIKUM, as we all know no one's life is smooth, everyone has problems in life, one must learn to face it & trust ALLAHTALA that everything will be fine.I m praying to ALLAHTALA he has the power to control everthing, He turns day to night..we cannot,He can covert a male to female..we cannot ,He knows each person with problems.. we dont.Obviously,HE has the power.HE is the KING..& UR help from THE KING,how can HE refuse..belive in first KALIMA.LA ILAHA ILLALLAH MUHAMMADUR RUSULULLAH..THERE IS NO GOD BUT ALLAH,MUHAMMAD RASULULLAH IS HIS MESSENGER.

ALLAH CAN DO EVERYTHING HE CAN TAKE UR WORRIES AWAY & GIVES U HAPPINESS.dont search people to help u just take advice from them & search ALLAHTALA to help u.

READ NAMAAZ DAILY,RECITE QURAN DAILY,READ AL WAHHABO TASBEEH,YA ALLAHU TASBEEH DAILY & MOST IMPORTANTLY TRUST HIM IN WHATEVER SITUATION ARE U BAD OR GOOD JUST REMEMBER...

HAPPY MOMENTS,PRAISE ALLAH..

DIFFICULT MOMENTS,SEEK ALLAH..

PAINFUL MOMENTS,TRUST ALLAH..

QUIET MOMENTS,WORSHIP ALLAH..

EVERY MOMENT,THANK ALLAH..

INSHA ALLAH U WILL BE HAPPY & SUCESSFUL..AMEEN

sameen 20 months ago

My salaams to you all.

I was goggling the web in seek some solace from my trouble that are weighing me down. And reading this article has really helped my moral and my faith.

You see, last month was supposed to be my wedding – for the past 4 years I have been in love with a boy who I loved and trusted with all my heart & soul. Initially, on surface all seemed fine – he was well educated, was smart, had a nice family and it looked like he loved me too.

My dad passed away when I was 11 and mom was a housewife. My family wasn’t very supportive of us and we weren’t rich. We worked really hard to work our way up in life thro’ only Allah’s support. I was scared n terrified of letting these relatives find a match for me since they had only viewed me as a burden. Which is why I was very happy that Allah had sent this boy my way.

But then he got a job in the US and slowly he started to change or maybe just show his true colors – he started loving the lifestyle and life that the place had to offer and aid he didn’t want to marry me till he was 28-29. He finally told his parents’ abt me and plans to marry by this year. She started verbally abusing me and created a lot of problem for me. She kept telling that they were doing me a favor by marrying a poor person like me and talked to my mom like dogs on the street.

SO when problems started cropping up, the boy started distancing himself from them. I begged him to intervene and mediate and be there for me – but he always kept telling me that he was busy and stayed away from it all. And then he started telling that I didn’t have a H1B visa to work there in the USA and that he would be willing to compromise on his lifestyle n take care of me for a year, within which I would have to find a job and start pulling my weight around. He said he didn’t want to give up on his comfort there by marrying me and supporting me on his salary alone. He started siding with his parents and one day after a particularly bad tantrum that his mother pulled with us, I told him to come down n have a quite register marriage and take me away from this.

But he started siding with his parents n told me that he can’t do it and I am not bringing much into the table (financially, no work permit in hand) and broke off the marriage.

I know and thank Allah every day from having saved me from a hellish marriage. But I still am devastated by his betrayal – I had sacrificed so much for him but I did not mean anything to him. I am a mess now – I had given up a job I had for marriage since I was to join him d\there. Now I am so lethargic and hurt and scared of an uncertain future.

Please pray for me – to make this hurt go away and get back to being whole. I keep prayin to allah to ease my pain and give me strength to continue on.

Abdul Mateen  20 months ago

Asalamwlakum - i have been looking for a job since very long time,I have not find the right one.However today i read this duwaaYa musabab ul asbab - inshllalh i will read this duwaa daily so that allah will give me a job and Could you plz do one thing in my favour this send me this duwaa in arabic so what will prounce this duwaa clearlly

umar 20 months ago

Dear bro & sis- AOA! i am a guy who is married for last 3 years but we spent 4 months togther. my wife was 18 n i was 27 at the age of marriage.we had everything in our house except peace.she always blamed me of taking to guls(not more than this).i knwo i had two friends whom i talked but after so many fights n problems i left them. But still i couldnot get this doubt form her heart n she left 8 months back and asking for khullah .Her mother has brainwashed her fr last 3 months that she shd get divorce .After my regret fr divorce she applied for khullah and her mother doesnot allow me to takk to my wife.i know i can change her mind but only place i would be able to talk to her will be the court.i dot want a divorce cz we hve a son of 2 yrears.his life will be spoiled.she is very immature.i know she will regret afterwards but then it will be too late.i dont knwo how to contact her as i went my wife house n they didnot allow to meet me.

i prayed alot during Ramadan, diud dua ....Plz pray that my house is saved.I am ready to do any scarifice ......i canot talk ..what shd i do

plzzzzzzzzz give me some gud suggestion n do dua fr my family.i really wept acroos her parents .they say we r concerned abt our daughter.i told them if i am wrong plz hang me upside down :(.

May be she likes and talks to someone else.:(

i dont know how to purdsade my wife in court in short time for not dissolving this marriage.

plz pray frmy family:(

ayesha 20 months ago

assalaamvalaikum to all,im ayesha from bangalore.i and my friendm very much in need of a job plz pray for me and my friend i vil be very tahnkful to all.allah hafiz

Mariam Farhat 20 months ago

assalamwalaikum to all,im Mariam from Chennai.Pls for my family & i vil be very tahnkful to all.allah hafiz

sini 20 months ago

plz tell me a dua for getting a job.i am planning to go to dubai.i have to get a job.if i will not get a job my family will be in great distress.my father passsed away.so i have to help my family.so i have to get a job.plz tell a dua to get a job in dubai.

Anonymus 19 months ago

Darling Sisters Dua for job is as follows,

" YA HAYU YA QAYUMU BI REHMATIKA ASTAGHISU,"

read it as many times in a day at any time with your niyath for the job. InshaAllah kheir.

To Miss Sini n Ayesha n to whom ever it may concern.

sidrah 19 months ago

A.O.A im engaged but i like somone else my parents not ready.what can i do?

anu 19 months ago

assalamu alaiku..mai bhi bahuth pareshan hu shadi hoke 11 saal hogaye.mere miya saudi me rahte hai mai pahale indiya me thi. sasuraal me bahuth takleef tha 10 saal bahuth bahuth takleef hutaye roroke din guzare miya saal me ek baar 45 days ke liya athethe par kabhi meri problms me mera saath nahi diya but bahoth pyar karthe the .(sasuraal ka problm) 2 betiya hai bahuth chote ek 3 std me padthi hai aur 4 saalki hai,bahuth duwawose mai 3 saal pahale yaha miyake pass saodi ahyi but jabse mai yaha ayi hu mere miya kuch alag hi bartav ka=rthe hai aisa lagtha haiki wo pyar nahi karte.fir bhi 3 saal guzargaye ab yaha kharcha bahuth hai tum wapas javo bol rahe hai muje sasuraal ka sochthi hu tho bahuth darr lagtha hai mai wapas jana nahi chahthi plz mereliye koi duwa do ke mere miya ki kamai zyada ho aur wo muje apne pass rakhe. mereliye duwakaro.mai bahuth pareshan hu

anu  19 months ago

assalamu alaikum.......i need reply from u very soon as possible,so i can start reading duwas soon.plz plz waiting for ur reply .

beenish 19 months ago

your story has motivated me too...

Faith does it all

Allah bless us all.

anu 19 months ago

assalamu alaikum....

dear priyatha.......yes that duwa is very powerful.......when i was in indiya with my problms someone told me to recite it with darood sharief n i started it from ramzan n this duwa made my life better than before.but now i am so confused........i dont want to go back.plz pray for me.......... n i am too praying for all .may ALLAHTHALAH give happiness n loving n caring husband for all my freinds.ameen

ladymaryum 19 months ago

As Salaam Alaiklum, fellow believers, I'm praying for a much needed blessing. Allah has blessed with a talent, to write lyrics for songs.I did, NCA/music/Richard Woodsome,

of Nashville Tenn, has used my songs 2. He's refusing to pay me, what's due me. Unable to get a lawyer, Please, pray for Allah, to make him pay. My family, and I, my husband are praying, we feel more help, will help us to get faster results,,as we need to move,we need financial help..Please help us, with your prayers..Thank you..

Maryum Shabazz

Yonkers, NY.

Many, Many Thanks

Lina 19 months ago

Salam, your stories are very touching, i'm crying from all the suffering i have been experincing i have been through 2 divorce breakups and have 2 children from the first and 1 baby now from the second. I am well known and respected within my community helping many people alhumdullah. However, i never get the right person in a relationship. It all starts of very well and down the track they take advantage of me financially. I feel like in both relationships i am the breadwinner. I am a teacher, inspector, consultant and a mother of 3 children in which i feel are suffering with me. I felt nothing i did was ever respected and worked on the clock as a housewife and my ex sent me back to work while my daughter was 2months as he got use to me giving him. in saying this, both of my previous husbands were well off but i was not able to know anything about their money. I always supported the both, they barely spent a sent our children on top of all that worse thing i hated was the kufeer and lies on a daily basis in my secdond marriage. I use to play quran to my girls before bedtime than that had to stop as his brother would come over everyday to watch a movie and could not listen to both. (by the way no argument happened over that - i had put up wit h alot but to save my second marriage) He was not religious at all, i always prayed that he would change and pray as i wanted him to be a role model to the children. But that didnt happen, he asked me for $70,000 dollars to support his brother to study in australia inwhich i did. I came across him lieing to me about how much money he makes and never wanted his brother to work as there was always me to help. He use to chat to other girls on the net and look up pornography and when i approached him about how haram that is, he would laugh and say "everyone does that it's normal ive been doing that for many years". He would put me down about being married before, however always told my ex off and hated him tried to ruin my girls life with their father from his jelousy. yet the first wanted me back but i ended it as he did too much that i couldnt forget or trust him, he also remarried and divorced within a year - i didnt think anyone would put up with what i did for 7 yrs. My second mhusband was very rude in public, yelled at people, fights with people over parking spots, very agressive person who breaks things, hurst others on purpose, like hits a car and doesnt pay for the damage. I do believe he has a low self esteem and thats why i tried to help him and boost it due to his weight issues. He would continue asking for money and it came to a point where he wanted to buy diamond rings for his sister and mother on money i had to get from the bank on my house. He put me in a big debt and could no longer handle repayments but he didnt care becuase he knew my family were always there to support me. I have my 2 girls who are in shared custody which means they are with me 3 to 4 days a week and 3 to 4 days with their father who is my first ex, which really hurts me alot that they live this kind of life,having 2 homes and now my baby who is one, her father has been deported overseas as he has immigration issues in the country, which means she will not know her father or be around him till she is an adult. They break my heart, that how these men only think of money and not religion or their children. I have 3 girls and i which they have a better future than me. I am writing this with tears down my cheeks because just when i though my life has picked up in the second marriage it went down more than the first. I feel very depressed and both of my previous husbands dislike me attending islamic lectures. I always wished for a religious man who can teach me and motivate me and be a good role model thats why i married from overseas as they have the language. Now i'm back to going to my islamic lectures and now have time to read the quran, i feel comfort in reading it but at the same time i cry so much. i felt like i was fooled as my second acted his religious side in order for me to marry him, only allah knows if he married me for love or for a visa and money. In both marriages i asked the shiek whether i should continue in the marriage and at both times he told me not to. I did istikhara and the sheik said that they are evil and that you dont deserve how you have been treated. Many people when they see me and i tell them i'm divorced again say "why your such a good person, whats wrong with those people" and they also say "i envy you of the way you live, you are organised, well dressed, help them out, cook, clean educate your girls etc.." and its all good to hear this positive feedback but im still not happy and i feel there is alot of hasad and jelousy in my life and i have such a soft heart that i believe anyone easily can never lie or act. What more can i do to get out of this stress and grief? I knwo allah is testing my patience, but it hurts so much, i want it over. i dont want to feel pain anymore, i dont want to come home to my girls telling me that i wish we had a dad in the house, that it would feel like a family. I dont tell them what he my second did to me and they always tell me to let him come back it doesnt feel like a family. how can you hear this and not be hurt? ya rub!!

S* 19 months ago

Sister your story was very touching and at the same time very inspiring. Mashallah may you have many many more good days to come.

Please please please remember me your dua's and in the name of Alah s.w.a and with the waseela of Muhammed P.b.u.h please pray that my loved one comes back to me. Pray that he realises how much I mean to him and that he falls in love with me so badly that he never leaves me again!

Ameen, Sum Smeen

shukriya 19 months ago

Praise be to Allah for helping us all And May Allah ease the pain of all muslims.

brothers and sisters i am very religious sister, i am fearing for my religion and i want to get married,but seems that no one is coming for so please pray for me .

G Khan 19 months ago

Salaams

Having read some of the posts, I feel it is important for me to inform brothers and sisters that no dua is ever not heard by the Almighty. It is said that Allah protects us from things that are bad for us. As Allah knows what we know not. Also, it is said that those duas that were not answered in this world will help us in the next world, in such ways that people will wish that none of their duas were accepted in this world. Put your hope and trust in Allah, fear Him and love Him and we will recieve his mercy and rewards in ways we cannot fully comprehend. There are also ayats and wazeefas we can read.

May Allah have mercy upon all of us. Ameen

xxg 18 months ago

For the sister xxxFY, am in a very similar situation, i now you want to pls your family, but thin of this, will you be a faithful wife to him, and marriage is a life long contract, if you can't get out now, you,l never be able to once your maried, and you,l be a maried woman whoes heart is with another man, you dont want to gain Allahs anger in that way? What about the children you will have, be carefull y sister, its a shame your parents dont understand, perhaps get someone to spea to them because you could become trapped, or you can give it sometime and pray to Allah about it, he may save you before it comes to that. I really feel your pain and its so sad to hear that another sister is going trough this, pray and try to keep away in a halal way and stay close to Allah, it seems this man has some psychological issues he needs to deal with first.

Il include you and everyone else in my dua, have faith and dont give up Allah is always with us.

salam.

SisterZ 18 months ago

Asalamualykum all I hope you are all in the best of health. All of your stories and suffering that you have gone through have been really touching to read, it brought tears and joy to my eyes and made me realsie no matter how many probs we go through theres always someone out there who has been through more and that makes you appreciate what you have gone through as its all a test from allah swt. Sister ifirdous your story and account really inspired me so much and i thank allah swt from my heart that i found it, it brings much comfort in reading it for that jazakallah khair sister. May allah reward you well ameen

May allah grant all of you peace and serenity in this life, and ease away your pain and suffering,may he shower us with his countless blessings and and increase all of our imans and pleas pray for the whole ummah to be united as one and for peace for evryone ameen i hope you enjoy the rest of your day..wsallam

rosie 18 months ago

may Allah give you all the patience to cope with hardships in life, and grant you all happiness with each dua and parayer you make. inshaallah.

i got married (2nd marriage)a year ago. now i am 9 months pregnant, and husband left me over 5 months ago. his family and relatives have a big negative influence on him and hasn't supported or provided for me in my pregnancy. he still wont return. it is very hard, i have a 4year old son from my ex marriage, a house to run on my own, i have to do everything financially, etc, all on my own. please do dua for my husband to see sense and return home. i hav been praying, tried so hard to keep intouch with him, its hard when his family is making him turn against me. please, remember me in your dua's.. thankyou.

Anna 18 months ago

Hi - your story is inspiring, I had been praying for something but it has not worked, Allah SWT has given me many opportunities in favour of what I have prayed for but I hve been silly enough not to take them. I still want to pray and not give up but someone I cant bring myself to pray anymore, not with my heart. And I am worried for that. My situation is the opposite, I got married and the marriage very quickly became disillusioned, we're both unhappy, and I want to take a decision against the marriage, but he does not let me. Though neither of us are happy. And to make it work I have had to bend and change in ways I would rather not have, and its still kind of not enough. I dont know what to do.

SimilarSituation 18 months ago

Salam alaikum,

I can not give any advice here for I am not the right person so.

However, reading the main article, I am going through the same situation. Divorced after 1 year, and now I am 28 years old.

First 6 months were wonderful then he started getting worst and worst. Didn't pray, was unclean, played games all the time, couldn't depend on him. Every time we would argue he would always threaten to call my family or [ship me back home]. The last straw was when he threatened to divorce me when I wanted to spend money [from my own salary/bank account] on charity for EID.

I decided then and there that what is the point of living with such a person, who not only does not understand what kind treatment is and who I felt never loved me.

Thankfully I have no children, but I also feel that I am in a dark corner.

Alhumdillah at least I have a good job.

Inshallah my fate will be like yours and I get remarried to someone who appreciates me.

mrs khalid 18 months ago

plz pray 4 me may ALLAH solve my problems and my husband support me in his family

Allahs's Servant 17 months ago

Im at work, was just googling for a dua to read and came across your story. Really bought tears to my eyes!.. I went through a similiar sort of situation and got divorced after 3 weeks of my marriage. But your right sister, today im due to marry again, and masallah i couldnt ask for anything better. Allah has blessed you and will with all those who feel disserted. And today i say that i would go over all that pain again just to be with the person who am with now. The dua you listed insallah will read them too. Allah bless you and your family, and plese rember me in our duas. Ws

Takesheart 17 months ago

Your story touched me in a good way. I sometimes feel like duas are going unanswered but I remain steadfast in making them. I am happy you are out of the situation you were in and have found happiness. Alhamdulilah

nisha 17 months ago

hello!!i just started this 'Eya badiyul aja ebl khaire eya badiyu' for 12days 1200times...4days passed and im continueing this...im doing this because i love a person and he is going to tell his family about us...we have no hope just waiting for a miracle from Allah....is this dua correct?what are its correct word???/thank you

Separated  17 months ago

All,

I am going through the same situation.

I am a man (only child of my parents) with 2 beautiful kids and a wife, who are my life.

We got separated recently. My wife's is out of her senses and took a big step to get separated and put false allegations on me. Her family is behind all this and its all based on missunderstandings between us. I did everything to keep my family happy and I am still in shoked of what happened to me.

I have not talked to her and have not seen my kids since then as the court is involved and i can't contact her. You know systems here in UK.

Divorce is the act which Allah dislikes most among the halal actions. I want my kids and wife back , please pray for me.

Of course husband and wife is a very sensative relation where we need to be more cooperative and compromising.

I understand its not one's fault both parties have to take positive steps.

I always do that....

She gets more worreid about ''loog kia kahain geey'' if i step back , yeh woh.. rather worrying about the kids and family.

any way long story just pray for me. I am really worried about my kids future, I am loosing hope and getting more and more into depression... I have lost everything (job, house etc)

PLEASE REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS.

an 17 months ago

ur ex hus is the ultimate sufferer. May Allah bless u and show the way for a happy life.

Adam 17 months ago

Asalamualeikum.

Oh my sisters in islam am feeling 4 u that u 've suffered n stil suffering all those hardships.these r trials and tribulations from Allah and hold onto taqwa and patience and inshalah u wil succeed both in this world and the hereafter.but I have some advice 4 u.Your marriage starts before your marriage and not afterwards.you shouldnt be marrying a man 4 his riches and profession 4 he isnt diffrnt 4rm the cows if there is no Islam in his life.if a person fears Allah then he wil never disappoint u.some of us wrongly believe that if a person wears a turban and islamic garb and grow beard then he is pious.there are many who do these jst to hook u.if a person want to handshake u or be with u in private b4 marriage then he cant be trusted.o my sisters if u want to marry a mu'min be mu'minah yourself ie fear Allah and let Islam encompass your life and don't loose hope of the your lord's mercy and forgiveness and always remember that the more u beg Allah the more he loves u.and my beloved sisters make sure u don't marry a man who doesnt observe salaah or is an alcoholics for they wil surely ruin ur life in this dunya and akhira.and lastly my beloved sisters please make sure u raise an islamic family with ur children becoming hafids.walahu a3lam

Jazakalah khayral jazaa.

imaan 17 months ago

my sisters some how we all go true the same husbands pro i am going true the same thing from his family his sisters well do anything to bring fights and arque between me and him and his mom and dad support the sisters and they well brain wash him that its ur wife fault...i am so tired of defending my self i have 2 kids and to me rasing them muslim and the right ways is my dream i need to know what to do i have ben praying for more then 10 years that i wish his family happily go away from our lifes but seems like my dua's never get excepted by allha....they wont go any weher i sometime think to my self why allha wont except my prayrs we are always arqueing becoz of them my kids are sad they cuse fight and sadness between me and him what else i can possibly do plz plz pray for me i need to know whats the right way for me and my kids i want peace nothing ELS..

GYE 17 months ago

THIS STORY MADE ME REALLY SAD

syed Abdullah shah 17 months ago

plz brother sister pray§ for me i have also a problem in my marriage life

Idrees 17 months ago

Request to my all muslim brothers and sisters to pray for me i lost the one kidney because of cancer i have hard time so many financial problem my kids are too small please pray for me so i can come out with these problem.

BELEIVER  17 months ago

Can anyone please tell me what Durood e Shareef is? I tried looking it up online but it gave me many different duroods but not durood e shareef. Is is "salle ala hua ala Muhammad salle ala hua alaivasallam" ? Is that what durood e shareef is?

OmNaser 17 months ago

Hello I am so happy for you! I used to have a very difficult breathing due to anxiety disorder. It soon dissapeared just because I used to read Quran and Dua' as well . Also I used to read Athkar sabah and Masa' everyday. My life became much better within 6 months of reading. I still do read a lot because we should read them in happy and sad times. Keep on reading Quran :)

SHAHEEN BAIG 17 months ago

Salam alaikum,

SB. MAIN APNI ZAMEEN KO BECH KAR DUGNI KARNA CHATA HOON MERE ZAMEEN SHEHAR MAIN HAI MAIN GAON MAIN ZAKAR DUGNI KARNA CHATA HOON PAR MERA ZAMEEN KA KAM NAHIN HO RAHA HAI AADMI KHARIDANAY KAY LIYE BAHUT AATAY HAIN PAR KOEE ZAMEEN NAHI KHARIDTA AAP KOO DUA BATAIN ZO MERA KAM ASAN HO JAY

isal 17 months ago

I am married from last 4 years, have a 3 year old kid, i am not living with my husband from last 2 years, i came to my parents home when my father passed away, i am the only daughter no brother no sister, since than my husband never came to take me back, we had a huge fight before i came at my fathers death with his mother and sisters and his mother beated me as well, all my gold jewellary got stolen at their home after 3 months of our marriage. since i am not living with him he use to meet me outside home and with our kid, i want him to take a decision and take me in a seperate home that he will never do then i wanted to take me back at least as our kid is now school going and i want that our kid shouldnt get disturbed by all this. he first said he will take me and the kid back but then suddenly he disappeard i called him alot i tired to contact him from all means every way emailed him smsed him, called him but he never replied. i talked to his friends, cousins they said he want to keep me but he dont have guts to take me back he is affraid of his parents and he cant take a single step without them, what kind of a man is this that cannot take his family back...... he dont care for his kid as well for him this earth is just about a obeying parents..... he is so afraid of them that he cannot take us back...... these days i am very upset i dont know what to do... i have started praying but i am also very much hopeless........ plz tell me some dua to change my husband's mind and he contacts me and take me back home and my in laws accept me and we can live together

Precious Star 17 months ago

Dear ifirdous. Your story inspired me at a time when there is real DARKNESS in my life. I am waiting for my sunrise. This is what happened: This year, when I was 39, I met a wonderful man. He was not muslim but knew a lot about Islam as his father was muslim (his father died when he was a little boy so he wasn't raised muslim), so he respected me a lot and respected my values. All my life, no muslim man has ever shown an interest in me, no rishta's ever came my way, so I thought finally at this late age Allah was giving me a miracle. However, after several months I realized that he couldn't come to Islam and I separated from him. I loved him deeply,and he loved me. A few more momths passed and I really missed him, so I thought - why not try again? So I called him but he had already met another woman and was happy with her. He still cared about me and thought about me from time to time, but he could not return to me. I was so heartbroken and I am still heartbroken. It has been 2 months now. I pray all the time. I read sura Yasin and sura Kahf, and sura Inshira. I say La hawla wala quwwata illa billah. In the beginning i prayed that he would change his mind and come back to me, because the in Quran Allah says that He has created mates and He has put love in our hearts for each other - so I though Allah could do that for me. After a while I stopped praying for him to come back. I am really in a deep depression. My mother prays for me all the time, that i get a good husband soon because I am now 40 and I want children of my own. However she also tells me that she prays that this man comes back into my life and that everythign works out for the best. When my mother tells me this, I become so happy and filled with hope, that Allah SWT answers the prayers of the mother and maybe Insha'Allah He will return my beloved to me and this time it will all turn out ok. But, deep down I know it has been several months and this man is happy with someone else. I don't know what to pray for. I don't know if it is right and proper to pray for him to come back to me, since its been several months now. But does Allah SWT answer the prayers of the mother? I am 40 years old and no muslim man has ever shown an interest in me. What is Allah SWT telling me?

Penfold 17 months ago

I am currently going through a similar situation and I don't know what to do.

I have known my husband altogether for 7 years and have been married for 3 years. It was firstly a struggle to get married as the person I wanted to marry turned out to be Shia and I am Sunni. My parents were not happy about this and he was also previously divorced, which was just the icing on the cake. I didn't want to listen to my parents and fought hard to marry him and I eventually did. We were very happy for a while until I got pregnant, I then went onto have a miscarriage, I was distraught. I didn't feel my husband was very supportive but ignored this fact. My family were going for umrah and my mum said after the trauma I went through, maybe it would be a good idea forme to go. I knew I couldn't afford it, so them mum offered to pay. I asked my husband if I should go and hesaid as long as ur mum is paying u can go, so I did. I went for nearly 3 weeks and during that time he did not phone me to see if I was ok, which I thought was strange.

When I came back he was quite cold towards me and wouldn't give me a hug until I askedhim to.

A month later his brother decides to come for 2 weeks. At first he was ok but as the days went by his brother was stressing me and my husband would always take his side. Eventually he went back and husband stopped talking to me and wanted a divorce for the fact that I didn't make his brother feel welcome and that I disrespected him. I had to beg him for forgiveness and decided to give me another chance. A year on and my husband has tricked me into moving into my mums house and now says he doesn't want me back, my family is this and that. That I am Not a good wife and my parents didn't teach me anything especially how to respect a husband. He now wants to divorce but despite all this I still love him and want to be with him but now he just gives me verbal abuse. I recently found out he has been chatting to girls online back in December last year and also been txting I love u's to a girl back in October this year.

My family don't want me to be with him. But I am willing to give up everything for him so that he would take me back. He says he hates women, and now doesn't want to divorce cuz he isn't interested in marrying anyone else and cant be bothered but he is not willing to take me back. So what do I do, I feel so lost and alone nobody seems to understand the pain I'm going through they think it is easy to leave someone u love.

Faizan 16 months ago

May allah shower His mercy on all the muslimsa. Please people do not forget Allah SWT in good times and bad.

afrah 16 months ago

our story inspired so much me dat y i write my hardship story making dua.. ohh Allah! please help me i'm ready to change i jst need second chance in dis relationship start all over make things go better with me and myfinous nd be happy. i just get engaged month go thing where good now it’s gone really bad cos his mum doesn’t want as 2 be2gether at start but she didn’t have reason stop as be 2gther when every we have little argent his mum come in way make thing worst for us and now she brainwash him day and night to leave me and he thinking to end he’s sick of it. i can see really love me want be with me and he always there when need him .. and i am suffering all only i haven’t get my family or my friends with me to support me it sisters and brothers please please ,please bugles make due for me it happening soon …

May Allah accept everyone’s duas (Ameen)

Someone.. 16 months ago

Salam sister, your story was really sad but alhamdilah everything was getting better. We should all thank Allah for what he's been responding to our Dua. I think you will be shocked from me, because ive heard from many girls my age don't really visit Islamic sites and Dua pages, I'm 13 and from today I've been starting to look up Dua and Islamic pages because we don't know what will occur in our futures and should be ready. And inshallah I will be wearing a veil maybe in this month. Take care sisters and may all ur duaas be accepted inshalla Salam wa alaykom

k.ibrahim 16 months ago

Bismillah,ir-Rahman,ir-Rahim.

Ashahadu An Laa illaaha illal llahu

Wa Ash Hadu Anna Muhammadan Abdu Hu Wa Rasooluhu

''I bear witness that there is no deity but Allah

who is without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) is the Rasool.''

"O Allah, Shower Your Peace come upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, as you have brought peace to Ibrahim and his family. Truly, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious. O Allah, Shower your blessing upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, as you have blessed Ibrahim and his family. Truly, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious".

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam, As-Salaam Alaikum!

My Name is Khalid U.Ibrahim. I am in need of your (Du'a) Prayers for ALLAH's Help and Protection. (Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you to Bestow on us (the Believing Muslims) a Home, a Home of Safety, Security and Peace in this World Life, Out of the Reach of the Dajjal and his army, and also Grant us a Home of Safety,Security and Peace in the Life Hereafter,Out of the Reach of the Fires of Hell!.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you to Increase our Faith and Devotion, and to Bless us with Peace in our Hearts and Souls.(Ya ALLAH!) Please Forgive All The Believing Muslims,(Ya ALLAH!) Please grant All the Believing Muslims the Best in this world Life and the Best in Hereafter, and(Ya ALLAH!) Please Protect us(the Believing Muslims) from own Nafs, and(Ya ALLAH!) Please Protect All the Believing Muslims from the hands of the Dajjal and his army.] {No One in this World care!} (Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you for the means to do good, and to avoid evil, and Bless us to Love the poor, and I beseech you forgive us(the Believing Muslims) and have mercy on us. And When you subject the people of theWorld to trial, Protect us from being affected by it.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you, your Love and Protection,and the Love of those who Love you, and Grant us the Love of all such actions that will bring us closer to you, with our Love and Devotion to you.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I thank you for all your Mercy and Protection that you have bestowed on us, and all that you have given us in these trouble times that we are facing,(Al-Hamdolillah!).

hassan 16 months ago

Such posts may be true but unfortunately are very brainwashing. The are leaning more towards divorce than working out problems in a family. Everyone has problems, everyone. You just have to bare if for a while, bot look for a second spouse. You have to try and work out things in a sensible way, again, not look for a second spouse. I highly recommend no one read such articles, because they only lead to more and more problems.

ramna 16 months ago

I want to come may love back. Plz tell me what to do?

Huma  16 months ago

Asalam-u-Alikum !!

i'm so touched by your story !! MashAllah you are a brave woman you faced everything so bravely

you know what because of some other problem (not this marriage problem because of something else) i was searching on google true stories happened by Dua's and as you said that firstly you were doubtful that if Dua's can fulfill your Wishes and if Dua's can really move a mountain or Dua's can make miracles

but now after reading your story i'm more than 100% they do Dua's do anything but we have to believe Allah and than on ourself i'm sure Allah will fulfill our needs Ameen :)

please do pray for me also :):)

jazakAllah Khair !!

Allah Hafiz :)

Samina 16 months ago

Salaam! Please pray for me to get back my love. He just left me and I can't live without him. Please please pray for me. Allah will give you the reward. Please tell me some dua to get him back, I really love him and can't stay away from him.

sister80 15 months ago

salam sisters.

I am a 19 year old girl who is not proud of her past actions. I have been a very unfaithful muslin and done sins that cant be forgiven.

However, recently i realised what i was doing and changd my path and now i do hijab and ask for forgiveness and am more pious. My life was pieceful and i was happy until my ex boyfriend came back into my life and is now blackmailing me to be with him or else would destroy me. At first i thought he was just bluffing and i ignored his threats but now he has turned my loved ones against me and i am depresed. I cant do anythng to stop him and i am scared of what he can do next.

I have heard about 40 times yaseen but always fail to recite it 40 times in 1 day. Something always comes up and i fail to complete receiting it. Please help me. Suggest duas and surahas please. I have learnt from my mistakes please help.

Sweet 15 months ago

Assalamualaykum hi all hop u all ok n best in health.i never bin to this kind of things but i think i should because its realy gudd.i think every1z hav problm dis days but v loos hop v quick bt reading sister firdous story it has givn lots strength.i hv lots of problebs dnt knw wer to start lng story short i m divorsd nw im 25 was merid wen i was21 hav to take divorsd in15 dayz it was nightmare nevr want to think or anyone to go through like me.waitd for 3 yearz parents found sum1 after week everythin got fixd he said i dnt wnt to mery u i hv girl bakhom i was shaterd n didnt knw wt to do.its been year aftr dat nw goinfor umrah in march wnt to find sum1 hu cn take him wid me n do m nikah dr dts m wish i alwys dreamt for plz all u make duaa to allah snd sum1 for me n ist any quick n very effictiv duaa so cn pry plzz nidd heeeeppp thanks all n keep faith inallah ameen...

MRS J 15 months ago

Asalaam alikum all readers and all that are going through hard times. I came across this as I am going though a divorce and my convert husband rang me from aboard on business to tell me his leaving me. His not given me any valid reason and has humiliated me in front of family and friends with his lies and I pray hard this pain gos away soon and that I am strong enough to get through this. You see I lost my eye sign a few years back and I am also very ill and I thought my husband was a pious man but in realty

syeddubai 15 months ago

Dear brothers and sister

I also felt with the samething what my above sisters has felt ..but but but When i started reading namaz with dedication towards allah my pain has been vanished iam happy know by the grace of king of the universe Allah

ASAD 15 months ago

Read ur full story and feel like crying. GOD BLESS and wish you all the best for your upcoming life.

Mohammed Atif 15 months ago

Assalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters.

This is a really inspiring story that i read above. Thank u for sharing your experience with us.

Im also undergoing through some problems in my life. Im about to complete my graduation this year. And alhumdulillah im Hafez-e-Quran as well.

There is a girl whom i love very much and she loves me the same. We both cant even think of liveing without each other or marrying some other people in life.

The problem is that her mother is not agreeing to our marraige as the girl is already engaged with some other boy.

These is probably the hardest time of m life. Each day the pain in ur hearts is overvhelming. But we have full faith on Allah ta'ala. I know he is capable of all things. And also he is Musabbabul Asbab. He can change our hearts in a fraction of second.

Dear all, Its my humble request to you people to please remember us in your precious prayers. Because only prayers can take away this pain away from us.

Pleaseee.. Pray that her mother agrees to our request. And also nothing wrong happens. Jazak Allahu Khairan Kaseer.

Assalamu alaikum.

Liddle 15 months ago

Assalamu Alaikum...

I need prayers, please! i went thru a terrible divorce, in which i was being treated bad for three years, and finally i had the courage to leave him. Now after a long time i found a guy that treated me like a princess, and he loved me to death, and brought a marriage proposal to the house. He told his mom that i was divorced and convicned her, but then two days later she just randomly changed. i think his brothers convinced her to go against it. He was getting yelled at everyday by his brothers, my his mom, and he broke down...and left me a few days ago. He love me alot but is just confused. It hurts me that he gave up so soon, he only tried for a week, but I know he is completely broken inside.

Please give me duas, and prayers that I can say to have him back. Please let me know duas that will give him strength to come back. Please pray for me.

ayesha786ismail 15 months ago

asalamualaikum............... after reading this all....... i 2 sufferd many problems in my life..... but now i am happy... my love story is totally different.. i think i cant tell in words.... but i can tell my problem was solved only by ALLAHTALA he is the one.. i use 2 live my studies bcoz of my love(my husband)..and i hav faced many problems......... but thing i was doing was IBADATH namaz... reading quran...and always doing dua to almighty ALLAHTALA........ SO their is a solution for every problem is........ dua.... so always offer the namaz,read quran.. and pray for every muslim....

Sha_ali 15 months ago

Assalamoualaikoum,

I am writing in hope that my muslim brothers and sisters can include me in their duah since i cant share my problem with my family.

I really love my bf and so does he. The main problem is that he is facing a lot of trouble.He need a lot of money to sort his job and status here. He is completing his masters soon and has no study reason to stay here. He told me if only he can stay here another 2years,he can ask my hand the very soon but he doesnt want to do something which after marriage we both separate.

He told me if he cant stay here, he will have to return to pakistan or going to dubai. We don't want to let go each other, but everyday he keeps reminding me and hurts me a lot. i cry every night before i sleep.

As any normal girl i want to get married as well and be happy. We both don't want to be separate and both willing to get marry soon.

After reading the above duahs, i will Insha Allah from today start as well.

With a hope that Allah show me the right path and ease my difficulties as well as his.

Please bothers and sisters include me in your duah .. :'(

reema7867 15 months ago

Salam ifirdous i really enojyed reading your story,i am so happy for you that allah has given u happiness alhamdulillah.

What i went through is completely different well i am from uk,and i chose to have arranged marrage so i got married from back home,and when i brought him ova in the uk as life was going on i was getting confused as to what my husband married me for me? or visa? (as most women do get confused in the uk),but i had faith in allah did he's visa but inthe meantime we were living with my parents as my fam did not want me to rent they wanted me to buy house,so there argument between hm and mum but once,and then we moved out got our house aldulliah but yeah me and him did argue as husband and wife do but sum of the stuff i told my mum as mate which was a mistake,but alhamdulliah husband strted changing better for me alhamdullilah,he got his indefinite leave,and slowly he was help my fam, but my husband as a temper,so at one point my fam stoped talking to him when they have done bad to him,but then still apologised to my fam so we can go back together as a family. Somehow he lost his temper with my mum now mum cant stand his face,but he shouted at her cos of the pain she gave him.but he's even said sorry many times.

now what it is my mum is not talking to him but i know deep down he is dying to talk to my mum but mum dont, what i dont understand why cant my mum just forgive him as human do make mistake for my sake, alhamdulillah we both are happy (due to this family arguement it has brought me and him cloe alhamdulillah). i am standing by my husband,i know my mum would love me to go to her house with my two daughter but not my hubb,the way i see it is where my hubby cant go how can i,especially when they have done bad to him and apologised. i pray alhamdulilah and have patience.

please how can i get my mum and hubby back together?make dua for us

i know allah is there with me and everyone,at the beginning of my marrage me and have had hard time especially arguments but alhamdulliah it has calmed,i have prayed and have so much faith in allah as there is no1 better than allah,i do believe if u look postive with faith in allah good things do happen with patience.

I dont know if i am doing the rite or wrong with my mum i love her so much but what has happend to my hubby i am 100% by him,and not talking to my mum, but i really want my mum to get back talking to my hubby..

please help and give advice and make duas that my mum stubborness break and talk to my hubby even for the sake of my two babies who r losing out on my fam love.

please make dua for me and my fam,and whoever read this and everyone please dont give up have patience in allah and will make dua for u.

jazakallah

Precious Star 15 months ago

I posted here about two months ago. I have since come to a different conclusion about dua. Dua brings us closer to Allah. Yes, Allah is capable of ANYTHING. If He wants something to happen, He says Be! and it is!. When we make Dua to Allah, we are acknowledging to Him that He is in control of everything and our destiny is in His hands. However, dua is not a magic spell. Just because we say Dua, does not mean we will get what we want. Instead, we will become closer to Allah, and therefore we will become stronger and more accepting of what has happened in our lives. I have read and read so many stories of girls who pray day and night for their loves to come back to them; and they never come back.

Iffirdous, your story is inspiring. However, if you were 40 years of age, I doubt you would have gotten married again and had 2 children. You were young. So things worked out for you. I am 40; I don't think dua is going to magically make a husband appear out of nowhere and I don't think dua is going to magically extend the limitation date on my ovaries. It is POSSIBLE - I fully acknowledge that, that in Allah's hands anything is possible -- but I also know that Allah is not our slave, He does not do our bidding- we do His.

HOPEful 15 months ago

I appreciate you sharing your story with us all. May Allah (swt) continue to bless you and your family.

I am too going through a very rough time. I married a converted muslim and we met in college. We have had a very balance and happy marriage and embrace each others cultures and practice Islam. We both are students completing our goals and currently live separately due to school. Last month out of the nowhere my husband said he wants a divorce, I was so blindsided and shocked that I beg and plead with him. He said that he is tried and doesn't want to try anymore. I latter found he met someone that he has developed an emotional connection with. I have done everything to make it work with him, he tells that he doesn't care for me anymore and is now in the mist of filing divorce papers. I have been praying and fasting, but I am now becoming numb because I see so much hatred from him. His family support his decision and my family support me. I love him, but I no longer know what else to do... Please keep me in your prayers. Thanks!

brish.khan 15 months ago

wow. never lose faith or hope because ALLAH always does what is best for us...

reema7867 15 months ago

salam ifirdous u have not read my message please could u response?

Saleha 15 months ago

Salam to everyone

I need Allah help. I been data this guy for fours years and I love him ever much and he said he love me but everytime talk abot marriage he said we will soon.. I need your Duas that we do get marry.. I need your help please someone help me. I don't know what to do...pls pls pls pls help me God.. Pls Allah help me and this guy to get married pls pls pls..

Nehra 15 months ago

Prophet (SAW)'s Prayers

When in any difficulty

Recite:

?????????? ?????????? ??????? ????? ????????? ????? ??????? ???????? ?????? ?????????? ??????? ??????? ??? ?????? ?????? ??????

"O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, do not leave me for even the duration of an eye blink (duration) and correct my total condition. Besides You there is none worthy of worship".

(Hisnul Hasin)

Alternate dua

????????? ??????? ???????? ??????????

"Allah is sufficient for us and He is the Best Guardian".

(Quran, Surah Al-Imraan)

Alternatively recite

??????? ??????? ?????? ??? ???????? ???? ????????

"Allah is my Lord, I do not ascribe anything unto Him".

(Hisnul Hasin from Abu Dawood)

or recite

??? ????? ??? ???????? ???????????? ???????????

"O Alive and everlasting One, I beseech You by Your mercy".

(Mustadrak Hakim)

??? ?????? ?????? ?????? ??????????? ?????? ?????? ???? ?????????????

"O Allah, there is none worthy of worship besides You. You are Pure, definitely I have oppressed my soul by sinning".

The Qur'an states that these words were recited when Yunus (A.S.) called upon Allah from the belly of the fish. Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W.) stated in a hadith that when any Muslim makes this dua via these words to Allah, then Allah surely accepts his duas.

(Tirmidhi etc)

It is stated in a hadith that

??? ?????? ????? ??????? ?????? ?????????

is the medicine for 99 ailments, the least of which is depression.

(Baihaqi in Dawatul Kubra)

It means that these words are so beneficial and useful that big/great grievances, depression and sorrow are easily removed in its stride.

Abdullah bin Abbas (R.A.) narrates that Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W.) stated that if a person constantly makes "Astaghfar", then Allah removes every difficulty, frees him from every sorrow and makes a means for him to receive sustencance from places that he never thought of.

(Mishkat from Ahmad)

Nehra 15 months ago

Im sorry the Arabic wordings are not appearing correctly here to me, i have tried 2 times, dear Firdaus, plz delete my comments where not appropriate.

Shukriya

mohd shakeel 15 months ago

asalamualikum to all my muslims bros & sisters i want to learn arabic but here is no one can teach arabic because i'm indian so i am appealing to my muslims bro & sisters.so plz pray for me and remembered me in ur duas ok allah hafiz

fcf 14 months ago

your story is very inspirational!!! i fell in love with a boy and after a year he left me and told me he couldn't marry me becoz of his parents, i was and still am very upset about it. Now a muslim man has come for my hand in marriage but i still love the other boy and im so confused about what to do. My parents love this new guy but im not sure if i want to marry him and i don't know how to tell my parents that i don't want to marry him. I have been praying about this but inshallah i will get my answer soon!!

Precious Star 14 months ago

Listen everyone. I have a story for you. At age 39, after praying for YEARS, I met the love of my life. However, he was not muslim and could not convert to Islam so I had to leave him. I have prayed that he changes his mind and comes back to me. I never had proposals from muslim men, so I knew that this was my last chance. I am now 40. It has been 7 months since we parted. I have prayed day and night. I have begged Allah that He relieve my pain, that He brings peace into my life, that I forget about the man that I love, and that I meet someone else. I have prayed tahajjud, istikhara, 16 rakats on rabi an-wal, nafl on lailatul qadr, Sura Kahf on Fridays, Sura Yaseen after fajr and after Isha. I have cried tears in sajdah. I read prophet Musa's prayer when he arrived in Madan. I have read durood sharif. I have also tried to exercise, see a counsellor, speak to an Islamic cleric, take St. JOhn's wort and Omega-3's.

But for 8 months now, I have cried every day. The pain inside me is like a knife. I am hurt beyond belief. I have tried to meet other people but no one is forthcoming. I do not have peace in my heart and mind, and I am incredibly lonely.

Despite all my prayers, I have not achieved peace, or comfort. I now know that Allah SWT does not always give us what we want, because of something called QADR, or destiny. There is a hadith that says, what was meant to touch you could not have missed you, and what is meant to touch you will not miss you. I have begged Allah for years for a nice husband and babies. I have begged Allah that He make this man my husband in an Islamic way. I have begged Allah to give me peace and to take away the hurt and pain inside of me. But the truth is that I am now 40 and after all this time, Allah is showing me that I can't beg Him for somethign that is NOT written in my QADR. Someday, this may give me peace.

For all of you who are praying for your loved one to come back, remember that if it is not meant to happen, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN, regardless of how much you pray. Iffirdous, your Qadr turned out to be beautiful, masha'Allah. Three beautiful healthy children and a loving husband -- that is wonderful. But that does not happen to everyone who wants it. You only had to wait a few years. I've been waiting my entire life, and trust me I have prayed A LOT more than you did in your story.

My mother has prayed, too, that the man I love comes back, or that I meet someone else who is special and with whom I can have children. But now that my 40th birthday has come and gone, we both know that that will not happen.

Peace on you all.

zeshaan 14 months ago

Precious Star sme times we actually dnt knw what is rite for us and nobody does except ALLAH RABULALAMEEN...

Try doing this

300 timez 3rd kalma full (SUBHANALLAHE WALHUMDULILLAHE)wid 11 times ayat ul kursi in start n end of this tasbeeh daily after fajar prayers n then do dua for ur slf smething better.

300 times Darood e Ibraheemi after isha prayers daily wid 11 times ayat ul kursi in start n end n then do dua for ur slf.

Hajira 14 months ago

As salamalaikum,

To all muslim members,i am a MBA degree holder having experience in India, nw i am in UAE. i dont knw why i am not getting any job in UAE. i beleive in Allah tala, i offer salaath and pray for good job. my hubby and FinLaw always asks me u scored 70% in MBA what abt job . r u not attending interview. what to answer i am not getting any calls frm company, if i call to company and ask they ll say ,unfortunately ur CV is not reaching our creteria. since 14 months i am searching job in UAE am tensed. i need ur help pls tell me dua which is helpfull for me and my family.can i get ur email id i want to discuss abt my brother's marriage.

take care

jaza kaalahu khair

afshan 14 months ago

iam the studend of 2nd year please pray for me my anual exams coming soon

Abdullah 14 months ago

There is no words to describe HIS glory, HE is the strangest thing in this universe Love him and He will love you more, call his name and He calls your name..All glory to him..May he bless us all..

s hussain 14 months ago

all of your stories are heartbreaking may Allah give hapyness to all you sisters.

samreen 9 months ago dont know if you gonna read this but 2 make yourself loose wieght and look good drink plenty of water esp in the morning with bit of honey as this is the sunnah,going to gym and this and that dont always work,but eat queter less then your hunger,,sister there are lot of people who dont care about how skinny you are .so dont wury some1 wiill come for you a good muslim.InshaAllah

Naj 14 months ago

May Allah bless all you beautiful sisters and do remember me in you duas ameen

Ya'Allah 14 months ago

Dear All,

Where shall i start?! Listening to all your different stories it brought me abit of delasa!

Please listen to my story and help a sister in desperate need! Inshallah...

Ive been in a relationship now for 10years, i met him at college and we got together at university. We both have been through many ups and downs together and supported each other in our most difficult times.

February 2008 he came around my hand in marriage and my parents accepted but told him that he should buy a house before he married me as he lived in a rented accomodation and my dad didnt want either of us to face any difficulty later on in life. however we both were looking for a marriage house together and then came to Decemeber 2008 his parents came around again saying its abit difficult buying and we can get married and then look after so my dad agreed and my zabaan was done.

The day my zabaan was done i came to find out from his friend that he had cheated on me on several occasions, i didnt believe his friend until i saw him with my own eyes! so in Janaury 2009 i told him i didnt want to be with him, his family loved me to bits and i got along with his mum like a house on fire! She showered me with gifts on eid etc...

I told my parents i didnt want to marry him but i didnt give them a reason why. (i didnt want him looking bad infront of my family and his own) so i quitely bottled everything inside me and walked away from him slowly. he use to ring me day and night asking me why i have changed my mind and all i kept saying was u have hurt me u have hurt me how can u do this to me! He did quite abit to get me back as he use to finish work earky morning and park outside my house so he could take me to work he started to show me more attention and love whereas in our relationship he took me for granted!

Novemeber 2009 he came back into my life and i had been through alot of pain tying to get over him and even tried to get to know another guy who messed things up for me even more! Things got so bad with this guy that i had to go to the police station as he would leave me alone, still my man of 10years took me to the police station was there with me evrybit of the way and supported me. after my police case got settled when the physco left me alone me and my man of 10years tried to start from a fresh and build trust in each other he told me he had cheated on me and at that very moment i told him i knew and thats why i had left him! I forgave him and we both put all mistakes behind us and tried to move on.

April 2010 he hit me for no reason and i was sooooo hurt thinking why did he do such a things we oth loved each other sooooo much, i went totally crazy this time and followed him and asked begged him for answsers to why he reacted in such a way! I never got any answers and i waited everyday for his call, txt or email.

I didnt hear from him i phoned him October and December 2010 on his birthday but i still got a negative reply, i wanted to STILL patch things up with him as i still love him and these hard times i tried to move on but i couldnt i even tried to convince myself that i didnt love or care for him but i did! I was becoming weak everyday so i decided January 2011 i need to speak to him for a final time and see if we could still get married and fulfill our dreams we shared!

So January 2011 i emailed him and still got a negative reply and after a few email conversations he asked to see me and we both met up! when we both met feelings were mutual we both still loved each other and the careness everything was there, he even held me and asked me to never leave him again and that his life was complete when im there! I was in a emtional state and couldnt believe i have seen him again and that his back into my life.

He took me out showered me with gifts and done alot for em, taking me for hospital apointments etc... Until last week Wednesday i rang his mum as i doubted him alittle as everytime we spoke about marriage he put it off, he lept saying we're friends etc! I was really confused and even asked if there was another woman and he said NO! he told me that his parents had been around a few girls houses for hand in marriage but nothings worked and kept saying to me he wanted a wife like me and the day he finds one he will marry her, i kept saying to him imm here wot u need another woman for?!

So when i spoke to his mum last week wednesay she told me that his getting to know another girl. I confronted him and he said to me if u wanna marry me heres my conditions, i even agreed to his conditions after several arguments (conditions are: Do a nikah ONLY, leave my job - i have a brilliant job) When i agree to his conditions his said to me no! that his getting to know another girl and that if it works with her so be and if it doesnt than he will make things work with me!

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Brothers and Sister help me, i read and have turned to Allah SWT for help and i live EVERYDAY in HOPE that him and this girl dont work out! i dont want to sound mean and horrible but I Love this guy and want us to work i DONT WANT our 10year relationship going down hill... we have been through a very rough ride together, i know u might say its meant to be so leave him but if its meant to be WHY DO WE KEEP COMING BACK IN EACH OTHERS LIFES? WHY WHY WHY?

Please help and advise me i cant talk no sense into myself nor can my family and friends! Im the kind of person who gives people advice and courage and today i CANT SEE IT FOR MYSELF!

Please help a lifeless sister! :'''( xx

Precious Star 14 months ago

Dear Ya'Allah:

Your relationship has already gone downhill. It went downhill the day he cheated on you and then it crashed the day he hit you. Seriously, Allah SWT is trying to protect you -- why would Allah SWT want you to marry this man? Please do dua that Allah SWT gives you a nice husband who will always love and cherish you, not a man who hits you and cheats on you. You do not love him; you are attached to him.

smushtaq 14 months ago

dear ya'allah

i think that ur praying for the worst thing in my sense ..allah has already shown you the true face of this man ans stl u wanna b with him. i have been thru the same, believe me, 2 months ago i was in the same condition as ur in now.evn tough my ex didnt physically abuse me,the mental torture of being of being ignored by the person i loved the most almost killed me..then i found some pix of him which he had posted in his profile with some other girl(in a very compromising position)..i called my best frnd and cried for about an hour but then she told me something tht i remember tll now..she told me that i should consider myself lucky and thank allah coz he saved me from a disaster and wants to save me for some 1 special. she told me that"only when u separate from some 1 can u get close to some1 else" even though i am stl single and he is in a relation already! i knw insha allah i hav better things to come than him.. u hav been hurt and healing will take time ..i dont wana lie it will be extremely painful every day waking up every day and being without him but as time passes u will come to terms with life nd isha allah wont be dissatisfied ne more ..knw it aint the easiest thing to o but u just have 2 forget this guy. ur force of habit makes u feel that ur in love..may u find the strength to do so..tc..cheers..

Muslimah.A 14 months ago

As Salamu Alaykum,

I have been a victim of black for years and its been about one year since my concentration/focus on my studies is bad, but I used to be a bright student. My memory isn't very good too and my brain has been weakened. Now I'm behind in my studies. How can I improve my focus and concentration and remove the black magic that is affecting my education? Is there a special du'a or anything to read? JazakhaAallah khair. Please reply thanks.

masood 14 months ago

mashallah thank you

Ya'Allah 14 months ago

Precious Star & S Mushtaq,

Thanks sooo much for your advice, it really has helped! I live everyday in a HOPE that he will be mine! Ive done Isthikara and that came out positive aswell, i dont know what to do i am getting mixed feeling but 1 ver strong one which i will Inshallah share with you guys very soon!

Please pray for me and Inshallah i will keep praying for my brothers and sisters in pain and difficulty.

Darood Shareef is very Powerful and once reading that make a dua to Allah SWT and u will start to see positive signs Inshallah.

xxx

Shaima 14 months ago

Asalam u Alikum wa Rehamatullah hi Wabarkata hu

Dear Bro. and Sis. in Islam all i want to say is happiness and sadness are both in our life. but usually wn we are going in our sad phase of life we start cursing our destny or start creating propblems to others by our bad mood. In actuallity it is Allah swt who is testing us that how we react in both situation ,if we show patience inshallah Allah swt will gave us reward for that (Read story of Ayoub R.A). and Start loving and being patient to the people around us even if they are not good as if they cant do good to us Allah will surely give great reward to us for that.

Allah Hafiz and yes dont forget to Read life of AYOUB R.A and do pray for me too

Sayyedah 14 months ago

Assalamualaikum

Im very shocked to read your hub by pure coincidence while searching for some duahs to relieve my problem... Im living the SAME STORY you have lived exactly the same dr! I believe this is a not a mere coincidence.. Same love, same betrayal by husband, same problem of gambling...everything's so the same....

I had lost hope on everything and am at a stage where there's only darkness everywhere...

after reading your experience and trust in namaz and Allah... i think i've a way out...

Thanks for help..may be its unconscious but you are halping me lots.......

Thank You....

painfull heart 14 months ago

dear all sister,

I have read all story of you. I realy see hope to get back my love one.

i love someone live in Dubai. Suddenly in December'10 my family forched me to get married with a boy. the boy is not so bad. but problem is i cant feel comfort with him. I always feel my love. I always see his face infront of my eyes, I cant think that im not with him. When i think about my happy life with children i see only my love not my husband.

i heard that after married girls love their husband. its hapen naturly but after three months of my married i cant feel anything about my husband,

I want my love . can u tell me which dua or wat should i do to get him. please help me, coz every second i feel tense, feel cry, day by day my life is going to unberable. please which dua or wat special amal i have ti do to get rid of this proble and get my love,

ayesha 14 months ago

mashaallah....

fatima 13 months ago

salam alikum sister

very gald to hear u are doing well dis days.. wil include u in my prayers ...

suhur 13 months ago

dear sisters can you please make dua for me as i would like to get married and have children its always been my dream to have a husband and get married in a halal way. i know that allah has something planned out for me that is really good i just have to have iman. inshallah sisters please please make dua for me as i have been making dua for myself and inshallah i will make dua for all the sisters. salam

Zainejaz 13 months ago

Interesting hub sister Firdous! we desperately need intellectuals like you... May Allah bless you with Janat al Firdous...

painfull heart 13 months ago

please tell me which dua i should amal i should do to get back my love which i want

Muslimah 13 months ago

@painfull heart

As Salamu Alaykum

Go on this website: http://islamicexorcism.wordpress.com/

It has lots of information and amals for curing black magic. You can also ask a question aney answer with lots of advice.

abdulaziz musah 13 months ago

I do thank you so much my fellow brother and sisters for your lovily messages and comments.May allah the almighty bless you all.

Well I am also facing great problems these days and i was thinking how to solve these problems when i across this site and after i gone through i felt very happy that i never had in my life before .It tells me that with Allah All things are possible and there is time for everything. Allah's time is the best when that time is up no one can stop it from coming and when that is not up no one could let it come. And also learnt that prayer is the solution to every problem.I do thank you all so much.may Allah be with you all and listen to our prayers.

rjan25 13 months ago

AOA

i have been in same situation, got divorced after 8 months of marriage. he was a nice person but his family did not want us happy together, his family turned him against me, even though our marriage was arranged.

i think i still love him but we have been divorced since 3 years now.

I am trying to get married again but everytime someone brings rishta it just does not work and they dont come back. I have not done anything wrong, not a very good muslium but do perfom prays now and then.

my parents are very worried about me, they want me to get married again and see me happy in their life.

Please help me and advise me any dua that can help me to get married again with better person.

Rayhana 13 months ago

After reading your story and looking at Allah's justice by giving you a second chance got TEARS in my eyes. Allah is so KIND, and Merciful...subhanallah

Honey 13 months ago

Salam

I like other was surfing the web for some duas for a possible miracle and came across your post which I must say is very inspirational . I was married at 18 and have two beautiful children who are my life. Marriage life was always rocky from the start bit has gone worse every day . I'm not allowed to see my family as my husnand hates them becoz they know what he's like. Marriedl ife Was good to start with then my husband cheated but I forgave him and came back as he denied it . That was 15 years ago and it has never been the same. My husband is physically abusive and emotionally too but everyone thinks Hes a saint . All his family is abroad and they adore me they don't know what hes like as he's a good actor. I made so

Many sacrifices and now is so horrible to me he dies not speak to me over the silliest of think like too much oil in his food. I could go on forever all the torment he has pit me through and I have stuck by him through thick and thin literally. He was out if work for 5 years and I had to be the breadwinner I was so committed . Called his brother here from Pakistan who he had deported because he let slip something from his past. I ve had enough of his childish ways je doesn't even realise what he's doing. He accuses me of things and calls me a prostitute which is very hurtful I don't even know who he is anymore .... I could write novel it I had to get it off my chest . I too am looking for the light and this will be a start please pray for me and hope Allah will guide me too him inshallah . Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Precious Star 13 months ago

Listen, all of you should read this blog:

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/worship/du

You will understand that Dua is about fostering a nearness to Allah. It is NOT about getting what you want. It is about accepting His will for you and what He has written for you.

If you pray, Allah will give you strength and give you reward in the hereafter. But He probably will not give you what you asked for.

Dua is NOT magic. It is not jaadu. Trust me, I have been praying for a husband and babies for over 15 years, and I have received nothing, and now that I am 40 I will not have babies. The only man I met, at age 39, broke my heart, and I prayed that Allah SWT make things easier for me, but instead that man was given happiness with another woman; he is happy to be without me, and I am hurting, hurting, hurting, for over 8 months.

Allah SWT will listen to your prayers and will save them for the hereafter. But don't think that by praying all night and saying "X" 100 times and sura "y" 44 times and "ABC" 99 times means that Allah SWT will give you what you want.

Dua is not a menu in a restaurant, that you just order and God delivers. It doesn't work that way.

Trust me, in my pain and darkness I have done A LOT of research about dua. There has been a lot of sadness in my life, especially recently, so I have tried to understand God's will for me. Please take this from someone who has read many articles about dua and i have looked at the Quran closely -- Allah SWT will give you what He pleases....Prayer/Dua will bring you closer to him, but He is not a vending machine that if you pray X number of times you will get what you want.

Allah SWT promised us happines in Jannah, not on earth.

shukriya 13 months ago

assalamwalykum,

i am also very sad...its 2 yrs i got married, I am seperated from my husband since last 3 months...and i stay alone as i m working in a metro...and my parents stay in a different city, my hometown...i love my husband so much, I also don't want a divorce...i pray to Allah to bring my husband back to me...i am so alone...i don't go out anywhere...all the weekends i sit back home, and keep thinking...and pray to Allah to make me a righteous wife for my husband and make my husband also righteous towards me, ameen...we love each other...but still there is a gap between us...its so painful...i can undstnd how bad it is wen a relationship brings...Please pray for me and I also pray for you all that all your hardships are made easy by Allah and you get happiness and peace...

Dareesha 13 months ago

Assalamoalaikum!!

I've passed through the difficult time but its over now by the grace of Allah. This story is very touching but the most beautiful part was that the girl didn't loose heart and put her trust on Allah. And mashallah is succeeded. Another appreciating thing you did is to share your experience and the barakah and blessings you benefited from Allah.

my All best wishes and prayers are with you.

In this society victim could be any one; a guy could be victim sometimes and my brother is one of them. He prays five times a day, reads quran and doesn't have any bad habbit and alhamdulillah healthy also but her wife got divorced and in Pakistan now with daughter.

I 'm looking for a good proposal for him. If anyone knows a girl who wants to marry in Australia, can contact me.

jazak Allah

dareesha.k@hotmail.com

Quran 13 months ago

This world is really cruel If you beg from life it will make you beg and when you start trusting ALLAH(GOD) then you will never beg in front of any one to put mercy on you.

rose 12 months ago

May Allah ease everyone's pain and suffering including my own amin. I pray for the a muslim man who I love but he doesnt even know it! I ask Allah to bring us together because he is muqalib alquloob. Try to stay focused on duas because they help to relieve the heart sinking feeling I walk around with everyday. May Allah grant us the objects of our affections so that we may dwell with them in peace and tranquility. May Allah lighten the heaviness I feel in my heart whenever i see or have a brief talk with the person I so dearly care for in this dunya and akhira.

Ummekulthum 12 months ago

Salaam Sister in Islam

I am very impressed with how life changed to miraculous blessing of Allah. I am apparently Divorced for 4 years, Life made me hard challenge, God placed me trials. I do cry sometimes life seems very hard for me , I am blessed with everything i asked from Allah (s.w.t) but i never received "PURE LOVE". I know i always showed my sincerity to who ever I cared for , but i kept getting deceived. Yet until now I have no hard feelings for anyone who hurt me , I pray good for everyone. I know we all do mistakes in life but Surely Allah is all forgiving and merciful. I am progressing in life , but im lacking of one things its just PURE LOVE" I am waiting for that day when a sound of a man comes who walks with me until DEATH blessed in hands of Allah. Dear Sisters & Brother in Islam, i need nothing in this world , i don't have any interest in materialistic of this world but make me a short Dua for sure i deserve something little good a PARTNER who is loyal to me and i belong to him. Its essential in life to live to continue our offsprings and thats the reason we are created.I remember my Lord every night but he still has put me into trials, I know he is hearing me but he has placed me in PATIENCE , that one day will come INSHALLAH. The writer of this site has inspired me and brought me into a faith of Allah. And Surely Allah is al-mighty great!

Live In Fear 12 months ago

ASAK - Like so many women here I was looking for some resource ti help me thru' the pain of a husband who married me for money, used me and now that he is where he wanted to be wants to divorce me.

His excuses are so flimsy that it is unimaginable - I have sworn with my hand on the Quraan clarifying some of his allegations, yet he still refuses to believe me.

I have no other option but to turn to Allah and beg him to do what is best for me.I am tired to trying to prove that I am not a bad person who does bad things.

You have inspired me - InshaAllah I shall have justice.

Ameen!

JazakAllah!

Tayba 12 months ago

May Allah (SAW) grant you all happiness and solve your problems x

Ferdous 12 months ago

Assalamoalaikum

after reading this article i am begining to feel hope for myself.

i have been married for 3years and extremly misrable, i constantly cry myself to sleep and recently suffer severe head aches. i live with my inlaws and its a complete nightmare, my husband n i constantly fight and say mean things to each other, sometimes we dont speak to each other for days.

when i do speak to my husband about how i feel its as if he doesnt hear me or understand me.

i was looking for an answer as to how to improve my life and a way to get closer to Allah,as i know the only way is to place my faith in Allah. i found that answer today Alghamdulillah after reading this article.

Shukran so much, insha allah ALLAH SWA will give me the strength and imaan.

wasalaam

Maria84 12 months ago

Assalamoalaikum muslim sisters and brother.

Reading this, i got very happy cause inshalla i will continue with my dua's, reading all of ur stories gave me hope and i hope Allah will help all of u and make ur dua come true. Im going throgh something really hard right now and i hope u inshalla can mention me in ur prayer..i have been making differents dua but sometimes to be honest..i feel like im praying for nothing, since i dont see any changes..but i think this is why we are going throught different prbolems, allah wants to see if we give up our faith or not..its very important for us not to listen to the evil shaitan who sometimes gives me these stupid toughts. Sometimes im going through some periods that i stop praying cause im getting tired but i hope and pls pray for me that i inshalla get a husband that i can love,respect, obey and live with forever. Im already engaged but it does not feel right, I do not love him. I dont feel comfortable with him but at the same time I dont what to get divorced since I hate the word divorce. I am very confused and I dont know what to do. He says he loves me and I think he does but I dont. I hate him and I dont know why I do it. I need your help please. It is very hard for me because i feel like everyone is blaming me. The funny thing is that before getting engaged to him, i always prayed to Allah that i dont want to be engaged to him. I had not spoken to him before but his parents had proposed and I did not want to engaged with him..i tought praying, allah would help me but maybe like you say, everything happens for a reason. I feel like I had to engaged but after my engagement i have been up and down, for a sec i want to live with him cause I cant imagine getting divorce but for the other moment, i feel like i have no choice. Pls mention me in your prayers and i dont wanna loose my hope and faith. I want to be a good muslim and a good wife and have children. Im not that old but im afraid that if i get divorced, no one will marry. Thank you very much for reading this and Im going to inshalla wait for ur answers. Maybe someone has been in the same situation and can help me? I can give u my e-mail and i would love to get help.

thank you once again and may allah give all of you a happy life and make your wishes come true

unknown 12 months ago

HI I NEED HELP

Mohammed Saifullah Khalid 12 months ago

Assalamualikum my dear sister.

Hope you are doing good. your story started with great pain and ended with the happiness and with a great lesson.. when i reached the line where u mentioned "ur happiness and having 3 children and caring husband" I felt very very happy. yes this is power of ibadath that u have done.

May allah bless the whole ummah with thofeeq of ibadath

Best Regards

Mohammed Saifullah Khalid

Sr Software Engineer

Hyderabad

India

Parvin Auchoybur 12 months ago

I was going out with a boy for a solid 9 years. He was lying all way through and I was not aware of his behaviour behind my back. He used to go out with different girls behind my back and yet very caring when he was with me. He left me without letting me know. He went to Pakistan and got married to her cousin. I was left in the dark and in the middle of nowhere. It has been 4 years now and still cry. I am very into my 5 times prayer, reading Quran, fasting etc and still I have no strengh to deal with my past. I put all my trust in the one and only ALLAH.

Precious Star 12 months ago

Parvin:

You must see a psychologist or counsellor. Trust me, 4 years is too long to be grieving and crying. You need to move forward and learn to forget about your past. Your ex boyfriend is not worth these tears.

lost girl 12 months ago

so i found this site in the midst of a deep depression and even as i am typing this i am in tears...this is my story- i am a divorced 27 year old female (been divorced for 4 years now) and am well over that...my problem is that ive met the mst amazing guy, we spent almost 6 months togther and he was amazing with my son as well-really took him as his own...he wanted to get married and at that time i felt i couldnt- we then parted ways and now 3 months down the line i feel i am ready to get married and he says he is interested in somone else...i am completely heartbroken and am cryin 24 7- i feel like its my own fault that this happened and i never should have let him go in the first place - am hoping with dua and salaah that he will come back- there are times i feel like i wanna die cos i let such a good guy go - i pray to Allah to reunite us and i dont know what else to do anymore, i am so very very sad..........

Shazia  12 months ago

Dear Sisters, Asalamalaikum,

I read all the posts above. Even I am also in the same category I am divorced since 4years we were together for 17years my life was not so happy even though for my children sake I tolerated everything at lost he got married to a rich woman.Even though he dint love me I loved him a lot that I am unable to forget him Iam living with my 2 children.. And have a good job also Allah is supporting me in every way but I feel the loneliness.. Please sisters & brothers do remember me in ur valuable prayers that I should get peace

Shazia Sultana 12 months ago

My dear Sisters please try to read this it may very helpful to your problem.. Please daily read Surah-E- Muzammil 11times daily for 3months with 3 times Darood-E-Sharief before & after.But it should be read daily without leaving even 1 day.. ladies can continue after their periods.. Inshallah you get success in life.. Mashallah

Precious Star 12 months ago

Dear Lost Girl:

Don't worry - eventually you will forget about him and it will hurt you less. Like someone said to me, if he was truly your "white knight", he never would have rode away without you. Take care of yourself!

Lost Girl 12 months ago

Dear Precious Star, Jazakallah for those words...still i feel i threw away something precious, its not everyday that someone comes along and loves you with all his heart and accepts your son as his own..i cannot believe that i declined his propoal a few months ago and now that i feel i am ready he has turned away...i feel so hopeless and worthless and i keep questioning the timing of everything:( i really want him to come back and i have no idea how to get that right anymore - i have begged and pleaded and cried to him and he just isnt interested anymore...i pray that Allah will change his mind about us and make us a family inshallah...please keep me and my son in ur duas, shukran

precious star 12 months ago

Lost Girl:

I have been through EXACTLY the same thing you have been throuh.

I let someone go, and then regretted it. By the time I changed my mind, he met someone else, only a short few months later.

I begged Allah SWT to return him to me, that he change his mind and we can get married. I read namaz and dua all day and all night, and so did my mother. He was the only man who ever loved me and he treated me like a princess.

It is now 9 months. He is not back.

Sister, please, stop this. He is not coming back to you. Move on. Love your son and be a good mother to him. At least you have a child. I don't have anything.

Maybe you did make a mistake, who knows, but things happen for a reason.

Maybe next year or the year after, I will be reunited with the man I love, and you will be reunited with the man you love. Maybe NEVER. Probably NEVER!

Be strong.

sana 12 months ago

i read asabor 30,000 once in aweek

it solve al problem

Siraj 12 months ago

subhan allah

tayyeba 12 months ago

one of my friend emailed me the link it brought tears to my eyes

em going thru the same situation em 21 and my marriage didnt work more than 8 days :( 5th dec 2010 to 12 dec 2011 i have no words to expalin wat em i going thru till today i cry everyday!

zee 11 months ago

all your stories really touched my heart, may allah solve all your problems and bring happiness into your lives, amen.

i will make dua for you all whenever i am making one for myself.

I am going though hard time in my life but its nothing compared to you all so may allah help you all.

I feel stuck at one place with my problems and i lost hope but then i realised that allah can give me what i want no matter how impossible it may sound so i will pray to allah and be close to my allah not only for geting solutions to my problems but to become a better muslim inshallah.

Ya rab, please answer all our prayers

Sister S 11 months ago

Salaam,

Please remember me in your prayers sister. I'm in very very hard times..

May Allah forgive our sins Aamen.

Wasalaam

Sanu 11 months ago

Assalamu Alaikkum Sis,

I read and observed the pain of ur story. U know every one has a pain, even me too. U enjoyed ur early life, but for me nothing........i got usually punished for others mistake. U have a support from ur mom for me nobody expect My dear Allah and some of my friends.Actually my sister done a mistake in her life. But my parents didnt scold her for anything. Instead of punishing her, they are punishing me. They are even killing my dreams.But u know my sister is living a very good life what she wills. she is very happy. she wont consider anyone's pain.

U know i have dreams about my future married life. But they are not allowing. Even they are not considering my feelings.

I am crying daily and asking my almighty to change my fate. Usually i won't express my sorrows 2 anyone.

But nowadays all are asking y u r worried and sad. i didnt told anything 2 them.becoz wat they can do?

I ask my close friends to pray for me Insha allah to get a good life aameen. I trust in My Almighty. Please pray for me too. Please.......... Insha Allah, hope Allah will give me a very good life and what i expected in my life and make my dreams to come true aameen

samina 11 months ago

please pray for me and my children, my husband is prone to other illegal relationship with other ladies.And he is ignoring and abusing me and my children.he is not even bothering about his children.8years before i married to him.Soon after six month after marriage he is punishing me and insulting infront of everybody.Every second of my life is like a hell.Everyday iam praying to god but untill now there is no results.Plzzzzzzzzz pray for me who ever read this comment.I dont want to leave my husband.Icant live without him.Plzzzz pray for me.

muslimah 11 months ago

i was looking for a site that i can relate to and i found this, i have to say it really give me hope. i was married to the love of my life and about two years ago he divorced me. and now im hearing that he is getting married soon. im so devistated that i cry everyday ther is not a day that i dont cry. please make dua that he comes back to me so that we can be happy again. i dont see myself with anyone else. make lots of dua for me as i will for everyone.

mother 11 months ago

salam to u all.i m touched with all above painful experience which u all had gone through.i always pray for u all n i wish u all also please pray for my son n my husband.please its my request to u all to pray coz i know n i belive tt if u pray for others with whole heart,up there is one who listen soon to us.so please pray n i will also pray for u all.inshallah evrytg will be ok just have faith in him.AMEEN SUMMA AMEEN

iram 11 months ago

Mashallah thanks for sharing this I make dua that you be happy is so nice when people share there experiances it makes you think postive thanks sister

mohammed irfan ahmed 11 months ago

Assalamoalaikum

after reading this all article i am begining to feel very happy myself

every time in my life i use to read in trouble and for success only one thing its very east and simple any time any where we can read my father gave me try it u will get response as soon as possible

start every time with when u read it

aaouzu billahi minash shaitaanir rajim

Bismill?hi r-ra?m?ni r-ra??m

Al ?amdu lill?hi rabbi l-'?lam?n

Ar ra?m?ni r-ra??m

M?liki yawmi d-d?n

Iyy?ka na'budu wa iyy?ka nasta'?n

Ihdin? ?-?ir?? al-mustaq?m

?ir?? al-la??na an'amta 'alayhim ?ayril ma???bi 'alayhim wal?? ??ll?n ameen

inshallah 100% sure u get result

trying not to lose hope 11 months ago

Lost Girl and Precious Star...I went through the same thing...I'm divorced for 2 years after suffering from 14 years of hell where I lived walking on egg shells in constant fear to trigger the anger of an abusive husband.

Then I met a wonderful Gentleman who made me feel like a human being again...and who accepted me with my 2 daughters as one package and promised to care and protect us all from any harm in this life...It took me 6 months to accept his marriage proposal...I was in fear that someone might break my heart again...I even told him how sacred I am that by the time I'm going to be ready for marriage, he will change his mind...he assured me that my fears have no solid foundation...and encouraged me to look for a new beginning...we planned for the future together...we even went to pick up our engagement rings...when all of a sudden...he called off our engagement and shut me down from his life completely without any explanation.

I kept blaming my self for things that I didn't understand...played every conversation in my mind 1000 times...analyzed every word and action million times...trying to find an answer...the only conclusion that I came up with...these men were never serious...they nurtured on our weakness...lived on our vulnerability...maybe waiting for a chance to let go of our guards and commit a sin...and when things started to become serious...they ran away...like any coward

I know that it hurts badly...but unfortunately we have to face the shocking reality...I'm very thankful to God that during my darkest moments...I didn't fall for any temptations

trying not to lose hope 11 months ago

We are praying for God to bring them back to our lives...in fear that we may never have another chance again to meet someone who truly loves us unconditionally for who we are...forgetting the fact that, we may have been blessed by God's well to protect us from an ugly fate.

ali 11 months ago

anyone who is divorced and looking for better life,,, visit muslimah.com

i know most sisters want thier ex back but trust me a person who has once left you will never want u back plus what good will comeout of it?

the site has millions of people and if u dont pay other members who do pay you can talk to them,,i was with a girl my self she messed me about for 4 years ,finaly she admited it she doesnt want to marry me i was devastated but allhamdulilah soon as i joined within 3 weeks i met someone who i will be marrying shortly,,, now am confidant il be happy even if it doesnt work out there are plenty of fish in this worl.............. mariege is a contract in islam there is no foreever love esp if you both difrent side of the planet lol

i hope every one gets good family life inshaALLAH ..

MirzaZoja 11 months ago

Masha'Allah, this is good news for you that Allah gave you a second chance.

I am also from Pakistan. I too was divorced in early thirties and feared the label of divorcee after one year of marriage. I tried to keep my marriage as one does in our culture. I had got married with so much hope for my own hoome with my husband, but I was left with no choice, he was momma's boy and followed her command. I was forced into it since my ex left the country to be back with his momma. I felt my life came to an end and I prayed and prayed just like you have mentioned. My mother prayed so much for me that may Allah bring forward such a good husband for me that I forget all my past miseries.

Finally, after 2 years, I met my husband. He was Allah's blessing on me. All my and my mother's prayers came true. He was honest, bold, caring, full of humor and mature husband with whom I knew I can spend the rest of my life with in comfort of the strength that he provided me. I became the happy person I once used to be. But this time, Allah did not give him life. He passed away in just 1 and 3/4 years. He and i had dreams together for the future. My life has shaken and this time even worse than the first, since this time, I really got an extremely wonderful husband. We were just starting to properly plan for the future. Things were going fine, but everyone has stresses, he had some tremendous financial stress. Alhamdulillah, I have been helping people in need around, but I delayed in helping my own husband due to the usual couple arguments that happen in the first two years of settling in marriage, Alhamdulillah nothing major, but I delayed the help understanding the criticality due to being angry. And just during this time, his life came to a sudden end by cardiac arrest. My regrets are beyond words that I wish I had financially helped him eventhough, I know life and death have fixed timings, maybe he would have left the world a more peaceful man. I regret so much that we could not have the time to normalize our argument which genrally would nomalize in a few days, but we didnt get time. Life ended. He was just 39 and had just turned 40. Just seconds before passing away after pain started for him and cardiac arrest he called me to say Goodbye, he did not let me know what he was going through. Such was his love.

Every couple has arguments, but things normalize between them with time, unfortunately I did not get time. I pray so much that may my feelings, my message reach him that I never meant anything wrong I said to him. I am sure he know, since he loved me unconditonally.

I am again left with second tragedy in my life. I also prayed that Allah this was my second chance after hardship, I wish, I was given the opportunity for life and home with my husband for a few more years. I know complaint and questioning is haram also. I miss my husband so much, I long to be with him soon in hereafter. May Allah place him in the highest place in Jannat Al Firdaus Ameen.

Freda 11 months ago

Yes, never give up your duas and zikr to Allah, even when there seems to be no hope left. My husband left me too. But Allah answered my prayers and he came back to me after more than a year and begged to come home. Allah can change hearts. He can also replace your ex with someone better. Or maybe you will be alone in this world. But still, don't give up hope. Allah has His plan for everyone. Remember, if you are not tested in this world, how can you deserve his jannah. Everything is a test.

Rasell 11 months ago

MashAllah...

It's can be guide for others..

MirzaZoja 11 months ago

This is what everybody is saying that it can be a learning lesson for others to make things right in their own lives. But what about me ? Nothing can change my regrets towards my husband, how can I make things right for myself with the one who has already left this world. Am I a lesson for others ?

MirzaZoja 11 months ago

It was not intentional delay for my husband's help. I dont know what shaitan got into me and i delayed it.

It really hurts me being called a lesson for others, since others have the opportunity to make things right with their spouses, but I don't have my husband in this world with whom I can make things right. Am I being punished for not helping him financially ? I had true love for him in my heart. I know of people who do worse things to hurt their spouses and their lives go on and then with time things normalize. We had strong love for each other. I never meant not to help him, I knew, I would help him after our unnecessary arguments. He was not even expecting me to help him as he had so much confidence that he would manage it, but he was under tremendous pressure. Even he had dreams and desires for life with me, but Allah had HIS plans.

I pray that my message reaches my husband Insha'Allah and that I long to be with him soon.

Precious Star 11 months ago

I am very sad reading the stories on this site. While Iffirdaus had a happy ending, the reality is that most of us will NOT have that happy ending!

I have prayed for years for that happy ending. So did my mother. For years, I prayed for a nice husband and babies.

Last year I met someone wonderful but he did not want to be with me and met someone else.

I am now 40. My time for babies is running out. Will my prayers be answered? Probably not.

Dua is not magic. Dua is not Jadoo. God has written a destiny for each of us, and whatever is destined will happen. It doesn't matter how much you pray or how many times you read Sura Yasin. What will happen will happen, and unfortunately for many muslim women these days, we do not live happily ever after.

I wish sometimes I could say that we should pray for a quick death. After all everyone tells me that a nice husband is waiting for me in Jannah. How do you know that? The Quran does not say that; the Quran says that Jannah is gardens under which rivers flow. But if a husband and my babies are waiting for me in Jannah, then why can't i pray that Allah brings me there soon?

Mirzazoja 11 months ago

We desire something and Allah desires something, ONLY that happens that Allah desires. I prayed to be be able to spend my life together with my husband at least the second time I got married, but Allah had HIS own plans. This time Allah ended my husband's life in less than 2 years. I had dreams for a home and family especially with my husband and he so desired the same. But now, I am sorrowfully counting the days approaching for the second anniversary end of this month, it will be without my husband. Everyone around tells me that your unfulfilled prayers will not go to waste since Allah rewards with much more in Jannah for the prayers that are unheard in this world. I see my sister and brothers with complete families and happiness and I also prayed for the same happiness for myself. But Allah chose me to test me twice, one after the other. I do not have a desire to live on anymore and long to be with him and pray that Allah listens to my prayer. It is not being unthankful, I am scared of life without him. He told me that we will grow old together. Every morning reality hits me hard that my husband is not there anymore and I cry and pray remembering my loving husband. Even yesterday, I visited his doctor for mild flu, asking him what had happened to my husband a month before his death. I keep searching for him everywhere. It is a very helpless feeling, anywhere to take me to him.

Precious Star 11 months ago

Iffirdous: Of course I have tried the matrimonial sites. What else can I try? Everyone gives me the same advice over and over "try the websites" "speak to your elders" etc. Well, I have news for you: they don't work. My elders have told me that there is no husband for me.

Mirzazoja: Eventually with time you will hurt less. I think there is nothing wrong to pray that you are reunited with your husband. Do you live in a muslim country? If so, maybe another muslim man will come along and marry you. If not, you must find a way to live your life. Do you have a job? Try building your career. Teach little children. If you are busy all day, then you are tired at night and you can go to sleep early.

When I am in so much emotional pain, sleep is a mercy from Allah SWT.

It is true - sometimes we are tested once, twice, three times -- some of us are tested for the rest of our lives.

Not everyone has a fairy tale ending.

Iffirdous, dua solved all your problems in life. But for many of us, we have been making dua for years and years and years, and we don't have families to help us like you did.

muslimah 11 months ago

dear precious star

dont give up hope inshallah you will find a great husband. i know u heard that so many times but never give up hope in Allah. and as far as others telling you u wont find a husband ignore them they dont have that power to know. i will make lots of dua for you and inshallah all your dreams will be fulfilled. ameen

Mirzazoja 11 months ago

I wonder most of the times if this is a punishment that Allah has given me for not being able to help him on time. My regrets are beyond words, that I even dream that he is still living and I am telling him that not to worry, we will work it out together. I dont know what will life be now for me moving forward being divorced and now a widow not even in 2 years of marriage. I feel completely lost without him. He called me in pain to ask me where I am and then said, "Allah Hafiz" and did not let me know that he was in pain just the minute before he passed away. I pray so much to Allah that my husband can receive my message that I love and respect him so much. Will my message reach him ? Will he understand how I feel since he is now in a different world, a world that I am not aware of, but long to be there.

Precious Star 11 months ago

Mirzazoja: This is not a punishment. This is a test. Your husband died knowing that you loved him and he loved you. Many women don't get that opportunity. Do you know the Quran says that in Jannah we will be reunited with our families? Take heart in that, and move on.

Muslimah and Iffirdous: Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

gonewrong 11 months ago

Aslaam alaykum, im a single mother of 2daughters and am going throu a divorce with sum1 who i choose to marry but i was young naive and didnt undstnd at the tym...i went agianst my family who lata supported me and got me married....and now years later plus 2beautiful daughters later i hav met sum1 younger than me whom i have fallen in love with again i know he feels the same but fears losing his family coz of me being a divorcee so to speak and a mother of 2...my family want me2 marry my cousin bak home whom i was happy to marry but now having met this other person im thinking twice iv spoken to friends and they all r saying to not marry my cousin as i will regret it lata and im scared if i do marry him and dont show him love he will miss treat my daughters ...my family are not talking to me now...and im feeling compltly on my own although i have the support of this person i like and respect alot ....im reading my namaaz and making dua but it seems like im losing my sanity im very much of a people person and hate having to be alone..i have done wrong and commited sin which im ashamed of and beg allah SWT for forgiveness but feel as though he dont wana listen 2my dua...can ne 1 advise me plzzzzzzzzz.

Mirzazoja 11 months ago

I would only say a marriage is a blessing and nobody should try and break it off unless some really serious matters. It is a blessing and so is your husband. After what I have gone through, nothing is more is important anymore than my loving husband and one only realizes it more when he is taken back.

imran bashir 10 months ago

hello dear my sister

i am in a big problem,i am basically from pakistan come here uk for study,i am doing mba

the problem i am so bad lucky,i came here last feb,i m searching a job but luck is not with me,when weep every day and dua form ALLAH but no sucess,please you tell me any dua for sucess and you please also pray for me

thanks

your brother

imran bashir

khanam 10 months ago

aye allah jis tarah se tu her mareez ko shafa deta hai mujhe bhi sahet dede.ameen

Unknown 10 months ago

Aslaam alaykum, I want to share something with you all and need some advice. I am Pakistani and living in UK. I am basically with a guy who is from Pakistan and he is Sindhi, I’ve known him from three years and he is a family friend and since the day he saw me he is on my case. I used to speak to him as a friend but he forcefully made this friendship into a relationship. I have no feelings for him whatsoever and I have told him many times but he keep saying I am going to mess up your life, I am going to take all your happiness away and I am going to destroy your family etc etc. I am really really scared and worried and just don’t know how to get rid of him. He also tries to come near close and tries to persuade me to do haram things with him, who is out of order for me. I pray all the time and I am only 21 and these things are happening to me. He is psycho, he cuts himself for me, shower presents on me, always calling me and if I don’t answer he suspects me of cheating on him. I never ever felt for him but every time I say this he says u played with me for 3 years I am not going to spare you, you can’t do this to me, I am going to make you a human as you have no manners how to treat your loved ones. I am totally in pain and tried everything to get rid of him but nothing works. Because of him I can’t even hang out with my friends, he comes outside my door and throws stones on window. I feel really scared, I can’t even tell police or my family, as if my brother find out he will hurt the boy to bits and to be honest I don’t want to hurt him but just want him to leave me alone. I really need help people, after reading all the stories here I gained strength to write this here I hope someone can help in advising and please pray that ALLAH SWT accept my prayers and I get married to someone really nice and loving as he is always giving me baduaas by saying I’ll see how and to who you get married, if by chance a guy is good I will destroy your whole life. I am in tears right now and all I can say is O Allah please help me, as you know the best.

Unknown 10 months ago

Aslaam alaykum ifirdous, I also wanted to ask the surah and duas you prayed during your problems, can a single girl like me pray them, for instance the problems that I am having which are mentioned above, can i pray for them. JazakAllah x

abcd 10 months ago

@UNKNOWN

Assalamualaikum..i read everything u hav writen...and my advice to u is please please inform ur parents about dis as soon as posible.only dey can solve ur problm.

u dont b scared coz of dat insane guy.he cant do anything to u if ur family is suporting u.so please go ahead with confidence n tell evrything to ur elders....

hope u come out of dis problm as soon as posible....

ALLAH HAFIZ

Muslimah 10 months ago

@Unknown

Assalamu Alaykum, I agree with "abcd" you need to inform your parent/family or friend. This is a serious matter, but don't worry too much. I'm sure if you tell someone close to you and your parents your problem it will make things easier.

Please don't be scared and be brave. Allah Swt is testing us in this life to see how we react and handle the situations and calamaties in life. All the hardships that we face in our life are are blessing in disguisse And it is vital that you just turn Allah Swt as he is the All Knowing and he alone can help you.

If you are in very BAD position where you can't contact anyone including your family directly then try emailing them or ring them.

Don't be scared just keep praying and stay STRONG. Allah Swt is protecting you.

I hope your circumstances get better inshaAllah and I'll make dua for you. Please don't lose hope and don't allow shaytaan to stop you from taking the right decisions in life.

I don't know why that guy is mental, but ALlah Swt knows best.

Hope you find a solution to this problem quickly. May Allah swt help yo uand guide you. Ameen.

If you need help don't hesistate and contact me on arooj_ahmed28@hotmail.co.uk if your problem persists.

Take care and Allah Hafiz

Muslimah 10 months ago

@ imran bashir

Assalamu Alaykum,

I suspect that someone has done kala jadu on you and probably a bandish where you can't find a job.

Go on this website called "Roohani ilaj"

http://roohaniijaz.com/category/roohani-wazaaif/

And scroll down to "wazaif for job" and follow the wazifa for 21 days.

InshaAllah, I hope the bandish is removed and you get a job i'll make dua for you. May ALlah Swt help you, Ameen.

If you need assistance for anything don't hesitate to contact me on the email address I mentioned earlier which is "arooj_ahmed28@hotmail.co.uk".

And if anyone else needs assistance or has any problems don't hesitate to contact me on the email address.

I will be happy to help you.

Allah Hafiz and take care

Precious Star 10 months ago

Bashir: No one has done black magic on you. You need to work on your English and hopefully you'll be able to get a job after that.

Muslimah 10 months ago

I know that everyone experiences difficulties in life, but we need to understand the fact that Allah Swt is testing our patience. Many people chase the dunya -worldy desires, for instance money/property due to greed or a good job perhaps or even wanting to get married to a certain someone. Unfortunately, some people are too busy chasing these desires that they forget Allah swt.

If we are agonising and experiencing grief, we should turn to Allah swt alone.

If something very distressing happens in our life, we shouldn't keep chasing someone/something but we should learn that Allah Swt has soemthing better in store and Allah Swt knows whats best for us. We have to accept God’s will and continually develop our faith. Without this we fall into depression and obsession with “our loss.” But this process takes time, and time heals if we are patient with our loss. It is not “three days and it is over.” The wound is there and lingers over a long period of time. People who lose faith in God want God’s automatic compliance and if He doesn’t answer their prayers for instant relief they resort to rejecting and blaming Him for the loss.

In Islam we’re taught that it is natural to feel sorrow over a loss, whether it is a loss over a possession or a loss of a loved one. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) experienced several devastating losses in his life and he did not repress or hide his suffering from his Companions. Islam teaches that one should turn his attention to Allah (swt) and remain patient. From this, Allah (swt) will strengthen His servant to endure the loss and pain. In Islam the grieving period is prescribed for three days and excessive mourning is not permitted.

The Qur’an states, “Inna Ilahi wa inna Illahi rajinoon- from God we come and to God we return…” If we accept this there is no extended mourning period or so it is stated.

I'm 17 and in the past me and my family have experienced lots of anguish. At the age of 6/7 my step dad abused and tormented me day and night. I had bruises all over my legs and I cried every single day. He stayed in my house for two years and over this period my mum's health deteriorated day by day. Many times darkness appeared infront of her eyes and she couldn't control her actions. She used to hit us without knowing because something was controlling her. Within a few minutes she would become unconscious and wouldn't have a clue as to what occurred.

Him and his family were evil and practice sorcery.

In the past three to fours I have suffered greatly. I used to suffer from loss of appetite and I could't eat properly for a whole month. I assumed it was medical related but it wasn't.

Throughout the years, I experienced countless difficulties like inner turmoil, a mental block, depression, hair loss and preferred to be alone all the tim and was secluded. At school I had many social problems and people used to dislike me for no reason however I used to study All the time and at home didn't communicate with my family. I listened to music all the time, which was very bad. Basically, my mind was never peaceful and I was affected emotionally, mental, physically and psychologically in every manner. Despite studying all the time, I didn't accomplish or achieve as much even though I was capable. And ofcourse my iman was quite weak.

In the past two years I suffered from sleep paralysis caused by jinn attacks. Had sleeping problems and my sleeping routine is still abit dodgy.

During last summer me and my mum prayed day and night. My iman uplifted, Alahmdulilah. I felt dili sukoon in the heart and i was purified. I repented for all my past sins and bad deeds.

I used to have a step baby sister but she died in 2001. Allah knows best what is better for us.

InshaALLAH, I hope me and my family get cured from this spiritual disease. May Allah swt protect all muslims in the world and guide us towards the right path. Ameen.

And since summer 2010 all the negativity has gone away all the bad influences and people have disappeared. My life is more atable and I feel more closer to Allah Swt. i did experience some problems after that but in the past few months my faith has become more stronger and I have learnt alot. I pray read the Qur'an ALOT everyday.

I have met many religious people during this period

I understand Life is a test from ALlah Swt. We need to be strong despite our circumstances and make dua sincerely and cry out to Allah swt. Ask Allah Swt for forgiveness

Everything happens for a reason and as ifirdous stated "All the hardship’s I had gone through was nothing but a blessing in disguise." It was true and for me it is too.

InshaAllah, I hope my iman continues to increases and I become a better muslim. I know my childhood was very bad, but I hope inshaAllah my future will be brighter. I regret all the past sins that I done. Alhamdulilah I have learnt from my experiences and I will continue to learn throughout my life.

We should use our time in this life in the right way. Don't allow Shaytaan to take control of your life.

InshaAllah I attain peace in this life.

And please make dua for me and my family.

JazakhaAllah.

humayara.n 10 months ago

Assalamu alakium,

My name humayara .N,Working in IT company Bangalore am just 21 years old.But am facing lots of problems in my life. I am hurting my parents lot.Now they are not believing me.Am not getting good name infront of my parents and in my office.Am not praying properly.So many problems from third persons.Doing shaithan works.One guy loved me ,I dont knw what happen to him suddenly he is nt attending my call and nt responding for my msgs.My face is lookong too good before 6 months back,now am getting so many trouble in my face , my parents were saying go and die u dnt good character and face.I dont want to die.Allah give me a good life.I have to live myself.But i have to prove.Please duaa for me.I beg your legs.Please duaa for me.Today itself i wanna live a happy life with good face and good future.Inshallah with your duaas i will get.

fanaz 10 months ago

assalamualaikum ifirdous ur story really made me feel the pain which u went through.since few days even i am facing problems in life.i feel everything is dark n there is no life for me..so i was searching for something n i got a glance of ur life.i want advise from sisters like you who can guide me.i want to join this site.please help me. i feel lonely n need some sisters help me.

Hamba Allah 10 months ago

We ask for Him to help us but we refuse to follow His commandments. We want Allah to grant us our wishes, yet what have we done for Allah? For Islam? For our Rasul? Are we prepared to make sacrifices such as that of Sayidina Bilal? ¬ who was punished just for believing in the oneness of Allah ? Can we be like Sayidina Abu Bakar As-Siddiq? ¬ who had given all his wealth to the cause of Islam? Or like Imam Nawawi - Who had sacrificed the luxury of this world devoting himself to propogate the teaching of Islam? Are we not shameful? For asking Allah to grant us our wishes yet we do not and too lazy to abide by his commandments. There is no wrong in asking Allah's help through doa. It is encouraged. But at the same time we must seriously and wholeheartedly stay away and refrain from all that Allah forbids.

Challenges and obstacles are part and parcel of our daily life. In facing these challenges, let us make an effort to uplift our consciousness towards Allah s.w.t., abide by His rulings, perform His commandments and abstain from His prohibition.

Precious Star 10 months ago

i read all these comments and they really break my heart.

Fellow muslims, whatever is written in the Book of Decree will happen. Nothing more, nothing less. Dua does not change that. Dua is a form of worship. It is not a means of getting what you WANT.

You really must leave these superstitous notions that if you read dua night and day things will change for you. What needs to change is your outlook. You need to ACCEPT that this is Allah SWT's will for you. If you do that, you will be at peace. If you don't ACCEPT, you will continue to want, want, and want.

there is nothing wrong with doing dua. It helps your heart. But it doesn't get what you want. If you want a husband, then you will get it if Allah SWT wrote it in the Book of Decree. If it is not written, you are out of luck - I'm sorry! I am living proof that these types of duas don't work. I am 40 and I have been doing endless dua my entire life. The men who were interested in me, and then lost interest in me, they went on to meet other women and are now happily married. They did not do dua. I did. So you see?

Please, accept your Qadr. Don't buy into these fairy tales that if you read this dua 10x it will come true, or that dua 100x it will come true. Dua does not work like that.

Sajida 10 months ago

Dear Sister,

Your faith in Allah driven you into the right direction. My story is similar apart from the fact that I'd arranged marriage. The whole family was after my brothers to marry their divorced sisters. And my brothers were all married and were living in great harmony with their families. Hence after 4 years of marriage my husband divorced me. It was expected of him but still my heart ache. I'd no option but to turn to Allah the great merciful. My divorce singled me out from the whole family. No one wanted to know me, not even my mum. After a year of struggle and agony, Allah has taken the ability of bearing a child. So no marriage is possible in this situation but to wander from one website to another in search of any Supplication or Dua to help me in this great time of distress. I asked all of you to say special prayers for me before I end my life.

Precious Star 10 months ago

Sajida,

Don't end your life. Ask Allah to give you peace and contentment with what He has written for you.

I know it is hard to be without a husband and children, but many women do it. I do it. You can too! You just have to put your mind to it.

Don't cry over a man who did not care about you. If your family has refused to speak to you because you are divorced, then let them be. They are wrong - not you.

God only helps those who help themselves. If you are sitting and waiting for someone to help you, it won't happen. You need to help yourself first. Get a job. Do volunteer work. Learn a new hobby. Then, insha'Allah Allah will life your spirits and keep you busy so you don't have to think about these terrible people who have hurt you.

shamama 9 months ago

thank u sister for sharing your story i m grateful to allah to make you feel happy today may allah always be merciful on you amd your family :)

Maria84 9 months ago

Salam sajida, i agree to precious star. Dont to anything harm to urself..inshalla by the time, ur family will accept u. Just try to be u and keep urself busy with something, try to study, work ..whatever..something that keeps u busy and u dont have to sit and think of ur problem all day long. Everyone has a problem but we dont talk about it in front of everyone. Ur friends have probably some problems too, but sometimes they dont mention anything and seem so happy and we start thinking why are they so happy and not us...maybe they think the same of us ? i myself, have been crying for 3-4 years now.. i have a big problem and i feel that no one can help me, cause i see how happy my friends are..i think im the only one with problem but reading these comments, i see that im not alone, everyone has a problem or problems but inshalla by the time we will pass the problem. We have to be patient, we have to start thinking of something else, keep on praying. If our wishes dont come true, at least we are happy that we have prayed and maybe Allah will someday soon listen to our dua or allah will give us something else. I hope that everyone who has problem, their problem get solved. i feel better when i pray, i get hope.

sasta10 9 months ago

If you do dua with intention surely Allah will listen and solve any problem you have. Thanks.

Hijab al Faisal @Holy quran  9 months ago

Yes if we truly believe from heart that ALLAH will listen o us and solve our all problems then He is the one who increase our faith and stay us closer to him.

Sister 9 months ago

Dua can really change the destiny.. As Allah talla'h is great listenner and he always listen those who are on right the right path.. may all our wishes and dua Comes true as now days i am also suffering frm very bad situation but i know its not consistant it will change and ma life will move and i will get my happiness for sure.. i just pray may Allah give us strenght and bless us all Ammen Ramazan mubarak to all remember me in your prayers. one of ur sister..

Anoymous 9 months ago

Slms my muslim brothers and sisters in Islam

i went through the exact same thing ifirdous. I am from South Africa Cape Town. I recently got divorced from my husband. I embraced islam in April 2008 and got married in August 2008 and got divorced about a year ago.

Allah does know best and everything does happen for a reason. If I didnt ask for my talaaq's I would have been dead right now. My x Husband abused me. so alhamdulilah I am save and shukr to allah for guiding me.

Ramadan Kareem to all muslims.

ALLAH, on this day, take me closer towards Your pleasure, keep me away from Your anger and punishment, grant me the opportunity to recite Your verses (of the Qur'an), by Your mercy, O the most Merciful.

All of use will be in my prayers

Maryam 9 months ago

PRAYER REQUEST:

dear brothers and sisters AOA

Who ever is reading this post, I (maryam) have a request, im having some problem and i badly need prayers for my dua to be fulfilled,i can not share the problem here but all of u take my name in ur every prayer and make dua for me that Allah solves my problem soon inshallah, u never know whos dua might work for me,please pray for me sincerly and leave a reply here who does. thanks rememebr me in EVERY prayer.(pls forward this) may Allah grant u its reward. good night

Tanveer 9 months ago

Hii.. Thanx for sharing ur story with us. because i am also suffering the pain lil bitt like as your. while i read your story i was crying during it.thank for duas and tazbih. how do you do lots of pray in whole day. I am not getting time for this all as i have a job. and job is very important for me. otherwise my fiance will not get marry with me without job. then also ill try to get time for this. Please do dua for me that every thing will be ok with me in my future. thank you so much.

maria84 9 months ago

salam alejkom mariam! i will of course pray for u inshalla. plz pray for me too. i have not written my real name here but just pray for me, allah know who i am. thanks

me786 9 months ago

Asalamwalaikum brothers and sisters.

I have been reading this blog and found that its not only me who is suffering. INSHALLAH ALLAH listens to our prayers. I want you to please help me.

I know this guy for few years now and we both want to get married to each other. the problem with his family is that they rejects me because i am over weight . they do not see me the person i am . he loves me and trying to fight but there is no progress. i have faught with my family over him but nothing has happened since.

please help me what i should be reading so his family accepts me . there is no one to support both of us.

arjun 9 months ago

allah i need you'r help please allah help me show me the way. i'm loving one girl so much since 8 years. we both good friends from our 10th class she also loving me so much. we both loving each other's like mad's. but suddenly her home. fixed her marry now realy saffering we both more god realy we can't leave leave each other leaving even one day also. but bcz of her parents happy we both suffering so much pain allah.i to don't want create any problems her and her family thats wy suffering my self so muc pain without express with her.i want her happy forever bcz of her happy how muvh pain also no problem me suffering. but please allah u keer her happy forever.she want forget me and be happy all forever keep her happy.she want be happy allah. please help us god

arjun  9 months ago

help me allah help me god show me the way you know all my problems please show me the way god.i'm beliving you so much. allah show me way god..

21d 9 months ago

when i saw this article my heart was filled with tears as im also goin through a very tough time and i have no idea wat to do .......i fell in love for the first time with this guy and that was on chat we talked for few months and we were completly in love i never saw him and he never saw me after few months we got seperated becuz of virios reason i begged him to come back but he said he cant as he has a huge reponsibility of his family at the same time i am enagaged with this guy who is from my family since i was a kid and i never liked that guy but he loves me alot but for some reason i cant force myself to like him everyone is forcing me to marry him but i love someone else this year has soo far been the worst year for i have faced alot of difficulties and dont knw wat to do i started praying alot and started to ask for Allah's help but i dnt see anything im just left miserable and confused please pray for my bright future :

hamza 9 months ago

asalama alaaykum brothers and sisters reading this. I wanted to share with you my story. Approximatelty one year and half ago i was accused of horrible crime thatr i truly had nothing to do with. The store clerk ho had been robbed had passd my name to police saying she thought it was me. Th next day i was arrested and charged with soe vfery serious crimes and allegations. And until today i am waiting to see whatr will come of this nonsense. I hve a trial coming up in a month and inshallah i am asking allah o help me in this very dfficult time. I am a post secondary graduate and have never been involved with police or authorities previously. I dontknow where i went wrong to have such a thing happen to me but my father tells me to say alhamduillah everyday because Allah SWT had this written for me well before i was born. If anone has advice like specific dua's or wrds of wisdom and encouragement i would greatly appreciate it inshallah.

syeda farha anjum 9 months ago

askm.plz aap meri help kare my mere bade aba k ladke k bahut chahati ho.aur ladka b muje bahut chahata hai.ladke k parents mere ghar rishta lekar aye lykin mere parents nahi man rahe haiaur agar hamari shadi nahi hoe to hum dono pagal hojayenge aur hamari badnamgi hogiplz kuch duwa ya wazifa ho to bataye

Nasra 8 months ago

Mashallah brothers and sisters i heard this story about this Muslim girl getting divorced that she nagged to Allah but she wanted to loved her ex husband feeling this her mum brought her gift dua so she had many worries and so to tell this of my own story changed a bit i love making stroys but just imagine on my side this girl at end she found a better husband and had three Beautiful kids as it was real

MuslimGirl 8 months ago

Asalamu'alaikum Ifirdous

Masha'Allah what a bueatiful story It has opened my eyes and i feel so happy for you Masha'Allah.

Ifirdous your childern are so lovely masha'Allah.

I would like to share my story, I am twenty eight years old i have been married for two years and one month Masha'Allah. I chose my own choice i married him because i wanted to settle down and Insha'Allah start a life with my husband. Two years ago i was happy and my life was good but now i see my life it has not changed ever since i have been married, i dont feel that happy smily churpy girl anymore.

My situation right now is my husband does not have a visa to live with me, i have to work or have a child to sponser my husband, the rules are the rules. My current ability to work is very limited due to my condition causing me to have regular pain in one foot if i stand for long. Now i simply am finding it hard to find work its been two years! Now childwise im finding it hard to conceive either, my husband visits me from abroad and i am going through all these fertilty tests to see wats wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with me Masha'Allah everything is normal. I love childern Allah SWT knows i love childern it hurts me everyday why cant Allah SWT grant me healthy childern.

So here i am stuck in a huddle with all this mess and not moving forward with my life, i cry to Allah SWT that why isnt my voice being heard i know he is listening to me but why is it taking so long for my life to be fixed. My tears dont stop rolling down my cheeks doesnt Allah SWT see me hurting am begging for help 'Ya Allah if your listening please please help me' i say this all the time.

I want to move forward i want a happy future, Most of all i cry for childern. :'(

I am asking for help what duas do i pray to help me conceive? What duas could i pray to find work and help my husband? What can i pray to move forward and have a happy future? Please help ifurdous or any muslim brother or sister.

Jazakalaah and Wasallam.

Batool 8 months ago

Asalamu'alaikum Ifirdous

I have been married three year. i have lovely son. But my husband dont love me nor care about me. He donot support me in his family. he even wants that i do not go to my mother house. I dont have my father. We are three sister and one brother. our mother brought up with very difficulty.plz ifirdouse & brother& sister pray for me. plz pray that i got the job for my survival. Any Dua plz

plz always remember me in your dua.

your sister

Alaha hafiz

Emma 8 months ago

Salam Sisters and brothers

I am also a person who suffered considerable amout of pain, loss and sorrow. I would like to add a couple things for the benefit of those who are still in difficult situation. In addition to reciting the Quaran, please also listen to guided meditation in order to re build your self esteem, self worth and fill your heart and mind with positive thoughts. There are plenty of free meditation available online. This is because when someone who supposed to cheerish you and protect you from all evil turns out to be an abuser then you may feel that you are not worthy of anyone's respect, love and affection. If you leanr again to love your self and ask Allah to guide you, sustain you and give the courage to face the world and your abuser without losing self respect and calmness, things will get better (insha Allah). Especially sister BATOOL do not in anyway indicate to your husband that your happiness depends on him or his love for you. Please learn to Love yourself be happy with yourself, it might change your husband. Ask Allah to help you and we all shall pray for each other. There is an organisation which helps people to learn to be positive and happy with themselves, it is called Brahma Kumaris.Their courses are completely free.

May Allah grant us all good health, peace, happiness and success and protect us from laziness, carelessness,cowardise and the tyrrany of man. Ameen

Emma 8 months ago

Quick note for sister MUSLIM GIRL

Your husband can get a visa if a relative of yours can sponsor him, provided they got sufficient income to financially provide for him until he gets a job. Alternatively if your husband gets a genuine job offer from this country than he can get the visa to join you as well. please ask a lawyer

BATOOL 8 months ago

Asalamu'alaikum

TO SISTER EMMA. THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE. BUT HOW CAN I BE HAPPY. FOR EVERY SMALL NEED I HAVE TO DEPEND UPON HIM. HE DOESN'T GIVE ME ANY MONEY FOR MY PERSONAL NEED. I DONT HAVE ANY JOB. PLZ SISTER PRAY TO ALLAH (SWT)THAT I GET THE JOB. HE EVEN WANTS THAT I DO NOT GO TO MY MOTHER HOUSE. HOW CAN I LEAVE MY MOTHER. NOBODY IS THERE FOR HER WITHOUT US. AS WE DONOT HAVE OUR FATHER. HE ALWAYS INSULT ME IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY MEMBER. I AM VERY DIPREES. BUT I HAVE FAITH IN MY ALMIGHTY ALLAH THAT EVERY THING WILL BE OK. PLZ SISTER ALWAYS REMEMBER ME IN YOUR DUA. AS I NEED IT. PLZ IF YOU OR ANY BROTHER & SISTER KNOWS ANY DUA TO READ THAT I GET JOB, MY HUSBAND STARTING LOVING ME AND CARING ME.

ALLAH HAFIZ.

Emma 8 months ago

Salam sisters

Dear sister BATOOL I pray to Allah that you get the job and may Allah help you, your mother and you child. I was in similar situation not so long ago, I also lost my father when I was 17 and like you I do not have anyone to protect me from any abuse, except for Allah. I hope experience will benefit and thats why I am writing this.

My husband married me for love, but for most part of my relationship with him all I got was psychological abuse, trying to make me feel unworthy. He indicated that I do not have the same right as anyone else, girls who have loving parents and relations deserve love and respect, not someone like me who doesnt have much of a family. I tried to be the wife he wanted me to be, for a while my life was all about pleasing him. I graduated with a good law degree( which I paid for with my own money) and I had high hopes to do well career wise, but he became my world and I sacreficed my career in order to stay at home and cook for him. After a year and a half we got a baby and soon afetrwards I got pregnant again. He wanted me to abort the baby because according to him the relationship was not going well.I became depressed and started to think very negatively about my pregnancy, I wished harm on my unborn baby. When I went for my first scan,the Dr. told me my baby was dying dew to some serious complecations. I was devostated, had to terminate the pregnancy at 13 weeks. The hospital offered me spiritual help, gave a burial to my baby at their expense and offered me emotional support. My husband seemed glad that the baby was gone and did not have a single word of sympathy for me. I suffred severe depression. Then I decided I was not going to live my life for this man whom I considered unworthy of me in everyway. I begum to pull myself together, did not and still do not care about his love for me. I joined a Positive Thinking Course with Brahma Kumaris, who tought me how to love myself again and also tought me that in my life I matter the most and my happiness does not depend on anyone else. They say do not react to the other person who is trying to cause you pain, just say to urself, I know my true value and all I need is the love of God (Allah). Ask Him for everything and He, being ur creator cannot ignore ur prayer. Surely He loves you.

Dear sister it may not sound much at first, but the teaching has brought me my freedom. I am still with my husband and he is much nicer to me now and gives me money when I need it. The steps I took are as follows:

1. Emotionally detached myself from my family, wealth and world, children and even my body. I begum to accept that I am not my body but a Soul or Ruh, which has come from Allah for a limited period of time and will return to Him. I said or listen to thses words in guided meditation.

2. I said to myself in meditation that I am a peaceful soul and I love myself and respect myself and I am free from all problems. When I came into this world I was free and now found my freedom again. And because I am free I have no fear.I take a few moment everyday and say all thses good things and try to be happy for what I have got, e.g. good health and healthy baby and my freedom. These positive thoughts create an uplifting energy field around me and I have noticed that people are more nicer, eager to help and friendly towards me. Now because I have no fear of losing anything I am happier. I sleep better and ready to return to work.

3. I try to pray 5 times and talk to Allah about my problem in my own language. U do not need any specific dua sister, just talk to Allah about your problem and ask Allah to guide you and provide solutions to your problem and grant you happiness, strenght and courage.

Allah do not forget his creation.

Tell ur husband that it is his duty to provide for you, and honour you. Our prophet (peace be upon him) said a man should not marry if he doesnt have the means to provide for his wife. If he still humiliate you in front of his family,do not react, only respond calmly. U need a clear head and for that if you can listen to meditation on Brahma Kumaris website or online, u will be able bring the problem under ur control. First you gain control over ur own emotion and thoughts and u will see everything will be fine.

There is book called the "Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Read it if you can. If you can master your own emotion you will be able to find easy solution to most problem. We cannot change the other person but we can change ourselves sister.

May Allah protect you and grant u unlited hapiness and peace.

Bye for now

BATOOL 8 months ago

Asalamu'alaikum

DEAR SISTER EMMA. THANKS FOR YOUR MORAL SUPPORT. ALMIGHTY ALLAH BLEES YOU WITH HAPPINESS. ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND YOUR ADVICE. PLZ REMEMBER ME & MY MOTHER IN YOUR DUA. PLZ PRAY FOR ME THAT I DONOT DEPEND ON ANYBODY ACCEPT ALLAH. PLZ KEEP ON PRAYING FOR MY JOB IN YOUR DUA. I ALWAYS REMEMBER MY SISTER EMMA IN MY DUA. ARE YOU FROM WHICH COUNTRY. EID MUBARK TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY. ALWAYS REMEMBER ME IN YOUR DUA AND KEEP ON WRITTING TO ME AS I NEED SOMEBODY MORAL SUPPORT.

ALLAH HAFIZ

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Sister Batool

Eid Mubarak, hope you and your family have a fantastic time together.

If you need my moral support just drop me a line. We all need support from others sometimes, thats life. I am from the UK, live in London. Where are you from? Thanks for remembering me in your prayers and I am praying for you and your mother. Take care of yourself sister.

Abdul Abba 8 months ago

Masha Allah, we have to be thnkful to Allah at al the course, pls pray for me, im in a situation tht cn not be telled here, im crying so much and i pray to allah every day........

AMITABH SINGH 8 months ago

HI I AM 19 YEARS POOR BOY LOOKING FOR ANY JOB MY MOB NO.-08804725023

Nabi 8 months ago

Hi, I read ur story and I am so sorry for ur past and so happy for ur current life, finally ur prayers were paid off. Actually I just typed something to find my dream girl and came across ur post.

May Allah give u more happiness and keep u happy for and and after that

Nabi 8 months ago

Plz pray for me to find her, I don't know how she looks, where she lives, what she dose or who she is but one thing is for sure that I will love her like no husband has ever loved his wife before, and all I would want in return is respect.

Plz pray for me to find her

Thanks

aftab 8 months ago

sallam

even though i am a guy i can really understand u . i been going through this same problem or same sort of problems .i even had a child without marriage but my parents still wont let me or trying there best to mk sure i dont get married to her all desi talks my mom gives me . i know they are right and looking for my best interest but somehow i cnt stop thinking of my child what kind of life she will have if i am nt around and will i be able to forgive myself for that and how would i face her later on in my life . and how do i even will get setteled from sm one from pakistan and y would this girl suffer bcs of me . thinking abt all these stuff made me crazy litterally crazy ,every time sm one speaks to me abt all these issues and i start thinking abt it in couple of hours i hv to go to the hospital or er . even my health is getting worst i been loosing lot of weight and been trying to stay out of the house as late as i cn so when i cm home evryone is sleeping and i cnt fall sleep at night maybe for only couple of hours and get bk to start thinking all over again .

I need help and dnt know here to get help , everytime i leave the er and they do all the tests on me and cnt nvr find out whats wrong with me . and gv me sm pills that i nvr take just waste of money . now i know that when ppl said money cnt bring happiness i used to joke around and say money does jst in a joking way but i am very succesfull in my early life but i know pretty soon i will loose that too bcs of my mind conditions , and at the same time i cnt c my parents suffer frm it too bcs of my stupid mistakes .but i guess allah put me here in the middle of families and i cnt make n dicession or dnt hv the strength to mk n decession .

but all this sisution ie relly taking a big toll on my health and thats what i am worried abt the most i was a really healthy guy b4 this and now i am a mental patience

so if anyone is reading and gv me suggestion i would appericate it bcs in our family its very hard to discuss feeling

Emma 8 months ago

To Aftab

I think u should follow ur heart. Ur child needs you,u brought her into this world now u cannot abandon her, talk to ur parents. Having a child outside marriage is bad but to abandon the child is even worse. There are a lot of desi girls who cannot stand their in-laws. So having a desi girl is no guarantee for happiness. Suppose u marry soemone whom ur parents like, what u if can never love her?

Aftab 8 months ago

Dear Emma

Thanks for the reply u dont know how many times i referesh the page on my iphone to c if sm one replied .just looking at the reply kind of made me in a better mood .After geting into a argument with my parents again this morning again only thing i did was search online and posted my problems and left from work to a lake house that we have so i can atleast go and relax in peace .

well i really appericate ur responce but its nt like my parents are willing to except her she is a muslim girl too but nt from pakistan by having a child with me they thing that she is a really bad person and that if i married her i will suffer later on in life but when i bring the child up that what she is going to think when she is older abt me and that her dad who had everything in life but couldnt take care of her that would keep me depress for the rest of my life . And i am nt even considering abt marrying sm one from pakistan bcs she will get treated bad from me jst bcs i will be taking my parents anger out on her and she or this poor girl had nothing to do with n thing and i will ruin sm one elses life in the middle of my crazy life .

The funny thing is my mom always tell me this is america and the mother keeps the child so u dnt worry abt that those words kill me inside whenever she says that i love my parents but no one is making simple for me to mk decession .

Again thanks a lot Dear Emma i really appericated ur responce and md me felt like there are ppl that care

even if it is sm stranger .

Aftab 8 months ago

sallam

Yes i been thinking abt that but have no clue how do i go abt doing nikkah .bcs in this city everyone knows us and it wont look good especially my parents not being there and then they will think i insulated them on purpose .

You know what we need is good desi muslim counceling i think there is a big need for that all around the world and at the same time it helps to heel from a outsider .

as i am sitting at our lake house my mother called me worrying abt that i left work early today and if i was allright ,thats the only person cares still abt me and my health dnt understand how to disobey her bcs i really love my mom a lot .

and no one else in my family even cared that i was missing in action all day today .What a world

Batool 8 months ago

Aslamlakum

Dear sister Emma. How are you,hope fine. May ALMIGHTY ALLAH

bless you with happiness. thanks for remembering me and my mother in your prayer. plz keep on praying as i am in very difficult situation. Take care

Allah hafiz

Batool 8 months ago

DEAR SISTER EMMA. I AM FROM INDIA.

Aji 8 months ago

Assalamu alaikum , ifirdous hope ur fine... can i have ur mail id plzz

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Aftab

Well you have sister Ifirdous and my support. U should not tear urself up in this manner. Ur mother is saying this girl is bad beacuse she had a child with you outside marriage. Well think about it for a moment, does it not also make you bad too, after all u r the father of the child? Please do not argue with your parents, but I think you should tell ur mum calmly that u happened to be the person with whom she committed this bad action and it is now ur duty (Farz) to marry this girl and uphold her honour. Beg ur parents to come to the nickah, however, if they refuse just go to a mosque and perform nickah. After nickah mantain a low profile for a while, u will see ur parents will eventaully accept both the moether and the child. A lot of my cousins married non muslim girls(converted them to Islam), initially their parents were very upset and disowned them, but within a year or two they accepted them.

Sometimes in life we have to make tough decisions and its ur call. A parent should not abandon his child no matter where in the world they live.

From ur writing I can tell u love ur girlfriend too. May Allah grant u courage and endurance to justly deal with the sitaution.

Aji 8 months ago

plz tell me dua for studying & memory

Emma 8 months ago

Dear sister Batool

Salam

I am fine and thanks for remembering me in ur prayers. Do not worry sister just pray, try and have hopes and everything will be ok(iA).

Keep in touch sister. May Allah protect u and ur mum from all evil and grant u and ur family peace and happiness.

Aftab 8 months ago

Dear Emma

Thanks for writing bk . You n ifirdous are really helpful u dnt understand how good it feels we u cn talk to sm one abt ur problems and the advice u get .

Yes I do love this girl n she is already muslim Jst nt from Pakistan . I thought my parents would like that I actually picked a Muslim girl but guess nt our culture is messed up nt that I am saying I am perfect . Too mch worrying abt status n other ppl what they going to think . Actually my child's mother is very strong she told me that ur parents will nvr let u get married to her . So she moved away couple of hours from all the embracement .

Hey but enough of my problems I will try to stay positive but u girls keep up the good work .

It's really helpful more then u think .

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Aftab

I am sorry 4 being too intrusive. Please do not stop writing bcos of this.

I think u r a very intelliegnt man and u will find your way to peace and happiness.

Aftab 8 months ago

Dear Emma

No I won't stop writing I feel like a writer now :) little update on my status family is nt helping at all I just left from my house n Jst got my brain eaten from my mom , no they threaten me that if I dnt listen to them they will nt gv me n part of our family business . But they forgot one of the company we own I am 50% partner legally I just left n told my mom this is nt Pakistan n that we lived in USA all of our life n things will not go down as they wish on every ascept Bcs that business I really worked hard From Lst 10 years n it's doing really good now . But now that since I left the house feel so bad that I argued with my mother n now that mks my blood pressure go up n now I am just keep driving around don't feel likedoing n thing . Hate this feeling .

MuslimGirl 8 months ago

Salaams Emma thankyou for ur message i understand what your saying but the solicitor im with wouldve mentioned that but he hasnt but how is a relative of mine going to sponsor my husband i dont have a good supportive family and asking them for help i wish i could. Nowadays every job in the uk ask for proof of a right to work. Thanku for the advice though. I am praying everyday i am finding it difficult conceiving too i will seek Allah SWT help because nobody can help me except him alone Insha'Allah.

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Aftab

U are not a bad writer at all.

Take a vacation from all this hassel, be entirely with urself and ask urself what u really want. U will get the answer.

With regards to ur comapany if u legally own 50 percent of it than ur family cannot deny your rights. However, sometimes people who are in control of running it can transfer the asset from one conmapy to another. Ur family probably wouldn't do such a thing, they r just saying it bcos they r also in pain. Keep us updated and take care.

Emma 8 months ago

Dear MuslimGirl

This is how it works. When ur husband will apply to join u for settlement, he will b entitled to work legally. If u find a job for him here, which he will start when he gets here, that will do. U will need a job offer letter. U dont have to have a baby in order for ur husband to get visa. Thirdparty sponsorship is legally acceptable, they stopped it for a while b4. If ur solicitor hasnt mentioned that than they r not doing a good job.

painful heart 8 months ago

salam sis, I am in need of ALLAH'S HELP. he gave me two wonderful boys (TWINS) THEN HE TOOK ONE AWAY AGAIN. I cannot believe that my son is dead. MY OTHER SON IN HOSPITAL PLS MAKE DUA FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. THIS PAIN IS UNBEARABLE. i need him to answer all my dua. my eyes hurt so bad from crying.

anika 8 months ago

salaam. I am moved by your story and how you had the strength to move on. it is the power of Allah that is divine and this story just anchors the power of Allah. I am too going through a rough time in the early stages of my marriage. I got married in Pakistan which was for my mum and dad's choice. I did not mind as I thought my mum and dad know best for me however my whole family in England were against it. therefore I spent time getting to know him. therefore we had just an nikah and I flew back to England. however once back i heard many things about my husband and his behaviour, it turned out that he has drank alchol, smoked weed and been with numerous girls and some who are close to me and therefore questioned him. he told me the truth and said that he did not want to tell me as he knew i would not get married to him. this of course drew out angry emotions and resulted in me becoming hostile towards him. he then threaten to divorce me as i were not listening to him. i told my family but they have not even asked him if this is true and therefore i have stop speaking to everyone i am all alone. his sister is married to my brother and therefore i believe that my family will never do anything. im really stuck on what to do i do not want to be married to him any more as the marriage is based on lies and i believe that he got married to me for the well-being of his sister and not because he has any feelings for me.

Emma 8 months ago

To Painful heart

I pray to Allah that ur son gets better.

painful heart 8 months ago

AMIN YA ALLAHU!Thank u sister emma.

Mohammad Aman 8 months ago

My sister got divorced this Jan. I dont mean to hurt you but I feel like the story written above is fake. You know, I have seen my sister's divorce. She wasn't upset for one single day. It took her months to come back to her original state.

Emma 8 months ago

If a man can divorce his wife just like that and moves on, I cannot see why should the woman have to stay stuck to her past.

WOMEN who move on and seek happiness (sooner the better) deserve a lot of credit and respect.

sana 8 months ago

thanks a lot..i have learned a lott..subhanallah!

Unknown 8 months ago

To get caught up inda life, inda luv of da life is to loose yourself from da reality of life. People go through life every day, they wake up every day and do day to day things. Days go by, months go by, years go by, a whole life time goes by without realisin it. Caught up tryin to maintain a good livin. Chasin da money to feed or to get rich.

Sit back and relax, analyze your suroundings, people around you. Look deep inside yaself and reflect. look at the life around you and you'll come to realise the reality. That there is something greater than one could imagine, Tha One, Allah (GOD).

All my life and i realy mean all my life. Since the day i was born i've been going through hardship. Problem after problem but as i grew older those problems were normal to me. Nothing affected me. Seein my motha nearly get killed infront of me didnt affect me. so growin older as i started goin out and enjoying life, all i cared about was havin fun, females and money. On my 16 birthday i went to visit my grandmotha and aunti in France and learnt something unimaginable.

I saw them living so rough and torn up inside that i didnt know wat was hapening. My mind tryed to look past it and make me feel like i had inda past. Tryin not to let it affect me mentaly and emotionaly. Anyway i don what i could to help but i had to leave to come back home here inda U.K.

Tha first day i arrived back in my neighbourhood i got into a fight with one of my friends. After that, problems after problems kept occuring. I stayed alone and listend to music loosing myself deep inda melody and smoking weed and if i went out i went out alone walking long distances. Contemplating and running a million thoughts in my mind. I got caught up in a court case for robbery. A robbery that i didnt commit,but somehow my phone fell out at the crime scene,thats how i got caught up in it.

"The world around me seemed dark and unfriendly. I felt like there is nothing to look forward to. I always felt like crying, and sometimes the tears were hard to stop. I was experiencing unusual aches and pains, had persistent negative thoughts, had difficulty concentrating and I was sensing guilt and worthlessness and had become very pessimistic and my future looked blank." (This quote is from the woman who wrote the first blog 'How dua solved all my problems and changed my life') This is exactly how i felt at that time but i never thought to write about it or tell anybody about it. However i suddenly came across this page and saw the first blog and after readin wat had happen to the sista a tear droped from my eye and made me write my little story.

However throughout my life i hav had undoubtable belief in God, in Allah, So i always did turn to him but not properly. So through this hard time i would pray to God but at the same time i would be smoking weed.I used to smoke weed and shed tears whilst listening to deep music Thinking about Allah.I smoked so much that i started loosing a lot of weight. I come to realise later that i would of become anarexic if i continued, astakhfirullah.

The thing that made me become this way was what i learnt whilst visiting my grandmotha in France and all of the past mad things i'v been through and witnessed. What i found out was that since i was a young boy certain people who hav had hate and jelousy against my family used juju on all of us so my fam would fall apart and individualy we all destroy ourselves. But i never believed in juju (Black magic). If i wer to hear someone talk of it i would ignore them or tell them to take it elsewhere. BUT when it hapens to you it becomes a whole different story.

So at night i would feel unknown fellings and aches in my body getting attacked by jinns. My mind would be lost and all i did was smoke and remenisce.

As time went by i prayd to God to show me something i could do to stop all dis and one day i met a man who spoke to me and happend to be a muslim. He spoke to me about life,juju and all those things and taught me how to do Istikhara.

I tryed it but didnt get a response, so i tryed again about three times. One night in my dream i saw everything that happend regarding the juju on my family and found out who it was that was behind it.

But i didnt go looking for them in revenge i kept myself focused and prayed. But a few weeks later i got caught up inda same things i did before, smoking and all that.

Time flew by around six months doing the same things, my court hearing for the case i got caught up in was due in a few days. I got sentenced 2 years do 1 in prison. I was nearly about to get 7 but i only got charged as a youngster. (One of the mercy Allah bestowed upon me)

The first day in. In prison.

My mind became clear again i thought straight and my imaan was at a great level for some reason. I sat down and wrote a long letter to my motha about how i felt and i how much i appreciate her. a month later i got myslef a single cell. And from that very moment i stepd in the cell i done my wudu and prayed my salah and kept prayin all my salahs.

However one day i took a step out of my cell door after wen the officer unlocked it for an hours social time. As soon as i steped out the door i do not remember to this day wat had happend. I only know from what people told me. I got told that i went to the shower room and got in an argument with an inmate and intimidated him then left the shower room. As i left,the inmate followed me and confronted me, so we came face to face as if we are about to fight and due to me intimidating him he turned back and started to walk away. But as i let my guard down he took his chance and hit me across the face and droped me down to the floor unconciouse. ( Remember i do and did not recall this) I then woke up in my cell sitting on my bed smoking my last cigarette.

This is how i know for sure that something had come over me because i do not recall doing any of this except for waking up in my cell smoking a cigarette.

As i gained conciousness all i had in my mind was to get up and do my salah but as i got up my head started pounding and i wondered wat happend. So i called out to an offer and he told me that i got into a fight and got knocked out. I was shocked and couldnt believe it, a million questions were running through my mind but my head started hurting more so i fell asleep.

The next day i continued to do my salahs but i was itching to know what was going on. so i called the man that i met that one night. He told me that this was another test from Allah to see wether i would turn my back on Allah thinking why would Allah do such a thing even after i am following the straight path and trying hard to be a true muslim not a muslim by name. And everything that happens even the smallest thing happens only by the leave of Allah, The permision of Allah.

So even though it was juju that had a strong affect on me that day wen i wasnt the one controlling myself it was only possible because Allah let it happen. A test from Allah.

I then kept myself focused and not let things get to my head, like people laughin because i got 'knocked out'.

I knew that this is a test from Allah. This compared to the tests the Past Prophets went through including the Prophet Muhammad SAW is nothing. As a result my imaan grew stronger.

As my release date came closer i got eager to come home back to my mother.BUT Allah had aother test for me. what happend was that immigration sent me a notice stating that i am to be deported back to France as i am a French national not a british national. But i didint let it get to me, as the video above on this page, a man says that Allah knows wat we know not, he delays things for us so we grow closer to him etc.

So past my release date i then got shipped out to another jail, a jail that has more facilities for imigration problems. There i met a man, he was 40 years old but didnt look it. Anyway i only got to know him for three days, and it was ramadan time 2011. This man had converted to Islam in his 20's but then lost a bit of faith and got caught up back inda life again. So i spoke to him about things that i learnt about Islam through my time in jail

Unknown 8 months ago

, i gave him books to read and tryed to get him back in da reality of life. After hearing what i had to say and the stories i spoke about and small quotes from the Prophet Muhammad SAW.

And one in particular is as follows.. 'the reason why Allah Blocks peoples heart from reality after they have regected the reality. Making them deaf, dumb and blind is because if even for a moment Allah lets them turn around and ask for forgivness, Allah will forgive them. But Allah is never unjust so he Blocks unbelievers and wrongdoers hearts to make sure to punish them for the bad deeds they've done.' After hearing this the man felt so lifted in spirit and so happy and joyfull in the rememberance of Allah that he got right back on his deen and started praying his salahs and reading the Qur'an.

The next day he came to my cell and we spoke until we were about to get locked up in our different cells again.Right before we got locked up He said to me that its funny that he met me because in the past he came across a number of people who have had immigration problems and after spending time with him they get released and the immigration agency leave them alone. Two hours after our conversation i got told by an officer that i am being released. On that same day.

Today i am at home enjoying the bounties that Allah has blessed me with. I am stronger than ever in Imaan, metally, emotionally and physically. My mind is at peace and open wide and i have understanding of the reality of life. I am not caught up in the love of the life. I appreciate every little thing from the carpet in my room to the people around me. And through out this past experience in jail ( note that i have been in jail for a year for something i am innocent of. Believe it or not.) I have left with life long friends. So in conclusion i would'nt change a thing in my life because i know what most people my age and older do not know and will not probably know in a life time. All thanks to Allah.

So people please do not get caught up inda luv of dis life. Dis life is but fun and games. Ultimately a test. We have to pass this test and work towards achieving the ultimate triumph.. Jannah.

God has given us the abillity to think, to see, to smell, to feel, to hear, to taste and on top of all that he gave us this land we live in, the house we live, the family we got, friends, different varieties of food, fruits and countless more and on top of that! Allah wants us to go to Heavan, Jannah.

I have alot to say and share with the world but i am not sure how the world would react to my stories, I am only 19 years old but i have a mind to lead a nation. I may sound like i am big headed but in reality i am one of the most humble you would ever meet but people take kindness for weakness so i don't let my guard down to anyone. And i dont usualy do this, i mean share with people especialy on the net but after reading the first blog about the sista dat went through that divorce and reading a few others i for some reason started writing before i knew it. I've spent alot of time writting the above and i hope Inshallah someone finds my story to be truthfull, and that it helps you to be stronger in faith. That it may touch people.

Much appreciated.

1 Man, 1 God, 1 Luv

"I pray for you, like you pray for me,

Dat one day we both be up in Heavan g." Inshallah.

Emma 8 months ago

Unknown brother

Ur story is quite inspiring. U discovered faith through hardship and trial, may Allah keeps u and all of us on the straight path.

U did not mention what happened to black magic? R u still under the influence of it or has it been cured as you are redaing the Quran a lot? I have been told that people have done black magic on my husband and possibly on me but I have done nothing about it. But I have been happier since I started to perform my salah.

keerthi 8 months ago

hi i have a problem will my problem rectify?if i pray deep with allah my sleep has went away ?my studies has gone away?.plz give me a solution...

Unknown 8 months ago

Salaam Alaykum.

Yes unfortunately the juju is still around but i am not affected like i used to be. Since bein away from it all wen i was incarcerated, the physical affect and mental affect is not at all that strong.

And im not goin to lie but since i hav been back i hav not read the qur'an as much as i used to.

Its funny because the night before the last i experienced something unusual as if i was attacked, but for about a minute i couldnt move and i felt a feeling like electricity was running through my body and as soon as i said A'uzu billahi minashaytanirajiim Bissmillahirahmanirahiim (I seek refuge from Allah from the outcast Satan. In the name of Allah, Most gracious, most merciful.) The feeling went away and i woke up in an awkward position, then kept reciting Ayat Al-Kursi and fell asleep.

I say its funny is because everytime i slip up (Get sidetracked from reality) Allah does something or gives me a predicament as a reminder to keep me on the straight path.

However i am not a learned man in islam like i should be. I beleive that all men and women should try to get themselves so deep in islam and increase their knowledge so that life is not a trick anymore. Life becomes a game to be playd. A test to pass and a beutiful experience to go through.

So even though i may have alot of knowledge i like to say to myself that i do not. So that i push myself harder to know more. The brain is a powerful thing and we choose to live and go through life in our comfort zone. Islam teaches you to widen your knowledge and to restrain yourselves, control yourselves and to disciplin yourselves. That is doing what you may not want to do. Doin things outside of your comfort zone.

People find themselves lazy and not wanting to perform their salah. There are 5 daily prayers to perform during each day. If you think about it, the times of the prayers are sectioned perfectly. Fajar(Dawn prayer), Zohar (Midday), Asar (afternoon), Maghrib(Evening/ sunset) and Isha (Night). God has given you 24hours a day, 7 days a week, 30-31 days a month and 365 days a year. Not ONCE do people spend their time thinking about Allah, thanking Allah for this life. Even for us to bow down and bend our knees to perform the salah is by the mercy of Allah.

I may of gone off the topic but why i say this is because if you understand the above than you would get to understand that by performing salah you get closer to Allah and at the same time get protected by the angels of Allah. Keeping Yourself in a state of wadu is like having a sheild around you. So even if juju was done upon you you wouldnt be affect. Having faith in God with not one doubt would not let anything touch you. So if someone has tryed to do juju on you say - 'Do wat you will, i have faith in Allah and Allah's power is above anyones. Everything is by the leave of Allah and if Allah wills then only if Allah wills i will suffer hardship and be affected by juju'. And that would be a test. Life is a test.

I used to think to myself why do i have such a hard life, i have done nothing wrong to people etc. But in jail i heard a Akhi (Brother) talking to one of his friends explaining to him why life has ups and downs.

If life did not have downs and only good times you wouldnt appreciate the good times. Life would also become boring. When a man is in need he cryes out to his lord and gets stronger in faith but there are some who cry to their lord but as soon as the Lord takes them out of the struggle they forget who they cryed out to.

One quote in particular is - A man/woman with a greatest Faith (Imaan). His/Her test in life will also be the greatest. (So he would go through more difficulties than usual) In affect this would make him a better place in Jannah. Their are ranks in Jannah also, and i wish to be one that is in the highest ranks Inshallah. You should too because ultimatly that is the goal we all should keep in mind and stay focused on.

As hard as people try to chase the money to maintain a good living or get rich. That is how hard you should be trying to gather good deeds and Prayers. These are the tickets to Jannah to be in the company of Allah.

If you have knowledge of Black magic being don upon you, do not let it get to your head, do not loose faith in Allah and certainly do not let fear get the best of you. Thinking about it too much will let the affect be stronger and loosing faith lets the shaytaan and the jinn know that you are vulnerable.

A muslim man and woman should never be depressed, feel lost, angry, hurt etc. This is what Islam teaches people.

So yes performing salah and reading and understanding the Qur'an and building yourself to be strong mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually will protect you from the evil and disgusting things people do.

All of your problems will rectify. Pray to Allah with your heart realy talk to him. Talk to him like you would talk to anyone else. He exists. Its your intentions that count. Allah knows you better than you know yourself. He is closer to you than the "adams apple" men hav in their throat area. Allah loves you more than a mother loves her child.

Emma, If things are going well then Allhumdulillah but you could also read Surah Baqarah and blow upon yaself and your husband. Surah Baqarah is garenteed to help all problems.

Keerthi, you say that your sleep has went away, try not to watch t.v couple hours before goin to sleep and if you cant fall asleep normaly keep reciting something you know for example. Laa ilaha illallahu Muhammadurasulallah as many times as you can laying in your bed, you would soon drift off to sleep not knowing it.

Hope this helps anyone who reads, stay focused and follow the reality, believe in the real and life will become easy. Inshallah.

("I am not a preacher even though i sound like one.

But to think about it, all muslims are partly preachers, preahcing the truth, sending the message on to those who dont know. Right?")

-1-

Aminah 8 months ago

Salaam,

I am in a very heart breaking situation. My heart is in pain everyday now. I was seeing a Muslim boy for a year and half until things got ugly. He began hurting me physically and emotionally. Despite my family's warnings, I continued to see him. Then in march of this year, I met someone else. This boy is a Jewish boy but he has never discouraged me from my religion and has never tried to make me convert to his. I was with both men at the same time because my heart felt so trapped. Every week I kept arguing with the Jewish boy because I felt guilty that I was seeing someone else. Eventually, the day before the first day of ramadan, I completely ended it with the muslim Boy. After that I thought I was happy. A few weeks after that, I again I initiated an argument with the Jewish boy. He had finally had enough and said he could not be with me anymore. It has been three weeks and we keep going back and forth and he keeps saying he just cannot be with me. Yesterday we spoke about this and shed tears. He said he is going to try and move on with someone else and I told him I will still be here if he ever returns. He promised me he will try to return but he has no grasp over his feelings. I am so confused and I do not know what to do. Brothers and sisters please help me. I am in great pain.

.... 8 months ago

May Allah swt protect evry1 4rm blackmagic shaitans jinns its so common these days but always rememba dat Allah swt more powerful... no1 actually believes in it unless it happens to them.

Reading Manzil evryday wards of blackmagic protects oneself from nazar, jinnaat, black magic and evil in general...

Emma 8 months ago

Salam

Unknown Bro

There is a lot of good stuff you have said and it is true regular prayers cures depression and faith gives stability in life. There is one little thing I would add and that is when you are in complete harmoney with yourself then you do not have the fear of being looked upon as a softy or push over. Thanks for ur advice, it is very much appreciated.

ANIMAH

What are you doing to urself? You neither need the muslim boy nor the Jewish boy.Keep urself away from both of them and seek help from Allah to guide you and to help you to concontrate on your study or career, whichever applies to you. People who already have been in an abusive relationship ones are likely to end up in abusive relationship again, u probably have heard the expression "from the frying pan into the fire". You do not need a boyfriend to be worthy, happy or successful. Once you are happy with urself only than u r more likely find a good man to settle down with.

Dear Aftab

Hope things are going well with u! Let me know how have u been?

Ayesha siddiqa 8 months ago

ASALAM .......... YOUR STORY WAS HEART TOUCHING & A MIRACLE , SHAYAD HI MIRACLES HAPPEN ,I GOT MARRIED & WAS CHEATED ON NAME OF FAMILY VIZA ... I HAVE TWO CHILDRENTHEN AFTER 10 YEARS MY HUBBY HAD A SECRET MARRIAGE WITH HIS LOVER ON NAME OF ISLAM ... HE DID NT DIVORCE ME TAKES CARE OF MY EXPENCES & OF CHILDREN ... BUT MY HEART HAS BROKEN MY LIFE HAS BECOME JUST A COMPROMISED LIFE ............. MY SELF RESPECT HURTS ALWAYS .....

TELL ME HOW MUCH PATIENCE & TESTS I CAN BEAR

SOME TIME I LOOSE HOPE FROM PRAYERS & BELIVE ITS WRITTENED FAITH .....CAN PRAYERS CHANGE IT .... MY SMILES ARE SHATTERED

me786 8 months ago

Asalamwalaikum brothers and sisters.

I have been reading this blog and found that its not only me who is suffering. INSHALLAH ALLAH listens to our prayers. I want you to please help me.

I know this guy for few years now and we both want to get married to each other. the problem with his family is that they rejected me because i am over weight . They do not see me the person i am . He loves me and trying to fight but there is no progress. i have faught with my family over him but nothing has happened since. I am really scared to even think whatwill happen if his family doesnt accept me..what will i say to my parents who just wants my happiness and despite the rejection from his family, they are waiting for him to try speak to his parents again..

please help me what i should be reading so his family accepts me . I am unable to concentrate on my work, i dont feel like doing anything. I am so stressed with all this situation.

Please pray for me and my family and that ALLAH SWT gives me the courage to go through this situation and ALLAH SWT gives his parents some guidance so that they dont judge me with my outer looks.

response will be highly appreciated.

JAZAKALLAH

Unknown 8 months ago

Salaam Alaykum.

("TELL ME HOW MUCH PATIENCE & TESTS I CAN BEAR")

God does not put a burden on a man/woman more than he/she can bear. So anything that happens to you is nothing which you cant take. What dont kill you makes you stronger.

If your read a part of what i wrote above, i say that Islam teaches you to train yourselves, restraint over oneself, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritualy. The life is but fun and games. e.g A game to be playd, played by the rules. Once you understand that then life is not a trick nomore.

Read the Qur'an and also read the translations. Not just once but again and again. From increasing your knowledg, from even sayin the words in arabic which you dont understand will help you to be stronger in faith, mentally, physically, emotionally.

I say that The Qur'an is the book of life.

Gods word sent down by insperation for mankind, to guide mankind towards the greatest triumph. Jannah(Heaven).

Take into consideration by analyzing the world today and the generations today and you'll realise that we are moist, we are weak. People in this day and age loose hope and fall to their knees forgetting the will to survive over the most smallest things.

There are children dying of hunger, Families erased due to poverty and hunger. You sit at home knowing that you are to eat lunch at a certain time. You have to appreciate what you have and what you dont have becoz it could be that what you dont have has been taken away or not given to you for your own benefit.

You do not need a man to fullfil you.

However Pray to Allah continuously beleivin in him without one doubt and the garentee is that in the end you will get what you wish for sooner or later.

There is a saying.... 'There is a long wait to Gods house but never dark'.

One of the things that has helped me through this one very hard time was Surah Baqarah, truthfully the entire Qur'an was but i had been advised to read and complete the Surah Baqarah 12 times and each time reading to have in mind the situation i needed help with and to make Dua after each time i completed it and ask Allah for what i wished for.

Me being ryt here posting this comment is proof Of that. Proof that Allah exists and that it may take long for my wish to come true but it definately will.

1Man, 1GOD, 1Luv

Ayesha siddiqa 8 months ago

Asalam ................. ya its true "THERE IS A LONG WAIT TO GODS HOUSE BUT NEVER DARK " True That God does nt put burden more than he or she can bear .............

But still we have feelings & heat breaks disappointments which .... turns to stress .

I dont know who has answered to my comment ... can you answer why does a man cheat a women on name of islam ...

at least let them inform before going for second marriage ... life long its a pain people treat u as a bad omen if u go or do a ritual in a wedding ... oh god her hubby has a second marriage let her be away from the ceremony etc etc ........... can you feel the pain

anyways ... might be iam wrong ... anyways ............. jazak ALLAH

Ayesha siddiqa 8 months ago

ASALAM ..... THANKS FOR REPLYING FOR MY COMMENT ... YA ITS TRUE ,There is along await to Gods house but never dark ..god does nt give burden he / she can bear than his capacity ...

YOU KNOW WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY ... ONCE A MAN HAS CHEATED A WOMEN OR EVEN THOUGH A SECOND MARRIAGE ON NAME OF ISLAM

FOR EXAMPLE IN ANY WEDDING RITUAL A WOMEN IS NT ALLOWED FOR A RITUAL LIKE THEY SAY HER HUBBY HAS A SECOND WIFE DONT ALLOW HER FOR RITUALS ITS A BAD OMEN ......... ETC ETC ..........

HEARTBREAKS , DISAPPOINTMENTS , WORRIES , UN HAPPINESS , COMPROMISED LIFE LEADS YOU TO A STRESS LIFE .............

WHY DOES A MAN CHEATS ON NAME OF ISLAM ... HE CAN SAY OR BE TRUE TO HIS WIFE BEFORE SHATTERING HE CAN SPEAK TO HER ABOUT THE SECOND WEDDING IS NT IT .............

WHY HAS ISLAM GIVEN SO MUCH LIBERTY FOR A MAN .........

JAZAK ALLAH

huma 8 months ago

I got married 4years back but i dont have children tell me dua.

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Sister Ayesha

My heart goes out to you and ur 2 children. However, I dont think Islam allows men to do whatever they like. Men use part of Islam without its context for their own benefit and second and subsequent marriages are a good example of this. They say they follow the life style of our Prophet(peace be upon him) and yet how many of them can take a wife 15 years older than they and love her and remain faithful to her for the duration of their marriage? When the Quran was revealed at that time men used to have many wives and used to have very little respect for women. The Quran actually placed a legal limit on the number and clearly said a man should only take more than one wife if he can be JUST between them, which is an impossible test to satisfy. I hear even our Prophet(peace be upon him) said it is not possible to be JUST,( I.e. treat them equally in everything) between the wives. So I cannot see how can any Tom Dick and Harry can pass this test?

Be strong and seek help from Allah. Once someone said to me that our attachment to people and our status cause us pain and sorrow. They say detach urself from these and connect urself with the Devine and you will find real peace and happiness. Life is a drama and we all are playing a part. As for society, especially women, who treat a victim like a crinimal are ignorant.

mis 8 months ago

so amazing... hey but do u know wats wit that person,is he happy?.. wat happened to him... did he get his piece of cake wat he deserves? is he regretting...ehsas hain kya? plz reply...

unknown 8 months ago

asak..i m 21... my situation is kinda same but i m not yet married... i was in a relationship for 1 yr n then he broke up...i did love that person so much so much n wud pray for him all the time,i use to pray 5 times,i still do masahallah but dont know wat suddenly happened he dumped me,stopped talkin to me... i was so hurt i prayed n asked allah to do something stil hopin for the best,but i still want that person to come back to me dont know y.. o u can tel i dont wanna forget him..its been 1 yr now since we broke up but i think i still love him :-( wat to do plz suggest...

mylifeforallah 8 months ago

Hi sister i underestand how you feel. im a man and i been there my self and still now. its so hard when you love someone you cant let them go but at the sam time they dont love you and they dont car and they are very heartless. its even hart for me because i was born in iraq and I cant work at the moment and no family I have no where to turn all I have is my Allah and she treat me like dog so I just know what to do I can sleep on street. so let me tell you wabout 5 years go i met this woman she was my first love in my life and after two month I asked to marry me and she was very happy with that then two month after married every thing was turn up side down because she was talking to ex boyfriends behind my back and chest chatting on computer. it was realy hard for me and we broke up but my god i really wanted to kill my self. i was trying to get back together because i loved her so much and even now shes still same woman so i feel so lonly and let down and so hurt all the time but i think if someone didnt love you or care about you you should leave them and pray ask allah for right person. but my situation is different noe one want me because i dont have papers!!! but im a good hearted man very caring and loving and very honest my allah know that hes in our heart so please help me out of the hell because i dont feel like live any more.all i have got is just cry when im alon.

Unknown 8 months ago

Salaam.

Sista i feel 4u, for real i realy do. You got me close to a tear drop.

And your exactly right that the man should say something and be true to his wife about what he plans to do like marry another woman.

But do not get it mixed up, Islam does not let a man loose. Man is not given liberty like you see men doing.

Man is not above woman and woman is not above man.

We both are equal.

Now i have not been married but i do know that what your husband has done is wrong. Especialy being done on the name of Islam. Hurting a female emotionaly like that is worse than hurting one physically.

Men need to understand that a female is like a a glass vessel,special,beautiful and fragile. Men need to be kind and loving to their wife. When the wife speeks they should listen to their wife.

Muslims might opress their women but it has nothing to do with Islam.

The prophet Muhammad SAW,' says those of the Muslims that are best in the nation of Islam are those that are best to their wife'.

And for those who look at a woman wrong like the example you put forward. That type of situation happens everyday. Who are they to judge? God is the judge. I read a book given to me by an imaam which tells you how to deal with emotions and how to be a better Muslim. A part of it went as follows.. 'If you intend to sit with a group of people but they do not let you sit with them, do not let it get to your heart, do not have bad feelings. If you are looked at wrong, do not let it mean anything, do not let anger rise up or hatred build up. You and your lord knows the truth. A Muslim man/woman should never be heartbroken, feel alone, hopless, angry, depressed.

Ofcoursre like you said that we still have feelings, the heart breaks which leads to stress.

But take it as a test because thats what it realy is. I recently spent a year in jail. Incarcerated for a crime i didnt commit. Put yourself in my shoes for a minute and imagine no one to help you, no one who beleives you and no one that cares. The one thing that got me through it and the reason why i am not mad and gone crazy with anger is because i had faith and i had the book of life in my possession. The Qur'an. It was my best friend throughout that time. In my head i contemplated a million thoughts. I realised that i am alone. That is the reality, you are born alone and will die alone, be raised back up alone and questioned alone. This is why i say 1Man, 1God, 1Luv. Inside i had a predicament which was that even though i only had a year to do, if i didnt stay out of trouble i could end up getting extra days for example 2years extra. Then be caught up in that cycle and never reach a time for my releasse. Because even if you try to not create trouble, in jail trouble follows you where ever you go. But by following what i had read in the Qur'an and the book that the imaam gave me, not letting looks get to me or words get to me.

In the end those same people provoking me or judging me turned out to respect me and be friend wit me.

i can relate to the pain you feel becoz i've been through worst times but do not let your livelyhood get affected and even if theres nothing to smile about, just smile. It has also been scientifically prooven that just using the muscles we use to smile releases certain hormones in the body which will make you happier.

So smile my sista and pray my sista, i'll pray my sista and inshallah we'll get there my sista.

Never forget that the real goal is to achieve and reach the ultimate triumph... Jannah. Hope to see you there.

1Man,1GOD,1Luv

Ayesha siddiqa 8 months ago

ASALAM ............. THANK YOU ALL FOR ANSWERING TO MY COMMENT , MY PAIN WAS BETWEEN ME & ALLAH PAK

MY HUBBY MARRIED ME AS PER HIS PARENTS WISH & CHOICE

LATER AFTER 10 YEARS WHEN MY IN LAWS PASSED AWAY HE DID A SECOND MARRIAGE HE TOLD ME THE TRUTH I MARRIED YOU BECOZ OF PARENTS ... HE WAS IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMEN ... SHE DIDNT MARRY ANYBODY ... AGAIN THEY MET & MARRIED

MY HUBBY USE TO ALWAYS FIND MISTAKES IN ME SMALL SMALL FIGHTS IN BETWEEN US USE TO HAPPEN ... SHAYAD REASON IS HE WAS IN LOVE WITH SOME ELLSE & AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US OF 10 YEARS

HIS LOVER IS MORE AGED THAN ME ... MY HUBBY SAYS I DID NT GO TO ANY YOUNGER WOMEN THAN U ...

MY LIFE IS COMPROMISED THOUGH HE TAKES CARE OF ME & MY CHILDREN ..........

I HAVE MANY FEELINGS

HIS ABROAD LIFE & SECOND MARRIAGE SHATTERED MY DREAMS ....... JUST I SHARED MY FEELINGS .... EVERY STORY TEACHES US A LESSON

IAM WORKING AS A RECEPTIONIST IN A CONSTRUCTION COMPANY...... & KEEP MY SELF BUSY

ANYWAYS ,............................

JAZAK ALLAH

lost soul 8 months ago

hi everyone. I want to say that I love this woman for already like 2 years plus. I was about to get married to her next year in july. All this while ive been loving her truly and sacrificing for her a lot. I have always prayed to Allah to guide her and myself to have a good family and to have good children so that we can guide each and everyone of us to become good servants of Allah. This lady whom i met 2 years ago told me about her dark past. She is actually a single parent who has a 11 year old daughter now. At first I didnt want to accept her coz i was thinking a lot about my mother. i am still a bachelor who has not yet married and if i told my mother that i wanna be with someone like her. But i felt that it was bad of me to think this way. I thought that every one deserves a second chance and at last i decided to accept her and her child. I put a thick face and asked my mother about me being with her and my mother straight away called me stupid! but i know my mother. I know that she usually say things without even thinking but after a few minutes, my mother came and talked to me nicely. She said that ok if you think she is a nice girl and she can take good care of you and respect me as a mother, then Ill give you my blessings. I smiled and hugged my mother and straightaway i called my gf and told her the truth. we were both happy and as time passed by we were serious about each other. As time passed by, i met up with her family and her daughter and alhamdulillah, everything went well. her father really likes me and treats me good.

Now things has changed, i find that we are always quarelling and then she would disappear from mefer like a week. i am not saying that its always her fault. there are times i am to blame too. but it saddens me that even if it was her fault she had never come and apologize to me. i had to be the one to come back to her and begging her to forgive me even when it is not my fault. She can curse me, use vulgarities to me and to my shocked, i found out that she has been talking with other guys behind my back. i got so angry and i hurled a few bad words to her. I know i was wrong but i was so angry after seeing all those messages and was patient with her all this while. but no matter what i cool down and seek forgiveness from her again. but she has always wanted to end the relationship with me.

I came to her house early in the morning. It was around 7 that i knocked on her door but no one was home. i waited and waited for her to come back but she didnt want to meet me. Then i said to her if you dont want to be with me anymore. i have to accept but let me see your father to seek forgiveness from him once and for all. She didnt allow me to and told to f away. finally she told me to meet her at a nearby place. I quickly ran there and saw that she had called her friend to accompany her. this friend of her has always been advising her negative things about me when in fact i barely know who she was. i asked her y are u always interfering in our problems when i have not interfered in yours at all. i read your messages in her email and u told her to leave me coz she doesnt deserve me. she went to called her bf to help her out. her bf is also a friend of mine but they knew not the truth as my x gf did not tell them the truth. she told people that i was the evil one when the fact that she herself has issues that she did not tell.i cried in public and begged her but there was no ounce of pain through her eyes. she just said that its over and wanted me to move on.

I came back at her home and waited under her void deck. by then she was already back home and asleep coz she was working on night shift previously. all i wanted to do now was to wait for her father and tell her father how much i have loved her daughter and have tried my very best in taking good care of her. her father was so sad looking at me coz her father really loved me. i seek forgiveness from her father and went back home. I didnt go to work and was there from morning til nighht. i neglected prayers and Allah just because i really didnt want to lose her. but it seems that its the end but her cruelty and selfishness really stunned me... I am becoming like a crazy person and my iman is weakened by all of this. I dont even know how to break the news to friends family and colleagues that she has already left me. I think Allah is angry with me and i am really lost right now. I know deep inside me that i can never give up on allah and i must continue on praying to him and learn to be patience. I really need hep and those who can advice me please do so.. Thank you

Maria84 8 months ago

hi i am engaged to a boy but i dont love him at all and i dont want to meet him or speak to him. It is so hard because i do not wanna treat anyone that bad but i can not control it. I try to talk to him but i can not cause i do not love him so i do not wanna see him. I do not what to do, he says he loves me but i can not help that i do not love him. I try to speak to him but i can not. I always avoid him, i have been doing that for many years now and i am so worried cause maybe allah will not forgive me, I dont know. Is it a test? i wish i was the one who loved him and he hated me. I wish we could exchange places. at lest i would not be tha ''bad'' one. Everyone is blaming for avoiding him. They think i do it with purpose but i do not. I want to be a good person and treat everyone well but i can not treat him well cause i dont love him and i hate him so much. I am so afraid of divorce. Before getting engaged i felt it was wrong and i cried a lot but no one listen to me and today im suffering so much cause i can not treat a person well. I hate it. I have never been the type who want to hard people and make them feel bad but now i have hurt him a lot and a lot of persons too.

Pray for me. I have been testing much dua and i will be doing it until this problem solves inschalla! pray for me and give me advice thanks

Emma 8 months ago

Dont stay in a relationship if the other person does not care about ur feelings and does not have any respect for you. However, only you know what happened and who is responsible for the majority of the problems. Sometimes people kill other people's goodwill and good feelings and love for them through meanness and continous cruelty. Love is a state of feeling and it needs tander care and narturing, otherwise it dies.

Precious Star 8 months ago

Dear "unknown".

It has been one year since you guys broke up.

If he has not contacted you during that time, he is no longer interested in you.

I am sorry. Please try to forget about him. I know its hard but what choice do you have? You are only 21; there will be many more rishta's in yourl ife.

Forget and move on. He certainly did.

Also, look through all the comments on this page. No one, NO ONE, has written back to say that their dua was answered. Just iffirdous. The rest of us keep suffering and keep saying our dua.

animir 8 months ago

I have been going through the same thing like many of you here: I got married last year and since then, have been exploited by my husband and his mother. We are now seperated and looks like a divorce is imminent. Even though my husband does not want it, me and my family are sick and tired of their lying and cheating! I was very depressed for a while but after reading some of y'alls posts, I feel like I have been very lucky in many cases and have a lot to thank for. I do want to mention some duas that have helped me in the past, IA, they will help y'all as well. The last verse of surah Tawbah "Faa in tawallau.........arshil azeem" is very good. Read it as many times as you can, with or without wudu. Also, one of the wives of prophet Mohammad saaw(Uum SAlma) used to recite this dua after her husband had died and she would wonder who would be a better husband than he was and Allah married her to our prophet saaw. It is as follows... Allahummah Aajirni fee museebati wakhlufni khairum minha. I pray that all of the people here find peace and happiness in their lives, please pray for me as well as I want to remarry and start a new life.

Zara 8 months ago

Mashallah, I couldn't sleep it's almost 4am.. So I started searching for duahs and Islamic stories so I could fall asleep... I start uni within few days and my heart is pounding!! I will be away from my family which is making my heart rather unhappy.. Part of me is still glad I'm finally gone go educate myself however part of me is nervous/scared. However after coming across this amazing real life situation story my heart feel a ton of satisfaction.. Thankyou ever so much for this.. Also please brothers and sisters pray for me as I'm a little unsurtan unsure about some aspect that are along place in my life... Please remember this stranger in hour prayers ^_^ I will remember you all an I will pray for all of u out there inshallah... May Allah bless us all with happy content Islamic life =) may he guide us protect us.. May he help us pull ourself towards Islam and may he bless us with the right life partner... May Allah do what's he sees fits us best... Allahu

Aftab 8 months ago

Dear Emma

Hi how are u ? . I been I guess ok but still nt too happy with my own family . We built a new house n everyone moved here I didn't want to cm to the new house but made my mom happy by moving here . N way I been reading this page everyday day n u girls really keep up the good word . N too many thanks for asking abt me .

My parents again didn't even mention abt my child or her mother it's like they don't even want to talk abt her .

You know when u hv problem in life u dnt feel like doing n thing n I used to mk fun of ppl that work for us whenever they shared n problem with me I would gv them a smart answer like deal with it or it's nt a big deal . But Allah Md me realize that very fast . These days I cnt even fall sleep at all I been up since 5 am n now it's almost 1 in the morning .

But hey tk care n keep responding to all the ppl that need help

keerthi 8 months ago

thanks yours commands has given me a little relaxation...thanks alot

amul 8 months ago

I have so much of stress in me i am in love with a muslim guy but i am a hindu girl but we both fall in deep love for the past 6 years .one day my family members come to know about it.now in my home lot of restrictions. but we cant leave our love.i am totally depressed because of this and my guy also suffers same like this. this is like a hell for us both ...and the same thing is happened in my friends life.. give us one of the best solution to come out of this hell thing..will allah help for us.. will allah accept our love and we will get in together and my friends suffers more than me tell us one good solution pls........

amul 8 months ago

hai lost soul you have not lost anything you just think positively that will help you for ever and dont think of your x gf and start on your new life and dont lose your confidence and life is not only that still more things are there surely allah will help you keep your prayers to allah

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Aftab

Its good to hear from you. I was a bit like u, the world used to b my oyester couldnt understand other people's pain. But it all changed very fast while I was barely 14. Since than I am learing new lessons all the time and still no wiser than b4. Once sacrificed my dreams n happiness 4 my family and they r still not happy with me. So I accepted that I v to learn to take care of myself and b just with myself n others. Met someone who appeared very nice and descent and also suffered psychological abuse when he was a child. I had a lot of respect for him and thought I would b able to amke him happy. With hindsight that was the craziest mistake I ever made, if any of you reading this meet a psychologically damaged person run as far away as possible from them, 1stly its not ur resposibility to cure unless u caused the damaged to start with. Secondly, that person, 4 whom u got so much love or affaction, in fact can destroy u. Bcos people who v been abused as a child often become an even bigger abuser, bcos they beome pain bodies. I am not saying all become abuser, it is a chioce they make. They are also very good at wearing a mask.

Thats is my story. I have been through a lot b4 all alone, bcos its not even worth talking about my family, but nothing could dampened my spirit. Ever since I got close to this person depression became my companion and it would get worse and worse. So I came to the realisation too late that he has nothing good to offer. Now I learnt that when a worthy person touches u, u glow and similarly when an unworthy touches u, u lose not only ur looks but also peace and happiness. This lesson came too late to save me. I have no iead what I am to do, 4 this time i ruined my life. I only pray to Allah to show me the way and grant me courage, wisdom and a stable mind becos i got children as well.

As for wealth and status they are only good so long they contribute to happiness and contantments. Otherwise they have no real value.

plz pray 4 me and I do pray for everyone who is pain.

Keep me updated and take care.

Unknown 8 months ago

Salaam Alaykum.

Amul, its seems like that you believe in Allah by the way you talk about Allah.

Anyway, if you beleive in Allah(God) then it is garanteed that Allah will find a way for you. There are alot of people who do not beleive but Allah still pulls them out of trouble. I would advice to make a dua(Wish) to Allah everyday with all ya heart and the best result will be given in the end. But whatever happens, happens for a reason. A reason which we know not. God knows which we know not so never turn ur back after a small misfortune occurs.

For all those who do not believe. To open the Qur'an does not hurt nor will change you so you are not yourself anymore. I've come across a few people who are scared and wary to look into things out of fear but in reality it will enhance your mind and make you more knowledgable in life, in reality, in God.

God willing you will find faith.

Nur 8 months ago

The Concept of Doa' in Islam

Assalamualaikum..

My fellow Muslims,

Islam encourages us to always make Doa, make supplications to Allah and ask for his blessings. He is the owner of everything. And everything that happens it is with His permission. Therefore we are advised to ask from Him all that is good for our lives in this world and the hereafter. Only those who are arrogant will refuse to make worship and make Doa' to Him.

Making Doa' and asking him for help does not mean just asking and wait for it to happen without putting in any effort. When we make Doa' for the reward of paradise, we must at the same time put in the effort to do good deeds. When we make Doa' to Allah, asking for our livelihood and sustenance, this must also be followed by constant effort. The same goes when we ask Allah for success in our studies. It must be followed with consistent studying and revision.

Allah hears all our prayers. And he knows whatever we ask from Him. But it is His wish that there are Doa's that will be granted fast and there are Doa's that He will keep for us for the Day of Judgment.

Sometimes we keep asking ourselves. Why Allah grants the wishes of the unbelievers' and seems to not grant the Doa of the believers. It is as if the doa of the Muslims are not granted and not heard by Him.

There are actually two reasons on why Allah grants the prayers and wishes fast. The first, is because Allah loves those who made the Doa'. The second reason, is because Allah is angry with them. To those that Allah is angry with, He will sometimes give these people more providence, wealth. This will make those people more complacent, careless and forgetful. And when they least suspect it, Allah will take away their lives. And they will die in a very bad state ­ the su'ul khatimah. This is what the Ulama termed as "Istidraj".

Allah states in Surah Al-An'am, verse 44:

"So, when they forgot the warning with which they had been reminded, We opened for them the gates of every pleasant things, until in the midst of their enjoyment in that which they were given, all of a sudden We took them. They were plunged into destruction with deep regrets and sorrows."

There are those who have made a lot of Ibadah, and kind deeds, yet their prayers and wishes in their Doa seem not granted by Allah s.w.t. There are two answers for this. The first is that Allah loves to hear the Doa from these humble and loyal servants. When Allah loves these servants, these servants will constantly be under Allah's protection. Allah will keep these Doa so as to use these to assist these servants, during the Day of Judgment, where all wealth and children will be of no use. Allah will show to His servants all the Doa's that have been made during their lifetimes and verily these Doa's will help to protect them from hell fire. Among the reasons why Allah does not grant our Doa's is because of our own selves.

That is how Allah shows His Rahmah, love and blessings to us. It is not that Allah do not want to grant us our wishes, but He will keep them for us till the day He deems fit to grant those wishes or He will keep for us and only award us on the day of Qiamah. These are the prayers of the pious and those that are loyal and committed to his cause.

Let us all be among those who will always carry out the commandments of Allah. Let us all have the intention and determination to not repeat all our past mistakes. With this intention and determination, Insya'Allah all our Doa' will be accepted and granted by Allah s.w.t. Allah states in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 186.

amul 8 months ago

thank you for your relaxable words

SADIYA 8 months ago

ASALAM ......

I HAD SOME PROBLEMS IN MY MARRIED LIFE MY HUSBAND AFFAIR & SECOND MARRIAGE I HAVE TWO CHILDREN IAM 40 YEARS WOMEN , I WAS IN NEED OF A JOB MY COUSIN TOLD ME TO CONTACT ONE MR FAIZ WHO RECRUIT JOB .. I CALLED HIM & TOLD IAM IN NEED OF JOB ETC ETC .... AS DAYS PASSED ,WE BECAME FRIENDS ..... THOUGH WE HAVE NT SEEN EACH OTHER HE WAS 35 YEARS YOUNGER TO ME ... HE TOLD ME ONCE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME WANTED TO MARRY ME .... BUT I TOLD HIM IAM ELDER TO YOU I HAVE CHILDREN ONLY I HAVE SOME UPS & DOWNS IN MY MARRIED LIFE ...MY HUSBAND HAS NT DIVORCED ME . HE IS IN ABROAD HE WILL BE BACK I HAVE HOPE ...... I USE TO JUST GIVE NEGATIVE ANSWERS BUT WE WERE FRIENDS ....

ONE FINE DAY HE GOT MARRIED TO A GIRL HIS MARRIAGE DID NT LAST EVEN FOR A MONTH .... THEY HAD PROBLEMS HE SAYS SHE WAS PROUD ARROGANT ETC ETC ....... ALWAYS HE APPRECIATED MY SIMPLICITY .... KIND HEARTED & SMILING NATURE

HE WAS TOTALLY BROKEN THEN AFTER 3 TO 4 YEARS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP WE MET JUST FOR 1/2 HOUR HE BECAME TRIED TO HOLD & KISS ME

LATER HE TOLD SORRY ..... HE WAS BROKEN AFTER HIS DIVORCE & SEARCHED A JOB IN WESTENDIES , SOME TIMES HE CALLS ME .... HE MAILS TO ME .................

NEVER I HAVE ENCOURAGED HIM ..... BUT DUE TO MY LONELINESS SHAYAD I HAD BEEN DEPENDENT ON HIM I USE TO SHARE SOME PROBLEMS WITH HIM ETC NEVER GAVE A POSITIVE ANSWER FOR HIM ....

HIS FEELINGS FOR ME ARE STILL SAME LOVE & MARRY ME

EVEN I WAS IN LOVE SHAYAD BUT NEVER TOLD HIM .... TILL TODAY .... HE USE TO SAY YOUR SILENCE SAYS EVERYTHING ............. BUT NEVER I TOLD HIM YES .... ITS TRUE TRUE

AS HE WAS YOUNGER TO ME SHAYAD I FELT LIKE STILL DONT KNOW WHETHER LOVE OR PHYSICAL ATTRATION OR WHAT

EVEN TODAY WE ARE FRIENDS .......................... ALWAYS I TELL HIM I WAN U TO GET SETTLED IN LIFE .......... & IAM NT YOUR FUTURE

I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS CALLED .................

LONELINESS & MY HUSBANDS AFFAIR ..... WHEN I WAS BROKEN I BECAME DEPENDENT ON MY FRIEND ....

BUT NEVER EVER I SWEAR MISS USED HIM ......... PLEASE TELL ME IAM RIGHT OR WRONG

EVEN TILL DAY I DIDNT SAY HIM I LIKED OR LOVED HIM

ALWAYS TELL HIM YOUR JUST MY FRIEND

muslimsister 8 months ago

Aslaam alaykum,

Maybe you should have not shared as much with your friend or not be as close to him! i understand your pain, but always worship allah! One thing, before doing anything, always think will this make god happy or angry!you need to start building on a special bond between you and allah, god sent us to this world to make him proud, or atleast to make him be satisfied with us, live your life according to what pleases god, you will find barkhat and help in that. True love is with god only, the one, who if you remember and obey, will not decieve you, unlike humans on this earth!wish you luck!

your sister

muslimsister 8 months ago

o, and 1 more thing, you did the right thing not telling him, that you liked him, even though your husband might have affairs, you are still his wife, its good that you know your place and responsibility, prove to allah that even though your huband did wrong, you did not!

destroying your desires to do whats right pleases god!

whenever you pray, pray alone letting everything out of your heart, cry aswell, the one who created you, will obviously love you, even more than your parents love you!

take care.

sayidah 8 months ago

Truly, when in peace with allah the affairs of this world dont hurt you anymore!

mina 8 months ago

May Allah inshallah help us all in our problems and hardships. Know that you are not alone in your tests, especially those which have to do with a spouse. Just know that inshallah nothing will be forgotten or unnoted, Allah knows when someone has had wrong done to them and they will be compensated inshallah either in this life or the day of judgement, just be patient my brothers and sisters and let us keep each other in our duaas.

muslimsister 8 months ago

inshallah, rightly said, my sister!

May allah guide us to do that which is best, i hope that the shaitans whispering causing reckage between couples mutes! And that the companionship between them strives!

Ameen!

Emma 8 months ago

CANNOT A WOMAN DIVORCE HER HUSBAND FOR TAKING A SECOND WIFE??

Clearly taking a second wife is a breach of trust and leads to endless pain and suffering. I have seen men divorcing their first wives in order to bring their second wives to the UK.

Emma 8 months ago

DUA FOR A BABY

A couple of sisters ask if there is a dua they could recite which would help them to conceive a baby. There are a couple of duas.

''Rabbi laa tadharni fardan wa anta khayr ul-waaritheen''

(O my Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors)

And you may also pray:

“Rabbi hab li min ladunka dhurriyyatan tayyibatan innaka samee’ al-du’aa’

(O my Lord! Grant me from You a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation)

Unknown 8 months ago

Assalamualaikum,

@ abcd and Muslimah

JazakAllah for your help and advice regarding the Sindhi boy who was on my case. Alhamdulilah I am okay now and he have left me alone due to all the duaz.

Aftab 8 months ago

Dear Emma

My life is just Geting crazier . Ok now my child's mother dosent not want to live with my mother n the same house she's saying they are very mean to her n I am all over again stuck in the middle I trying my best to work this problem through but it just keep Geting more n more messed up n that keeps me more in depression lately I hv no clue what to do or how to handle this sisution . Who should I mk happy my child's mother me or my parents .

When my child is grown I will mk sure she nvr goes through this kind of problems Bcs it keeps eating u inside slowly slowly n lately even my child's mother ok I will write her name but that's nt the right name just so u know n aftab is nt my name too . I just Md a name up here so I guess no one tracks me who I am

Crazy yea .

All I want is peace in my life n I am nt Geting it . Now that I moved to the new house I c my mon n dad are happy but they nvr asked me if I was happy even for a sec . I dnt know how they could be like that they are my parents they know what I am going through but they act like everything is normal n there is no problem .

Hey Emma I was abused sexually when I was a child but I

Dnt agree with u I

Dnt want to hurt n one every person is different n goes through different stuff but the outcome or result is different I mk sure or stay on a high alert to mk sure no other child get absued or I look for signs to tell little kids in family to stay away Frm sm one who I think is like that .

But that's a another issue I will write sm other day on that .

A sami 8 months ago

I don't know how long I've spent reading on this website, but I know subhanAllah that I have read/skimmed over every comment here.

I havew to admit, I'm really surprised by the amount of times I'm hearing about boyfriends/girlfriends. The reality is, is that muslims have strayed so far from the prescribed ways of courting and finding husbands/wives. Love is a rahmat (mercy) from our lord and marriage is a blessing. Too many stories here, as sad as they are, sound like any other typical story you'd hear from a non muslim. The stories of falling in love and then the tradegy of having it ripped away from you in most cases could've been helped.

If you are true to your religion, and true to the teachings of the Nabi (SAW), then surely you would want to follow the correct path and all that is right. The fact of the matter is, is that when you fell in love, you chose to. If you date like the non muslims do, you have opened your heart to being hurt and broken.

Why do I say this? Because we as muslimeen have been prescribed a way in which we should marry. We should never 'date' alone for shaytan makes your third company, leading to situations later on that end up haram. Getting to know somebody is what have led most of you falling into the false sense of security of love, and has later damaged you.

I know not all of you fall into the category of doing things wrong, but a good deal of you have. The whole concept of dating described by the non muslims does not and should not exist or be a part of our world. There is a good and bad kind of love, and I firmly believe that true love only begins after marriage and not before.

A true man/woman brothers and sisters would want to do things the right way. Coming from the western world, I know firsthand how hard it is to marry in the way of the sahabas, but this was never supposed to be easy. The best quality to look for a man/woman is how religious they are above all else, and a truly religious person would never court you outside your home, away from the protection of your family.

If a man/woman is not close to God and does not share your religion or practice, then how can they be close to you? How can you ask of your lord for them to love you when they have shown no love for him? Should he not come first to both you and whomever is involved?

'...it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allâh knows but you do not know'. - Baqara.

Some of you have said that you have been tricked into believing someone is religious and in those cases, I'm truly sorry, it should comfort you to know that even if you have been decieved the Lord hasn't, and a munafiq (hypocrite) will most defintely serve his/hers punishment one day.

Most of you here are disinllusioned by marriage and love even. It is true that in this Duniya our fates have been written since our births all the way to our deaths. But does that mean we lay in bed all day because we're muslims and even if we are ultimately guaranteed heaven, we don't need to pray, give charity and do good deeds? No, we work for paradise and must do until the day we die.

We will ALL go through hardships in this duniya, that does not mean we should give up on God because we do not see results.

Having Imaan means not being disappointed in your creator, understanding that we are only here for one purpose and that is to worship. Everything else like family, friends, wealth, health and all things we desire are just blessings from God, some will have them, some will not, but do not despair, life is very short and everyone gets what they deserve in the herafter.

I have written with love, not with judgement and so if I seem harsh, forgive me, but I am remaining true to my beliefs hoping that they mirror that of the Prophet himself sallalahu alayhi wa aleehi wa sallam.

PS -

I encourage you guys to check out this lecture on Love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TdpvPRCaXE

And to the original OP, may God bless you and your loved ones Ameen. Your story was inspiring mashaAllah!

please pray for me 8 months ago

salam i dont know who is the owner of this page and who gives dua for solving problems i request to give me a wazifa i have many problem :(( i am realy in terrible pleaseeeeee i am waithing any one help me please please please...

muslimsister 8 months ago

salaam

i agree to the point that love should start after marriage, god has told us to lower our gaze and do hijab, but not just physical, but also spiritual! You sometimes see some women wearing hijab, but theyre on the back of a bus smoking, swearing and screaming! i dont mean affence to anyone but that makes me feel ashamed to accept them as my muslim sisters.

But i will say that men should also lower their gazes! but sometimes i feel that this environment is such, where in secondary schools, not going out with someone means youre left out! but there are a minority of muslims which dont do this.

Hollywood, bollywood, etc.. brings ideas to people for love before marriage, the whole concept i feel probably came from there, in schools i know that the seating plan for classrooms must be a boy sitting next to a girl, so from when you start to become balagh, you are put into this type of environment, where love is encouraged! Which later on brings problems into marriage life!

But this love is nothing but an unpure desire, The love after marriage is pure! The difference is that, that love before marriage is encouraged by shaitan, whereas this after marriage is encouraged by god and is in fact a blessing!

And you know it is said that when a person in their youth gets married, the shaitan screams that this person has been saved from many other sins!

I just pray that the young men and women protect themselves as much as possible, which may be a great Jihad in there lives!

nasreen akhtar 8 months ago

Sallam.Wow amazing Mashallah, Allah swt knows best. Anyway people my fam are pushing for me to get married iv just turned 31 never been married before, live in away yorkshire, looking for a practicing Sunni Muslim, if there is anybody out there pls drop me a email at nasreenakhtar2008@hotmail.co.uk. Ws

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Aftab

I am glad u didnt use ur real name. Well I really feel for u, this problem is not going to go away as fast as u would like to. Ur parents probably strong dislike her(u 4got to mention a name) bcos of what u mentioned earlier.I think she will find it easier to cope with if she were to think about the whole thing from ur parents' perspective as well, not saying accept their views, but just try to see hwr they r cmong from. Marriage is a compromise.

U might have to find a place of ur own initially and mantain close contact with ur parents. It might take years 4 things to get normal, but do not lose hopes. I'm sure ur parents know n understand ur difficulties, but their dislike is such that they think if they act normal n never mention ur daughter u will 4get n agree to move on. Dont take to ur heart, neither put urself in the middle. Just do ur duty as a father, a husband and a son n seek strenghts, endurance n guidance from Allah, who has everything in abundance. His resources r unlimited n it literally helps.

I am sorry to hear about the sexual abuse. The good thing is that u have chosen to b good n staying alert to protect other innocent children. But hey I didnt say all abused become abusers, I said some do. We will have a debate later someday when u r in less pain.

keep posting

tkr

arfan shaffi 8 months ago

assalamualaikum my sister i read your message and thanks for posting it may allah subhana ta aalah protect us all from evil and bring peace in to all our lives

anonymous 8 months ago

YO story is very inspiring... am also in a very cold place right now, i felt like just dying and leave this painful world.... but yo story has inspired me to turn more to Allah

zaryab sultan 8 months ago

salam mu alykum plzzz also pry for meee i m also in problm cox i love some one nd she is also love me soo mch bt our perent r not agree for our merry

Emma 8 months ago

If someone is making u feel small and insignificant, do not give them the satisfaction by reacting to them. Just stay calm and say to urself I know my own worth. No self respecting person feels the need to lower another person in order to make themselves big. Its usually the lower type who tries to bring another person down to their level. Stay active, have positive thoughts about urself, love urself n set urself free.

Life is a drama, like so many people mentioned b4 n the roles we play also reverses, its only a matter of time. So I would not consider leaving this world on someone elses account. All I know is this, whoever is doing wrong to me will suffer the same, may be even more. At least if I keep my conscions clear my time will come soon (inshaAllah).

Hypocrisy n double standard drives me mad, but even than I have seen how hypocrits settle their own karmic account n how miserable they bcome. Hypocrits r the worst type, no wonder Allah mentioned severe punishment is reserved for them.

Sisters n brothers dont lose hopes in the Almighty, things will get better.

Hina 8 months ago

Assalam Alaikum!

Hope u will b fine.I m from Pakistan. I am 25 year old.My qualification is M.A , M.ed & I have good job. Everyone admire my personality. Bt Sir stil I m nt married. Dont Know wts da problm. I want to b married to obey ALLAH's order. Plz pray for me that the person who will marry with me.should b a religious person. I want to go ALLAH's Home at least one time in a year.Plzzzz pray for me.

ALLAH KHAFIZ!

taaf 8 months ago

ALHAMDULILAH i feel very happy after reading your life story.

i have some problem in my life. i m not married, but i am engaged with a man in my family.. nw a days he is in uk. my mother and that man wanted me to talk to him so that we develop some understanding. i was against it. but then i started slowly now its been a ayear and i feel i have developed a very soft corner for him in my heart. but nw he dont answer to my emails and says i will call u but doesnt call me. i am so depressed that why is this happening. please tell me some dua for restlessness and to create patience in me.

m doing engineering and i m a good student but i cant pay attention to my studies due to this.

Matiullah 8 months ago

Assalam o aliqum ... can any body tell me to get job duwa plz plz .

i am realy sick but insahallah i will get soon my job.

/// 8 months ago

ppl i m sowie to say but love before marriage is not good... love is pure only after marriage... dua can do anything.. allah is alwayz there for u...

Azeez 8 months ago

I was very much happy about ur life. By overcomin all the difficulties you were blessed by Allah Almighty.. Allah listen's wen we make Dua from heart.. May Allah Almighty make my sister's in Islam life more beautiful and happier.May Allah Almighty overcome the difficulties for those sister's who are still in vain and Let Allah Almighty grant them peace And make their life happier.. Aameeeeeen

Lori 8 months ago

Hello all

I met a muslim man on line. We spoke for months.Then he asked me to married him.The problem after all this love together I found out he was speaking to many more ladies on line. After being contacted by one of them when I asked him, he said she was crazy and wanted him. He did not want me to convert.JUST WANTS TO GET ME PREGNANT. But now he always picks fights and go on line.I try and I pray. I pray everyday. I am now thinking he used me to travel to US and is planning to meet someone else from his past. Please help or advise I need someone to speak to my heart is in so much pain.Please pray foe me as i will pray for all here.

Kia Pride 8 months ago

Hello,

I am 22 years old. Though I am young my heart aches everyday because I recently went through a divorce. It's been 5 months but I can't help but cry. he was an abusive husband he just git married to me to use all the money. He stole all my jewelery and gambled with it. In the beginning he was a sweet heart he rushed the marriage. We were only proposed for a month. Then he wanted to marry right away. He made me so worthless. I'm in the US and in university. My education went down the drain because of him but i talked to my uni and now back in track. As much as I am hurting now I know that Allah has better plans for me in the future. I am just afraid because in my community a divorced girl is a used car. :( . I really don't know how to express my feelings. because honestly i never loved my ex. It's just the fact that I am divorced that kills me. I always help others sometimes I wonder why Allah made me go through this. And now I am realizing that this is probably a wake up call from Allah to focus on religion more than university and what the dunya has to offer. I know that my mom loves me more than any one in the world and it breaks her heart to see me like this. I read a hadees saying Allah loves his creation 70 times more than their mothers. SO Subhanallah I can't even imagine how much he loves me. So please keep me in your prayers and make dua for a brighter future for me.

TAYB 8 months ago

SUBHANNALLAH, SUCH A INSPIRATIONAL STORY, IM 20 AND LOVE A GIRL WHO IVE KNOWN FOR 3 YEARS NOW, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST 2 YEARS, AND WE BROKE UP LAST YEAR, I KNOW IT WAS WRONG US BEING TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE, AND I PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS, BUT I STILL LOVE THE GIRL DEEPLY BUT THE FEELING ARENT MUTUAL, AND I PRAY FOR MARRIAGE WITH HER IN ALL MY NAMAZES, BUT WITH THIS STORY I HAVE HOPE THAT IF I CANT MARRY HER, ALLAH WILL GIVE ME SOMEONE BETTER INSHALLAH. JAZAKALLAH FOR THE STORY. MAY ALLAH GIVE JANNAH AL-FIRDAUS

M 8 months ago

I am going through worst then u can imagine...

The man i love the most got married to another women saying he was pressured by family...

like 2 months back and we talk day and night he tells me he will come and marry me i live in another country ...

i dont know what to do coz hes already married but the good thing is hes nice to her even when he dont like her...

I am so confused i love him i pray day and night for my answer

Fahmi 8 months ago

I was looking at the ad of Amazon books below your story.'American heros in war against radical islam'. the world radical is just a camouflager ,the war is against islam,look at the hatred in their hearts.Satan who was among the angels was thrown into hell for not accepting the superiority of adam over him .Jews who were the most favoured nation of God have bought fire for themselves for not accepting the The Book of Allah and His Messengers.

anyways i found out that Amazon books is one of those jewish companies which openly contributes to Israels cause.Muslims should boycott such products ,others include McDonalds,nescafe,Loreal,maggie...

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Lori

I think if the guy is chatting with other woman online then he is not committed in his relationship/ marriage. Unfortunately I heard stories b4 men, even muslim men used (women muslim and non muslim) to gain visa to the UK or US.

If you have already embraced Islam than plz dont give it up bcos of this man. Regular prayers will help you find peace. He will be accountable to Allah for his conduct, the Quarn has mentioned many times that deceivers will face severe punishment. You need to focus on urself right now. In ur life no one is more important than u, regain control over ur life and emotions. Accepting the reality helps us heal our wonds faster and move forward in life.

When you are ready confront him and see if your prediction is correct. I hope its wrong, however, if it turns out to be true than dont waste anyomre time on him. If u need my support I will be here.

Fahmi 8 months ago

Assalamu alaikum

dear Precious star ,

I was particularly interested in your story,I think you should not just search for single men in matrimonial s, instead why not look for men with children without mothers.I think there are many men who have lost their wives and struggling with kids why not be of help to them and shower them with your love and guide them in their lives.Inshaallah you will be greatly rewarded in both the worlds.

Ruqayyah 8 months ago

You had faith in Allah and he listened to you. You learnt it the hard way however only very little people learn it the easy way. You said wazeefa dutifully. Allah listened to you. May Allah bless us all.

...noor.... 8 months ago

DUA FOR DISTRESS

Allahumma rahmataka arjoo falaa takilnee ilaa nafsee tarfata 'aynin wa aslih-lee sha'nee kullahu, laa ilaha illa anta.

O Allah! It is Your mercy that I hope for so do not leave me in chargeof my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of myaffairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You.

...noor.... 8 months ago

May Allah swt accept the legtiamate duas and virtous deeds of all the ummah of prophet sallalahualiyewasalam & all the muslimin & muslimaat Ya Allah forgive our sins.. guide as all in the right path to do good deeds for the sake of Allah.. bless us all wiv happiness success set all our affairs right.

...noor.... 8 months ago

*salallahualiyewasalaam peace be upon him

Amatullah 8 months ago

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi t3ala wa baraktuhu,

Subhanallah t3ala, I am really glad I got to read your story sis.I was very depressed, and I suddenly found your story. I have gone through a lot, but alhamdulillah t3ala I'm out of it, but until today I get very depressed, its been 8 months. The guy I married was a hafiz, and he was becomming an alim, he had already completed 7 years, I myself am young, and becomming an alimah, I always wanted a very religious husband, who would love me, and help me in deen. I wanted a partner in worshipping ALLAH subhanahu wa t3ala, My marriage was arranged, he was the very first man I spoke to in my life, and I was very happy, because he had showed me so many wonderful dreams, and he was extremely kind and caring but then right after we got married, he totally changed, he had mental issues, and anger problems, he used to abuse me verbally and hit me, His family was extremely rude to me too,he had lied about everything before the marriage, and he broke every promise! I tried very hard to keep them happy, i used to do everything I can to satisfy them, but they were never happy. He used to take out his anger on me over such tiny things. After a week of marriage we went for hajj, and I cannot even express how many hardships I went through, my hajj was extremely difficult. I thought i would become mental, they abused me too much right in front of the kabah. He was so suspicious, I never talked to a guy in my life, but he always accused me, even though he always had my cell and the passwords to all my emails. He wasnt even religious, i have no idea what he learned in his alim course. His attire was islamic, but from the inside he was a beast. He prayed in the last minutes, he used to run from haram (how can someone go to the house of ALLAH, and hurry to leave!! and go to hotel to sleep, or eat, or shop??!!) He used to scream at my mother too! I really hated it, because my dad has passed away when i was young, and they took an advantage of that! I used to cry day and night. While we were doing rami, his and father and him threatened to kill me, they were forcefully going to take me to an island, and then they said they would beat me up. I dont know what I did to them, I tried my best to do as good as I can. After mashwarahs from ulema, my mother and I ran away from their hotel, then we returned to our country, and i asked for a divorce. After much more abuse, my iddah was torture from him, I finally was free. Now alhamdulillah t3ala I am a lot happier, im trying to get over it. But when I see my friends getting married, and they always talk about their husband, or how happy they are and stuff I get so depressed. People dont even try to get to know me, as soon as they hear im divorced, they say no. It hurts me so much when people talk to me asking if I would be happy with so and so rishta, then they never mention it again, and thats because the person who they were asking about doesnt want a divorcee, Why cant people ask the guy first before telling the girl? Dont they know we have a heart? I am very depressed, Since I was very young, everyone used to say your going to get such a wonderful husband, your so kind, and I literally used to do go out of my way for people, and still do, but I feel as if when it comes to them, they dont care about my feelings at all! Why dont people actually get to know a person before saying now, not all divorcees are guilty!

I know whatever ALLAH t3ala does is always for the best, I know he has something a lot better for me, its just a trial, but how do I get over the depression, this divorce has made me go far from ALLAH t3ala, and I dont want that! i want to be very close to him, how do I do that? How do I get myself to make dua and enjoy ibaadah? I love ALLAH t3ala, and I want to be his friend, and him to become mine, i want be closer to him than anyone else, but howww??

ismail 8 months ago

i got married and divorced within a year..2008/2009...i regret getting married but more than that i regret getting divorced now that i understand it's effect...ismail

nisha 8 months ago

i got love married before one year we were very happy few months but after that there are lots of misunderstanding and for silly things fight coming plz give me a solution plz

Nadia 8 months ago

Al-humdulillah, such a lovely end to your struggle. This is not the end of your happiness,I do believe Allah has got a lot more happiness for you as surprising gifts, InshaAllah ameen:)

I'm truly happy reading your story. May Allah spread His mercy all over the world!

Remember us in your prayer.

priya 8 months ago

I loved a guy he too loved me very much..we both were very close to each other .we use to share all our joys and sorrows to each other..

at time we were very understanding and days went happy..one day we went picnic with our friends .. while returning in bus my boys father saw us in bus ...and we got shocked....

and he asked his father to sit near with me and introduced me to his father as a friend ...he talked me well..but that was the time our love starts to breakdown...slowly that night my boys father planed to marry a girl to him.........my lover slowly changed his attitude on me ...after that one day to discuss about our life we met each other and i said to him that i love u very much so only i was very close to you....then slowly he said to me that sorry i cant maary you because you are a hindu girl and i m a muslim guy and you forget me ..... i asked to him then why you kissed me and why you was very close to me and now how i can i marry other person...he said that time i forget myself..i was very sad daily night i will never sleep i cant shoe this sadness to my family memebers so daily night i will cry that time i cant control my sadness i cant concenterate in studys and evrything..one again we had a chance to meet he said if you change to muslim i will marry you...but the next day he said dont want..as my lover said i cant forget him....from that time onwards daily more said on me now how can i marry other person??if i marry other person also i cant be happy with that person..one day i thought of die ..but my parents came on my mind so because for them now i m studying ..but all my sleep went away...i decided i dont want maariage in my life...and i decided to live for my parents...but still now i cant forget my lover i cant come out of this plz plz give me a solution........

Rhuby 8 months ago

Assalam o Alaikum

Subhaallah I have been in similar situation as the first sister above came for further study in uk, meet someone marry him against my family will and been with him for 7 years. I have been so much with him , 2 miscarriages, i even cut my wrist in the process,he used to beat me a lot , always deprived me of my right, bringing women in the house while i was working . It two years now since i have divorced him , I am a different person now, I have indulged myself in my deen and ahamdillah I felt very close to Allah SWT and Inshaallah I am planning to study to become an Alimah as well a chartered Accountant. I want to share a poem with all my beautiful sisters who have been through trials and tribulations and I make duahs might Allah make it easy for all of us as we are just in transit in this world .

Olives are pressed to get oil, fruit is squeezed to get the juice, flowers are crushed to make perfume.. These are just some of the methods used to get goodness out of things, so when u feel pressurized in life, then just remember that its Allah who is trying to get the best out of you.

Psich... Only Upon Guidance. 8 months ago

Salaam to all. May Allah confetti you all with His blessings and humble you all with His mercy and make things e a s y for you all. :)

The golden rule... 'smile' and the world smiles with you.

Hi! I'm a gentleman living in the Uk. and i can confirm that alhumdulilah, i've also had my fair share of problems.

They said, 'i'll never make it' and i said, 'Allah is too great to let me down' i turned to Him with a heart full of shame and eyes that were flowing like niagra falls and He answered my every dua. Alhumdulilah!

Brothers and sisters never ever ever give up hope in Allah. Believe you-me He is too great to let you's down. Be steadfast in any good that you may be doing and follow His guidance and you cannot loose.

I've been brokun hearted.. i've been inflicted with black magic... i've lost loved ones.. i've been down with heavy grief.... i've endured poverty... ive been in heavy debts with the loss of businesses (loseing 100's and thousand's of pounds)... i've been sick beyond thought... i've been pounded and ruined by my closest and dearest of friends.. i've endured humiliation from relatives... depression and sadness had become a part of my daily life... i've seen difficulties which left me no light of hope.... my health had rapidly weakened...

on Each & every occasion i thanked Allah (and on each and every occasion He eased my sufferings and showed me ways out of everything that had burdened me! ..now thats my God! i l o v e Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Dear brothers and sisters thank Allah for everything that happens to you wether it be good oR bad ...and in this you will find comfort. (dont ever give up)

remember the golden rule? implement it!

Im 31 now and since the age of 14 i've seen all the above mentioned. Each and everytime it is only Allah who helps me and you to overcome our problems / difficulties. He is the compassionate (in a way better than any dictionary is capable of defining the word) He knows exactly how you are feeling in the present as well as the past and future. And believe you-me this Creator of ours is truely spectacular... unique and unmatchable.

If you take Allah as your only helper then how can you be sad forever? If you have faith in Him then forget your past and move forward with the present into the future.. and remember Allah is as He says He is... closer to us than our jugular vein. He is with you and will love you to (if you love Him)

Praise none but Thee. Follow none but muhammed (pbuh) and be thankful no matter what and watch your life change for the better.

Try it today you big babies... 'smile' and also, smile the next time you make dua. Even if your hearts are crying. (dont forget... He already knows whats in your hearts!)

May Allah make it easy for us all.

A-a-ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

BATOOL 8 months ago

ASLAMALAKUM

SISTER EMMA. HOPE FINE.MAY ALMIGHTY ALLAH BLESS YOU WITH HAPPINESS. IS YOUR HUSBAND IS OK WITH YOU NOW. ARE YOU DOING ANY JOB. PLZ REMEMBERING ME & MY FAMILY IN YOUR DUAS.PLZ DUA FOR MY JOB. KEEP IN TOUCH, TAKE CARE

ALLAHA HAFIZ

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Sister BATOOL

So good to hear from you! I was thinking about you. How is everything? Is there any sign of improvement? Perhaps too ealry. Let me know how things are? I do remember u in my prayers, may Allah help me pray regularly.

My situation is complicated too. Recently I have reading Ayatul Kursi and Surah Ya-sin a lot as well as the 4 Kuls. I never wasted any time in thinking about or beleiving Jadu, jinns etc. I just did not think about the unseen. However, a couple of nights b4 I had a dream n I saw someone buried my husband in black soil. He allowed them to bury him alive. However, when they removed the soil from him he could not move himself at all. The person who buried him was moving him from here to there. This dream just confirms what I have been told about jadu or I dont know what it means. I told him about it, but he is not going to seek help or anything. If anyone has any advice on the issue plz let me know.

As for everyday living, well my focus is on myself. I try to keep myself connected with Allah through prayers and meditations, I find meditation very useful in establishing connection. Getting a life of my own, dont want anybody else to hold the key to my happiness, socialising with people who are genuinely nice n not paying so much attention to my relationship with my husband. Probably thats why havent had a fight for a while ..lol..Had a job interview, but didnt get it bcos they dont want to pay me a salary equivalent to my previous salaries. Need to apply more n I am also writing a short story. As for my mum (n my dad who passed away), who is also in need of help I read "rabbi raham-huma kama rabba yaani sagheera" many times a day. I dont know whatelse I can do.

I can imagine things are harder in India, but you are an intelligent n educated girl and I believe you will be able to establish urself in whatever you do. May Allah grant you Happiness, Peace n Success. Keep me updated sister

Rhuby 8 months ago

Salaam Sister ,

I just read your mesage about the jadoo and your dream , the best thing for you is either to listen to surah al baqara or read it .Surah baqara is very good for black magic as well you can read surah manzil u can find it on you tube , I have been affected by jadoo as well, Ahamdillah Surah baraqa is the best of the cure . www.quran explorer .com .May Allah protect u and ur family from the evil .

Emma 8 months ago

Thanks for ur advice sister Rhuby.

Hafz 8 months ago

I think so thing wrong with my head what shall I do

Emma 8 months ago

Dear Hafz

U did not say why u think there is something wrong with ur head?

Even if there is something wrong for some reason than I suggest that u tell urself at least 15 times a day that there is NOTHING WRONG with ur HEAD. Also do ur prayers and read or losten to the surahs that have been mentioned by a sister above ur message. If possible meditate, just type: www.brahmakumaris.com

NEVER LET URSELF BELIEVE THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG IN UR HEAD.

If u want to share ur story than plz do so, it might help others to advise u better. Good luck

Batool 8 months ago

Aslamalakum

Dear Sister Emma. hope fine. Thanks for your massage. May Allah protect u and ur family from the evil and grant you happiness. my situation is same. sometime my husband is good to me, sometime he shows me his anger. But i have very strong belief on my ALMIGHTY ALLAH. I try to pray five time regularly, but sometime i cant do so because of my son as he is very small. May ALMIGHTY ALLAH HELP ME TO PRAY REGULARLY. Plz keep on praying. Take care. keep on writing as i need my sister moral support.

Allah Hafiz

MARYAM 8 months ago

Asalam ...........

Hai Iam 42 years women qualification B.A have two children daughter in 7 std , son in 2puc , due to some financial problems as well personal problems iam working in a construction company as a receptionist ... i have lot of stress at work my boss is a short temper & anger type of human His younger brother one of Director he does nt see women in good ways iam fed up of these people & i feel stressed ...... iam just fed up of this job & i have to earn & also i feel as now iam in my 42 & i may nt get job & also i dont know much of computers ....... iam just tensed & worried

.... i didnt share my problem with my family

also iam worried i dont know much of computers & also iam now 42 where will i get a JOB

no prayers are helping me to come out of

jazal ALLAH

AMI 8 months ago

Assalamu alaikum

Lots of problems above,i thought I could share mine as well.Alhamdulillah its not with relationships.An accident 3 years ago has ruined my happiness,iam left with scars which are embarrassing.I had great dreams of a great career and when there seemed a real good oppurtunity this occured.Now I donot have the courage to meet or mix with new people .The past three years were extremely painful physically and then mentally.I am filled with so many negative thoughts, from here it seems as though every decision i had taken in the past was wrong and has led me to this situation,

I have a feeling that nomatter how much i pray I cannot change my past or future nor Iam able to accept my present situation ,so I keep starting and discontinuing dhikirs.Iam swaying between belief and frustration. Patience is an easy word to say but tough to practice.

Abdullah (Perbat) 8 months ago

Mashallah Allah bless u sister with more happiness. Now a day i am also facing a tough time of my life please all pray for me that Allah Help me.

Fahmi 8 months ago

assalamu alaikum

The comment posted by A sami is true and educative,jazakallah .Yes sisters do you realise that if you had worn the hijab and lowered your gaze and not encouraged talks with non mehrams you would not have been in these situations

Anyways the doors of forgiveness are always open so return back to your creator and hold firmly to His religion,the religion of the prophets and say as the QURAN commands .

Say: "Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds:

[Transliteration] Qul inna salatee wanusukee wamahyaya wamamatee lillahi rabbi alAAalameena

There is no peace without Islam and there is no way other then submission to the will of Allah.Quran is the cure for the diseases of the heart keep reading it.May Allah guide us all.

Al-Anaam [6:116] Wert thou to follow the common run of those on earth, they will lead thee away from the Way of Allah. They follow nothing but conjecture: they do nothing but lie

The Sin Man 8 months ago

Dear Muslim Brothers & Sisters,

I am in really trouble.In last 1-1/2 years had a really bad luck.I was happy with my life doing my job in a city away from my parents.I got a really good offer in my own city.I was asked to resign to get the said job.I did the same and submitted my resignation.My boss and other co workers really stopped me but I had greed of money in my mind and told lies with them.When I reached in my next job without no reason they canceled the appointment letter which they had issued to me.I waited and kept on applying other places.I passed many tests and interviews but nothing materialized.Everyone appreciated my skills but Every time the matter had broken when I was about to grab the thing materially.I had been jobless for last 1 year so applied for foreign studies I worked really hard and got admission in a free of cost university.I completed all the documents and submitted my case in embassy,this time again I was failed,my visa was rejected although everyone except me got it.In the mean time I had lost a confirm job offer from abroad because I had given my passport for visa.I spent much money in completing documents and traveling for job hunting.

Now I am jobless and have no option.I do not belong to a financially strong family.

Please pray for me.

Sofia 8 months ago

I watched that Tafseer...

vishal 8 months ago

i was amazed after reading ur heart touching story..i dint control on my emotions one time of reading this i start crying but in the end i feel there is nothing impossible whn we put our faith in god...in the end i heartily thanks for your post...may god give u all happiness which u want.

Fahmi 8 months ago

While surfing i found this Dua taught by Ali(A.S)(though sunni I dont feel difficult adding A.s which means Alaihissalam coz salam is the Islamic greeting for both living and dead).It is Dua -e-mashlool an excellent dua seeking help through Allah's beautiful names.Thanks to the shia brothers to have preserved this dua.

Mahammed Kaleemullah 8 months ago

Since 15 months I am jobless, with out any mistake, unfortunately they terminated me from service, I was Working in Gulf for Multinational Company as Senior OFficer

unknown 8 months ago

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

May ALLAH bless all of you happiness. I am facing lots of trouble in these days, i am very depress and praying dua all the time, I can't share my problem but I would like to tell all of you my brothers and sisters please pray for me that Allah answer my prayer, I have a complete faith on ALLAH. ALLAH always answered all of my prayers in past, but this time i been praying dua since last 7 month but have'nt recived any answer yet, but I do belive whatever ALLAH does is always good for his childrens, and I have a faith one day my dua will come true but please brothers and sister pray for me as i really want my dua come true soon please.

May AllAH bless all of us and make it easy for all of us.

Please pray for me I really need my dua come true, I really need ALLAH help, I am very depress please pray for me. Thanks

Sophie Suleman 8 months ago

@Batool , What Kind of work you are looking for , Please let me know if I can help you and email me at drsophiesuleman@hotmail.com

Thanks

Sophie

Shazia 8 months ago

Asalamalaikum Sisters,

All I wanted to tell u is that please dont fall in love coz it hurts a lot it gives more pain. Better love Allah SWT & Mohammed Mustafa Sallalahu Alaihi wasalam we will be rewarded in Duniya & Akhirath. Nowadays there is no true love in this world. Its only lust that people love love has become a playing game so pls my dear sisters dont waste your time in this. May Allah bless all of us & May he forgive our sins. pls do remember me in ur precious duas....

Muslimah 7 months ago

@ Maria84

Assalamu ALaykum,

He should look at this website ..

http://www.blackmagicremoveswithquran.com/2009/06/

Do you have any of those symptoms?

May ALLAH swt help you Ameen ya rab..

Take Care

Mudi 7 months ago

@Maria84.

May Allah cleanse your heart, body and soul with the water of zamzam and count you amongst those who shall be the inheritors of Jannat on account of their good deeds in this life and the next. Ameen.

Muslimah 7 months ago

* You

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria84

If have tried ur best to love a person and could not do so for whatever reason than I think your should not marry him. Ask urself how will u feel when u will have to share ur personal space with this person in a very intimate relationship?

Islam doesnt ask anyone to make such sacrifice at all. U want to enjoy ur married life in harmoney, not in regrets and guilt.So do not marry a person u do not like, pull urself together and say No, b4 its too late.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear sister BATOOL

Salam

Do not worry too much about anything,everything will be just fine. U have strong faith in Allah, surely Allah is aware of all ur plights. Just ask Allah for help for He is the One with all the Power.

May Allah also protect u from all evil n grant u unlimited peace n happiness. Keep in touch n take care

amina 7 months ago

Selamun alejkum

My husbant worked sandwich maker before,He left the job because sheyk sed is haram becouse use meet from pig. But now he doesnt have e job about about 1 year and haf, HE cant finde the job.Any dua for job please zazakalla kajren.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria84

Why dont u do Istekara n see what will happen if u were to marry or not marry this man?

I can imagine the pressure that u n ur family is experiencing, but marrying someone just to help them gain something is not quite right. Ur friends say things that only upsets u now becos this match is not the right one for u. If it was the right match u would have loved these comments.

If u think u r still in love with the boy u used to chat with n never met than may be find out if this is the reason. Love is a wonderful thing n I would say one who has never experienced love hasnt lived a life. However, there are a lot of players in this world who disguise themselves as lovers, may Allah protect all souls from such people.

sana 7 months ago

salam! reading some of your posts really really makes me cry! im in so much pain too and i have no idea what to do! i was with this guy for five years and of course we would have gotten married once our studies were done but a couple months ago he went to pakistan with his family and they got him married to his cousin. it was completely against his will and he found out about it two days before it was about to take place. he didnt even tell me about it till he came back here. we both love each other so much and we really wanted to spend our lives together. his wife calls him all the time and he ignores her calls and im sure all this hurts her too. their rukhsati hasnt taken place yet but a nikaah was done. im just sooooooo upset with this whole situation. i try so hard to focus on other things but this kills me every minute of my life.his parents have never seen me or talked to me but they knew that me and him have been together for five years. i just dont know why they would do this to us? arent parents supposed to want the best for their children? just because a girl doesnt grow up in pakistan doesnt mean she wont make a good wife! the girl hes married to is only 19 and sometimes i think that i should call her and talk to her and maybe she would understand but then again why give another sister pain? i pray all the time and i really hope that there is a way out of this! please remember me in prayers!

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria84 and Sana

Well it seems u got too many problems even b4 u got married. Now would it be wise to enter a marriage with that many issues?

With regards to istikhara I have been told it is best to be done by the person who is seeking guidance from Allah. Any guidance u get is unlikely to be a wrong one for u bcos our prophet swa used to do it b4 taking any decisions on serious matters.

Emma 7 months ago

p.s

Sana I think u should ask the guy to take a decision. I can understand ur pain n how devostated it must have been 4 u.He should have told the girl's family about u instead of giving into the pressure. That would have stopped the marriage, possibly.Now he has to make a decision with honesty,sensitivity and courage. He has put himself in a very difficult situation.I would also say until u both get married to each other avoid any intimacy bcos it will only bring more sorrow n for this reason Allah has made it haram.

There is no doubt our parents love us but that doesnt necessarily mean that they know what is best for us.

Kamran Ahmed Rohaila 7 months ago

Dear first i am very appreciate about yours giving great knowledge of islamic source to solving the problems and our life is full of problems and we are not able to face him but the best solve of it that is our Great GOD ALLAH and his prophet(P.B.U.H) my life is also going day by day down but my all iman trust on GOD he will make my life up inshallah and i will start reciting as you show above and pray for me and my family thanks

kami5 7 months ago

Nowadays in all over the world, people of all communities and faiths are suffering, due to Famine, Floods, Earthquake, Bomb blasts, Extremist activities, Unemployment Problems, Global economic meltdown, Tsunami, Law & Order Problems and also various kinds of diseases. Most of these could be avoided if mankind can refine its path of life by adopting God's will in people's life.

maria84 7 months ago

thanks u very much sister Emma for ur kidness. I will try to do istikhara, i'll see if I have the courage to do it. Thanks may allah accept ur dua :)

xyz 7 months ago

i am really in tension would not able to decide what to do or not plz pray for me

no name 7 months ago

suffering with black magic and i dont know what to do i'm unable to believe anybody around me i dont find any cure for it please tell me what to do i'm losing hope day by day and i'm afraid i will do something wrong to myself or my family or they get effected to it by me every time i'm so scared having negative thoughts which is eating me from inside

AMI 7 months ago

http://www.blackmagicremoveswithquran.com/2009/06/

Do you have any of those symptoms?

May ALLAH swt help you Ameen ya rab..

Take Care

copied from maria84

AMI 7 months ago

@ no name

Muslimah 3 days ago has given alink to remove black magic

maria84 7 months ago

@ami

u mean muslimah, she did post this website.

Emma 7 months ago

To No Name

I read in the Quran sometging like that Black Magic cannot harm anyone without Allah's permission. So do not believe that black magic is working on u. Key to ur recovery is ur belief that u r in control of ur thoughts, ur actions n ur life and no one has any control over u. U alone make take decision over all ur actions and ur thoughts. Also read or listen to the Quran (there are good youtube links specifically for curing black magic) just google it n nothing bad will happen to u.

If u r having negative thoughts than its important to learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You can do this by listening to guided meditaions, also google it. Prayers are quite good as well. U might have to practice a lot of guided meditation n do them regularly, I am sure u will soon become a positive person who can trust themselves n others.Once ur negatives thoughts are replaced with positive ones u will feel light, energetic, peaceful and happy.

Worse thing u could do to urself is lose hope n lose ur freedom to choose the type actions u want to perfom.

To Maria 84

I hope u find peace n happiness n plz remember me in ur prayers.

Emma 7 months ago

http://youtu.be/0OHHWagJ6mY

Cure For BLACK MAGIC

Fahmi 7 months ago

AssalamuAlaikum

God has given a guarantee in the Quran to His servants that He will answer their prayers, “And your Lord says, “Call upon me, I will answer your prayer.” (40:60)

Elsewhere in the Quran, He says, “When My servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close to them. I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls upon Me. Let them also with a will listen to My call and believe in Me, that they walk in the right way.” (2:186)

Dua Kumayl

A man named Kumayl ibn Ziyad once asked Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib for a way to approach God. In response, Imam Ali gave him a touching prayer and told him to recite it every day if he could, or once a week, or once a year - and if reciting it once a year was too difficult then to recite it at least once in his lifetime. This prayer became known as “Dua Kumayl” (the prayer of Kumayl). Many Muslims recite this supplication once a week on Thursday night.

“In the name of Allah, the Most Infinitely Merciful, the Most Compassionate.

O Allah, I ask You by Your Mercy which embraces all things.

By Your Strength, through which You dominate all things, toward which all things are humble, and before which all things are lowly.

By Your Invincibility, through which You overwhelm all things.

By Your Might, which nothing can resist.

By Your Greatness, which has filled all things.

By Your Power, which towers over all things.

By Your Face, which subsists after annihilation of all things.

By Your Names, which have filled the foundations of all things.

By Your Knowledge, which encompasses all things; and

by the Light of Your Face, through which all things are illuminated!

O Light! O All-Holy!

O First of the first and Last of the lLast!

O Allah, forgive me those sins which tear apart safeguards!

O Allah, forgive me the sins which bring down adversities!

O Allah, forgive me the sins which alter blessings!

O Allah, forgive me the sins which hold back supplication!

O Allah, forgive me the sins which dash all hopes!

O Allah, forgive me the sins which bring about tribulation!

O Allah, forgive me every sin I have committed and every mistake I have made!

O Allah, verily I seek nearness to You through remembrance of You, I seek intercession from You with Yourself, and I ask You through Your Munificence, to bring me nearer to Your Mercy, to bless me with gratitude to You and to inspire me with Your remembrance.”

Notes:

[79] An-Najm, chapter 53.

[80] Ash-Shams, chapter 91.

[81] Nahj al-Balagha (The Peak of Eloquence), sermon #176.

maria84 7 months ago

Hi sister emma

thanks for ur message.

Today i got very bad news and i have been crying all day long. Im so sad and i wish suicide was not haram. I just wish allah would allowed that. I have been crying for 5-6 hours. I cant tell here why but i have never been feeling like I do now. I prayed a lot and thought everything would be ok but its not. I just wished allah wouldnot let suicide to be haram. I dont understand why he made it. I have been the most patient...always I been a person with patience but today im so sad and i dont wanna live anymore. I know this is just the beginning and my life will be worse than this. Its so funny that i tought it would be bettter and it came out that it didnot. Im so sad.

Plz ifirdous. Delete my earlier messages here. Plz do it. Maybe in the future someone will read this messages and i dont wanna any of my lovely closest family members to read it and think of me. I cant tell how I have been and always tought about patience..but today im so tired of it. Some people who said they would help me out with problem no matter what decision I take, today they are just ignoreing my mails. Its very mean of them. Until my husband paper and stuff like that, was not done...they were like we will help u but today when he dont need my help anymore..they just ignored me and that made me very very sad today and i of course emailed them back and told them...be happy for reaching ur goals and inshalla soon, and i hope soon i'll leave them for ever inshalla. Hope allah can help me and forgive me

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria84

I dont know what ur real situation is but I will say one thing and thats it is not worth dying for anyone or anything. So dont even think about it.

ami 7 months ago

@Maria84

have patience and keep saying "HasbiAllah wa neamal wakeel,neamal mowla wa neaman naseer'.

sufficient is allah for me,The best of friends the best of support and the best of Help.

Inshaallah Two years from now You will be astonished that you were crying for such things

anu 7 months ago

i have so much tention so much problms in my life.always confusions in taking decesion.i dont know wht to do for all ? plz give me some duwas for peace of my mind n to solve my problms plz.i need help from u.i hope u will.....first of all i need duwa for barkath n better life.n plz all of u make duwa for my sister. plz plz do duwa for us.

syed waseem mahmood 7 months ago

i was loss my id card .But i dont know which prayar i want to read. plz help me plz .i have many problems plz help me plz plz plz plz .

Aftab 7 months ago

My sisters

Emma & ifirdous

Sallam how have u been ? I c u girls are going strong n keeping up the great work it's so nice of both of u .

And it's really appreciated by everyone

Muhammad 7 months ago

ASSALAMU ALAIKUM MA DIA RESPECTED BROZAs AN SIS IN ISLAM AM HIGHLY DELIGTED 2 FIND OUT ABOUT THIS SITE COZ IT MEKS ME 2 REALY BELIEF IN FAITH MA PRBLEM IS DAT AM A YOUNG GRADUATE, ATLIST I SPEND 1 YEAR WITH OUT A JOB SO PLZ I NEED A DU'A THAT WIL HELP ME SCURE A JOB...THNX

Islamic Stuffs 7 months ago

I am so happy for you sis that your life changed but One thing I Would like to add is that never lose hope in Allah!

By the way, I have just set up an Islamic Store in order to earn some money so as to help poor and disabled people. I am also thinking of creating an organisation for them also but that needs money. If you want you can promote it in whatever way you want.

N.B: All the products that you will buy on my store, will be considered as a donation.

My site: http://astore.amazon.com/islamic-stuffs-20

Islamic Stuffs 7 months ago

you can also check out the book "The Power of Dua - An Essential Muslim Guide to Increase the Effectiveness of Making Dua (Supplication) to Allah (God)"

Here's the link: http://astore.amazon.com/islamic-stuffs-20/detail/

Maria84 7 months ago

im feeling a bit better today but that day was a nightmare. i just didnt feel well and i got bad news, after that i cried...later in the night i couldnt fell in sleep...so much headick and i had pain in my teeth...maybe i got into to much stress and got so worried, i tried to sleep but couldnt so i got up and took my taspe and was lying in my bad reciting ayatul kursi..believe it or not..but some minutes later..i fall in asleep..thats was a good relieve..in the morning when I woke up..i was not that sad or had not any pain anymore..dua helped me..yesterday i was good all the day but today I have been down a bit again but i will continue with my duaa...thanks ami, i will inshalla recite the dua u have written

Noorkh786 7 months ago

I came across this website sum time ago after googling wut duas to read as I was experiencing sum problems in my life. I finally decided to come by and register, reading other ppls stories does give me sum hope and makes me feel that I am not the only person in this world experiencing such problems in life. It all started wen I was 16 1/2 my parents thought about sumone for me and it was for my betterment to with this arranged marriage thing. I got nikaahed at 16 1/2 and since 2003 until now everything in my life has been a mess. This guy only wanted his papers and did not want anything else since he was in an obvious need and overstayed his visa in the US. Well, long story short that didnt last too long as he started to change and I was living with my parents and he was with his and he was cheating on me during this time since this wasnt a "real marriage" to begin with. I felt like wut did I ever do to go thru such things at a young age, I cudnt enjoy my hs years like everyone else since I had this going on. I came to find out couple months into this that was the reason he married and that obviously ended. I feel like his mother cursed me and my family cuz her son cudnt stay here and get his greencard and ever since then Ive had distress in life. I was in a serious relationship with a guy for 2 years and he ended up leaving too after his family disapproved his marriage to sumone that was married before and they were overly conservative... During that time I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was scared outta my mind since I was only 22 and didnt know wut wud happen to me? :( I took this breakup really hard since I really liked the guy and cudnt understand wut and why all this was happening? I just felt like I took too much on my mind and became extremely depressed... I was in denial since this was the longest relationship I was in after my breakup with the ex.... I came to know last nite that hes getting married. He had informed me that this will be happening very soon and I didnt know wut to say. Well, my story continues with this guy I met the beginning of this year and we started to like one another couple months into this and he ended up being the most short-tempered person Ive ever met... It hurts that ppl tell u they love u and understand all ur pain and end up being a totally different person later on and now he likes sumone else and has obviously moved on. Im not only depressed but ive given up to the point were i dnt expect anything anymore and feel like im cursed to always come across such ppl. I think anyone in my place wud feel the same way and I dnt wanna sound like im complaining cuz im sure theres ppl in a worst position than me, but my mind sumtimes just feels like idk wut i did to deserve all this? I alwys wish good for others, and feel like theres too much tests that ive been given at a very young age. Im 25 now and feel like the past 8 1/2 yrs of my life have been horrible... its sad cuz all the time i shouldve been enjoying my life worry free, i became a person that I never thought I woudl turn into... depressed, hopeless, and sucha loner. I do wanna do namaaz, but I feel like things never change in my life and we all have a heart. I see everyone around me that I know is happily married and has kids but Im alone and havent changed from wut I was 8 1/2 yrs ago divorced... and ppl make that a big issue too if they wanna pursue u for marriage. Please advise this hopeless individual and may Allah help all of you that are experiencing difficulty and reward those that take the time to listen and suggest to other ppls problems.

Noor

Noorkh786 7 months ago

salaam everyone, and particularly "Unknown 1"

I guess I didnt get a chance to really look at this blog in depth as I was really stressed abt sharing my story with all of u.

First and foremost, I would like to thank Allah (SWT) for giving me this resource to use now since there are a lot of positive things written here. I am very inspired by the sister that shared her story and I dont know what at the time was stopping me to come back here and talk a little more about my distress (prob. Shaitaan) and I am so glad that I came back and fought that depression that was building inside of me and the best thing to do is to fight that depression at the time wen its at its peak. Its nice that ppl share there personal hardships and let others feel that there are ppl that have faced similar things and most of Allah (SWT) does listen and helps us through those times.

@Unknown 1: I am very inspired by reading ur heart-touching story. Uve definitely put a lot of thought and emotion and hardwork into this and believe me this will help many of us that have become lazy or kindda fallen off track but may Allah reward u and all of those that put their hard work into this to help others. I was thinking abt this blog and how many of waste our times on other social networking sites like fb, chatting with friends (myself included) and wuts more beneficial is to read things like this cuz in the end its our emaan and deen that will matter the most. Your story was very well written and may Allah reward u for spreading the word of Islam and all the other brothers and sisters on this site! Ameen

Noor :)

Specifically,

xyz 7 months ago

hey guys help me also give me some views bcoz i am also in tension i was in relasionship with a guy from last 5 yrs nw he is saying that he wil not marry me but he loves me a lot a very big fight has happenend with both the family but still he loves me a lot bcoz of all this i am in tension pray for me n help me to sort this problem n plz pray for me plz

syeda 7 months ago

Hello sister,

I heard the duas have the power to change and your akidah plays the role in all this. Well my problem is that i'm girl who is 24 yrs old. i have never gone out with anyone in my life ever and i don't want to either. I'm more than marriageable age and i don't have anyone in the world apart from my father who is keeping unwell these days..he wants me to get married. I feel torn because i somehow lost interest in the institution of marriage for myself listening so many cases of my far distant cousins and most the guys are so proudy in the place i reside and greedy for money. I completely understand my dad's concern but i don't know my mind. My dad is good but he actually doesn't know how to communicate with people at times he gets abusive and angry most the time. i hope my mind gets sorted for all this and so does my dad's way to treat others

rehan 7 months ago

i need help my wife is liveing me ineed help pls in mail id rehan.khan8727@gmail.com

maria84 7 months ago

@noor

im very sorry for u, i hope allah make things better for u and give ur all happiness. Hope u can marry a guy that u can live with happily for the rest of ur live.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@Maria:Thanks for ur well wishes and I hope things get better for me too sumday InshAllah. Idk wut ur real situation is I can understand how hard sumtimes things can be for us but plz dnt hurt urself for sumone else. I learned a lot in life and trust me its not easy I totally understand that all I can say is its best to leave sumthings in Allah's hands, HE knows wut we dont. Hope u r happy too for the of ur life.

Unknown 7 months ago

Salaam Alaykum

'Emma and Noor'

Tonight i felt weird and my mind was contemplating alot of things and so i sat down just lookin at the screen of my p.c. I then suddenly remember this website.

I havent posted or visited this site since i wrote my story above 4 weeks ago.

But as i scrolled through all the messages left from others, it gave me joy to see people still here replying to others in need of a friend with som advice.

I mean Emma in particular. As i scrolled down the page i kept seein Emma posting messages replying to others giving great advice and kind words. And so i would like to just give some thought to all the people here on this page helping others and doing good deeds. You may not realise it but even small things like giving advice to someone in need of Allah makes you better as a muslim.

So i pray to Allah that you may be given a high place in the company of the ONE, creater and sustainer of all the worlds. Allah.

Emma you may not remember me but you also gave me some kind words after readin my post, but i would just like to say thank you for your work. You are a beautiful woman and a good friend it seems. Hope to see you up in heaven Inshallah.

@ Noorkh786, i am not sure if it was me that you intended your message to but it seemed like it was. The reason i say this is becoz there were a few others who named themselves 'unknown' after i posted my story.

Anyway i'm glad to hear that my story inspired you and i hope that you find some of the things i wrote useful in life.

I have read your story too and i would like to say that even though you may think that 8 years of your life has been a waste and nothing but misfortune, believe me Allah knows which we know not. Something in all that time must of happend to make you a better person. Struggle only make you tougher and stronger. And by having faith through rough times makes your Imaan stronger.

Read the book of life. The Qur'an. I call it the book of life becoz it is the book of life. Some people say to read a certain surah to help with certain problems but if you read the whole Qur'an then wont it solve all your problems. Ryt..

This is what you should do, read the Qur'an and study it and the life of the prophet S.A.W and the ummah.

Once you start to increase your knowledge in the reality which Allah has sent down to us. Once you start to read the Qur'an, Gods word, the book of life as i refer to it. Life will become easier. Inshallah.

I leave u all to the hands of Allah and pray that he guides you to the straight path, the real path of a Muslim and that we may all acheive the greatest triumph. Jannah, inshallah.

1 MAN, 1 GOD, 1 LUV - "see dis n u know its me, as i dont giv my name."

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@ Unknown 1:

Salaam, how are you? I am so happy to see your reply, thanks for getting back to me. Yes, my message was intended for u and I narrowed it down to " UNKNOWN 1" cuz i saw more ppl with the name unknown.

I did find ur story very useful, and many of the other ppl here that have posted there real experiences. I do see wut ur saying and ur right that this has definitely made me a stronger person and ive accomplished a lot through my educational goals and now I would like to make myself a better muslim inshAllah. Id definitely say that there have been sum tough times, but it is Allah that helps us overcome that. Sumtimes I do think abt those bad times I went thru and wud think wen will things get better? wen wud I be in my normal day to day life and here I am writing to you in my normal life alhamdulillah and going to school, working and living with my family thanks to Allah (SWT.)

I do think that everything happens for a reason and there mustve been a reason Allah made me find this website and all of us that are contributing to it. Im so grateful that the sister that posted this and all the other ppl that give such kind words, yourself included.

Wen u said to read the Quran, my mom had told me to read all of it in translation to understand it in English and apply it to daily life. Its very straightforward and everything that Allah has written is so logical and easy to understand, its us that make it difficult on ourselves.

InshAllah I plan on reading the Quran in detail and praying since Ive been away from that and may Allah forgive me and those that are far from our deen.

May Allah reward you for such kind words and taking the time to write over here. I think this blog is a great idea and I hope and pray that who ever has problems they are solved and we all benefit from this and become better muslims InshAllah and Ameen! :) take care

-- Noor

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

@ Rehan: I'm no expert but I would highly suggest that u try to give this sum time as rushing into anything always has negative consequences. Next, it's best to read: "ya hayyu ya qayyum birahmatika astaghees" as this helps with the worry u have & to read "hasbanallah wa naymul wakeel" as much as u can remember. May Allah make ur problem easier and help u ameen

xyz 7 months ago

i need a help we both love each other n want to talk n meet each other but bcoz of our family members we are not talking plz pray for me n give me some views n dua to solve my problem plz pray for me plz

Batool 7 months ago

Aslamalakum

Dear sister Emma.How are you, hope fine. yes you are very beautiful person.it seems.may ALMIGHTY ALAHA bless you with happiness and peace. Keep on rembering me & my mother & all muslima in you prayers.

Alaha Hafiz

Muslimaah 7 months ago

Asc, I saw this page today and mashallah i am happy for you that everything is good with you now and that you are happy.

My problem is that i love this guy very much and he is kind off a bad guy (like he has a tattoo but he is muslim) I wanna show him the right side of islam but i don't know how to do it. I wanna also know if it is haram to help him even though we are like together but ofcourse i wanna marry him.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear sisters Batool, Maria 84, brothers Unknown & Aftab

Guys ur duas and affections have filled my heart with happiness and joy. It means a lot to me. May Allah always keep you all happy and protect you from all evils.

Unknown bro why dont u give urself a name? U have acquired quite a lot of wisedom from ur own pain, its trully admirable.I know how hard its to survive in this world without a family. Like urs my own family(my mother and my siblings) also disintigrated. I tried to help them, but not only did my effort and money got wasted, I almost destroyed myself in the process. After years of trail ans error I have emotionally separated myself from them in order to save my own sanity and to be a good and pleasant human being. As a result, now I am able to pray for them and their wellbeing n dont disrespect or hate them which I used to b4 bcos of the pain they were causing me. Anyway bro if u need a sister in faith I will be here for you.

I hope things are going well with u Batool, let me know sis how have u been doing. An update is long over due Aftab n u know it.

Take care guys

Emma 7 months ago

p.s @Muslimaah

As far as I know helping someone to the right path is never haram. Infact there is higher reward for such deeds, however, having an intimate relationship outside marriage is haram, regardless of ur intention to marry.

Someone ones told me that our body is our chariot or costume entrusted to us by Allah and we should respect it protect it and take good care of it.

maria84 7 months ago

@Noorkh786

Salam! thank u for wishing me ..oh i cant explain here..im so sad and depressed cause somethings that i never imagined would happen, is going on today and it hurts me a lot. .. today and yesterday i have been down again..and im trying to think of positive things or think about others with bigger problem but its not helping but at the same time, i have some hope and that makes me feel a bit better.. its feel that now a days everyone is suffering...its too bad..the one positive thing with my problem is that my deen, my trust to allah has been bigger...i used to pray before but today im trying to pray all the 5 times and dont miss any...but inshalla ar rahman ar raheem I hope Allah with help us all...every night before I go to sleep, I visit this website..I love this website..It gives me hope and calms me down....every post and message I read, i try to pray for that person and everytime someone answer my messages or others messages.. i get happy..it feels so nice that here ar people who is trying to help and support. esp thanks to EMMA who is answering almost every post..

Muslimaah 7 months ago

@ Emma

Thank yuuh very much but if i am trying to build the relationship up so that he gets better and after that we will get married or something .. would that work or is it wrong to do that?

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@ Maria:

Salaam, hope ur feeling a little better than before. Im glad you come to this website just as much as I do and I look forward to reading new posts and writing sum too. I know its a personal matter for u and wutever it is I hope Allah helps u overcome that and makes everything better and to the best of ur favor inshAllah.

I know it is hard, its not easy and thats probably the biggest test for us. I try to look at other ppl too and be happy cuz my family is with me and most of all ur parents are the biggest blessing u can have. It may seem like so many things are difficult at this point in time, iA time will heal that and make things better iA.

I felt the same way last nite, guess I was kindda reminded by my past and how sum hurtful things were said.... so I know how sad one can be. Ur absolutely rite and im glad u brought this up that the most important thing we have is trust in Allah (SWT) which is the biggest and most essential thing to us here.

Its good ur happy to read these posts and on a good note ur not alone experiencing ur difficulties... which gives me some hope. Yes, I noticed Emma is doing a tremendous job and is very patient to answer every post and helping those that are in difficulty! May Allah reward her and all those that are helping one another in times of hardship ameen.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear ifirdous

U started this blog with the intention of helping others and I am sure people have been benefitting from your inspiring experience, especially those who are on the brink of losing faith in Allah and in theselves. I am merely trying to make a contribution and would feel very happy if it has in anyway helped anyone. Thanks for your kind words and please do remember me in your prayers.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Noor

I read ur post and it has touch my hear.I completely understand how it feels like to be transferred from your childhood into the grown ups' world over a night in the name of marriage and live upto other people's expectations.

Well put ur past behind u, n move forward, your whole life is ahead of u.

If u live in London then I would recommed u to attend a conference on "Letting the Past Go", organised by Brahma Kumaris. It is completely free and everyone is welcome. Its taking place on 9th October at Ilford Central Library at 6.30 pm-8pm. (U also get to enjoy a free meal, dont tell anyone ..lol.)

maria84 7 months ago

@Noorkh786

Salam, i can tell u abt my problem. I will do it later tonight or tomorrow inshalla. ..maybe it wont sound a big problem but for me its so big and i cant stop thinking abt it.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Emma,

Salaam thanks for the reply. Yes ur rite about the whole transformation from adolescence to adulthood which happened way too fast. Ive moved on but deep down inside u still have all that which sumtimes haunts u...

Unfortunately, I dnt live in London Im from the US. But thank you anyways for the info. I do have a friend in the UK and I will pass along that info too her if u dnt mind. Tc and hope to talk to you soon.

Noor

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@ Maria:

Salaam, how are you? sure thats fine u can tell me tonight or tomorrow.I know u did say u werent comfortable talking about it publicly?

The more u think abt it the more itll bothe u. I know its easier said than done, but theres only so much u can do and take rite? And the more u think itll stress u out more and mentally drain you. Im sure u have other things going on in ur life too. I kindda do the same thing and spend way too much time thinking so much which ended up making me sick by giving me migraine headaches :( which I kindda feel like today at work.... well I hope u feel a little better and wut I read wenever I feel distressed (and I also told this to Rehan here) is to continuously read:

1)YA HAYYU YA QAYYUM BI RAHMATIKA ASTAGHEES

2) HASBANALLAHU WA NAYMUL WAKEEL

Maybe u already know this and im sure u do but train ur mind to read this wenever u feel sad or that "thought" comes into ur mind and I hope u feel better hun.

tc ttyl

Noor :)

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Noor

Salam. Sure ur friend is most welcome to join the event. Anyone can attend this event and also the courses run by Brahma kumaris, they r completely free. They also have a few centres in the USA, if u like, findout if they have a centre near u. I personally benefitted a lot n thats why I highly value BKs services.

U might need to get that pain out of ur system so that it no longer hurts u. A apart from BKs teachings n meditation, I also found Eckhart Tolle,s "the Power of Now" and "Practicing the Power of Now" books very helpful. For meditation Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat,Pray, Love" book is invaluable.

I used to get really bad headache n the back of my head used to feel heavy all the time. As a result of meditation I no longer get the headache, I feel light, energised n happy. My mind is more focused now n when I pray my mind remians still, I feel I can connect with Allah. I hope ur pain vanishes soon n u can talk about or look at ur past, if u wish to, without any pain or sorrow. Take care

maria84 7 months ago

@Noorkh786

Salam, I tought Ifirdous had deleted my messages that I have posted a few days ago but she has not. If u scroll up in the page, u will find my messages.

But i can write here again. Im engaged since some years. But I was not sure if i wanted to engage with him but we had some family problems and my situation was so difficult, so I force myself to say yes. We did neekah a day before i was coming home again to europe.

During my engagement, i was here and he was in our home country, i never phoned or anything cause I didnt like him. He used to call and I used to force myself to talk to him but I was not comfortable with it at all and sometimes I tried not to answer the phone, if I was alone at home. The days went on and soon he got the permission to come here where I live. I was not still happy but I pretended to be, no one else than my family knew that i was a bit unsure but they tought that after haning out with him, maybe it will better..they tought i would start to like him. I was so nervous and even tough I hated him, I tried to hang out with him and tried to like him..but things he said to me made me hate him more and by the time, I started to avoid him,...i didnt choose to do it, it was something that was stopping me from being with him..if he came to us ..I used to live the room,..it was that difficult..for some months he lived with me and my family and then he moved out cause we had plan to move to a flat together after wedding but since i wasnt ready for wedding, my parents tought if he moves out..maybe things will be a bit better..

today after 2 years..I dont think we have spoken more than 3 hours all together. It so true and im not proud of it. I know when u are engaged to someone, u should try to spend ur time with him but i could not.

Today i have given him 2 choices. I have spoken to some relatives and they have told him my options. I want him to leave and go back to the country he came from and i can follow him but he does want to do it and nor do the relatives. They want me to help him stay. As he came , he had just one year permission to stay here, so some monts ago...we hade to go to the police again and ask the police to extend his permission. I had to tell them that we are continue with our relationship. I didnt want to do it but i was kinda forced. Cause if i wouldnt help him, the police would might get him into the jail and send him back so i had to do it..now I want him to leave the country..and we can take a decision after..i mean divorce and so on, but he dont want to leave and we have to go to the police again so he can get the permission..he can stay for 5 months more, and after 5 months..we have to go to the police again, if i tell them we are gonna continue, they will give him this time a forever permission to stay. But this time I dont really want to do it but i feel im gonna b forced again.

U might wanna ask me, why dont u wanna help him?

I would love to help a muslim..but he is my fiance and if we get divorced..I think it will be difficult for me to stay in the same country, city with him

I dont know if anyone is understanding how hard it will be, but my relatives dont understand me..they say keep on studying..live ur life and let him stay..its hurt when they say so.. cause whats important for them?

to let him stay or to try to make this relationship to work..it hurts really much..i have tried a lot of dua..many many and for very long time but i have not seen any changes..but im should be grateful..maybe if i would not hav eprayed..maybe my life would be worse than this..im so happy that im not married to him..what if I was married to him and felt like I do now..or what if I had children with him and i would feel like this..i shoud be happy..my life could be any worse..but still, im so afraid and worried....... plz noor, after u have read this...i will inshalla ask IFIRDOUS to delete my messages. I dont know if she is reading this but i hope she can delete my messages after u have read it..

if u dont understand anything, just ask.

or if u think im the bad one , u can share it to me. Im happy to get help from u..but it hurts a lot that the relatvies think the way they do...it hurts..i dont except them to choose my side...but at least they can try to help both of us...not only whats best for him..its so funny that they say...live ur life, study and etc...how can I study when i feel so...i told them ,,.he has said many bad things to me and they were like..no we dont think he have cause he loves u a lot..its hurts.. I know he loved me a lot but i dont think if he still do..because if he would love me, he would not be that desperate to stay here...but inshalla if they dont think whats best for me..i will try to tell the police the truth.. i know he has so mmuch luck and they will probably let him stay but i will try my best to make them send him back or sometimes i just think...he can stay and i can go to another city but then i have to leave my family :( accordin to my culture, its not ok for a girl move out unless she doesnt marry...i feel sorry for my family if i make a decision like that..to live them forever..i dont know if i will be able to do it.

I use to recite ayatul kursi many many times .. and i try to say many other dua too. Thanks Noor for these u had sent me.. i ill inshalla say it and pray for me.

maria84 7 months ago

i feel sorry for my family if i make a decision like that..to live them forever..i dont know if i will be able to do it.

I mean to LEAVE them and not live..

syeda 7 months ago

Please everyone pray for my dad. he is not keeping well these days. he is my everything both father and mother . i don't have anyone apart frm him in this world. inculde him in ur duas. anybody knows what duas to read for parents health and long life?

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Syeda,

salaam I am sorry to hear that your father is ill and can understand how stresful it can be on you. Im very close to my parents as well and can understand how u feel rite now. There is a dua I saw online rite now and Ive heard them read this many times in namaaz like after jummah:

Yes this is a beautiful dua right here:

"Allahumma 'aafinee fee badani,

Allahumma 'aafinee fee sam'ee,

Allahumma 'aafinee fee basaree,

Laaihaaha illa anta,

Allahumma inni a'oodhubika minal kufri wal faqri,

wa a'oodhubika min 'adhaabil Qabri,

Laa ilaaha illa Anta."

‘O Allaah, grant my body health, O Allaah, grant my hearing health, O Allaah, grant my sight health. None has the right to be worshipped except You. O Allaah, I take refuge with You from disbelief and poverty, and I take refuge with You from the punishment of the grave. None has the right to be worshipped except You.’ [three times]

Sister in need 7 months ago

Salaam

I'm at my lowest right now. I have lost a lot this year one way or another.

I keep thinking I'm am awful person and keep thinking i must have done lots of sins that Im being punished.

I went on Hajj last year ( my husband wouldn't take me) and 6 weeks after I came back my marriage ended- he always looked down on me. I lost my job Someone physically abused me the other day.

I can't tell anyone because I dont want to seem ungrateful for everything I have.

I use to pray 5x/day but now I don't.

It just seems to be getting worse. I really need Allahs help but I'm sooooo ashamed of myself I feel false for asking. I know I should make dua.........

I am very critical of myself and blame myself for everything, even though it's not all my fault. My ex still hadn't paid my maher because he said it is too much. Can someone tell me is this not a zulum even though he gave me Talaq? I doubt myself a lot

..... But I'll just get on with life......

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Dear Emma,

Salaam and sorry for the Late reply. I will surely let my friend know as she is in a troubled situation too.

Now that u say this pain thing outta my system i see how it all makes sense cuz I'm having a lot of those symptoms. Definitely a good thing to look into for those centers, & I'll keep u posted. Plz tc and hope to talk to u soon. :)

zeenat 7 months ago

subhanallah

syeda 7 months ago

Thank you so much noorkh . jazzakallah khairun. i feel really weak because i don't hav a mom she expired when i was two. my granny who bought me up expired last year cuz my dad had met with a life threating accident she cudn't bear that. i was bereaved 4 6 months n when things started getting normal my dad fell ill don't have noone from anyone from my extended family to whom i can really look upto for support. here in sub-continent things are really different we have a very hard life. May Allah reward you for passing it on.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@Maria:

Salaam, sorry for the late reply. I waas abt to reply to u and I fell asleep lol

I did read ur msg and my heart does really go out to u. I understand wut u r going thru and I can relate since I was married to sumone that I did not really like and it was more like a compromise. My heart does go out to u as ur in a pretty tense situation and its really hard wen ppl dnt understand wut it is ur actually wanting and how u feel abt it .

Ur absolutely rite in not feeling the likeness towards him and these kind of things cant be forced. If I were in ur place Id feel the same way. Isnt there anyone u can perhaps talk too? Maybe ur mom? moms are close to daughters usually and maybe she can pass this msg along.

Ur relatives dnt need to live ur life YOU do, and Im surprised they think so conservative wen ur a young adult and times have obviously changed rite? Its not like we can just be puppeted by ppl and have them make decisions for who were gna spend the rest of out life with. This definitely a really tough posiiton ur in but I dnt think anything is impossible for Allah (SWT) as he has a resolution to everything.

I strongly advise you to talk to an adult that you trust and pass along this msg for u. If ur not comfortable u definitely cant be forced for anything cuz both ur lives will be miserable. If I find any dua I will surely let u know asap and I will remember u in my duas as well sweetie. Trust Allah, sumthings are better left in his hands and InshAllah I hope u get wut u want and end up with the person that understands u and whom you want to be with and he wants to with you.

Your welcome to talk to me wenever u want, so u dnt feel like this problem is eating u up from inside and u wont feel as sad rite? I know this Is iFirdous' hub and shes done an amazing job to make this a place of positivity.

Plz take care of urself and try to think abt wut I mentioned and I hope wut happens is in ur best interest AMEEN.

Noor :)

mk hassan shaon 7 months ago

..............be happy always with your husband & kids that i pray & hope. i have got a way to finish my upsetness by reading your experience. sister pray for me so that i can finish my upset & can be happy always..............

Maria84 7 months ago

@Noorkh786

Salam aleykm!

Thanks for answering. no, dont say u are sorry..i understand that sometimes u get busy with anything else or are just tired.

I have talked to my mother and i know she is suffering a lot for me and she regrets everything. But she cant make him to leave this country, as she knows he wont. She knows that i have a problem and i know she is sad and she is always praying for me but my relatives are my husband relatives too. They want to help him to by convince me to help him stay, even If i dont let him stay, they will try to find a new girl to him so he can stay and i know it. Beside i think he has the luck, if i told the police, we are not gonna continue with the relationship..they will might let him to stay.. but im not sure. I want the relatives to help me by make him to leave this...and after that we can make a decision. I have also suggested that i can move with him back to the country he came from..i rather try to do that than let him stay here and if we get divorced, than i will always be seeing him outside and i know that will hurt me a lot. But i think, i can try my best to live with him where he came from..if our relationship get better, we can always come back,..but they just ignoring this suggestion and tell me to live my life on, and let him stay and so on. Just a few months ago, when he needed my help..they didnt say that..to live ur life and so on...they told me to help him stay and give him a chance...he love u...but now when he is not that depended on me..they say continue ur life, study...with that, they mean,..divorce him and thats so mean.

i dont judge them cause i know they dont know or understands me but at least they can ask me before saying no u are wrong.

I told them, he has hurt me a lot by saying bad things to me then my uncle of course said...no I know he has not. cause he loves u, and he wouldnot hurt u. And i was like..what the hell do u know but i didnt say anything back..cause i know i have to try to be kind to them or they will punish me more than they already have. I hate this. I hate that people think money is more important than everything else. If they suspect we wont make it, they should ask him to leave me but i know its hard for him too. this was he dream, to come to europe..he wouldnt live it that easy. He will try everything to stay and that hurts me a lot. I dont care about his stay here..it just hurts me that he came because of me and everyone will se him as my husband even if we get divorce. no one will ever forget my problem, but if he leave me..then i wont be hurt that much..but we will see.

I have told them that i want to try to solve the problems between us by leaving to the country he came from. They disagree and stops answering my emails. but i wont give up. They want me to say let him divorce me, so they can try to find a girl so he can stay here but inshalla i will try my beest.. some people who know me , they are intrested in me..but i dont know if i have to courage to trust them...they live in asia and i dont know if they are intrested in me or just to come here... like he was.. i admit, he is a nice guy, he has bought me a lot of things but what hurts is, that when he came..he said many bad things to me and i felt like he was not treating me well and by the time i started to avoid him and everythin got worse. I felt he loved me for bringing him here.

I dont know if allah is unhappy with him by treating my husband that bad.. i dont know what allah wants. I hope allah understands me.

thanks a lot, if u find a dua..let me know..i have read a lot of surah yasin ..may allah help us all inshalla.

I love my mum a lot and i feel pity for her . She wanted my best and she tought he was the right one but i know she regrets all.. a little bit is her fault but i forgive her of course.. i know she was so stressed therefor she convinced me to engaged even tough i told her i dont want to..she forced me a bit... but i love her a lot and i hope allah forgive her for forcing me and forgive me for being like this.

thanks i will pray for u too inshalla

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Dear Syeda,

Salaam I hope ur a little better and have been hanging in there. I cud underhand that things aren't easy after coping with such events in life and without a mom it cud be even more tough.

My aunt was sick too and my moms been telling us to read

"YA SALAAMU WA SALLIMU" as much as u can remember and however many times u can.

This is good for sumone thats ill & inshAllah they will heal.

At least there's this site were all of us can share our problems and dnt feel so alone. I hope u can be better & may Allah bless u n

Ur family with happiness, & u have a life partner that understands u AMEEN. whenever u need to talk ur welcome

To talk to me :)

Take care.

animir 7 months ago

@ Syeda,

I pray that your father gets better. My mom helaps people get married: are you in the US? if so, where?

Umm Umair 7 months ago

Assalamulaikum

Dear All, I dont know whether i'm experiencing depression or what. I've been listing the problems that i encountered and still facing them with calm. I take it as a test from Allah to us. I always tell myself to fell grateful for being the chosen one for this weird feeling. Usually i feel upset towards my husband.He's a good guy although he's not practically romantic. Nowdays i am grateful that my husband is still supporting me eventough i am experincing a weird pain (empiness in the head until the heart). it just now i feel so weak to face it. i can still do my work but the emptiness is still there. some people said that perhaps its the effect of bad-eye (sihr). Wallahualam. anyone is experincing this? please give me some morale support. thank you

ami 7 months ago

@sister in need

I had been thro all that which u are feeling now,negativity,hopelessness,feeling of guilt and no desire to live .With Time the pain decreases.seek the help of Allah again and again, remind yourself that this life is temporary and what u take with you are good deeds,u are going thro tests from Allah not bcoz of ur deeds but because of destiny(Qadr).Allah help u and ease your pain

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@Animir: Where does ur mom help ppl get married in US? Does she also help those in the UK

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@Umm Umair:

Salaam, I kindda know wut u going thru as I still feel the same at times. Sumdays its worst sumdays its not as bad. It could be that sumone has done sihr on you and you are feeling this way? My advice is to listen to the link thats posted on this page to remove black magic

(youtube) and do namaaz stay in wudu as much as possible.

It is the weirdest feeling but the way it affects u is really strange too cuz u not only feel like ur depressed but u feel empty, even tho u have eveeryone there to be of support to you. Its nice that u can relate to ppl on this site and then again u may wanna consider seeing a marriage counselor or therapist to try make things a little better on that note. Maybe ur husband isnt the romantic type but u may need sum other advice to help you... just a suggestion. Also Ive heard that ppl that r going thru depression and symptoms of it should read :

YA HAYYU YA QAYYUM BI RAHMATIKA ASTAGHEES

as much as u can remember....

i hope this helps tc and dnt loose hope! :)

Noor

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@Maria,

I do understand wut ur saying but Im a bit confused? U say that u dnt like him but wud feel bad if u two got divorced? If u dnt like him then dnt u just divorce and start off fresh? I know u dnt like the fact that he came to Europe thru u and it kindda sounds like he got married becuz of greed... im so sorry to say this but I know how u feel cuz my story is very similar to urs.

So y is it that u want to go back to his home country with him? I know u dnt want him to stay there but if its in his kismat he probably will. U seem to be too too worried and if u worry urself mre then u will becoem sick and may not be able to concentrate in things in ur life... U dnt need to worry if uve left it on Allah. things happen in life and its best to find wut makes u happy. I know u dnt want him to stay there thru u, and ur worried wut will ppl think stop worrying abt wut ppl think and wrry abt things that u know can keep u happy.

I personally think that many ppl in this world r selfish. Even relatives can be cuz most ppl r materlialistic. If the other ppl are interested in u maybe u shud give them a chnce, and u nvr know it may be moer beneficial to u in the long run inshAllah. So dnt give up and if he stays then wutever, u live ur life. I dnt think theres love cuz if theres love then ppl dnt act mean to their life partner or talk to them the way u described him... remember this life is a test so dnt think that ur being punished by Allah taalah he may just be testing to see who u come to in need and how u react to it. Allah knows wut we dont. Andour parents always want the best for us and Im sure thats wut ur mom and dad wanted too. I know u forgave ur mom but if she knew things wud turn out the way they did I can guarantee u she wud never want this to happen to u.

So now u finalize things and figure out how to be as upfront as possible. Plz dnt force urself in this anymoer if u really dnt wanna be in it. And dnt wrry abt if he stays or not... in the end life goes on and we only live once. So dnt spoil for urself everyone deserves to live in happiness, if theyve never done anything to anyone....

tc and Ill let u know abt the dua soon iA

Shazia 7 months ago

Asalamalaikum Sisters,

As Sister Firdous said taht she read all the Ayaths it is too good. 1 thing I dint understood is she has written"Ya allah Ya rahman Ya rahim- 1200 times daily Durood-e-Shareef before and after - 1200 times" Iam confused will anybod solve my confusion please. Is Darud Sharief also should be read 1200times?Please anyone reply me. Iam waiting even Iam very depressed of my life.

Unknown 7 months ago

Salaam Alaykum

3 things in life that never come back when gone:

-Time

-Words

-Oppertunity

3 things in life that should never be lost:

-Peace

-Hope

-Honesty

3 things in life that are most valuable:

-Hardwork

-Sincerity

-Commitment

3 things in life that can destrtoy a person:

-Lust

-Pride

-Anger

3 Things in life that are constant:

-Change

-Death

-God

Share this with everyone you know. Jazakallah

Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. (We come from God(Allah) and to him we return.) This is not a game. For real, please people focuse on the reality.

Everybody is talking about love. 1st Love Allah then other things will fall into place.

No one can ever be truly happy if the gap in their heart which Allah can only fill is empty.

Listen.

Allah has said that i have created the earth, the skys, moutains, deserts, oceans and the universe. The universe, and only take into consideration our universe our galaxy. To get from one end to the other will take 1000 billion light years. Think about that, 1000 billion (light) years, not our normal years, light years. And ther are millions and other galaxies, that is just ours.

1000 billion light years and Allah chooses to live in our hearts. This is what Allah has said that i want to be in your hearts. Which is so small compared to the universe, imagine. He wants to be in your heart, which was created so pure and perfect. The same heart you mourne for because someone has left you or someone does not love you ect.

Love Allah and beleive me things will fall into place.

We commit so much sin knowing and unknowingly, our hearts are not pure anymore so people i stress to you to please work hard on making yourselves pure again. Inshallah.

There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good. So love the people that treat you right, Pray for those who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

May Allah give us all the strength needed to face the world with a smile. Ameen

Have a great day.

Another thing, always pray on time, the beginning of the time especialy fajar (the dawn prayer) Allah comes down to the 1st sky especialy to watch you while you pray and says ask me my servant for whatever and i will give.

When you wake up especialy for the dawn prayer your day will flourish, trust me you will feel better than ever.

1 MAN, 1 GOD, 1 LUV.

I pray for you, so please pray for me that one day we both be up in heaven g. ;)

Salaam Alaykum.

mahi 7 months ago

is really Allah watching us ???? nd will pull us out from all oue worries....since i m praying from a long time. bt still i m getting troubles and troubles in my life.....

syeda 7 months ago

WALAIKUM ASSALAM noorukh sis,

Yes, i do feel better a bit frm before alhamdullilah. jazzakallah khairun.

Certain situations in life makes u go blank apart frm keeping trust in allah it does happen sometimes.INSHAALLAH May Allah bless u sis.Shoukran. i will follow that up.

@Animir sis. I'm not from us. sorry.

Maria84 7 months ago

@Noorkh786

Salam

I so agree with u. u are right. If allah wants him to stay, i will never be able to make him leave but its so hard for me to be with him and see him after this. I cant imagine this,...i mean if we seperate.

But the worst thing is that before even getting engaged with him, i was afraid of this and i used to pray to and hoped this wouldnt happen but it happened anyway and now i just hope to get this fixed inshalla.

I mean i rather go back with him and try to live ..even if im unhappy there,,,i will try my best but here, its so difficult for me...to have him here..but inshalla by the time, it will be better...we should pray for not face any worse than this.

thanks for u answeeer. hope u are doing good with ur life too and may allah give u happiness in life

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Sister In Need

I read ur post, I dont know how long u were married b4 it ended. However, its clear that u have suffered enough abuse which affected ur self esteem and belief in urself n in ur ability. This is a normal sign of psychological abuse, most people feel that way. Sometimes the victims even feel its all their fault. Pay no attention to such feelings or thoughts n plz dont criticise urself until u restored ur confidence back in urself. Just remember ur ex-husband wanted u to have self doubts and lose ur confidence and self-respect,and thats why he used to look down on u. Do NOT LET HIM WIN.

if he doesnt pay up the maher just tell him he will remain bound by it n move on. dont waste ur time trying to prove how evil he is, just move on n rebuild ur self esteem n a new life. Whoever physically assaulted u they had no right to do that.

i hope things get better for u.

Sister in need 7 months ago

Dear Ammi and Emma and everyone,

Jazakallah khair for your kind words.

I am very grateful for your advice and help. It does help.

I am going to try to pray Tahajuth in the next few days and I will pray Allah helps everyone with their problems. I use to pray it a lot more before I was married (marriage was for 9-11 months) and inshallah I'd love to put good news on here one day.

I did realise one thing from my ordeal: I am very forgiving for a human. I pray Allah forgives us all on the Last Day.

I'm going to try to forget things and pinch myself if I start reflecting over what happened. Hopefully it will help to move on.

All the best everyone.

Shazia 7 months ago

Asalamalaikum Firdous Sis,Inshallah definitely i will read.. So u have read 1200times Darood b4 & after the tazbi R8?

Thanks a lot for replying me & spending ur valuable time in replying actually I am left by my husband since 4yrs I am living with my 2 children who are male. As u know the sufferings at this time. Yet my husband didnt give me Talaq or Qullah but he got married to a woman & now has a female kid of 2yrs. But we both are not a bit in touch the last we met was b4 yrs & even the kids also. He is not giving maintenance to the kids. But I cant marry anyone as still I am not divorced & moreover my children are well matured & grown up & i dont want to spoil their future. But some how I am struggling a lot. Even in these situations I have hope & trust in Allah that he will give me peace & good life. Please all my brothers & sisters pray for my problems which i am facing. The most biggest problem I am facing is financially. as my salary is not enough to run my family so please pray fo me that Allah should give me enough wealth that i should not ask or depend upon anyone.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Shazia

If u live in the UK U can try child support agency to make ur husband pay maintenance for ur children. If he remarried in the UK wihtout divorcing u fast then he has committed a bigamy, its a criminal offence.

I have noticed that in our Asian culture whether u r muslim or hindu but if u r a woman u r not supposed to remarry n divorce seems to be a crime only for woman. Compare this with the middle eastern or some african muslim cultures where women do remarry without much difficulties.I think this stigma comes from Hindusim. I personally think all women of marriagable age should remrry they r entitled to as much happiness as their former husbands. This is the true spirit of Islam (justice), a religion of Peace, Happiness and Virtues.

Shazia 7 months ago

Asalamalaikum Emma Sis,

How are you? Feel happy to see u on this site & replying the comments. Please dear Sis do remember me in ur valuable dua's which I need very badly now.. May Allah bless you all..

shaheera banu 7 months ago

Assalamualaikum,

LOVE u all my sisters....take care n keep hope in allah.

Batool 7 months ago

Aslamalakum.Dear sister Emma, how are you, hope fine.you are doing good job. keep on doing. ALMIGHTY ALlah reward you with happiness in this world and hereafter.plz keep on praying for me, my family, my mother & for my job.

Dear sister SHAZIA i pray for you. AlMIGHTY ALLAH solve all you problems & bless you with happiness.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear sisters Batool n Shazia

Salam. I am just feeling better n better everyday n do u know why? its because of ur duas sisters. May Allah help u solve all ur problems. Himmotsey larnahey sisters, never lose courage n remember Allah doesnt like the hopeless. The other day someone told me a story which I am posting for everyone's benefits.

A very pious man used to live in a village. One he was told that a great

Emma 7 months ago

story conti

great flood was on its way n everyone should leave the village at once. The pious man refused to leave he said God is going to help me.

When the flood water entered his house, a group of rescue workers asked him to come to thier boat n they will take him to safety. He refused to be helped n said God will help me. When the water reached the second floor of his house another group of people offered him help, which he declined. finally the water hit the roof top n he was barely able to keep his head n mouth out of the water, a helicopter spotted him n offered to rescue him. He still refused to be rescued n when the water level increased he was drowned.

He went to heaven, being a pious man n asked God what was all that about? I asked you to help me n u let me die in the flood water?

God replied, I sent help to u 3 times and u refused to accept my help, n thats why u died.

Hum30 7 months ago

Assalamualaikum sis, everyone has different problem, about love, family, money and other but i have health problem. I beleive in allah strongly he is with me I hope one day I'll be cure Inshallah.plz..plz..pray for my health.Thank you

Fahmi 7 months ago

assalamu alaikum,

For those with worries here is a very beautiful dua ,It speaks your heart out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPKoX6kWFFI&feature

grv11 7 months ago

salaam to all, i'm facing similar problem the only difference is that my wife has left me for someone else after 2 yrs of marriage.Its very much the same story that u have firdous,I'm feeling the same way, feeling destroyed, i have even left my job, cannot take things any more. all my prayers have been unanswered.

i'm 32 now. got married in 2009.since then v were happy togeather. But last march, i noticed my wife used to talk with someone else. Seeing my strong opposition she promised me not to do again. It took me some time to lead a normal life with her. but gradually things settled. But after 6 months of the incident, while i was off to work, she fled to her relatives house. when i went there to take her back, she told me she wants to go to her parents house for a fortnight. Her father came n picked her up with a promise of sending her back within a month. And since then she is living with her parents. Neither talking to me, nor her parents letting me to talk to her. Instead a threatening with a divorce case. I'm so depressed.

i had been praying all day night to the almighty to stop this divorce and bring her back,but to no avail. it seems God is not willing to hear at all.

Its the darkest phase of my life, don't know how to fight out this challenge. I'm unable to sleep, unable to even breathe. I never thought that life will bring me to this juncture. please help i am clueless

Aribah Ahmed 7 months ago

See Allah never refuses our prayers.. He is all knowing and wise.. Whatever he does is better for us.

maria84 7 months ago

@Shazia& Ifirdous

Salam to u and the rest of the sisters.

I wonder shazia if u read the dua with taspe, durod sharif 1200times and then ya allah ya rahman ya raheem etc.

How much time did it took? Cause i wanna try it too.

And by durood sharif, do u mean ''allah humma sale allah sayyidina muhammadin nabbiyil wa salem taslima '' ?? is this durood sharif u mean?

Plz if u read this post, answer me inshalla =)

fkhan 7 months ago

dear bro.n sisters 'since one year i loving a muslim girls .my family did nt want to merrige her i cant forget her all times she in my mind i cant concentrat anywhere plz tell me some dua so i forgive her which in my heart .

Helper 7 months ago

Dear GRV11

I always believe you can sit down and talk to your spouse if they are willing. If your wife doesn't want to then you have no choice.

Im not sure what your relationship is like but if you have upset her in anyway sincerely apologise even if you are in the right and if she reconciles with you then fine. If not you have done your best. If you go to her house and she doesn't want to talk to you then again you have done your best.

You can control your actions but not anyone elses. The answer to your problem is Isthikhara.

Do this dua and Tahajuth and your problem will be solved.

If you are afraid of divorce ( it seems as though you are) then know you may be tested with it.

I never wanted to be divorced and would have put up with abuse (which I did) but finally had the courage to do Isthikhara because I wasnt scared anymore. I just thought whatever will happen will happen!

The very day I did Isthikhara and I had prayed Thajhut then a few hours later I was divorced!

It was finalised a few weeks later after I had to force an Imam to get involved because I was told I had to live in limbo by my ex i.e. Not officially divorced but not allowed to live with my ex. I'm also 32 and yes it is hard at times but I know this life isn't forever.

Just do duas & Isthikhara and see what happens. You won't lose anything and actually you will realise that it's Allah you should trust not a person. Whatever He decides will be for the best.

Trust Allah.

All the best

afzal 7 months ago

to grv11

i had same case like you,

i am a muslim with strong beliefs of islam,nothing can shatter me from path of Allah,thats how i made myself.

i married a girl,just for cause of Allah believing she was muslim,nothing else

though she never loved me from the beginning,as normally wife's do.

since 2 months 10 days i found she was keeping serious contact with her lover of 4 years which she hid it from me everytime,

i read her emails and was shocked to core.

i searched and found more of her chats and mobile phone chats. when i caught her she never cried a single drop till today.

I could not eat anything,no morsel was getting down my throat.

being a hard hearted man,i never cried except in cause of Allah.i cried day and night praying for her to get her some brain,but no use

i thought it is not a small mistake it can be ignored nor it was small act THAT IS WHY NO MERCY OF ALLAH can come to her.it is years of hardwork you can say that made her

in hindi we say maahol ka asar.

i sent her divorce myself,then her family was same like her,arrogant with power of money,(like nothing is running by Allah,but by themselves.)never asked for forgiveness even once.

now by mercy of Allah,which i believe in cent percent

we in finalizing marriage proposal with much brighter girl who is same as me.

I stood firm on righteousness and ran for truth so i advice you to be the same,

even after divorce i cried for myself,tears where running without any cause,several times it came to my mind,to forgive her and get her back,though she was not even beautiful,she was of dark complexion ,and i am with bright complexion, well there were differences too.

i forgot one thing that there are many girls in the world who are of good character too.

if you leave you are not going to loose anything,though you will have heartaches,tears, emotions ,memories,etc. to torture you.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Maria,

salaam! I was really ill these past couple days and just started to feel better alhamdulillah :)

I understand how ur stuck in the middle and its really hard cuz ur under the pressure of ur family and its not easy in our culture...

I dnt understand y ur still bein forced cuz it sounds like ur confused too??? am I rite?

I know u wanna sacrifice ur own happiness for ur families sake but seriously y r u gna force urself to live with sumone that mistreats u and it clearly sounds like his intentions were of coming to Europe... i dnt want to give u a wrong suggestion but its better to know now then to live ur live in misery and compromise.

I also think u overanalyze things which stresses u out like how u said that if he does end up staying than u cant imagine that.... dnt wrry too much I used to be like u adn it made me sick. I would get headaches ( I still do ) but there not as bad and I used to think that everything revolves around that stupid problem which will just waste ut time and energy. U have to care more for urself and I kknow ur family too but dnt ruin ur life over sumone who doesnt care in return.

I hope there is sum good outcome inshAllah...

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Syeda,

sorry for the late reply. Yes ur rite certain situations to make u go blank, and trust me i been there. Just dnt loose hope and keep faith and trust in Allah, He will never let you down inshAllah.

I will remember u and ur father in my duas...

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@ Unknown 1:

salam alaykum,

uve dne a great job once again mashAllah to summarize all the important things... very well written! Keep up the good work, may Allah reward u and others for passing along such good words Ameen.

tc

Noor :)

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Shazia,

salaam, I read ur post and it really made me sad since ive gone thru sum stuff in my life. I understand how u feel rite now and how hard it can be... U mentioned sumthing about not being able to get a divorce from ur husband since he didnt say anything.

I have contacted this site in the past: istikhaara.com (Saylani Welfare, they help the less fortunate) and wrote to them about the issues I was experiencing since it was too much in my mind. I would highly advise you contact them since you are going thru sum obstacles. He is a highly renowned mufti sahab and is not a fake since Ive seen him coming on QTV (Quran TV). I hope Allah makes ur problems better inshAllah and I will keep u in my duas, as I know how it feels to be left :(

Plz plz dnt ruin ur life, u only live once and its okay to have children its not a sin and u deserve to be happy to be sister.

Plz take care of urself and may Allah make everyones hardship easier and eliminate our problems. AMEEN

Noor :)

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@ grv 11:

salaam, I read ur post and seems like u r very hurt rite now and thats understandable... been there its sure not easy :(

I was telling Shazia about this website and ur more than welcome to follow wut firdos wrote here too since shes done a fabulous job at including all the handouts.

Its nice to talk to sumone that is live and they do accept emails. I saw this mufti sahab on Quran TV and my mom also told me about it. Hes a really nice person and u need to find out at this point wut the best thing is there to do, obviously Allah knows best but at least u have sum assurance and dnt feel like ur in the darkest place. I would highly recommend u visit istikhaara.com and send them an email.

I really hope this helps u and may Allah make ur problems easier and get you an answer AMEEN

take care,

Noor :)

Shazia 7 months ago

Dear Maria SIs, Asalmalaikum,

What Firdous sis has said is obviously r8. & I feel to give you the same reply.

May Allah Bless you & solve your problems very soon. The best advice I would like to say is Dont lose hope on Allah he is the best in the world than humans. So continue your prayers Inshallah definitely he will hear you..As per the proverb Be knocking the door inshallah oneday surely it will open.. One more thing I would like to say is please try to read Tahjud Namaz its the best way to get nearer to Allah.. As its my experience. Please remember me in your valuable dua's..

Noman 7 months ago

i am poor boy , i can not pay my study fee , please any body help me

imran raza elvi 7 months ago

110 times nad e ALI AND PRAY 2 GOD......I BELIEVE....SURE

Ami 7 months ago

Assalamu alaikum,

I wd like to ask each one here .Which is better accepting ur present situation or praying continiously to change ur present situation?

Maria84 7 months ago

I FOUND THIS IN A WEBSITE

?5 things to be done before you sleep;

1. Recite 4 times surah fathiha- Alham..... Equal to giving 4000 dinar to poor.

2. 3-times recitation of the surah Ikhlas- Qul hu walla.... Is equal 2 reading one Qur'an.

3. Ten times asthaghfar equals entry to heaven.

4. Ten times darud equals compromising a fight.

5. 3rd kalima ...four times equals one haj. Frwd this to others muslims,

maria84 7 months ago

Salam again sisters

thank u all for ur replies.

I will inshalla write to u tomorrow.

Thanks ifirdous for answering !!

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@ Noman:

Salaam.... I can understand how it is not having money for school too. Dnt ask anyone, ask Allah (SWT)He provides for all of us and He'll find a way to provide for you too insAllah. Dnt give up and do dua daily, I didnt have a job a month ago and alhamdulillah He helped me and now I work mashAllah.

May Allah make ur problem easier and I hope your school problem is resolved Ameen

Simab Khan 7 months ago

I m 32 Years old and silt face a problem of my job not an consistent and also face financial problem my family and me

this is my cell No.09893016573

syeda 7 months ago

JazzakAllah khairun noorukh sis. thats completely fine. Thats the only reason that keeps me going these days.I don't know but i want my dad to follow proper deen he doesn't do that whenever i tell him to he gets angry thou i admit i'm noone to judge anyone i'm not gud either need to improve myself working on that .He scolds me for no reason even when i'm right i really get tensed. i feel he gets angry due satanic stuff its the lack of deen which is missing and cuz of hez been having negative thoughts . He is a wonderful father but this one element of his which really pisses me off and get so depressed sis its tough to handle . i always seek refuge in Allah. i have been having emotional turmoil my father is been destroying his health first day he says he'll says he'll get the test done what the doctor reccommend and the next day he ignores it he never listens.I want him to be healthy,have long life and erase the negativity compeletely frm our lives. he planned for hajj next yr he sometimes says hes keen on it and sometimes he says hes not at times he says certain bad words which i dont like ...i hope they might be a remedy for all this. He cares me i don't deny that like if i want a thing or so . i just hope he gets super fit and v go to hajj n that journey will make the difference on him INSHAALLLAH IMSHAALLAH

maria84 7 months ago

@Noorkh786

Salam!

Thanks for ur message.

Yes i know, i should try not to think about it but i just cant, the reason i have this problem today, is that just years ago i couldnt stop thinkin about what other people would think of me. I had the chance to tell my family that i dont want him but i didnt do it. I didnt have the courage, i was just thinking everything is gonna be better and i was thinking patience is something good ..but i see just one postive thing with my problem. I pray more than i used too, i try to read quran more often than i used too and im not that curious about other family problems like I used to be hehe with. I know I have changed a lot, so i should be happy with that and im trying to look at other people with more difficult problem...sometimes it helps me a lot=)

Yes Im so confused and i dont know what to do. Both is hard for me, to let it go or to tr to continue..both is so difficult. Even if I make him to leave this country and go back, I wont feel better but we will see what happens. My family wants the best for me but i know they are scared of peoples reactions too and they like him a lot but they say u dont have to if u dont want to..i feel like i have always been living for making others happy..i have to be strong and make my own decision.

u are right, im just hurting myself and its true..sometimes i cant sleep cause i think about it a lot and cant concentrate.

Anyway, i hope u are better with ur own problems. I have friends that i know since my childhood, but i cant talk this with them, dont know why ..but some day when I get better, maybe i will be able to talk about it more. im glad i can at least talk about it here.

maria84 7 months ago

Salam to u too sister Shazia

Thanks for ur message.

I will google Tahjud Namaz and see how to practise it inshalla.

yes inshalla im trying not to loose my hope. im trying to do good deeds as much as i can cause i feel like im so sinful cause i dont treat my husband well, i mean i avoid him and so on. I dont even talk to him. I have not been talking to him for months now and im always avoiding him but im not choosing to do it. When I see him, my heart just beats and i dont know why, but a voice says to me run or go hide and i use to do it and i feel so bad about it. I have been feeling the way I do for some years now ..im not that old but i wish i could have been a happy wife by now. Im glad i have not been marrying to him, i mean living with him and so on but according to islam, we are married cause we did neekah and we were going to have the wedding but then when i felt i was not ready so i never married him. We planned to marry one year after the engagement but i was not ready so we never did and my family says be happy, u are just engaged to him..its not that big deal, it would have been worse if u would have married him and then regret.. but i keep reading different dua and we will see what happens. thanks for ur message. I will of course pray for u too and may allah bless u and help u with all ur problems

maria84 7 months ago

@Fahmi

thank u for the website!!

may allah reward u

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Syeda,

salaam alaykum sister, im glad to see you reply back and to hear more from u. I think the problem myte be that your father myte have gone away from our deen a little or sumtimes wut happens is ppl do black magic which may bring these kindda thoughts in our mind. Im no alima or anything but Im telling u based off of wut I heard.

Men are really stubborn wen it comes to health, as my father is the same way and doesnt listen to wen hes being asked to go to dr. and this is realy frustrating especialy if hes ill.

If you really wanna approach this problem and inshAllah find a solution to it not only should you continue to do dua, but Ive suggested many ppl on this site to go to istikhaara.com and you can write your question there and theyll respond in as little as 5 days. This is organized by a highly reputable alim from saylani welfare who help the less fortunate, and he also does a q & a thing on Quran TV (DISH.)

I hope things get better for u, and I know how frustrated u can be since Ive seen sum anger in my father and him always changing his mind about things not related to religion but other stuff that many of us experience.

tc and hope this helps inshallah.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

salaam maria,

Glad to hear back from you and i hope ur doing well.

After reading ur msg I know its easier said than done and I totaly agree to that, cuz its not easy to tell urself to not think abt it wen u already do.

Wen I read ur msgs I think u sacrifice a lot for other and u need to think abt urself too hun. plz stop caring wut other ppl will think abt u, and how itll make u feel cuz if u keep on thinking that ull always be trapped in that and u need to get outta this.

Dnt make things more complicated then they already are, cuz thatll just tangle ur mind even more. I highly suggest u try to figure this out piece by piece and ask Allah to make this easy which im sure ur alraedy doing but dnt feel like ur gna live ur life in force.

yes ur rite abt the positive that has come into ur life. I feel the same with me and im very happy that Im becoming closer to our deen and I see that you mentioned that as well which is great! may Allah keep all of us closer to our religion and spread the word.

Im better alhamdulillah just tryin to make myself better each day as well. Im very happy u can share and I can on this site. Takes a little burden off of u :)

Theres this Quran translation I listen to in URdu and its in Surah Mulk:

67:13 And whether ye hide your word or publish it, He certainly has (full) knowledge, of the secrets of (all) hearts.

Waasirroo qawlakum awi ijharoo bihi innahuAAaleemun bithati alssudoori

Ur supposed to read this 101 times before u sleep and Allah brings the answer in ur dream inshAllah.

hope this helps and I hpe to hear from u soon tc

Amreen 7 months ago

Salam! your story has inspired me, in life you will go through many pains but after every thunderstorm comes a rainbow. I am going through very hard time, the person i love is getting married to another girl and he still loves me because he still hasn't stopped contacted me, he is also making me attend his wedding because he says that i m a beautiful part of his life and we had a great relationship. we have been talking for a year. but it hurts to hear that he is getting married. He tries not to talk abt his 'to be' wife or his marriage to me because i get depress very easily. I seriously don't know how will i attend his wedding but i have to, for him. He says that this wedding is not his own will but he is helpless. I dont know what to do. please help me and also pray for me. I hope whatever happens... happens for good for both of us. we both love each other but things aren't just right.

Shazia 7 months ago

Asalamalaikum Maria Sis,

Thanks a lot for ur msg that u have shared with me. Sis TAhjud Namaaz starts from 3-4 & its 12 rakath Nafil with 2*6=12. Niyath to be done as Nafil 2 rakath Tahjud's. after finishing ur namaaz pray with whole heart beg & cry to him to solve ur problem inshallah ur prayers will be heard very soon as Allah likes praying & asking him in the midnight. & regarding your marriage its little confused when the situation is not in our hand please leave it upon Allah he will take care. He is the best giver of our life. He will do which is best for us. So dont worry & loose hope continue ur prayers sincerely. May Allah bless you & give a good solution for ur life. Many times I pray Tahjud Namaaz & feel Allah is very near to me. & he also listens to us so start the prayer Inshallah asap.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Amreen

Salam. If the guy really loves u then he has a great way of showing it by marrying someone else n inviting to watch it, with full knowledge that u get depressed. Are u sure he is not just a sweet talking guy of no substance?

If there is will there is a way, believe u in me.If he really loves u then he will find away to stop his marriage. If he doesnt do that then love urself n keep urself away from him n his marriage. Do not cause any more pain to urself.

maria84 7 months ago

@Noor!

Salam sister.

Thanks for recommeding this dua. I will listen to it.

Should I say this sentence 101 times before i go to asleep. "Waasirroo qawlakum awi ijharoo bihi innahuAAaleemun bithati alssudoori" ??

In that case, i will inshalla do it.

Im glad for u that u are getting better and that u also came closer to allah.

People with problems, they either loose hope and get worse or their faith just gets stronger. Im glad Im the one who is trying to be a better muslim.

Im trying to make a decision soon by speaking to a relative. This person has promised me to help me and we will inshalla see what happens, at the same times, im trying to read dua so allah can make a choise for me cause Im so confused and i dont know what to do. Hope allah can show it to me by a dream.

I saw u suggested a website to someone earlier, istikhara.com. I sent an email to them yesterday and I hope inshalla they will help me.

I will tell them my problem and see what they can answer me. I think its easier to get help by someone who dont know me or him or our families cause they can give us advice by just judging the situation and not us.

I feel he is not guilty as I am, he has just hurt me by his tounge, i mean by his comments and nothing else. he has never hit me or anything else. We have not spent that much time together but i dont think he would ever hit me. But sometimes peope can also hurt u by just saying bad things to u . I know my problem is that i dont love him, if I would loved him, his comments wouldnt hurt me that much.

Funny thing is that I was always hoping to get married soon and live a happily life and get children, i love kids but i will try this dua and tomorrow we are gonna read surah yasin 41 times. May allah show me whats best for me in my dream and help everyone with problems.

maria84 7 months ago

Hi sister Shazia

thank u very much, i wish the same for u too inshalla

yes i have also heard about it, that allah listens most when u pray in the midnight.

I will pray namaz then.

Hope things get better for u as well

maria84 7 months ago

@Amreen

Salam

hope u are doing well.

I agree to sister emma, it doesnt make any sense that he is asking u to come to the wedding. If I would be standing in ur shoes, i wouldnt go to the wedding cause i would probably get more hurt and if he really wants and loves u, he should do anything about it. I know sometimes, we human beings, we cant make any decisions because we have more things to think about, but its not fair to u and not to the girl he is marrying either. If he really loves u, i hope allah gives him the courage to solve it somehow.

Iman 7 months ago

Salam brothers and sisters. Your story has truely inspired me in that your destiny can change with dua and prayer. I would like to request you all to please make a special dua for me as I am in great difficulty regarding my education.

My parents want me to do one thing and I wanted to dosomething else. But my heart is restless, I cant make a decision and I have very little time. Please pray for me as I cant decide what is best for my deen, iman and aakhirat.

Please pray for me.

Jazakallah

Amreen 7 months ago

Thanks for the comments. he bugs me everyday to come to his wedding,i dont know what to do. Also he says he is getting married for his parents happiness. All i can do is pray that in these some days left he will change his mind if he loves me, Ameen. Sisters please pray for me that he changes his mind and stands up for himself. because i dont know how will i ever forget him i have never been in love or this situation therefore it will be hard to go through it.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Amreen

He is bugging u to go to his wedding so that he can feel good, regardless of ur own feelings. He is getting married for his parents happiness, but who is going to live with the girl he is marrying? its he who will have to spend the rest of his life with her. This type of suicide bring a lot of pain and sorrow. Dont accpet that its ok to sacrifice ur love for his parents happiness. No one knows for sure this will bring happiness to his parents, which they are hoping to gain.

He probably thinks if he tags u along u will also be there for him, beside his wife, to comfort him. This is totally wrong. Think about urself first, ur own feelings and tell him how u feel n make it clear to him that if he goes with this marriage then its the end of ur relationship with him. I hope it doesnt come to this, however, if he doesnt stop the marriage then just move sister. Wish u all the best n if u need more support just drop a line.

syeda 7 months ago

Walaikom assalam noorukh sis,

Yes, it could be blackmagic .I'm nt sure but i heard surah hashr can remove blackmagic...quran has all solutions to ur life right but need to know what works for what. We don't have access to qtv where i reside but yes i had seen few episodes of that show many yrs back. i have emailed my question to them(istekhara.com) and waiting for the reply.

Jazzak Allah khairun noorukh sis u been so kind . I pray May Bless u with Health and give u more deen.Ur doing a very good job by passing such info . Thank you so much for ur patience.

Shazia 7 months ago

Dear Amreen Sis Asalamalaikum,

Even I have gone through this pain he cheated me & got married to someone. Please don't believe in this type of emotions. To my experience I started Namaaz & mostly spent my time in prayer Allah is the one who gives us relief & the best for us. Silently think again Sis the girl who he is marrying is also a woman if anyone comes into our life will we afford her. So she is innocent here, better let him live his life. Pray to Allah Inshallah he will give you the best partner than ur ex. Don't loose hope. Its too hard & difficult to forget but no other option is left. Whenever u feel very upset read 2 rakath nafil namaz & La ila ha ila anta subhanaka inni kuntu minazalimin as much u can Allah will give u peace to ur heart. Remember Sis, Humans are selfish we can't expect anything from them. But our Allah gives us what we expect & the best for us. So pls try to be happy sis.MAy Allah bless you Aameen Sumaameen.

grv11 7 months ago

Thanks dear afzal, noorkh,"helper" for ur kind advice.May god bless all. Even till date i have made several attempts to reconcile but....

Last week i requested my father in law not to go for seperation, even God's throne shakes on divorce, but all in vain, He very stubbornly said he does not want to send his daughter anymore. And at the same time they have not been able to give any substantial reason behind all this. I'm shaken.

I dont know why i still have a feeling that she will return back and god will set all things right for me. This feeling is really making me believe that it is far from over although her parents have clearly stated their stand and even in these modern times she has not made any call in the last 3 months since she left.

I'm getting thinner day by day, it's a strange thing i fail to undrstand how could she do this to me. Unable to concentrate on work i left the job.I've always had the fear of the almighty, i hav not done anything wrong Allah knows it better, i have always tried to walk in God's ppath and still i'm in a sopot of bother.i dont know how to get out of this. How to tackle this challenge. When will the Almighty answer......

Mohammad 7 months ago

One person wrote "He is more than 1000 mothers." I am pretty sure he meant Allah loves us 1000 times more than our mothers or even more than that...

Adam 7 months ago

I am having v.bad anxiety and gastric problem..before i was fit...its been for years i am fighting for these troubles..when get a sad news i cant handle my shelf, feel like im going to passed away or off..i cant help people in a sad situation because of these problem..i love to help people i always want stay in the front line if some thing happen to someone badly. but i cant if get sad news (somone passed away) or a bad news ( a big desaster) ..i dont what is happening to me..suddenly my heart beat increase, shortness of breath is effecting me and same time fyl something is happening to me..dont why this is happening to me..i really dont want happen to me this..i want face these things and want be strong..dear friends please help..please tell me some gud way that i can rid off these things..

hamaisha 7 months ago

asalam alaykum,

as i read the story above and all comments,my heart really shattered because i'm also having problems with my marriage,i have been married for 5yrs now and have 2 kids.Been cheated on,and he likes to talk to other women and keep secrets from me.5 years of marriage my husband stayed with his parents most of the time.Now how can i make my marriage work if he rather live with his

parents instead with me and our two kids.And for his actions and lack of judgement he lost his job and blames me for everything. People have seen how he treated me so bad,especially when i give birth to our second child. After bringing us home from the hospital my husband left and went shopping with his mother didn't come home till the next morning. After losing his job he send us back to California and went back and live with his parents. Now i don't even know what he does,we use to call each other now he won't communicate through phone anymore.He told me email is just fine. No matter how much i try to communicate with him he doesn't pick up my calls,he would return my calls after how many hours. So how will my marriage work out if he tells me he doesn't want me in his life anymore and his personal business is none of my concern that there's no chance for us to be a family again. I have cried so much and pray to Allah to keep my marriage from falling apart. Because i love my husband so much,i did everything I always make sure everyday he walks out of the door his clothes are firmly iron and make his coffee every morning warm up his car rain or shine for him ready for work.And my two kids needs there father and haven't seen or live with their father for almost 2 yrs from now. I hope and pray that Allah will lighten up my husbands mind and thoughts. May Allah bless us all...

maria84 7 months ago

@hamaisha

I feel so sorry after readin ur post. It makes me so sad, it feels like everyone is dealing with troubles now a days. I hope allah make things easier for u inshalla and hope that he gets better. There must be an answer of why he is acting like that, its pity that he cant talk to u. I have same problem with my husband, but Im the one who is avoiding him. Im not doing it with purpose, its so hard to explain, sometimes I wish I was the one who loved him and he would avoid me, cause i feel so guilty and bad, but allah knows I dont do it with purpose and may allah help me and guide me to the right path. May allah guide ur husband to the right path too and give u and ur children all happiness and reward for what u hav been going through, try to pray as much as u can and things will get better inshAllah. Pray for the rest of us too

maria84 7 months ago

@hamaisha

I feel so sorry after readin ur post. It makes me so sad, it feels like everyone is dealing with troubles now a days. I hope allah make things easier for u inshalla and hope that he gets better. There must be an answer of why he is acting like that, its pity that he cant talk to u. I have same problem with my husband, but Im the one who is avoiding him. Im not doing it with purpose, its so hard to explain, sometimes I wish I was the one who loved him and he would avoid me, cause i feel so guilty and bad, but allah knows I dont do it with purpose and may allah help me and guide me to the right path. May allah guide ur husband to the right path too and give u and ur children all happiness and reward for what u hav been going through, try to pray as much as u can and things will get better inshAllah. Pray for the rest of us too

MOHAMMADOWAIS 7 months ago

SALAM TO ALL . FRIENDS PLZ PRAY FOR ME THAT MAY ALLAH ALWAYS BLESSED ME AND MY FAMILY BY HAPPINESS AND JOYS .......

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Hamaisha n the sister who has been SCARRED for Life

Sorry to hear about ur plights. So many sisters have posted similar stories. I believe that a man who is not a good husband to his wife is rarely a good father to his children.

U may not like what I have to say, but if possible please consider my advice. I know its easy said then done, but for our own sake and for the sake of our children we women have to learn to love ourselves and seek security, peace and happiness within ourselves. I myself have been searching for happiness and peace since I was 13 and a half and the best solution I have found is as follows.

One of the reasons for experiencing pain is our attachments to other people and things. Attachment is a very normal thing in this world, its is the norm because the only world we have come know is the physical world(body conscious). We have completely forgotten our spiritual identity (soul conscious) that is who we are, where have we come from and where are we going to? Even though a lot us do our daily prayers, we really do not try to connect to Allah nor do we remind ourselves about our original qualities (mentioned bellow). We do our prayers beacuse its our obligation, but never think that through prayers we can feel our hearts with His love, acquire inner power,boost our self esteem, seek companionship and ask Him to Guide us to the right path. I find calling Allah merciful and Loveful helps me more than just fearing Him, because when we fear something we become defensive, which is a negative emotion, whereas Love is positive feeling which makes people more creative and enthusiastic.

When we attach ourselves to people and seek happiness and security in them we give away our inner strenghts and give them the key to our happiness. The person with the key could either use our trust wisely and make us happy or abuse it. Even if they make us happy that happiness absolutely depends on the person's mood or mercy, as he can easily change his mind and make us unhappy just like that. And the result is devostating, we feel violated, lose self esteem, courage to face the world, self respect, and depression sets in. Even though the person who was supposed to protect us has violated our rights and committed the wrong, its us who do not have the courage to face society and society most of the time favours the stronger party. We make the other party (our partner)stronger simply by losing our own courage and self esteem bcos we gave them the key to our happiness earlier. So what do we do?

We should not allow urself to think that if so and so loved me back then I will be happy or feel secure. If our partners love us its good, but we should be happy regardless because we are on this plannet serving our own purpose. We are not here for onyone elses sake. For happiness, contentments and peace etc we should remind ourselves everyday a few times what our original qulaities are. When Allah created us He has gievn us a lot of qulaities (original qualities) to be happy and peaceful. These are we are souls,(we are not our body) we are peaceul, loveful, we are free (not attached to anybody or possessions), we came alone to this world and will go back alone, we have come from Allah and we only belong to Him. As we are not attached to our possessions or another being we have nothing to lose. Bcos we have nothing to lose we have no fear and beos we have no fear we are free. Once u feel free u will literally feel light, u will not have headache and will be creative and will have positive energy so people or society will respond to u positively, bcos u are positive. Allah has unlimited resources so when feel tired ask Him to give u more of whatever u need, be it self esteem or courage. There is a saying "fortune favours the brave". Success will follow u, u dont have to run after it so long u r positive and keeping ur self esteem high.

If we accept our true identity as a soul(ruh), especially the sister who has been scarred for life, then we are less affected by our looks. Our body is our carrier, nothing more than that. I am sorry for the late reply, I hope if u r reading this u will see that our true self is not our body or our professions, its the unseen aspect, soul.

If anyone have any question or criticism, please ask for clarification.

Emma 7 months ago

p.s

I write in a hurry, realised I made a few mistakes, hope u guys will still be able to understand the message.

Emma 7 months ago

check this link if u want to find out more about how to be happy

http://www.eckharttolletv.com/

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@Mohammed Owais: I think everyone is in the same boat as u brother....u shud not only pray for urself

& ur family but all those in need

Saba 7 months ago

Hi i Know you how feel yoy feel sad if yod read dua your Life is gong to change Allah says if you read the quran and dua your Life change thank you for listing

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Salaam Maria!

Was kindda sik n just started feeling better. Feel so bad not being able to respond since I look forward to this blog more than the other sites I go on.

Yes, u do read that ayah 100x before u go to sleep. It's always read rite before. I'm glad u read the website I was talking abt. InshAllah they'll respond shortly & ur very rite abt telling a nuetral individual.

I liked how u said that problems make faith stronger or make a person go astray. These days I've been depressed :( my ex is getting married soon, just feel so alone n down. I dnt wanna be away from namaaz but I know shaitaan makes me so lazy.... I just wanna be consistent u know.

I'm glad u took an initiative to involve a relative to proceed. I know he's never hurt u physically but emotionally or verbally is not any better. Sumtimes words hurt more than hitting :( I've been there it's hell. And wen u pointed out how u dnt love him, it's important to love in marriage... It's no compromise or temp contract it's a lifetime thing. Without love things r forced which make it miserable.... If u dnt see urself loving him how cud u spend the rest of ur life in happiness sister? Think abt it & hope u get results in dream n from that istikhaara site iA

Plz also pray for me and my life becomes happy again inshallah n ameen for all of us

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Salaam grv 11,

I can understand how hurt u r. I went thru this exact same thing wen I was married in 2003. It's really really hard but u gotta take care of urself. I was miserable. He left in September and never called, emailed nothing. I was devastated. Cudnt do anything in my Normal life. I always wanted good for ppl, never was rude or anything.... It's always those ppl that r tested the most. I know ur making an effort to reconcile but is she doing the same? This isn't a one way street she has to make an effort too to make this work. We think sumthing is rite for us & Allah knows wuts best. U can't just be so miserable and outta touch with reality cuz it's a selfish world. My mom always says that wen we can only do so much and have reached our limits rest is left in Allahs hands. Have trust in him, he won't let u down my friend, I know it's hard but try to seek help if u depressed & let it out in talking or writing as u r here. That'll help u to relieve stress. May Allah help u in these tough times and make ur life happy again. Tc

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Salaam Syeda sis,

I'm happy to see ur msg. Yes ur rite that Quran is a guide to our life. I look forward to ppls replies & these past couple days I was sik. I've been kindda depressed but I pray Allah helps me thru this and makes me closer to my deen.

It's good u emailed the istikhaara.com thing. They should be getting bak to I shortly dnt wrry:)

I enjoy giving ppl info and helping out as much as I can.... We should always care abt those that are experiencing hardship too and not only ourselves. May allah solve all our problems inshAllah and fill our lives with happiness ameen

AMREEN 7 months ago

SALAM,I M PLANNING TO GO 4 HAJJ WITH MY HUSBAND INSHA ALLAH.MY PROBLEM IS I M HAVING 4 KIDS 2 GIRLS N 2 BOYS.ELDEST IS 12 YEARS N YOUNGEST IS 4.I D LIKE 2 LEAVE THEM WITH MY MUM COZ MY SIS IS WITH HER N SHE STARTS ABUSING THEM.I M SOO WORRIED. MY SIS IN LAW IS SAYING SHE LL LOOK AFTR THE KIDS.I M SOO WORRIED.WAT DO I DO?:(

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Ifirdous

Thanks for ur kind words, may Allah bless u too and keep u happy.

Dear Noorkh

I am sorry to hear that ur ex is getting married.May be its good for u as well, it might help u to move on. Think this way sister,"whoever is not mine do I care who gets him?" Some reltionships are never meant to be. Try to move forward and never look back,looking back and thinking about the past and feeling the pain time and again is a waste of time and may cause a long lasting psychological damage to urself.

U r a wise woman one little thing is holding u back and thats ur past. May Allah grant u Peace and Happiness.

maria84 7 months ago

Salam sis noor!

I cant imagine what u are going trough right now but the best thing to do, is try not to think about it. Hope some day soon, u find a partner who u can spend the rest of the life with. Just allah knows when, we never know whats waiting for us, a good thing or bad but we have to be patient.

We already had a big problem in my family, a divorce, therefor I felt i had to get engaged. Who knew in my family that, we were gonna face on big problem more. My family were in hurry and they were like thinkig, lets get our daugther engaged so she can at least be happy but it never happened as we were hoping..so we never know, its more important for us to pray, for not facing another one problem..

Me personally, i think im a bit afraid of ,,what if I let him go ,and the next time I engaged..what if he will be worse than this? haha this is my problem too. Im worried about my future, what if I cant marry again? Even if I get married, what if I like that guy but he doesnt like me? what should i do then?

I know this is something I shouldnt think about, cause it wont help me thinking the way I do. Before I engaged, i was thinking the same..i was so afraid of not loving him..instead of just thinking. I should have react but I didnt ..i just kept quiet and was hoping for things to get better but we will have to make us busy with other things, work or studies, prayer so we dont have to think about our problem all the time.

To be honest, earlier..I was just using social websites, like facebook and so on but lately this is the website I always visit a couple of times in a day ...or im searching for more website with dua and so on. Im happy that we have the opportunity to visit kinds of this website and learn different dua and we see that there a lot of other people with same problem. Marriage problem or other family problem.

I agree with u..it feels like good, the people who are kind,,are facing problem, i have seen many many other people, they do bad things, they hurt people by their comments, they are just curious of other people's life, they dont pray and so on but still its seems like allah have given them all the happiness..

but I must contradict myself, maybe when they are looking to us..they might see happiness in my life and they might think im just not thankful and i dont appreciate what allah has given to me.

He is a nice guy accordin to everyone and everyone likes him a lot and i know they are wondering why im not thankful :S that hurts a lot.

Of course I will pray for u and im always trying to pray for the rest of the people who has left their comments here and everyone who is facing problems. May allah help us and dont let us face bigger problems than we already are dealing with and may allah make our faith stronger.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria

While u r going back and forth in a relationship which doesnt seem to have a future, u r actually wasting ur opportunity to find a husband who is probably going to be better than the one u r engaged to.

No one really knows whats going to happen in the future, its a gamble we all take. Even if u marry this person, as there are already so many problems, how can u be sure he is not going to leave u after he gets his European status?

maria84 7 months ago

@Emma

I know but im so worried and I know if we break up, he wont ever leave this country and everyone will see him as my husband and i wont be able to continue with my life. Im so worried about this, I know I should just let it go and not think about it but only when I think about it, im shaking and my heart beats fast.. therefor I want to try to move with him, but I know, return back wont be easy either. I mean if our problem gets bigger there, it wont be easier to come back either. Im so confused and a relatives is trying to help me but we will see. Maybe he also wants me to let it go and just leave him stay, u know...even if i dont agree with signing his papers..the government here wont send him back, they will let him stay but the only difference is that it might take some more time for him to get the permission to stay here if I dont sign the paper. I dont know if he and the rest of the relatives know that, but im so sure they wont send him.. but as noor earlier said, if Allah wants him to stay, then allah will let him stay. I wont be able to do anything. I hate that im thinking i should have done something years ago when he was not here. But i didnt, i was so afraid and today I have the same problem. I cant make a decision and im still hurt. I thought things were going to get better but inshalla i hope it will do.I hope allah make me stronger and help me with that. Thank u for ur kidness. I really appreciate that.

grv11 7 months ago

@ noorkh786

Thanks a lot for ur kind advice. I have started to accept allah's will. If HE wishes things will automatically get set and If HE wishes it all can end. Have Left it all on HIM. Lets see what HE decides as i await HIS decision. I have done all i could to bring my wife back. But nothing so far has worked. Now i leave it all on HIM.

I have noticed that inspite of u having so many problems, u have always helped others with ur kind words. Its praiseworthy. I, from the inner most core of my heart, pray to the almighty that all ur problems get resolved, allah give u all the happiness in this world.Thanks a lot. God bless all .

grv11 7 months ago

@ noorkh786

Thanks a lot for ur kind advice. I have started to accept allah's will. If HE wishes things will automatically get set and If HE wishes it all can end. Have Left it all on HIM. Lets see what HE decides as i await HIS decision. I have done all i could to bring my wife back. But nothing so far has worked. Now i leave it all on HIM.

I have noticed that inspite of u having so many problems, u have always helped others with ur kind words. Its praiseworthy. I, from the inner most core of my heart, pray to the almighty that all ur problems get resolved, allah give u all the happiness in this world.Thanks a lot. God bless all .

maria84 7 months ago

Some people say leave it to allah, he knows the best and just stop thinkin about it and allah will help but at the same time, other people say, that allah helps but u have to act too. U cant just sit and wait and then thinking allah will help me. This confuse me a lot, I dont know which is right..just leave everything to allah or try ur best to solve ur problem??

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Dear Emma,

Salaam! Thanks for ur reply. Yes, it's really hard for me now and I feel like everyone around me is getting married and their lives r changing and it's me that is still the same.

These days have been horrible for me. Not only cuz my ex is getting married, but ye fact that relatives lives' r getting married who happen to be younger than me and i feel llke a failure. Dunno y these days I've been so depressed words can't explain. Feel like I've given up in asking Allah :( idk y but I just feel like too much has happened where I'm emotionally drained. And ur rite, I do think abt my past a lot since I'm pretty sensitive and. It's affected me a lot where I'm very depressed... I've started to smoke more and feel like everyday is a drag. Dunno if it's situational or wuts going on but plz remember me in ur duas sister Id realy appreciate it. Thanks.

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

Salaam Maria,

Thanks for the message. Yes, I'm trying not to think abt it but just as I told Emma earlier these days I've been so depressed feel like everything is happening al of a sudden. Ex is getting married, my cuzin who is younger is getting married, and I just feel like I'm still the same... Nothing changes. :(

I do wonder wut is gna happen but to be honest I lost hope in asking Allah. My mind is do affected by everything that I have no hope, I'm lke done. I know this sounds bad and a couple days back we were just talking abt how our faith has become stronger, guess this weeks just really bad. I hve no interest in namaz, or asking god for help. I do feel like bad ppl that r rude by behavior to lke u said get so much.... Weird rite? Well that's my issue now. Just feel

Like my life's a drag.....

I know wut u mean by ur parents wanting u to be happy. Mine thought the same but instead it made things worst. I think ur issue is kinda like mine u think too much just like me. I think u get so caught up like wondering will this work? Will he love me? U only hve one mind n dnt deserve to be putting urself thru all that stress. Just let things work out the way there supposed too, dnt be scared be brave. I know I'm telling u this n shud tell my self too but it's easier said than dne....

I really wish my life wud turn around. I never asked for a lot but ppl that dnt wish bad for others due deserve to be a little happy... Not too much to ask for.... Thanks for year duas sis, I hope the best for everyone here too and ppl that go thru it can understand more. I hope ur life has peace and gives u a better idea of what is rite for u. As for me, dunno I guess well see wut happens Sumday.....

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

@ Maria,

I know I feel the same.... U kindda feel

Like ur In the middle and wondering what I do? My mom told me

To try both. That way u won't have regrets of not being able to make an effort and ur mind won't be so confused after all rite? This is particularly for ur situation since urs is kindda different... Hope that helps! :)

Noorkh786 7 months ago via iphone

@ grv11: salaam, it's good to know uve come To the realization of accepting wut god wants for u. It takes time, but u know uve done wut u cud, and I know it's hard to say let time take care of the rest.

Thank you so much for ur kind words, and dua. That's very nice of u and I am happy to read sum positive words wen honestly these past 2 days have been horrible for me. I heard abt my ex getting married, younger cuzin so yea I been very upset. I always try to be nice to others...yet Allah always tested me. I know ppl say he tests those that are dear to him but that's sumthing i and am sure a lot others dnt wanna hear always.. Especially wen ur frustrated. I really hope Sumday my life may turn around. I never asked for a lot in life and to be honest lost hope after these couple days.... So I guess I'll have to see it to Believe it and may Allah help alleviate ur problem and give u clear answers soon! I hope and pray that everyone's problems get solved and they all get piece of mind ameen....

maria84 7 months ago

@ Sis noor!

oh I see u as a strong girl and i believe u can pass trough it inshalla.

sometimes i stop pray too but then i force myself no to repeat that, cause I have notice, when I stop praying, I just get worse and my problems seems so big to me but when i pray, I get hope cause I think allah will help me soon and Im thankful that allah has not made this problem worse than it already is. It helps me thinking like that..but im of course a bit afraid of this might get worse..but i try not to think about it.

I know what u mean, its one thing when the younger get married and it hurts more that these younger people come to u and askin why dont u marry soon..u are gettin older...I hate to hear it but what can we do?

u dont have children? My family use to tell my, be thankful..what if u had children and felt the same way? what would u have done then? So now Im telling u same, try to think and thank allah for not having children. Cause u know, children needs their father as much as their mothers. I have seen couples here having children but get divorced, its so difficult for the mothers...try to stop think abt their husband and the same time, they are suffering cause they cant answer their kids,,where did dad go or in some cases, the fathers are suffering for their wives have left them.

I know this doesnt help us that much, cause we dont look at people with bigger problem than us. We look at people who seem to be happy and have everything and then we get sad and think why allah has given them everything...i use to think so but i know its wrong and it hurts me more..if we start thinking of other with bigger problem, we get at least a little bit thankful and that make us a bit happy too. The important thing is to try us keep happy, cause stress and depressin will by the time, lead us to more diseases and that not good for us. We are just hurting ourselves. We have to keep us happy but its so difficult but we dont have any more choice.

Pray to allah to let ur cousin have a happily marriage, allah says when u praying for other, he will help u too. Sometimes its not easy wishing other good things, esp if these persons have hurted u but we have to try.

I see u and sis emma as strong persons and inshalla Allah will help us all.

They say after every difficulty, a relieve comes...something like that and looking to some people here, I have seen that, hope allah can help us too and help us getting better muslims with good deeds

Thanks a lot for answering me. Im happy to get respond, it makes feel better

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Noorkh

I was depressed not so long ago. I used to stay in my pajamas and would drink tea all day, thinking the next coup of tea would make me feel so much better, but it nenevr did. My mind used to be very sharp, but at that time it was frozeen, disappointment all around me and I could see no future and I had lost hope. Continously taking pain and sorrow, swearing at God for giving me so much pain. I was a living dead.

If I could overocome the depression I am sure u can too. Counselling did not work for, it was Brahma kumaris' teachings that has shown me how to redsuce my sorrow and gain inner peace and when my mind is peaceful enough to reconnect with Allah. Please try to read these three books,(Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert) (the Power of Now and Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. If possible read Eat, Pray Love or watch the movie staring Julia Robert, as u r not feeling depressed. It will help u a lot, its about the author's search for inner peace and ever lasting happiness, while fighting off depression and loneliness.

Dont lose hope sister, I am sure you will find someone who is worthy of u. It takes a lot of courage to survive a divorce( thanks to the double standard of our society), which u have done. Next step is to find happiness for which its extremely important for u to regain ur confidence and learn to love and respect urself for who u are. Once u r completely happy with ur self only then enter a marriage, otherwise u r at a risk of attracting a bad relationship. When we are in pain our judgments are not clear and we make more mistakes than usual.

Please drop me at least a line everyday until ur depression is over and plz remember u r not alone in this. If possible plz get in touch with Brahma kumaris.

maria84 7 months ago

by the way, I know LOVE is so important, cause when u really love someone, u forgive that person..like in my case, My family..not all family members, just some of them..forced me to this. They were not patient and only because some of my friends got engaged, they pushed me too but today, even if its hurts me so much but I still treating them well, not because they are just my family,..its cause I love them too. I love them and therefor I dont think about it all the time, that they hurt me but my husband...i wish i loved him, then i would probably not thinking about him like the way I do. He has tried a lot to talk to me, ask me to forgive him and he has bought many gifts to me, expensive gifts even tough I never given anything to him but after I told him, i want us to leave to the country u came from and we can start all over again, he told me of course.i want this and so on,its does not matter where we live. I love u, and u are important for me, not where we live. but now a month ago, when I told him I still wants to move...then he has changed a bit.. he says u should have told me this earlier when i had not come.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria

When do we leave things to Allah?

It depends on the nature of the problem itself. For example the brother (and a sister) who posted above that he has tried everything to bring back his wife or husband and it hasnt worked. In this situation its best to leave it and see what happenes. Because when someone doesnt have much regard for u and u continously try to please them it produces two negatives for u. One is that u r so busy or obsessed to please them or make them love u that u forget that u as a human being deserve just as much respect as anyone else. And bcos u forget to respect urself, ur self esteem begun to suffer. Secondly, the other person in most cases thinks ok he or she is bellow me. I can do whatever I like n get away with it, bcos they love me so much that they will not be able to live with out me.

However, one should not sit on anything for ever and then blame Allah. Bcos Allah is not going to make anything happen unless we try. U only leave things on Him only after u have done everything within ur power and U leave it for a while, not forever.Allah neither likes the Lazy nor the Hopeless.

Bcos we live in a dark age, according to all the religions, people r prepared to kill people, lie, deceive etc etc n there are far too many natural disasters. Its therefore vital to have a grasp on our own identity n try to raise ourselves above body consciousness. Only then we are able to live in Peace and experience the true power of faith, which is so powerful that no one can disturb it. We r then trully in control of ur lives and ur emotions.

I hear that people who have been blessed with such inner power r not even afraid to die. They think death means the end of suffering and reunion with the Almighty from whom they have come. U may also know that the daughter of our prophet(pbuh)Fatima was happy when leanrt that she was going to die soon bcos she wanted to be with her father and also with Allah.

To me this is total freedom and may Allah help me and all of u to learn to gain such freedom and bliss.

As for wordly love, its a two way thing. One sided love, to my mind is a burden. Its not possible to force urself to fall in love with someone it happnes natuarlly, but u can live without love, u just need to respect ur partner as a human being and appreciate the positive qualities that they may have. However, if u have a strong dislike of the person for whatever reason n this dislike wouldnt go away even after u have tried, then may be its a clear signal that this person is not for u.

A spouse is like a dress, it either fits u or it doesnt. If it does not fit on u or look good on u, no matter how many people say its a good quality beautiful dress, its still not good for u.

However, if u still want to give it a try then please do so whole heartedly, committedly. There is no point in entering a relationship and the whole time thinking where is the escape route.

May Allah bless and all souls who are in pain, especially all the sisters whose lives have been shattered by bad marriages.I pray for all.

grv11 7 months ago

@ noorkh

salaam, its really sad to see u go through all this. After every dreadful night there will be a Golden Morning. Dont worry at all. Everyone has to pay for their mis-deeds, i'm sure those who have made u cry will suffer and ur tears r precious never let it go for undeserving person. Inshallah God will answer ur prayers soon. Look at the history all the Prophets have gone through tough situations and their detractors have always lived lavishly. Until the right time came, God turned the table around, just in a blink of a second.

We all have one thing in common, i.e. we all love God, we r god fearing. If really HE's testing us then we should be honestly submitting ourselves to HIM. Pls for god sake dont bother for those who dont bother u.

My mom says something terrible had to happen to u so God chose the trouble to come in this way, maybe something worst could have happened to us.

We have to believe that something really great awaits us in near future. I want to see the happiness around u n all those in trouble. May God bless us all n forgive our misdoings if any. Dnt worry Allah is with u. May god bless u..

Emma 7 months ago

Hey guys plz watch this empowering video

http://youtu.be/tnaJ60pObao

maria84 7 months ago

Sister Emma

Now I know the difference between these 2 question. I will inshalla try my best to make it work and if its not gettin better, then i will just let it go and concentrate on studies and so on.

U know, we have already had a divorce in my family, a family member and its was so difficult for all of us, my parents and my siblings. I cant imagine letting my family go trough it all over again, but as u say, since im not sure if its gonna work, than its better to try to make a decision now than get married and regret..but i'll see what happens. And u know, why is hard for me acceptin to let him stay..thats because of my sister..she was also married and she brought her husband..but they had a lot of problems and eventually her husband left her and married to a new girl. In her case, she was the innocent accordin to everyone and everyone supported her a lot. he is still here and sometimes my family meet him in the stores or other places and I know its difficult for them so now I dont want to go trough to same problem again, but maybe i will have to stop thinking so far..maybe it wont be that difficult as I think. I will inshalla try my best and see what happens.

I should be thankful, my sister had a kid and she also re married and is alhamdullilah very happy today. Everything happened very fast and allah helped us but it was very hard for all of us. May allah help us all and may allah give u happiness and reward for giving the rest of us advice and answers.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Maria

Wish u all the best, may Allah grant u peace and happiness. Thanks for ur kind words.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Maria,

Thank u for ur positive feedback

I appreciate it. yes I really do think sis emma is a a strong person and im making an effort to come outta this adn not be depressed.

Yes, ur rite. not doing namaaz will only make things worst and make faith less in us. I just been so angry of y i was tested but thts life. My mom always says that we shud see those that have more problems in their lives... its gives u sum peice of mind rite?

No, i dnt have kids. I cud say that happened for a reason too but its nice cuz lke u said its hard ont he children wen they have divorce.

YEs, Ive heard that every hardship there is ease, and my mom told me its inthe quran too. I pray that all our hardships go away... I have suffered enuf and cried so much I lost count.

I feel a little better today alhamdulillah, then i was yesterday and the day before. I am happy to read msgs on this blog, im blessed and fortunate that there are nice ppl like u and others that take the time to listen and respond to ppl. Im very happy to see this :)

Thank u for ur well wishes sweety, talk to u soon! tc

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Salaam sis Emma,

Thank u so much for ur kind words! I look forward to reading everyones replies just as I was telling Maria! Ive been depressed for a long time and its sad how I had to depend on meds to keep it under control, but that was my only option. I dnt wanna be medicated my whole life which is y Im trying to slowly get off one ( Im on 2 diff ones for now) since I also had a brain tumor and I get migraines so it makes sense not to have so many medications in the brain.

I was upset, yesterday and the day before. I cudnt believe how angry I was at God for testing me, swearing and just was a mess... Theres days were i dnt wana get outta bed cuz i feel so down, and all ill do is sleep it off. Well now, skool and work will keep me busy, but I started to smoke so much that this has also made me sick. Im trying to cut down as I have health issues. I will get the books u told me abt and I am looking forward to watching that Julia Roberts movie, the trailer seemed interesting. As far as Brahma Kumaris teachings are concerned, I heard u tell me once that they are here in the US too? It seems like they helped u a lot and Im happy to see that ur outta ur depression and are such a sweet person may God bless u always and keep u very happy! :) Ur wise, intelligent, and cud very well write ur own book and possibly be a life coach.

yes, ur absolutely rite. Its very important for me to come outta this depression and find inner happiness within myself before involving myself in another bad relationship. I was thinking abt how u said that and Im pretty sure that was the problem after my breakup with the ex husband which is y none of the relationships I was in ever worked...

I was very happy today since I got a new job and im looking forward to working despite the fact that I was tired. Today, I felt like Im gna be doing wut I like to for the holidays, at a place Id worked in the past and I will be working again, and I was telling my mom how there are nice ppl like u guys that exist in this world that actually take the time to listen, read, and reply to other ppls problems.... so much patience.

I would love to write to at least once a day, just outta curiosity how do u find the time to put into this?

Thank u again for ur sweet words, may Allah bless u! :)

Noorkh786 7 months ago

@grv 11:

Very happy to see ur msg as well. I know it is hard for me as well to go thru this but alhamdulillah I am feeling a lot better today than the past 2 days. I hve also heard of that saying and its true that there is light at the end of a dark tunnel....

My Mom always tells me that the prophets were also tested and thir opponents were living in such luxury and were enjoying every moment. Its all a matter of timing and thats rite that Allah waits for that particular time and then does wut He needs too.

Thats so true, that we are very God fearing and its a matter of being consistent and liek u said submitting ourselves too Him, since this is really all a test. Im a firm believer that everything happens for a reason too... theres gotta be sumthing behind y all of us ended up coming to this site and are talking to one another and theres still sum hope? :)

Its funny how all moms think alike and have that instict since they are wise and have experience with age. Yes, things couldve been worst for many of us and Im happy that Im not in the position that I couldve still been stuck and miserable with my ex husband so im glad u said that.

I know I cant bring time back and I know that the ppl that have caused me a lot of hurt and made me cry dnt desrve to be happy and I hope Allah shows them very soon too. Then again, I have to move forward with my life and find a way to be happy... Im patient and accept life as it comes. Its not easy but thats all I can do and many of us can rite?

I really appreciate ur kind words and may Allah reward u. I know I say this over and over but ur a deserving and nice person and may Allah bring happiness that awaits u very soon too inshAllah. btw, how are u doing? hope ur better and are not too consumed like u were these past couple weeeks? tc God bless u my friend :)

syeda 7 months ago

Salaam alaikom noorukh sis,

Well everyone has their time so will u INSHAALLAH. i lost interest in the institution of marriage ...yeh been seeing people younger than me settling down...but i think it'll take me sometime to take interest..Sum ppl reaction wud b lyk oh! ur still not married it annoys us a lot...v can't tape ppl's mouth let them do their talking but just don't let their negativity get us. Take care of your health sis don't let this affect your health. Sip some green tea sis...as you got your new job be busy in that. on weekends hang out with your girlfriends dine your fav cuisine n indulge in sum retail therapy this all will make you feel much better.

Dua will always help u and u wud give u the inner strength what u require.I'm sure u'll get a loving and understanding spouse sis INSHAALLAH Ameen. Keep urself motivational sis get that little spirit going and i'm sure things will fall into place by themselves INSHAALLAH.

I received my reply from istikhaara.com thank to ur refernce sis dey gave 2 wazaif but they're in urdu or arabic i dunno the problem is that i can't read urdu or arabic. how do i convert them in english thats a prob. Sorry 4 da late reply been off a while.Allah bless u sis. Take care.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Noor

Salam

I am glad to hear ur feeling better. If u can plz watch this Brahma kumaris link: http://youtu.be/tnaJ60pObao

I used to take anti-depressant as well but it didnt work for me. Now I got so much energy that I do not usually get tired. I sleep very little, still got problem, so there is plenty of time for me to read this blog and write replies.

I think u will come out of depression very fast bcos u grasp things very quickly, just need a little help. Plz keep in touch. Watch the link or seek diredct help from BK, they are very good, very kind and do not expect anything in return. May Allah help u to find Peace and Happiness.

maria84 7 months ago

Salam syeda

Im glad to hear that they emailed u back. they have nt emailed me yet :( but maybe inshalla they will soon.

Hope everything gets better for u inshalla.

maria84 7 months ago

Sis Emma, thanks a lot and I wish u the same.

maria84 7 months ago

hi sis noor!

I know what u mean, sometimes i get mad too and cry and it hurts a lot that we are tested, not the others. Its seem like just im havin the problem, but i try to think to make me happy, that NO, im not the only one with problem..there are more people who is suffering by different problems.

Like brother grv11 say, we should be happy for not having more difficult problem than this.

The funny thing is im sitting here and writing that we should try to keep us happy, not to think about our problem, try to study and work. But seriously, i have a couple of time, started work, but then i have just made my decision to be home, i have started school but i have been able to concentrate. for the 3rd time now, im studying again and this time i will try not to quit. Every morning i wake up in agony, i dont feel good but i struggle to go to the school. Hope I inshalla will be able to finish my study, but sometimes i just skip the school and i want to sleep all day long but this is life and we have to try our best not to loose our hope.

Im glad too that there actually some people in the world who try to make me feel better.

We cant do anything more than just pray and keep us busy with something which make us happy. I hope that all of us soon when we have a happy life again, that we go back to this website and read our problems and think alhamdulilah that our problem is over and that allah the mighty helped us..i hope we can inshalla thank allah for that. Hope allah solve all of our problems,give us happiness, forgive us and we in return, become better muslims. This is my hope and pray for all over us.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Salaam Syeda,

yea ur rite everyone has their time thats wut I keep teling myself... Im glad that Ill be working and keeping busy cuz I wont be as depressed or sad. I am trying my best to be as happy as possible. I was worst couple days ago but I dnt want to be like that always.... If ur so positive and all y have u lost interest in marriage sis? dnt be so negative, theres ppl that have worst problems then all of us and like u say everyone has a time. YEs, I need to buy sum more green adn herbal teas I heard it helps those that are real down or depresesd and of course retail therapy! :p love that part lol

I kno ur rite its hard to see younger ppl getting married and then desis love to talk about those that arent married yet... but it is wut it is patience is wut will help.

btw, if u cant read arabic how do u read qursn in english? honeslty, sister Idk if theyll be able tp translate for u cuz they get hundreds of thousands of emails a day. I can try to help u if u send me the link with the wazaif.... unless u know sumone who can read but then again it may be a personal matter rite? I dnt mind but I dnt want u to feel uncomfortable either. I hope to hear from u soon inshAllah tc and be happy :)

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Salaam sis Emma,

I know I dnt wanna be on meds forever.. dr says that not good either. I did namaaz last nite and I feel better alhmdulillah and wil continue to do so inshAllah. Im very happy that Im not as sick as I was couple days ago.

Ur a living example that came outta this and inshAllah I hope Ill too soon. Wut du u mean I grasp things quickly? I think I do pay attention pretty well and am always observant and trying to learn new things so thats good.

I will definitely get in touch with the BK ppl. I actually saw sum of the video u posted yesterday from the link u put up yesterday. Very nice work :) Im looking forward to getting in touch w/them and will also keep in touch. U tc of urself and may God bless u sis. ttyl :)

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Hey Maria,

how r u sis? Its good u think that way and I try to remind myself all the time that Im not the only one suffering, and it cud been worst just like Grv 811 had said and u mentioned.

I know I have the same problems sum days I dnt wanna get up and get outta bed but then again if I lay there itll make things worst and make me feel probbaly worst then I already do rite. Keep busy and plz dnt let go of ur skool? U worked hard to get to the point of where u are at now and I know it can be so hard to concentrate with wuts on ur mind, but ur a nice grl and u dnt dersve to just face problems and sit at home and think abt that all day.

Just like u say u gotta keep busy and make urself happy cuz no one else will do it so u shud not give up and quit going to skool. I never gave up despite the fact that all thats happened and if can do it inshAllah u can too! :)

If u can think so nicely and have such a good heart then y let urslf give up in sumthing that will expand ur knowledge, brighten ur future and make u feel good abt urself. Im not saying oh go bak full time but take small steps and inshAllah ull start to feel that yes I like this and once u strt to do wel ull automatically be motivated.

yes, I know its nice that there are ppl in this world that are nice too like you and many of us on this blog. One day we'll look bak at this site and think we used to always say all this and that and inshAllah be happy in our lives, i hope we can keep in touch it be nice to kno how ppl r and I pray and hope everyones happy and Allah makes this journey easy for all of us.

P.S. Istikhaara.com usually tries to answer back within 5 days but sumtimes there backed up but be assured that they do get back to u inshAllah dnt u wrry!

tc and plz think abt wut I said.... skools one of the best thing that happened in my life and changed me into sumone I never thought I was capable of being and im very sure it can help anyone with will. :)

acico 7 months ago

SALAM U ALIKUM.how r u all.this is a great and quite sad and painful article.i m male and sorry to hear from u siters.may ALLAH ALMIGHTY gives you strength and peace to face that world.i m also getting married next month and all of these stories opened my eyes and clear alot of my confussions.we always think that male are superiors and they can do whatever they want.but don't know your stories really scares me also but ready to face that challenge with the BLESSINGS OF ALLAH ALMIGHTY and i hope and pray for all of u and very much grieved and feel guilt as a male that how could a person behave with his wife after marrying with her.and i want to convey that message to my unmarry sisters and for married one's also that plz plz obey ur parents deceission respect them they can think best for u.todays media ruined our culture and whole life style moral values every single thing. but sister (IFIRDOUS) ur WAZIFAS which u did duriong ur hard times was MASHALLAH marvelous i can't imagine that.i m praying to ALLAH ALMIGHTY that my future wife is also follow the same path (AMEEN) i pray for all of u and u also remember me in ur prayers.salam u alikum.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Noor

Salam. Sorry for the late reply, I have not been too well lately. Like u and other sisters I am also learning and trying to live as best as I can in any given situation. I must say I have leanrt to regain some control over my own mind and emotions, but still there is a long way to go.

I meant u have the ability to understand things well and fast and thats going to help u overcome depression. Being aware and also being observant are also vital for accessing inner peace and remaining peaceful.

When u feel depressed or thinking about the past, take a step back and observe ur own mind and then gently and with love try to bring ur attention to the present moment. Dont tell urself off, be kind and loving towards urself. Find something good in the present and appreciate it. We, the souls, use our intellect to control our minds, our thoughts. The less thoughts we have in our minds is the better. Meditation helps to get rid of waste thouths and regain inner peace. There is a difference between prayers and meditation. When we pray we talk to Allah n when we meditate we listen to Allah or at least try to listen.

We should always live in the Now. When we are in the Now and do everything that we have to do in the Now, then tomorrow will take care of itself. As far as the past is concerned its history, waste thoughts. Thinking about the future is also not fruitful. Now is what we have to take care of.

take care and be happy

Emma 7 months ago

Dear sister Batool

Salam. Havent heard from u for a long time. I hope u n ur mother are doing well, if not too busy let me know how things are going.

take care and may Allah always keep u safe and happy.

maria84 7 months ago

Hi sis Noor!

It so sad, every morning i dont want to go to school but i force myself since i have my family around me, and they get upset if i dont go to school.

So inshalla i will try my best, i know i will regret if i dont study now, cause i have the chance now. And without eduacation, i wont find a good job.

Inshalla i will wait for an answer from them=)

Im glad too, hope some day we can tell each other that our life is great again and that we dont have any worries hehe =)

Im glad u have found a job and that u were strong enough and finish ur studies.

thanks for ur message

syeda 7 months ago

Salaam alaikom noorukh sis.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better.Yea retail therapy we all love it lol.If the mind is occupied with work we don't tend to think that much thats true.Hope ur always away from depression n happy INSHAALLAH.

I lost interest not for others but 4 myself maybe thats bad n negative...but i'm praying that i get away with it INSHAALLAH...i had clinical depression lack of interest mayb cuz of dat...now i'm getting better ELHAMDULLILAH. ..gradually things will resolve..

Yes, I read quran in english and i manage it with the audio for pronounciation . i will try reverting back to them. JazzakALLAH khairun.

syeda 7 months ago

Walaikom asalaam maria,

Sis, you will receive the mail within five days. i hope things get better for u with the given wazaif INSHAALLAH.

Don't worry u will get a reply from them.

grv11 7 months ago

@noorkh786

Salaam,

Thanks for your kind words.

Mashallah, Good to see u in a better perspective.I really wish u be happiness all the time. Until we accept that it has happened to us we will never be able to come out of depression. One thing i have noticed is that we should look at distracting ourselves from current situation, make ourselves busy and do things that can make us feel happier. Now start to live for allah first and then for urself. Do things that pleases u. Lets make it a point that this is transition will take us to a new horizon which will be free of sorrows/sufferings/pain .This is what i've been trying at.

I had again called up her father-in-law, tried to find out the reason behind all this and tried to convince him that if ever i had commited a mistake or hurt her in anyway (knowingly or unknowingly) i'm ready to be sorry (Although God knows, that i have not done anything wrong).But he was answerless.After trying to avoid me he finally said that he does not want to send his daughter and that i better forget her. Throughout the day i cried and still requested The Almighty to take care of me and all this.

I still hope that better sense prevails and my wife and her parents rethink and she comes back sooner. But If she doesn't, i will accept it as my fate (have no choice). I have started occupying myself by reading inpirational books, prayers and worshiping.I'm really thankful to allah, for giving me support when i need the most, from my close friends, family members and of course u all. Things are little better as i have begun to accept it all as Allah's will.

You are very right that there is a purpose in everything. Its really grt that i came across u all, before i had no idea about others' sufferings. I was so very absorbed in my darkness. After sharing with those who too are in similar situation and getting their replies make feeling better.

thanks for ur kindness, n speaking so good of me, thanks. May allah replace ur darkness with bright sun shine. May God wish you luck and happiness, God'll take care of all ur wishes.

tina 7 months ago

i am happy that i came across your profile...i am lost as to who to talk to in regards to my problems...i just need a listening ears and be among positive period...i am so broken into pieces...i just went through a major operationlast week and eventually was caught by the authorities for violating some rules in running a business and im still waiting for the sentence..maybe if im guilty i will be convicted either prisonment or imposed a very high penalties, just yesterday accidentally found out my husband slept with another woman and all this happen at this period when i in need of support...i really upset as to why this happen one after another...i am so faithful and so loyal to my husband...even though he abused me and humilate me in public but i have accepted him as he is....many times he hurts me deeply in his words and behavioral but i thought he is tired and agitated because of his work...but i see so many changes when he stop to care about my kid's pampers and milk, he stop maintaining the family, he became more aggressive and he always pick reason to fight with me. i could not sleep thinking why am i in so much pain now? i have 3 children and they are 3, 1 year 10 mths and 1 years old. this 3 children is my life and just by looking at them it erases lighten some pain. my husband always say im fat and ugly and always ask me to look myslef in the mirror and i begin to accept that i am not attractive anymore to him...may allah swt guide me to a straight path...amin

farnaz 7 months ago

i've done a lot of prayers for getting a job

but allah did'nt listen to my prayers.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Tina

Sometimes we get so much pain in life becos Allah wants us to get close to Him. Some situations completely brake up and as are about to give up on everything we see a new dimension in life. Situations in life break us into peaces and make us

Emma 7 months ago

@ Tina

a new person with a new perspective in life. I must be really hard for u to cope with the problems and care for ur three very small children. Have faith in Allah and u will find a solution to all ur probelms.

Right now just say to urself that everything is going to be OK. Do not pay attention to what ur husband say about u being fat etc, bcos he is saying this in order to make himself feel good about his adultery. He is the one who has wronged u n the children n by his conduct he must have lost all his power n influence over u. Look at urself in the mirror and say thanks to Allah for giving u a perfect body, i.e perfect hands and legs and good eyes, ears and everything n the ability to have perfectly healthy children n a heart to love them. Also see the person whom u have neglected and that person is U.Plz try this and say these words as if u really meant them, might take a little practice, but it will work.

Plz dont fight with ur husband nor play his games. He is blowing hot and cold at his own convenience. Regain ur inner strenghts n talk to him when U want or dont talk when u dont want to, U decide. Dont waste ur energy hating him, bcos he is not worth it. Ask family or friends to help u out with the children or the social services and if u tell the authorities about the problems u have at home they might look into ur case with sympathy.

I hope u get well soon and all ur problems resolve. May Allah grant u the strenghts .

fahmi 7 months ago

Fahmi

Masha allah Emma u are doing a wonderful job ,consoling

those in grief.Your kind words do lighten their burdens.jazakallah khairan kaseeran

Iwatched the video u had sent the link, very interesting It explaimns that since stress = pressure/Resilience .Now since we dont have any control over external pressure the only way left with us to control stress is by increasing resilience, which is our inner strengths

So how do you build that inner strengths? you have to provide your mind a good reason only then it obeys you

1)By assuring that the remote control of your happiness is always in your hands,and lending a dumb ear to those who criticize u or try to make u unhappy.

2)A Muslims innerstrength is from his strong faith in the hereafter ,so in the begining lines of surah al Baqarah when the world believe is used for faith and revelations the word yaqeen(faith with surety)has been used for the hereafter. so a muslim believes that everything small or big will be brought into account

Human beings are accountable for every single deed they have done be it very small or too big .and in the final abode there is good recompense to those whose good deeds are heavy and hell as the dwelling for those whose sins had weighed them down.

Emma 7 months ago

Dear Fahmi

I inner strenghts is not resilience, its a huge virtue. U r right its linked to having faith in our Creater, who has created us all and who alone will decide who is going to hell and who is going to heaven. U quite rightly mentioned that we have to give our mind a good reason to obey us, which is our faith in Allah. We are soul, the unseen, we control our minds through our intellect.

The message on youtube doesnt say u turn deaf ear to criticism which r justified. Taking remote control in ur hand means u do not let other people run ur life, u take responsibility for all ur thoughts, conducts, actions and intentions. U also do not let another person upset u by their conducts. In fact thsi remote control analogy is all about accountability. It tells us to watch our own accounts, rather than trying to find faults in others, it also tells us not to waste our time in blaming others even when the other person is crealy at fault. Bcos blaming doesnt help us to move on n more importantly, talking from personal experience, when u get into the victim mentality its very difficult to overcome depression if u r depressed.

In addition to this when someone annoy u bcos they r jealouse of u or hurts u etc and u react n hurt them back, if u hurt them more than they have hurt u, then u r in trouble, if u take the insult all the time they will do it more. So when U have ur remote in ur own hands, u neither let them carry on nor do u overeact. U respond to the person who is hurting or annoying u in ur own time without losing ur own cool. So u r less likely to overstep the mark n it should go into ur account as a credit, not as a debt.

When we are aware of our own actions n thoughts and intentions, we r then in a position to judge whether the critisim is justified. In this alert state of mind we r also fare and more tolerant. I have noticed there r lot of people in this world who criticise others bcos they r jealous of this person or they want to supress them or want to put them down or its their habit. One should never listen to these people's criticism, bcos their intentions r bad n they mean harm to another person. So taking the control in ur own hands is the safest option for here and hereafter.

thanks for ur comments

fahmi 7 months ago

Thanks Emma for explaining as to what it means by taking remote control in your hands means.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Dear Emma,

Salaam Thank u for the kind words. I am not feeling well these days either which is y I had no motivation to come online :( I hope ur doing better from the last time I saw ur email and I apologize for the late reply.

Friday I saw my ex bf. The one who was supposedly getting married, had a fiance and was telling me all this for the past month or so. It comes out that there is no such "fiance" and that there is a grl at his work back home in India who likes him and has decided to propose to him, although she is Hindu. He really didnt have an answer... but I felt hurt hearing this since I was involved with him at one point. I know it was in my hands to see him Friday and I chose too since hes helped me a lot and I wanted to gift him sumthing. Little did I know this wasnt the best idea since meeting just stir up a whole lotta other emotions and made me more depressed than I already was that week and it was definitely a big mistake. I feel like wenever I meet him there is nothing really that has come out of this (within the last year or two, since we broke up in 2009.) I feel very low of myself that he is telling me all this wen I was the one who always initiated and wanted to work things out.... sux but me being lonely and depressed at this time I didnt feel so bad meeting him friday at the time. This guy obviously doesnt know wut he wants, hes almost 31 doesnt know wen he wants to get married or wut he wants in life as far as his personal/relationship life is concerned.

This whole weekend I felt like shit. I was depressed, upset, angry at my self for meeting him and contemplating y I make bad decisions. I feel so much better wen I dnt meet him and have no contact with ppl from my past... which is probably the best thing to do at this point is to cut all ties with him. All I think of him now is sumone who has always wanted to pass time. He never wanted to be the same way I did and I think wutver there was between was always one-sided... and Im so sik of it. Today, while im sitting at work I felt so sik coming in I wasnt even able to stand. My mind is always consumed in other things that I get horrible migraines like I did today... worst feeling ever. Being depressed this whole weekend made me not wanna go to work yesterday, felt lazy, slept throughout the day and I just cant take this feeling anymore... literally makes u miserable and Idk y wenever i am depressed I start to turn away more and more from my religion- hate namaaz, or anything that is relavant to islam astaghfuruallah :( I sumtimes cant believe how I was and wut this depression has made me.

Thanks for pointers u gave me and I have gone ahead and emailed the Brahma Kumaris place and I look forward to hearing from them.

I hope and pray that ur better and are making sum progess within urself. Plz remember me in ur duas as well and I look forward to hearing from u sister.

Take care and be happy.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

salaam Maria,

Sorry for the late reply. I know that its hard to go to skool, but u hve to distract ur mind from this since its very involved in wut ur thinking abt. U need time for u too and need to be away from sum of this.

Just remember dnt give up. Giving up wil make u regret this later on and u dnt wanna do that since u have enuf going on.

Im almost done with skool, but I can say that I look forward to skool since it helped me with a lot of things in life and Im sure itll help u too inshAllah.

Take care and I hope ur well.... I havent been too well just as I wrote to Emma earlier I saw my ex and Im disgusted by how sum ppl always lie... I just hope my life changes and all of our lives soon insAllah Im so tired of it.

tc and i hope u got ur reply from that site.

Noorkh786 7 months ago

Salaam Syeda,

Sorry for the late reply, I wasnt feeling all that great this past weekend which is y Iw asnt online too much. My other posts to Emma myte answer the question since my life is full of suprises....

I know hun, Im depressed too and trying my very best to feel better inshAllah. Thanks for the dua may Allah always keep u happy and outta depression iA :)

But I wil tell u this much the retail therapy part this weekend made me feel sumwut better :) I luv shoes and all so yea that can def make ur mood better lol

I know ur sad now abt the whole marriage things and thats how i feel sumtimes no lie, I wud definitely say that the depression part will make it a lack of interest for the time being but inhsAllah things will change and ull think abt this later on and be like yea thats how i feel now, so much better and happy! =)

I hope u were able to get intouch with the ppl on that website and hopefully they get back to u soon. tc and be happy sis

Noorkh786 6 months ago

salaam grv811:

sorry for the late reply. I wasnt all that well this weekend either.. its like Im okay for a couple days and sum stuff alwyas cmes up. My depression makes me farther from allah & our religion these days. I know i shudnt be saying this but I dnt like how I feel like this :( Ive heard this saying that problems will make ur faith stronger or lessen and make u weaker. I hope Im not one of those... inshAllah.

Its good ur keeping urself busy and im happy that uve started to realize that and keep urself away from such distractions. I know its hard but its well worth it. Thats wut im trying to do more these days... working, going to skool and keeping myself away from unnecessary stuff.

I know how hard it is wen u dnt have an answer and y ur wife is mad. Wen u said u called her father- in-law and tried to find out wutever is going on with this current situation... u are honest and Ive been in the same situation and honest ppl always have an answer to defend wut they are saying. Wen u said that he doesnt have an answer that clearly says sumthing too. Ppl dnt stay mad that long especially if sumone is married or truly truly loves u they will NEVER stay mad that long trust me. I know how it hurts, I used to cry all day and asked Allah to make this work between me and my ex but obviously there was sumthing wrong and Allah knows wut we do not. This is a hard time for u and maybe we all here can understand or maybe I can more since Ive been thru this same exact thing. I wanted answers, everything on my mind was WHY? Why is he not answering, wut did I do, Im sorry and pretty much the same words ur using now. Theres a quote: " Sumtimes u have to let certain things go... if it cmes back to u it was meant to be, if it doesnt than it was probably not meant to be.

If this is where ur heart is then I hope Allah puts this in her heart too cuz I know how bad it hurts. Just remember, love isnt one-sided. U can have feelings there doesnt necessarily mean others will so plz be ready for a yes or no answer thats the best thing at this given point in time.

I am glad u came to this site too, now u know that there are many other ppl that are suffering like u and ur not alone... I hope u make the best outta this inshAllah.

And no problem... Allah always test those nice ppl idk y but he does and I have learned that the hard way too. Ur a nice person, and u deserve good. Just do dua that wutever Allah does is in ur favor AMEEN tc of urself friend, and be strong... Allah Kareem inshAllah ull have ur happy days back too dnt wrry. :)

Jazeera 6 months ago

Asslamwalekum,

YA Allah Help us ALL.

Ameen

zehra 6 months ago

asalaamoalikum;

i m 26 yrs old girl.i m a teacher .i fell in love with a boy of 33 yrs age.he send his family at my place and my family likes his family very much,my amma n abba said yes for marriage and the very next day my family said "no" to his family .each n every 1 is shocked of my boy friend family.and at that time i was in the school he called me on my cell that our proposal is rejected by ur amma.i was shocked.when i was reached at my home and i asked my ammi what happened y u said no.she said ur cousin sis called me frm dubai and said that phuppi dont say yes there becoz that boy family is not good as he belong to barber family.but this is not truth.my cousin's husband unlce says this.as he is enemy of my boy friend family.he is a liar.now my parents is not agree for the proposal.and i want to marry him only. plz suggest me some dua aur wazeefa.

aliza 6 months ago

salam,

I am going through very bad marriage. My husband has no interest in me and had a bad character before marriage. He had innumerable relationships before marriage and at the time of engagement with me which of course i wasn't aware of . I have a 3 year old son and is married for eight years. I have just passed my life crying and sleeping. He verbally abuses me which hate the most.Please , tell me some dua or a suggestion as i don't know what to do with this miserable marriage .

tina 6 months ago

thanks emma for your kind advice and it really make me feel better, now the more i try to dig my husband with the other woman the more depressed i got and now i knew how far they had gone and how far is their relationship and found out my hubby even buy a house for her, and after my hubby knew that i know all about him, he try to divert my mind and bought me a condo, he is rich and always buy me property when he knew he has done many mistakes to me, but im depressed not happy even if he shower with gold because i love him so much and it hurts me deeply that he betray me after i gave him 3 kids... today my hubby gave me something shocking news; he told me that some religious scholar said that somebody had done black magic to my internal organ and i am going to die in 2 months time, it is so unbelievable to listen to that and i told him that i dont have any suspect except him if that is the truth, it really tires me down and it really weary me down to listen to something like that, i am really in depression and very stressful and i really fearful if i have to lose my husband, more i think about it more i fear and more my love for him grew....lost as to what to do and i feel so lonely suddenly..

Emma 6 months ago

Dear sisters Noorkh, Tina, Aliza salam

I am not too well physically but its the mind thats causing the problem. I am spending a lot of time listening to guided meditations and also meditating myself. I know u r in a lot of pain right now and believe me sister u r not alone. The good thing is that we all are trying to live a happy life, so we got a collective energy field. I am posting a link here full of self esteem building meditations plz listen to them.

FussyLittlePrincess

I glad to here Noorkh u have been in touch with BK. They will help u, just give urself plenty of time sister. I will write to u soon. Sorry for this short reply.

I would suggest to both Tina and Aliza and all souls in pain plz seek help and build up inner strenghts. Plz conatct Brahma kumaris. They are running their organisation in 120 countries in the world.

Write to u all soon. plz take care

maria84 6 months ago

Hi sis Maria

thanks for ur answer..I have been able to come online caus my net has not been working since friday, but its alhamdullilah working again, i was so looking forward to come to this site and read the comments.

Oh i didnt know that u have met him, i know how hard it must be but thats how life, sometimes we feel better, and sometimes we dont feel well.

They have not answered me yet.. I will inshalla send them a email again, they will probably answer me :D

I have been feeling better a bit, cause Im still in touch with the relative who is trying to help. He didnt answer me for a week, and i got so worried..i tought maybe he has changed his mind and is not gonna help me but then I got an email today and he had written that he was busy and he has not been able to send me...inshalla everything will be fine, I hope.

Im reading surah yasin a lot and that makes me feel a bit better.

I hope u also get better soon.

U know what, today i got a call from a job. I got so happy, he told me to come on friday..he said they needed me and asked me if I was intrested..I got so happy :D I will inshalla continue with my study cause i dont wanna quit. I will hurt my family a lot if I quit. They want me to be happy and get an education so I will try my best. But sometimes Im so lazy and dont wanna get up..but i have been visitin a doctor to, he will check why im so lazy in the morning..

Plz let me know how u feel..I hope u are better

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@Emma,

salaam! Thank u for the reply. I hope ur a little better, and I understand ur not well. We all miss u greatly here :(

Plz take care of urself and I hope wutever it is u do feel better and may Allah ease ur problems.

I did get a response from BK, and will touch base with them soon. Thanx for the links and I hope to talk to u soon inshAllah. U r doing the right thing by doing wut ur doing with the meditations n all and seems like u r well focused at least on that aspect.

feel better :)

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@Maria,

Salaam, I figured that message was towards me since it sounded like it was :P

Yea I know everyone I know has told me that wasnt the best idea and it def wasnt. Yup, ur rite thats life and its not fair but u just have to accept things and move on.

Dnt wrry, thats wut happened to me and they didnt write back for sum time and then after several days they finally got back to me, so im sure theyll respond to u asap.

Im glad ur feeling better alhamdulillah, u certainly sound better and its good to see u like this, may Allah always keep u happy inshAllah :)

Sumtimes its a matter of time and I know I get a little nervous and worried and assume things like u were... its okay tho sumtimes that happens and im glad he responded, hopefully things work out in ur favor iA

I need to start reading Quran too. This past week I was so so upset and depressed that I didnt wanna read namaaz or read Quran astaghfurullah. I was so angry about everything and Ive noticed I get mad at my religion wen things abt my past come up or things that remind me of it :(

Thats awesome! Im so happy for u, inshAllah this will be good for u too and ull keep busy and ur mind wil be distracted. And its good ur realizing the importance of school and u deserve to be successful too in life iA and u seem like a nice grl who gives importance to family which is real good :) keep it up!

Sumtimes I feel lazy too like today, didnt wanna get up was running late to skool and just felt so sik :( Its not a bad idea to be checked out by a dr, that will give u assurance and ull know y u r that way. Ive been getting horrible headaches these days, probably becuz Ive been so consumed in wut has been going on with my ex that its given me a headache... Im also worried for my aunt since its made my mom depressed that her sis is so sik and in a life and death matter, may Allah give her health and plz remember her in ur duas as well. I feel horrible, and really take things sensitively...

Thanks for ur concern and I hope I get better too as time progresses inshAllah and may Allah keep u happy like u are now and all of us here/elsewhere that are experiencing distress... Ameen.

Take care hun, hope to talk to u soon :)

maria84 6 months ago

asalamalejkom Noor

I dont why I wrote Maria..yes the message was to u ;)

Thanks a lot, im havin my ups and down, one day i feel well and the other im not feeling well.

I hope u can start praying again for ur own sake. I do sometimes the same thing, i just stop pray cause i get mad...i see my other siblings or friend happy even tough they r not praying, or i see them doing haram things..for some moment, it hurts a lot but then I ask allah to forgive, i dont wanna be jelous but thats life. Some feelings, u cant control it but plz try to pray,,cause i know when i STOP pray. i dont get better,,i just getting even worse.. when I pray, I get hope and think allah hear us and will inshalla soon help us- u probably feel the same. I know exactly what u mean and i supose most of us who is dealing with problem, is going trough this..i wont help us or lead us anywhere if we stop pray..just pray and then its up to allah..we have to trust him. allah loves us all and testin us and will eventually help us, I HOPE.

Thank u, yeh inshalla they will probably email me soon. Sis Emma has asked me before to read istikhara and my mum did it do, some months ago. She told me, if u cant make a decision...do istikhara but i dont know why I have not done it.

I wonder, can anyone else do istikhara for me? Maybe allah will show this person and then that person can tell me what she/he saw in her/his dream?

I tried dua u told me, 101 times before go to sleep..i have not seen anything in dream.

Some months ago, i dreamt i was sitting on stage with my husband in white dress. It was my wedding and i was so sad. I was sittin on stage and wantd to scream and cru but I couldnt cry cause everyone would see me. Many times , i have been dreaming that bad dreams.

But many many times in reality, i have been asked..if u dont wanna continue, its okay, that's it. U can start a new chapter of ur life now, family members have asked me this and they have told me ..just quit ur relationship and we will support u. but my heart was just beating so fast and i was like noo. I will try my best to make it work. I dont know why im so confused, why i cant make my decision.

Both is hard for me, to continue with him and to let it go. I hate it and i think just allah and istikhara can help me. I havnt been talking to him for 2 years..it not normal..a nomal, happy couple should be talkin to each other, share things and respect each other. But I hate the way it is. How can I pretend that im feeling well when I know Im not.. ysterday i was thinking everything is gonna be fine but today im nervous again. I dont know why Im like this. Today i dont feel well, because a friend of mine told me ...i saw ur husband today..he is very kind and he is such a good boy..( she doesnt know anything about my problem ) I just told her, yeh he is a good boy..i know she doesnt suspect anything but i have some other friends..they know i have a problem, cause i never hang out with him or talk to him but this friend..she has not notice this herself..but i just got sad, cause i was thinking i wish i wasnt engaged to him. I wish allah would help me that day when I knew and was scared of this. i was so afraid of what if i marry him and im not happy with him... my problem has lead other problem in the family..my little brother who is just 12 years..sometimes when he get mad, he can just stop hittin me or my mum..and then he screams to me why are u still here..why dont u move to ur husband...if u dont want him, divorce him.. u cant treat a person like that..he is just a small boy and he is so worried because of me. Im also tired about not being happy with my life or being grateful..i have many other things to thank allah for but i feel im just a person who never gets thankful..my husband is almost perfect..every girl,all my friends tell me lucky u, what a good man god has given u. they dont know whats going on in my heart..

Maria84 6 months ago

I watched this 2 days ago and i got so ashamed..look what this poor guy went trough...and me still complainin and not happy abt my life..watch this..its a very good clip. a story about a father and a son..tears felt down while i was watchin it...

nuhaa 6 months ago

I have very annoying and noisy neighbours...they are so bad people.At night at 11hr they put on their radio and this annoys us because we i am a student of f4 and by brother of university,so we are disturbed by this loud music when we are revising..when we try talking to them they make more noise than they were making before..we dnt know what to do..and we cant complain tothe police also...they disturbed our studies and our sleep everyday...fed up now..

maria84 6 months ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_3QqK3xgGI

Maria 6 months ago

I m suffering from 9 months can any one answer me what to do now my husband beat me and I come to my mom home he said forgive me and now I promise by the name of Allah I won't do it again after 2 week he said go I don't wanna leave with u . Thn I went to consulate to solve matter there he said I leave u today and after 10 year too. But now he said come to my home . And the problem is that I leave with my in laws and they don't want me to come back and how can I trust him can any one suggest .

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Noorkh

Thanks for ur kind words, I am feeling much better today. I read ur posts n it just reminds me how i used to search for happiness or something to fill the hollow that was inside me created by the psychologiocal abuse that I suffered.Anyone, whether, family or not I got closed to made me feel even more insecure, taking advantage of my situation. Talking from my experience I think u r still in a volatile state and ur ex is a player so plz keep urself away from him. He is a threat to ur happiness and inner peace becos u still have feelings for him. If u search ur heart n mind u may find that it is not even love that u feel for this guy.It is probably ur own need to fill the emptiness, or some other need that is actaully making u feel u still love him. We all r rational beings n we cannot love a person who gives us sorrow. Only Love attracts love, its a two way thing.

If possible try to find out whats ur need, the thing thats making u feel unhappy n take it from there.

May Allah bless u.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Maria

How long have been married for? If ur in laws dont want u to go back then may be ur husband beats u up bcos he is being influenced by his family. He beats u up bcos they encourage and tells him things about u n thats why he beats u up. Well if u give more detail then it would be easier to advise u and also u will get correct advice.

He has no right to beat u up, but for the sake of clarity what does he say the reason. I think just do not go yet,since he has not been able to keep his promises before. Ur life could be at risk.

Emma 6 months ago

Nuhaa

cheeck with ur local authority to find out if they have a noise control team who will take action against the neighbours for playing music so late. Usually they are very tough and can take legal action against people who cause nuisance like that.

zaheer abbas astori shekong 6 months ago

wooa..... your tale is really incredicle..itz natural truth that dua is the most expedient medicine for solving problems...may god bless you and live long with pleasures..ameeen

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Tina

I think ur husband is the reason for ur depression. Considering that he has bought a house for the girl he is having affair with, may be ask him to pay a very large deposit into ur account. It will help ur children n u, u never know what he is going to do next.

Everyday try to meditate for at least 10 minutes. Close ur eyes take deep breaths and say "I Respect Myself, I love myself as I am and my life is Beautiful." Repeat them and add more words as u wish.

Ur depression is not going to leave easily unless and until u learn to respect and love urself n emotionally detach urself from ur husband. Remind urself that u r the most important person in life and ur children need u.Dont believe in jadoo, just try to keep a clear head, clean house, read or listen to the link bellow, dress well and take good care of urself and ur children.

Seek Help in Allah.

Emma 6 months ago

http://youtu.be/0OHHWagJ6mY

Cure for Black Magic

Maria 6 months ago

Dear Emma,

9 months ago I got married . And my in laws say things about me to my husband and he always think he is rite and he said I will not come to take u but u will come by your own and I will not give you a separate home for you .His reason of beating me was my parents he stop me to meet my parents.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Maria

It doesnt sound good at all. First of all if a person thinks he is always right, then its impossible to reason with them. Its a sign that this person is not going to learn or alter their way of thiniking and behaving.

its ur natural right to see ur parents, he has no right to beat u up any way. If u go back by urself, without him coming to take u back, then he his ego is going to get bigger n next time he may become even more abusive.

I think speak with ur parents and try to get the Sharia council or someone other organisation involve. Someone should have a word with ur husband and in laws about this, bcos marriage grants specific rights and duties n it is not a licence which gives the husband the right to beat up the wife. I would say do not return to him.

Where are from? If u r in a Western country then try the law which will put him in his place. But if u live in a country where women's rights are suppressed then avoid going to the law.

Take good care of urself n remember ur life has a purpose of its own, it doesnt depend on ur husband.

Let me know how things are going.

Maria 6 months ago

Dear Emma,

Thanks for the kind words I am not going back and the big problem is my husband and my in laws lie alot .and they don't want to face people and want to sort out that matter he just said if u want to come back doors are open for you but my family and friends not a single person advice me to go back to him.

Maria 6 months ago

Dear Emma,

Thanks for the kind words I am not going back and the big problem is my husband and my in laws lie alot .and they don't want to face people and want to sort out that matter he just said if u want to come back doors are open for you but my family and friends not a single person advice me to go back to him.

Batool 6 months ago

Aslamalakum

Dear sister Emma you doing great job. Almighty Allah bless you for this. Keep on praying for me & for my mother.

fatima17 6 months ago

I love some one since 8 years, when i was in class 12th i used to go for tution from him. He proposed me but now after 8 years he refuses to marry as he says his mother will not allow bcos he is shia and i m sunni. He says if he would marry me his entire life will be ruined. Tell me wat to do... i cant live without him, i hav never thought of anyone except him in these 8 years. My parents are looking proposal for me but i make excuse evrytime bcos i want to marry only him. Please suggest me any dua or wazifa that can soften hia mother and his heart for me so that he agrees for our marriage. Please help me..i m depressed and i dont know wat to do..please help me khuda k liye help me

Ami 6 months ago

Dear Fathima

My suggestion is that u visit this website

http://www.al-islam.org/index.php .this will clear most of our misconceptions about shias. I think his mothers heart will be softened if you develop and show love and respect to the Prophet's family in you talk and deeds.

Here is an excellent dua

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_jD3OVD0u0&feature

fatima17 6 months ago

Shukriya Ami,

Thank you for reading my problem but I dont have any direct contact with his mother that she will listen to my thoughts all i can do is i can show respect to Prophet's family in my discussion with the person i love, but he knows that i have respect for prophet's family, he knows that i m religious n namazi .I even told him that i m ready to change my self and i m ready to live according to him.... still he say's no one will agree. I beg you please provide me any wazifa that can soften his and his mother for me , i read suraah yaseen once daily n surah rahmaan also , i offer namaz regulerly..please , please suggest me any wazeefa that can soften their heart for me and the boy can understand the pain which i m going through.

Saani 6 months ago

Salam

I am taken aback.....so many sisters with issues similar to mine. Pray all your duas are answered Inshallah, Ameen.

I had serious social issues as a kid and grew up scared of relationships. I never wanted to marry because of it and lived in depression for the fear of being alone. Islam kept me strong but as the years passed, everyone I knew was getting married . I focused on paradise and being with my partner there and prayed to God that i never fall in love here. As i neared my 30s..a deeper depression grew and i went to my home country to deepen my faith but to my shock i met a cousin whom i instantly felt attraction for. He is younger than me by a number of years but his constant smiles, quiet nature and the attention he gave me, grew my liking for him. For once i never felt so safe and secure with a male that my fear of relationships reduced. I made constant duas for us to be together and for him to open up to me because of his quiet nature. I knew I was a very good natured girl of deen and, although older then him, I still had a bubbly young nature which a lot of people loved about me. Because I liked him so much I asked him if he wanted anything from where I lived.

When i returned home I was very depressed and cried everyday because I missed him. My dua was then answered when my cousin mailed me but keeping a good link with him proved difficult since he was not as responsive as i hoped he would be. Also I feared that he only initiated the talk to indirectly remind me that I promised him some gifts. But he never mentioned the gifts so i kept making dua, understanding that he wasn't much of a talker anyway..especially online.

Months later i returned to my home country and gave my cousin his gifts. He was very happy and gave me some very special moments. He made many jokes, offered me drinks and to my surprise sang a number of songs. It wasn't perfect..he still didn't talk much but i put my trust in God and made dua everyday for my cousin to open up to me when he was ready. But when I returned home again, I broke down again. Things were made worse because unlike last time..my cousin did not mail me to see how I was. Sadly my depression deepened and hit rock bottom and I left my job as a result.

But again I put my trust in God and mailed my cousin, wanting to believe he was just shy since he just didn't talk much. We did keep in contact although months later he asked for more gifts and I had them sent to him specially. Sadly I noticed he still didn't open up and talk about himself and life in general which caused my negative thinking to increase that i felt i was doing something wrong...that maybe it was because i was ugly...boring...older. I still tried to have faith in my dua and knew I had to be patient and have trust in God.

I then went a third time to my home country (a year later) with new confidence...wanting to really come out of my shell and get my cousin to open up to me. But to my hurt...he seemed a different person and hardly gave me direct attention. He was still polite but his attention was glued to the computer and to my shock I caught him hooked to a female stranger on the internet. To my hurt with the few days I had staying at his house..he spent hours on the computer while I was left on the side lines. I tried to come up with ideas on having some fun, even getting him to sing like last time but he avoided it. The only time he gave me was when he played a computer game in which I watched in silence. I was empty by then...my tears dried from crying daily for the past year for him to open up to me. I wanted to die but still i kept making dua for him to open his eyes and treasure the good I had to offer him. I tired to be forgiving because he still has a young mind compared to me and simply wanted to be a good friend at this stage. Bizarrely on the last few days of my stay he did open up and showed his real sweet side again. He even took my hand, observing it for some odd reason. He gave me those same smiles and even asked me to walk with him. I thought God was answering me. But on the very final day his goodbye seemed rushed and lacked emotion and i was left confused. I told him to stay in contact and I knew this was the real test to see if he really cared but my negative thinking said he would never mail me. I returned home empty and drained feeling he was gone forever. I was hoping to be surprised and hear from him.....but Its been 2 months and he never once posted me although he would come on daily posting to others.

Due to this my faith fell down....and duas seem meaningless to me. I made duas everyday for him, after each prayer and late at night. I followed the correct dua etiquette and rulings. Yet here I am ..alone...depressed...and him still on my mind.

i care for him so much. he isnt a bad person but is still a young adult and probably is still expereincing life..especially females. but we are here not for this world but for God and i so much want to be that inspiration and motivation my cousin needs to stay on the right path. He obviously showed liking for me and i fear that maybe being older than him made him become unsure. I now am falling back to my old ways of never wanting to marry. My deen is weak and i lost faith in dua. Please make dua for me. I still care for him so much and really want him to see that I am a cousin he can trust. Age differences should not matter..... what can i do?

Ami 6 months ago

Dear fathima

Keep yourself prepared for both the outcomes,Constantly pray to Allah to give u best of both the worlds.If he marries u he was destined to be yours.If he doesn't think that Allah has saved you from a bigger pain and trouble which might have arisen due to this marriage eg

1) He could be too much inclined towards his family and ignore u

2) He could turn out to be Flirty

3) Your parents becoming unhappy and this affecting you.etc etc ...

Trust Allah and try to be content in what he has given u

Most of the times we do not know what is Good or Bad for us.Seek nearness to Allah through your prayers,let ur focus be on the day of meeting your lord,This worldly life is just a temporary phase ,it will pass away.Let not u be empty of good deeds and ashamed to meet your lord on the day of recompense.

Allah says in the QURAN

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.2:286 Quran

Fatima 17 6 months ago

Ami,

Thanks Amy for guiding me, still I request you to pray for me, as my situation is such that i cannot even think of living with any other man, i can never marry any one except him. My heart can not accept any other man in my life. I feel restless, i will not be able to bear . Please dua for me and provide me any dua or wazeefa that can help me.

Fatima 17 6 months ago

Ami,

Thanks Amy for guiding me, still I request you to pray for me, as my situation is such that i cannot even think of living with any other man, i can never marry any one except him. My heart can not accept any other man in my life. I feel restless, i will not be able to bear . Please dua for me and provide me any dua or wazeefa that can help me.

maria84 6 months ago

it hurts a lot seeing all of u in so much pain, may allah help u all inshalla and me as well.

Last year during this time, I was in mekka for hajj. I hoped that next year my problem would be gone but they are not :( but im thankful that my problems are not bigger than they already are, but it still hurts. May allah guide us all to the straight path and solve our and the rest of the muslims problems. Inshalla!!

fatima17 6 months ago

Please help me, anyone please suggest dua for me, all the sister's here i request you all i need dua from you all. please provide me dua or wazeefa.

Berlinerin 6 months ago

Sellam

What happens when the husband is a Imam, but he doesn't show any type of love to his wife (me) I got married to him within only a month of knowing him because I thought okay he is a Imam and I will marry him in the name of Allah, everything was ok at the beginning but he doesn't treat me the way a Muslim man should treat his wife, what happens when he curses constantly, doesn't do anything around the house absolutely nothing, just sits around and plays games on the computer. I know Allah hates divorces but they are allowed...but that is the last thing that I wanna do..But I am so tired of crying everyday the other day when I was praying I just started crying because I'm thinking to myself why am I going through all this, I want to concentrate on Allah when I pray but sometimes feelings and thoughts are stronger that a person can't control...I try to be a good wife I do everything around the house and he doesn't even ask if I need help of course I will refuse the help in a nice way but I just want to see that he cares about anything I do..He never asks How my day was at work, I come in the car and he starts yelling like did you call him and him for something (diff story)..I don't know maybe I will divorce him, but I am afraid of Allah and jehennem...I don't want satan to think that he won, but I really can't keep crying every day I'm having pains especially breathing and everything else I feel like I will lose my nerves with him and I don't want to...I don't know what to do...

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Berlinerin

w.salam

A man, who suppose to set example for others to follow, is behaving in such a manner that its causing u so much pain, is not even a good human being, let alone being a good muslim.He should practice what he preaches.

I heard our Prophet(PBUH)helped his wife with cooking after he returned from a war. But I think when a person is happy they have so much energy that they can manage household chores after returning from work. However, when u r unhappy even if u stay at home all day u still feel little little things are a burden.

Ur problem is ur husband. I would say try to involve ur family and may even talk with the mosque committee (someone higher in the rank where he is the imam) n see if anyone can inject some humanity into him. If it fails, then take a decision that is good for u. My general observation is that men who study in Madrasas usually have very little consideration for others. They are often very selfish and narrow minded. They think they have acheived soemthing big n they are better than anyone else, but little do they know that in order to be a good muslim one has to be a good human being. Hypocrisy is a big sin. Whatever u do plz dont destroy urself like this. May Allah help u.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Saani

Sorry to hear that u didnt have a good childhood. I read ur post and it seems that depression has become ur big problem. U need to find a way of saying good bye to depression for ever, as otherwise u will seek happiness in a place where u will only get disppointment n it will trigger more depression. If u read my previous posts I mentioned some books and Brahma Kumaris, which u may find helpful.

As for ur feelings for ur cousin, I think u r wasting ur time. While focusing on him u r not doing anything to cure ur depression and nor are u looking for a healthy relationship. This guy probably just wated his gifts, which u rightly thought. Love is a two way thing sweetie n I am sure u will find ur true love someday. At the moment depression is standing between u and ur happiness. Plz listen to the links i posted earlier and bring depression under ur control. This boy is not an answer to ur inner conflicts, its a diversion created by ur mind. Plz dont waste any more time on him.

Although I dont know enough about ur childhood i think there is still some issues u got there deeply hidden in ur heart. If possible let go these issues gently and with love. Considering the nature and age of ur problem I would strongly suggest u contact Brahma kumaris n attend their courses and regain ur inner power and in turn happiness which u r entitled to.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Maria

Sorry for the late reply. I think its the right decision not return to ur husband.

Well u already know how impossible its to live with someone who lies in order to hide their faults. People like that never change, unless of course some miracles happen to their hearts and minds that make them accept responsibility for their mistakes.

Saani 6 months ago

Emma. Really appreciate it. Your advice is a positive one. Sadly, because I found my time with him so special and because I felt so safe with him...i cannot forget him entirely. My cousin fell into my life when I was already falling down and desiring death. I didn't like being around males at all (I was like that for many years) but with him I felt so safe. I truly believed God had brought my cousin to me.

It reaaly hurt when you said I should forget him..there are times i wish i could just so i could escape this depression. But without him I have nothing left to hope for in my life. Also whats the point in dua? In Islam it says not to give up on dua and that one has to be patient. I also learned that if you give up on your dua it could be that God was just about to answer it. If my cousin means so much to me...then shouldnt i keep making dua to God? Shouldnt i learn to be more patient? Isn't it possible for me to overcome my depression but still make dua that my cousin and me can come together one day?

I will try and look up the references you mentioned. I do want to overcome my depression completely. I have improved in some ways. Im back at work and im trying to busy myself and socialise with others. :))

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Saani

I completely understand u dont want to forget him, may be then just think this way ur cousin has changed ur perception of men. Now that u know ur cousin made u feel safe n u enjoyed his company, it means there are nice men out there.

I am glad to hear that u got a job and feeling better. Think this way sis u r in your 30s and when u settle down u probably wish to have children, which is natural n most beautiful thing to want to have. How much longer can u wait for ur cousin to come back to u the way u want him? U already have suffered sorrow, may Allah safe guard ur future happiness!

Once I fell in love with a boy, who used to make me laugh, sing for me, would surprise me n whenever I did something important he would be there. We both wanted each other but there were problems. So I prayed and prayed night and days but nothing happened. I eventually realised that we were not meant to be together, not made for each other.

I hope u find answer to ur prayers and plz take care of urself.

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Dear Maria,

salaam and sorry for the late reply. I feel like all I did this weekend was just work and became so unattached from things I like to daily like coming hre.

I do feel kindda down today too so I totally understnad how u feel... its like that with me too.

I agree with u, without namaaz and praying and asking Allah taalah for help theres not anything else to look forward too and thats reality. We all get upset and I guess we have to be mature enuf to handle it. :(

Yes, I do think ur mind is confused and I didnt read any of the messages Emma wrote but I just glanced em and it seems like she is advising u the right thing.

As far as the other thing is concerned, u have to read it until u see sumthing in ur dream.

I hope sumthing happens for u soon too, and all of us well im tired of being alone :( tc ttyl btw, did they reply back to u from istikhaara.com?

maqbool usmani 6 months ago

YA ALLAH HMRE MULK PAKISTAN KE TO HIFAZAT FARMA AUR HAMEN HAR GAIR ISLAMI KAMON SE DOOR FARMA YA ALLAH TO HMRA MOLA HA TERE SIWA KOI HMRA MABOOD NH YA ALLAH HM PE REHAM WA KARAM FARAMA

AAMEEEEEEEEEEEN

syeda 6 months ago

Salaams noorukh sis,

Sorry sis been off from technology for a while n 4 the late reply as well.

No issues at all sis. Yeh i'm actually feeling better now Elhamdullilah . A fren of mine had some get together thing all i did was roam for six days and find the perfect anarkali to wear on that day lol dis sounds funny but am so jobless haha.But that made me relaxed .

I passed out in hr and i'm actually seeking a job so that some how it keeps my mind occupied but pertaining to the present condtions of my dad's health i better take a break for a while which i'm on it already actually. Yup for some couple of hours a week i hang out with a friend 4 a coffee or something thats refreshing for a change.

Depression is like sometimes sucks u up. i get migraines like u do sis. Hope u feeling better . I hope ur depression gets cured for forever and ur happy Always INSHAAALLAH .

Yes, sis for time being we occupy our minds with different things but that things get back to you it'll go away soon INSHAALLAH. We should go slow with it i guess .

Marriage n stuff can wait i guess unless n until i dun feel interested and i won't be ready to get into something and yeh the age factor but thats how it is. Allah will surely cure this i hope cuz i get pressureized sometimes INSHAALLAH.

I want to try the brahmakumari stuff i will check the links.Hope all is well at your corner sis.May Allah bless u, ease and remove your worries.Allah hafiz.

Batool 6 months ago

MY ALMIGHT ALLAH HELP ALL MY MUSLIM BROTHER & SISTERS.AMEEN

PLZ REMEMBER ME IN YOUR DUA'S

Emma 6 months ago

Dear sister Batool

Just read ur previous post n since u did not say much I am guessing nothing much has changed. No worries, patience is a virtue, u can only do ur best.

Why dont u try Brahma kumaris? They show programmes on tv, Star plus and Asta tv. See if u like. I might come to India for meditation(Rajyoga)retreat when they allow me to come. I hear its very difficult to get a place at the retreat centres, though they have few centres in india alone.

Anyways I do pray for u n ur mother and the world. May Allah grant us all happiness, peace and the ability to keep our faith and our inner stability. Take care

Aisha 6 months ago

I like reading this story whenever I'm down. We should always remember that Allah is the best planner. Even though sometimes we don't get what we wanted, but God always have somethig better for us.

I graduated from uni last year and have no job. I'm so fed up with people always asking me the same thing over and over again "have u got a job". I'm depressed. Each morning I wake up thinking 'what does my future looks like. what's in there for me?' I'm pretty anxious, each night I cry BUT keep faith in Allah. I haven't given up praying because I beleive this is the only way out of this problem.

Sometimes I feel so restless and I'm impatient. If you have any duahs to suggest, you are the most welcome. Thanks!

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Dear Emma,

Sorry for the late reply. I have been overworked this whole weekend and Im drained. Its not east thats for sure. :(

U seem like uve experienced similar things to me and have broken it down pretty well. I guess I always needed sumone that cared and my ex was never really that. Yes, I admit he is a player and I do feel that there was an emptiness that i was trying to cover and fill, but that was obviously.

I did get sum info bak frm BR and unfortunately the timings arent working out with my work schedule and I should be figuring sumthing out wen im done this holiday season.

How are you doing otherwise? Its good to see ur doing a lot better, very happy to hear that! :)

I felt so disengaged from my normal life these past couple of days and that really bothers me cuz I look forward to doing things that make me happy and keep me occupied besides work... retails pretty draining.

thanks so much for ur advice, i really appreciate and give u props for all that u do... u r truly a great person! :)

until next time... tc :)

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Salaam Syeda,

That is okay, Ive been away from this blog too for a couple days cuz of work... been tired and all from it.

Im glad ur doing better alhamdulillah, yea doing things for urself will not only make u happy but itll make u feel better and keep ur mind occupied which is good. That sounds like a nice outfit to wear, I actually wanted to try wearing one of those myself.

Depression does make u feel horrible. Idk this weekend I did feel a little down. I guess cuz my ex ws telliung me that he was leaving overseas forever but oh well... this is a part of life it sux but its true...

Itll take u sum time, and I hpe that istikhaara thing is helping u out inshAllah.ur a nice grl too and have a good heart, dnt hurt urself u should learn to love urself and then others will :)

I see a lot happening around me, but then I think y shud we care abt others that dnt care abt us rite? Thats good u care abt ur dads health, and work comes second. Just keep him happy and inshAllah things will get better for u too!

yes, plz look into that BK stuff. Sister Emma told me abt it and it seems like a real real good thing, iA it shud help all of us.

Tc and be happy! :)

Maria84 6 months ago

Salam sis Noor!

No they havnt answer me, I will inshalla email them again and they will probably answer :D I just need help cause I cant make a decision and I dont know what to do. I dont know what I want.

How are u? U dont come to this website that much?

I hope u are doing good and getting better. Try to be strong and think of positive things u have in ur life. I know, its really hard being alone and seeing ur friends happily married or engaged but if u really think, we are never alone. We have allah with us and even tough our prayers dont always get answered, but we still have hope and think allah will help us somehow. So we are not alone. And besides, u told me, u had ur mother...try to come up things with her or ur friends. Inshalla things will be better by the time, I hope. For all of us.

Plz let me know how u are doing and try to keep u happy and pray and read quran so u feel better inshalla

maria84 6 months ago

I sent an emai to this : info@saylaniwelfare.com

ffatima 6 months ago

no one is suggesting any dua or wazeefa. please help me..

maria84 6 months ago

salam fatima

read surah yasin... it helps a lot

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Fatima

A man older that, u have been in love with u for 8 years and now saying he cannot marry u bcos u r sunni and he is shai. Well u have always been sunni, didnt know about it b4?

Ami has given u sound advice. I guess what people say about love being blind is true, thats why we often dont want to use reasoning. Well there are some problems dua can solve and for others we just need to get ourselves back on the right path with dignity and with our heads held high. Sometimes in life in order to get something or some one u just have to let them first. I would strongly advise u not to see or talk to the guy for about three months and tell him why. Work on urself, stabilise ur mind during this time. If he doesnt comeback with a proposal within that time then u will know what to do next. Allah might have already decided to whom u r going to get married.

Good luck

Aisha 6 months ago

Heyy there, any duahs to get a goood job?? Please. Thanks.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Noorkh

U r a bright girl and u deserve better, which u will get once u have access to ur inner peace. I still have emptiness which I am trying to feel with spiritual energy, love of Allah. I have come to believe that we human beings experience this emptiness bcos we r not in tune with our Creater, and its He Who is helping us to turn to Him. Once we learn who we are and Who is Allah, we will never experience emptiness again.

I have through a sea of sorrow sister. If I have never been in the water myself how could I tell u about swimming! lol. I often asked Allah what am I to do with this wealth of experience? A part from trying to help everyone I know, I found this site so trying to help others who are also in pain. I am writing a short story with the hope that it will inspire people who are in pain and have lost hopes. But I pray to Allah to have mercy on me and on all of u and not to give me anymore tests,I am an ordinary being and am very tired.

I undertsnad u r very busy with work, but plz give priority to ur health. Once u r really cured, for which u need to make the effort, u will not get tired easily and will be very efficient in whatever u do. This life is a journey, make it a spiritual one and our here and hereafter will be taken care of at the same time.

Thanks for ur kind words and plz take care of urself.

Emma 6 months ago

www.bkwsu.org/uk/newsletter

Plz read the newsletters, wealth of wisdom

Emma 6 months ago

@ Fatima

Meant to say older than u who has been in love with u for 8 years. Making too many mistakes, sorry about that.

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Dear Maria,

Salaam! Looks like they really are overloaded with a whole lotta emails this time around... just be patient and Im very sure they will answer u.

Ive been away cuz of work... I dnt like to be too involved in work cuz I get away from my normal routine things that I like to do and give sum time too like coming here. I need to catch up a lot on reading sum posts and wanna reply but this job makes me really tired :( i guess its the standing and all in retail... Yes, its hard to see but im very glad u brought up this point becuz we forget that we always have ALLAH with us and that is the biggest thing of all!

Ur a very caring girl to bring this up and keep us on the right path. May Allah reward u Ameen. I have my mom and nice friends like u guys which is truly a blessing cuz u know wut ppl dnt understand each others emotions that much these days and are so consumed in their own lives. I am happy and blessed alhamdulillah to be with my family and dnt know wut id do with out them.

hows ur school thing going? or that job ur looking for?

I will inshAllah be bak on track with namaaz and qur'an. tc and I hope ur keeping better too! :)

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@Maria: for the istikhaara question thing this is the steps in order to receive a response:

1) http://istikhaara.com/

2) if ur registered then log in with ur email and password that u used wen u first made a login.

3)top left corner: click istikhaara questions,and type ur question and fill out as required.

4) send this and inshAllah it shud work.

I think u were sending to the wrong place which is y they didnt reply yet. Hope this helps! :)

fatima 17 6 months ago

Salaam everyone,

Thankyou Emma, Maria and Ami.

Ami 6 months ago

dear fathima,

Here is a small advise which may be helpful to you, procrastination,i.e postponing,postpone everything related to him,if u have to call him now do it after a few hours ,just engage yourself in something else ,speak to somebody else .If u had to meet him today postpone it for a few days later or visit a friend or do something else.You first have to come out of this obsession to take a proper decision.Just think who knows u more the one who created u or this person,who is closer to your heart and knows all ur needs and in whose hands is destiny .Read Ayatulkursi and contemplate on its meanings.

swarbaedar 6 months ago

Hi

I am from Myanmar.I am Muslin too.I believe in Alla.But I am too lazy for namaz. From today iwill try.Alla is on my mind all the time. And i give my destiny to Alla a t all.

you remind me what should I do. Thank you. I am on facebook as khaingmar.I want to freind with all muslin woman.Thank you.

maria84 6 months ago

hi sis noor

u know what, i sent them a email yesterday but this time I almost wrote my whole story and then guess what, today i got an email from them..but they have written to me in urdo :S i tought they would answr me in english. I dont speak urdo. Can I send the email to u ? maybe u can see what they have written..sorry for the bother.. if its okay, give me ur email..i will email u. ok thanks

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Salaam sis Maria,

That good! Im so happy for u. :) Yea sure go ahead and send me the email my address is: noorkh786@gmail.com. Ill try to translate as best I can inshAllah.

Take care

Fahmi 6 months ago

@swarbaedar,

assalamu alaikum .It is a great bounty of Allah that u are a muslim and it is a duty of every muslim to establish salath(regular Namaz).To encourage yourself towards this try to learn ,the importance ,benefits of salath.The link below will help you http://www.al-islam.org/fortysalat/

Ami 6 months ago

@swarbaedar

read this to know about salat

http://www.al-islam.org/fortysalat/

remind urself of the benefits of salath to get motivated.

rizana 6 months ago

Alhamdulliah am very happ for you.i am from sri lanka now am in qatar my present life is not happy life.am 7 years married my husband's suspisionand geo as increased more and u knw he puts me down in front of people. in my family we are three girl am the youngest one now am in a place of taking decision to ask divcore from him bcoz it seems to be scared sometimes what he does .after marriage only got to knw that he is effect by some sycologi problems bcoz of his parents way of bringing him up he was the only son . pls make dua for me too.

maria84 6 months ago

Salam sis Noor

I sent the email now to u.

Thanks a lot for ur kidness that u wanna translate to me.

May allah bless u in this donya and in akhirat.

Wish u all happiness in the world and to the rest of the sisterz&brothers inshalla=)

Noorkh786 6 months ago

walaikum salaam sis maria,

just got ur email and ill send it to u as soon as i can. Its kindda slow now at work so dnt wrry ill try my best to translate in English for u. Thanks for ur kind words! take care sweety I wish u all the happiness in the world and the rest of the bros and sisters inhsAllah :)

farah 6 months ago

salam

plzzz mujh batayea mujahy ek dafa kisi nay taveez dia tha main nay pehna mgr wo asay hi masjid main dalwa dia tha .. taky byadbi na ho... lakin ab lugta hay k wo bandush ka tha ... rishty buht aty hain mgr wapas koi nahi ata palat kar... or 30 proposals main say ek nay ab haan ki to un ka istekhara sahe nahi ayea wo b ek dafa k baad dubara nahi ayen plz help me

samia786 6 months ago

AOA Sister

Thanks for sharing youre story with us. I hope Allah helps you in youre life.

I am also having troubles in my married life, n I don’t knw what to do.

I left my cousin whom I was married to n got divorce from him. I did bad things while living here in NY as I am born here. I used to party, drink, n had frnds. N did huge mistakes’ I was not listening to parents n did everything against them. I knew I was doing bad but I couldn’t stop myself. Then one day i got to know that my male friend’s n female friends were just using me n they didn’t wanted good. So I stopped being with them, n started being more home, I tried to read namaz n helping mom in the kitchen beside my studies.

After few months I met one Pakistani guy lived in Germany, he came there for work visa. We started generating feelings for eachother as we talked. He told me about his bad relationship with a Pakistani girl who didn’t work out, n I told him about my marriage to my cousin, n leaving out the part that we had an intimate relationship one time. N I left the part about my bad past about frnds n parties too:S

Meanwhile preparing for our wedding, as shakki insaan he was,.. he got to know abt my bad past n the intimate part too. We had a huge fight, but after few days we agreed to go for this. He had conditions, so i agreed on that. After our wedding I moved to him knowing the fact he didnt have anything there I sacrificed my job, my house car, my studies, my career everything in NY.

He did shakk all the time, n during our small arguments; he gave me thane, used bad words such as Whore, harami, and used extreme bad words one knows in Punjabi. He hit me, though I used self-defense back. He blackmailed me n threatened me all the time that he will tell the whole world about me n I will die in shame as well as my family. He showed me love sometimes, but most of it was bad, I cried all the time. Then one day he told me he that…. he pretended to be a girl n talked to my frnds n my ex-husband before marriage to find out everything in detail. If I didn’t do all wht he said he will tell the whole world about me.

Though he was nice at the beginning but I was scared so I didn’t say anything. He was so busy with his job n earning money that he didn’t care about me at all. We wnt for umrah too, but still he was not good towards me, his anger, thane n shakk was even worse now after umrah:/….

It led to fam involvement from both sides, and offcource his family supported him n said that he didn’t do anything bad, he sacrificed after knowing all that about me. I know he did, but he can’t use this as an excuse all the time. He even insulted me infront of his friends, n family memebers.

I went back home for a while, thn he started with his blackmailing n shakk n thane ….my fam didn’t wanted me to go back, but I did….again I said sorry n tried to make things, but he wanted money guarantee for some reason, so I gave him about 17000$, then after giving him he showed me arrogance, n attiude as I begged him to make this marriage to work….but he gave me thane, n did shakk again. Then he booked my ticket back home n sent me home, as I said I will not leave before I get my money so he fought with me n then gave me money. I left, for home…n cried night n days for him, I prayed to Allah, n read namaz regulary. Now my parents r against this marriage as he still threatned my parents n my fam aswell as me. If I leave him he will tell the whole world n if I am with him I have to do all what he says….On the other hand he is nice to me to get me back, n bad with me too….i can’t see changings in him ….what should I do…. go back to him or leave him? Please advise me, n show me the right path sisters, I am confused, I don’t want to hurt my parents or chose wrong path?

I love him, but I am scared for a future with him as he is too jalousie person n played games with me. He also lied about his problems in his body….inlammation, kidney problems, tummy problems…all tht I got to know after marriage….:((

And his family doesn’t care about me anymore:S I always had really nice thoughts about his family n loved them. But I am scared? I know I did wrong in my past, but what shud I do now?

Plese help me?((

maria84 6 months ago

Salam Samia786

Im glad that u have left everything bad behind u and u are trying to be a good muslim, i would suggest to continue with ur namaz and pray to allah to help u. Since he got to know about ur past and accepted it, he should try to focus of other things and stop bring up things from the past. But thats life. Im so tired of it. It seems that everyone is having problem, especially marriage problem. Its too bad but hopefully may allah help us all. Try different dua and if u have heard about estikhara, try that too cause allah will show u what u should do in ur dream. I should also test that but I havnt had the courage to do it, im so scared of what if Allah make me see something else in my dream. But I know many people, they do it and they get help by seeing something in their dream. Read also quran and try not to miss ur prayers an ask allah forgivness and help, and be thankful for these things he has given u that u are happy with. I try always to pray and say different dua's even if my problems not are solved since 3 years, I feel a bit better cause after reading my namaz and dua, I get hope and Im longing for the day I can be happy again. Please sister, mention all of us too in ur prayers. U seem to be a good person, a strong person who left the bad things behind u, its not that easy but Im glad u made it and I hope allah inshalla solve ur problem and make ur husband realise that its not helpin to think about the past and remind u all the time and say bad words. I hope he stops that. Its so hard not knowing what to do, Should we sacriface and try to continue or should we just let it go and move on? I have the same problem and I dont know what to do. I wanna ask someone make istikhara for me but I dont know whom to ask. A sister here, Noor, she gave me a pakistani website where I wrote my problem and they will inshalla help me. I just sent them earlier today so I dont know what they are gonna answer, but inshalla maybe their answer will help me to make a choice.

samia786 6 months ago

Salaam maria84

Thanx for youre advice sister. We did isthara before marriage, but i went against it n merry him. The isthakra was bad:(, thn now i asked someone if he is good to me or will he be good to me in future, they told me no, he is not a good person with you. He will treat you badly, and keep you under his tump all the time. And will remind you about youre old past. They also mentioned that he will use you n throw u away:(

sister i am soo worried, on the other hand my parents wants me to come back and leave him, but i still got feelings for him, as he recently said take with you youre money and give it to me, so that i know you will not leave me:( i am too scared, i dont want to go against my parents, i love them, i betrayed them once and dont want to go against them again, i want their blessings:( i hurt them n ruined my life. He still got his arrogance and bad attitude....Ya Allah please help me:(

Sister please do pray for me too. I so wants to go back to makkah again, i feel lost here:(

Keep remb me in youre prayers sister.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Samia

Maria has gievn u good advice. In addtion to this I would say u might have to confront ur husband at some point in ur own time, over ur past and stop apologising to him. From what u have said it seems that ur apologies are not helping, its only adding the fuel to his jealousy and inflating his ego. Thats is neither good for u nor for him. Respect is a key ingridient in any relationship. When a person is trying to make u feel bad about urself and putting u down all the time, u also begun to lose ur self esteen and respect for urself. I would suggest u start working on urself first. I am not sure if u are safe in Pakistan, may be try to go back to US.Tell him that while he is in the US there is no point in u staying in Pakistan.

When u feel safe,stop apologising and when he treats u bad do not react. If u feel like to cry, never cry in front of him. When u r mentally ready, tell him that he married u with full knowledge of ur past. If anything he should help u to stay on the right path, which u have choosen with the help of Allah. However, if he still wants to expose u to the world, tell him to go ahead.Tell him u have nothing to lose, bcos the man who was supposed to protect u and care for u has decided to expose ur past, for which u r already a shamed of, so what is there to lose. While u do this just say to urself"live as if this the last day of ur life on this plannet." This remembrance makes us strong and virtues.

U cannot live a life subject to blackmails etc. U have to be a bit more brave for ur own sake and take the risk. If he expose u, just take it as a way Allah is releasing u from ur sin and free urself from him. However,there is good possibility that this will change for good and put him on the perspective.

As Maria said I also think u r a good person n a powerful one too bcos u changed ur direction. U can change others around u in a good way. Good luck and go back to US as soon as u can.

fatima 17 6 months ago

Salaam,

Thank you Emma, Maria and Ami for going through my problem and reading my post. Yes, he is 5 years elder than me.

The image which he has is very shareef and humble infront of the world and this is what attracted me towards him.

I agree with your suggestion but my heart is not at peace, I feel y cant he understand that its hurting me. He is avoiding my phone calls

Please help me. Please dua for me. Khuda k liye help me. I will not be able to live. I have spent so much time with him now i cannot even

think of someone else. I request you all to please pray for me. Pray for me that we be together always.

Thank you Emma, maria and Ami for being there for me, i need your help, need your dua. May Allah lessen the sadness

and hardship that my sister's and me are going through and bless us with his REHMAT.

fatima 17 6 months ago

Salaam,

Thank you Emma, Maria and Ami for going through my problem and reading my post. Yes, he is 5 years elder than me.

The image which he has is very shareef and humble infront of the world and this is what attracted me towards him.

I agree with your suggestion but my heart is not at peace, I feel y cant he understand that its hurting me. He is avoiding my phone calls

Please help me. Please dua for me. Khuda k liye help me. I will not be able to live. I have spent so much time with him now i cannot even

think of someone else. I request you all to please pray for me. Pray for me that we be together always.

Thank you Emma, maria and Ami for being there for me, i need your help, need your dua. May Allah lessen the sadness

and hardship that my sister's and me are going through and bless us with his REHMAT.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Fatima

I understand that u have invested a few years in this guy and that could be an issue as well as to why u want to marry him.

But a man who wears a mask in front of the world is not a genuinely humble man. He is a fake and unlikely to make anyone happy in private. I know right now u just want him, but really I think its the rejection and the time u wasted on him and the breach of trust thats hurting u more. Try to be angry at him, bcos thats all he desrves.

Plz dont try to contact him as he is not answering ur calls. When u feel pain pray to Allah and read the Quaran, traslation, and engage ur full attention to what Allah has been saying and remember the Day of Judgement.This give u a peace of mind, inshah Allah. Just remember Allah and how much He loves u. Try not think about the past and this man. If he is yours he will come back, if not you have nothing to lose.

samia786 6 months ago

Dear Emma.

thank you for youre advice sister. I am currently in NY/US, and he lives in Germany. I dont want to go back as, he is not changing his behaviour, he is still laughing over me n calling me liar, n than he says he loves me and wants me back:( My parents are scared, and they want me to leave him as istakhara wasn’t good either:( they are telling me that we are to different people, he is more money and status kinda guy and very clever person ….and i am more of a naive and simple....i know i did bad in my past but reminding me of my past will not make me good:( i want to change more into a good muslim, but he is making me weak:( i want to have a simple marriage, he can’t understand that i have changed, i also said i will take care of youre parents too as its not farz on me to do so, but i want to earn more sawab as i think i am a bad person...and only through elder people I can earn more sawab. But he said you have to anyway, there is no question, and if they give u thane it means you are doing bad to them and I will also give you thane ;/

And then I have my parents on the other hand I don’t want to go against my parents again:S I am stuck in a bad bad situation:(

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Samia

I am sure Allah will show you the way. Its good to hear that you like keeping ur life simple, sometimes people are too clever for their own good. The are a liability on others as well as on themselves.

May be give urself a cooling of period and keep the focus on urself,i.e. build up ur self esteem. i also think from now on do not tell another human being that u did bad things in the past, in fact dont even think about it. Just pray to Allah to forgive u and u also learn to forgive urself. It was a lesson for u and u learnt ur lesson, end of.

I think u r a good person.Do not worry sister, just keep the focus on urself n ur life will change for good. Never waste time thinking about the past, its history.

Maria 6 months ago

Dear Samia,

If ur istikhara is bad never ever go to that man he will not change as I m facing problem in my life too I did istikhara and it was bad but I got married after marriage he beat me and I did istikhara but I was not sure but it was not good either . I returned to him after 15 days he again insulted me and now I did istikhara and saw white papers and I have taken a decision not to go. Back to him as he does not know how to treat a wife . If ur istikhara is once wrong it means this person will not change . I am like you my husband is not giving me divorce. And not even giving me my rights and insulted me and said if u wana live with me come back but this time I will not believe him because a liar and one who insult woman can never be change may Allah help us all Ameen and remember me in ur prayers too

samia786 6 months ago

Thank you Sister Emma and Maria for youre advice. Yes i need to focus on myself, beacuse i feel sometimes like a zero person with no value. Its hard but with Allah in my mind and heart i hope inshallah i will be a better muslim.

Maria

Yes the isthakara was bad, and my familiy is right, the person is never going to change. He has been fake all the time with me. while me being in NY, he has been trying to get me back, but his methods wr being bad to me, by giving me "thane", insulting me, n insulting my familiy by using bad words against them and me. Then he changes the very next day and reminds me of how good we had the few moments we shared...

Now hes showing me his real fake face again, whn i said to him that i dont think its going to work out as he never talked to my parents and said sorry to them for what he has said, and insulted them for.

He is the same old person, and showing me more reasons for not going back to him.

I am sorry to hear that you are facing the same problem sister. He is not giving me divorce either, he said

"i will never give you divorce, if you want go and get "khula" and go to a local sharia council here and pay them fees and admit youre papers. Then i will talk, and i will tell them aswell about youre past, so after that they will refuse youre "khula", becaue you are a bad person and you are doing wrong" he said.

And now i am stuck in a bad situation, where i dont know what to do. I dont want to do anything bad. I just hope by leaving him i am not doing anything bad or going against Allah:S

Right now i have more points/reason for leaving that guy, then being with him:( but still insecure:(

Please do keep me in youre duas too sister, May Allah helps us all who are facing problems in life ameen.

And Eid Maubarik to you all sisters.

samia786 6 months ago

Thank you Sister Emma and Maria for youre advice. Yes i need to focus on myself, beacuse i feel sometimes like a zero person with no value. Its hard but with Allah in my mind and heart i hope inshallah i will be a better muslim.

Maria

Yes the isthakara was bad, and my familiy is right, the person is never going to change. He has been fake all the time with me. while me being in NY, he has been trying to get me back, but his methods wr being bad to me, by giving me "thane", insulting me, n insulting my familiy by using bad words against them and me. Then he changes the very next day and reminds me of how good we had the few moments we shared...

Now hes showing me his real fake face again, whn i said to him that i dont think its going to work out as he never talked to my parents and said sorry to them for what he has said, and insulted them for.

He is the same old person, and showing me more reasons for not going back to him.

I am sorry to hear that you are facing the same problem sister. He is not giving me divorce either, he said

"i will never give you divorce, if you want go and get "khula" and go to a local sharia council here and pay them fees and admit youre papers. Then i will talk, and i will tell them aswell about youre past, so after that they will refuse youre "khula", becaue you are a bad person and you are doing wrong" he said.

And now i am stuck in a bad situation, where i dont know what to do. I dont want to do anything bad. I just hope by leaving him i am not doing anything bad or going against Allah:S

Right now i have more points/reason for leaving that guy, then being with him:( but still insecure:(

Please do keep me in youre duas too sister, May Allah helps us all who are facing problems in life ameen.

And Eid Maubarik to you all sisters.

Maria 6 months ago

Dear samia ,

Happy eid to u to. You can easily get Khula if he started telling about your past there thn ur Khula case will be more strong coz they will think he is not normal .take Khula my suggestion he is just giving you dahmkiyan actually he is a week man and trying to be strong by insulting you. My husband has all my gold and other things I have given my salary everything to him when he was in need of that but he always insulted me even beat me and thn said sorry and thn again started doing bad with me I can not trust him any more everyone said leave him just imagine it's painful right after 9 months of marriage we are leaving separate and you can not imagine the pain I am facing but I pray to Allah verily after every hard ship there is peace ur and my husband are actually not normal they have some pysco problem that's y they are not leaving us and they know that we are not bad .he insulted my family my friends everyone how tried to solve issue I have registered a case in police as he beat me after that if he will not leave me I will go court . It's very painful but I cannot spend my whole life with liar and how always think he is rite offcourse I do have some good memories with him but if a person can not think about other happiness is not normal your husband is exactly the same like mine pray 4 me too.

samia786 6 months ago

Dear Maria

Sister you are right. He asked me about money the second time i came to him, but afterwards i found out that he needed money for his business not for a guarentee to keep me. But when he decied to send me back home to NY i asked him to give me my money back or else i wudnt leave and threat him with reporting it to the police. So he gave me and i left.

Allah jane wht is in their minds? Its really painful for me too, as we married in july and lived together for almost 1 and a half month togehter before he decided to threat me badly, thn i left his home because no one of my fam member wr thr and i nedeed somoene mine to be thr. In so short time he wanted to change eveything about me, and he complaint all the time too.

I also cud report him to the police as he tried to "act" like someone else and tried to contact my old friends and family to get more "secrets" so he could tell the whole world. He is a psyco, and a really good manipulator. Now he wants me back again and trying to talk softly. I was dumb that i came into his talk, but now i am really aware.

Its a really bad pain as i married that guy because i loved him, and that is the reason everything is really difficult for me right now:S as right after marriage we wnt for umrah too:( and during our umrah he asked me to swear on allahs name about my past issues infront of makkah pak:(( i begged him to leave me here, cuz i was thr to pray and get peace, but not even in Makkah i got peace from my husband;((

I can only pray for him to change into a good person wether he is with me or not. May Allah help you too sister. Ill pray for you too.

Farah F 6 months ago

Salam,

I am pretty confused with my situation. I have been with this person for d last 5 years..We had a long distance relationship for the first 3 years. He is an amazing person and we are perfect for each other. In the last 5 years there is nothing that ever went wrong between us. But his parents are not agreeing for our marriage as my parents are divorced and not rich enough. He is supportive and expects me to wait. I am already 23 and my parents want me to get married. He just expects me to wait till they agree...Which is not a possibility. I am tired of the extension. Now he wants to get married to me and keep it a secret till his parents agree for our marriage. I am not sure if they ever will. My faith in prayers is kind of decreasing. I have spent the last 5 years just praying that I get him and that his parents agree. But looks like me prayer is never gonna get answered. There is not one thing that I dislike about him. He got me to praying regularly, I have started doing hijab, and he teaches me about Islam. He has made me a better person. But I am so frustrated that his parents just will never agree. He means the world to me.

I dont know if I should just move on, or maybe just wait for his parents to agree. Please pray for me as Allah is not answering my prayers.

maria84 6 months ago

Salam sis Emma

I have probably asked u this before, but im gonna ask u again. Do u know if I can ask another person to do istkhara for me? Im still not sure and I cant make decision. I hate it. Im in same situation like I was for 3 years ago, 3 years ago, I didnt want to engage with him..but at the same time I wanted..i couldnt make my decision..but since we had other family problems, I made my decision to engage...now 3 years later,,,I dont know..Should I marryhim or not? plz hlelp me

Maria 6 months ago

Salam dear samia,

He is just using you and that's it he does not love you my husband also told me the good moment we spend together and all that just to manipulate . But now never come to his buttering he won't change and he want you to think like him and that is not possible actually your husband is totally the same like mine I did nothing bad in my past but I was frank with my elder brother in law and he said why were u v frank with him actually there mentality is low and they can not be change don't even think that he will change take care

May Allah ease our problems .

Emma 6 months ago

Eid Mubarak to all sweet sisters and brothers. MAy Allah grant us all unlimited happiness and peace.

Dear sister Maria84

I think its possible to ask another person do istikhara for u. Dont be scared to connect with Allah in anyway. Any indication you get from Him will be the best for you and plz act upon it.

To cure ur confusion here is a suggestion. From now on everyday tell urself a few times, "I am no longer confused. I know exactly what I am going to do with my life and its entirely my own decision. I am not forced into anything by anyone." Try to break the pattern of ur thoughts by saying and believeing in these words.Free urself from ur self imposed barrier.

Try for at least 2 week and then see if u feel any change in ur own thought process. Good luck

grv11 6 months ago

Eid Mubarak to all

@noorkh786

salaam,

sorry for replying so late. i'm very much having a similar situation as urs. Just when i was coming to terms with things, It was shocking to see a notice from my wife, complaining against me in police station. They have called me up. Only Allah knows, i have not done any thing that a person with whom i loved so much could do this to me.its now upto ALLAH ji to protect the innocent. Unable to take this my health has suffered. I was down with acute pain, i went to the doctor,tests revealed kidney stone. It seems i will die soon. i'm praying allah to take me, i dont want to be punished for something that i have not commited. One thing i'm thankful to God that i got to know the real side of my wife. How difference of intention between two of us. while i wanted to bring her back she wants to back stab me for money (a close relative has said she is doing all this for compensation).

You were so right in assessing her that u said its all one sided.

You are very right that depression is taking us away from Allah.But wish HIM to give strength to overcome all this.

thanks a lot for you best wishes. lets hope for the best.

Noorkh786 6 months ago via iphone

@grv811,

It's okay I understand. It can be very very hard wen ur in a situation like this. I was wondering if u were okay. I'm so sorry to hear this, but Allah is bringing the truth out in front of u sweetheart. Dnt let sumone make u feel like this. I understand how hard it is wen u invest so much time & emotion, but we can't deny reality either. I was wondering if u got sik or u just became very depressed & my thoughts were rite. This has all happened since uve taken it so hard on urself that it's started to affect ur health with the kidney stone. I hope u get better iA I've been thru a lot these past couple weeks too, and still am but the only difference is that keeping myself busy is helping to an extent. Plz dnt let sumone affect u to this point that ur asking god to take u bak, god forbid. No one is worth dying for especially those that have hurt u & are making u feel the way u do. Love should be responded back with love, and it's not a one way street. I'm glad that Allah has opened ur eyes to make u realize that it was one-sided & ur wife is trying to make an excuse to be compensated & for u

To hate her. Sum ppl in this world show many colors, we just have to be able to recognize their true colors wen Allah shows them to us. Wutever is in a persons heart, we dunno, and it's do easy for ppl to play with our emotions.... It's happened to me too :(

Just pray to Allah to do wuts best for u & gve ur heart peace my friend. Ur a nice person & a nice loving person deserves that too. Of u ever need to talk and dnt feel like writing here, plz feel free to send me an email: Noorkh786@gmail.com & we can talk there if U hve sumthing on ur mind. May Allah give u peace of mind & fill ur life bak with happiness very very soon AMEEN take care of urself.

Noor :)

maria84 6 months ago

Salam Emma!

Thanks a lot.

I will inshalla do that.

Ok cause Im thinking to ask any of my friend to do istikhara for me.

May allah reward u for helpin us:D thanks

Najia Nana 6 months ago

hi i really need some help i pray but i cant read quran but im listing to it , sometimes when i read some duas i have some difculties hope u can help me thx

grv11 6 months ago

@noorkh786

thanks a lot for ur kind reply. Thanks for ur kind words. May God shower u with all love n prosperity. U have been so very kind in believing me (as u have gone through similar Pain). Especially since sunday i'm in acute pain from kidney stone. I found ur reply was very happy that in real tough time i have a friend who wishes best for me. i'll definately mail u, thanks for ur kind support, friend, thanks a lot.

maria84 6 months ago

Salam noor and emma

May allah bless u with happiness

Ive searching it now and I think im gonna do it myself, but i have earlier have nightmare about my relationship and Im so afraid, if I do istikhara and I might have bad dreams again, but yesterday I searched in google and i will try to do it.

Thanks. On thursday i'll do it cause friday is a good day....i have not been doing earlier, i have just had very bad nightmares a couple of times.

Anyway i hope u all doing fine and i hope u had a wonderful eid with ur family members.

My poor mum, she cant read, I mean she cant read quran and so on. I wished she could, she would pray for me more. But im glad she told us to learn it. She forced us to school and so on, so we could learn quran.

thanks

Salman Zafar 6 months ago

Very Inspirational Story of Failure & Success and Allah's help in all the matter.

Stay Blessed.

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Salaam Maria,

Thanks sis, may Allah bless u with happiness as well and ur family!

Ur having nightmares cuz ur constantly thinking abt wuts gna happen and I can understand cuz u have things on ur mind.

InshAllah ull be able to do this fine, and I hope u get a response from the other place as well :)

Ur mom had a good intention and may Allah reward her for that, she can always learn how to read the quran cuz its never too late and english translation is available too. :)

tc and plz let me know how ur doing sweeety.

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@grv 811:

No problem, Im happy to listen or suggest in any way I may be able too. I appreciate ur blessings/well wishes and I hope that happens soon with all of us here. Knowing how much we all may have had to go thru, its been tough. Its easier to relate wen uve gone thru it, and since I have I cud totally understand were ur coming from. Try to keep urself busy and think abt how u can overcome this problem u have now with the kidney stone, cuz u keep worrying abt the past. I know itll take sum time but if u keep worrying ull make urself worst God forbid and ur health is ur wealth... u already know this im sure.

Im happy wen I make sumone happy especially a friend :)

take care

Judith 6 months ago

I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great spell caster Dr. Brain Worker and i contacted him through his website which is (udaspelltemple.tk) and immediately everything turn around and Paul come to me in the next three days on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a reaction in my life. I am so thankful to this man

grv11 6 months ago

thanks so much, i am trying my best to cope up with current situation. It was nice to hav all ur suggestions i will try my best to overcome this. thanks may God bless u.

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@grv811: U are very welcome my friend! Ur not alone so dnt feel so bad, time never stays the same. May God bless u too!

maria84 6 months ago

Salaam sis Noor!

I will do it tonight inshAllah!!

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@Maria:

walaikum salaam! Thats great, hope things work out easily and u get an answer real sooon inshallah! fridays a good day :)

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@Maria:

walaikum salaam! Thats great, hope things work out easily and u get an answer real sooon inshallah! fridays a good day :)

samia786 6 months ago

Salaam Maria

Sister you are right about him. They are so similar.

Its sooo hard for me to leave him aswell, i want to if i see the overall, what he has been doing towards me and my familiy. But i still got feelings for him:(

May Allah helps us all. Its too hard, but i think i just have to make a choice:(

Hope all is well at youre end?

W.salaam

fatima 17 6 months ago

Salaamalykum,

He is not talking to me , his mobile phone is switched off, please suggest me dua so that he is again with me. Please help me i cant stop thinking about him. I have feeling for him.

Can I recite 1100 times la ilaha illah anta subhanaka inni kunto minaz zalemeen. I have heard that this should not be read in excess as it has jalali effect. Can i read this for my case. Please help me and dua for me, i m restless.

fatima 17 6 months ago

Salaamalykum,

He is not talking to me , his mobile phone is switched off, please suggest me dua so that he is again with me. Please help me i cant stop thinking about him. I have feeling for him.

Can I recite 1100 times la ilaha illah anta subhanaka inni kunto minaz zalemeen. I have heard that this should not be read in excess as it has jalali effect. Can i read this for my case. Please help me and dua for me, i m restless.

maria84 6 months ago

http://www.duas.org/nallah.htm

Allaaahs name

biahoz 6 months ago

salamalaikum everyone.......

i spent the last 2 hours reading this hub......from the begining from between....whereever i could.......

n now i feel like narrating my story to everyone.........firstly i wanna pray for evryone "may allah grant all muslims facing hardships n adversity with his heart-pleasing and soul-melting rewards in his most quick way"......

i am just 21 male soon going to turn 22 in 2 months anyways......the bottom line is that i am also suffering from the same tragic moments every second i breath whether awake or sleep from the past 1 1/2 years.....i dont sleep, i hide the story from the whole world no1 knows my situation except her and allah....i keep prayin evry second....i read the translations of half of the quran in the past months.....gained a lot of confidence.....but still cry atleast 1nce every day and 1nce every ni8.....i know god will lead me to success because b4 evrythng started i.e 1 1/2 years back i cried and prayed to god very emotionally saying ki "agar isme kamiyaabi hai tab hi tuu mujhe isme ghusa aur aage bada magr agar isme kahi na kahin pahunch kar (khuda na kare) i am gonna lose her then mujhe isme ghusa hi mat yahi end karde kuch na kuch karke...."

i have always loved her from the first day i talked to her ....and will always do till the end of me.... in the begining i felt lyk i am gonna die 1 day jst b4 i reach d end. but later i began to trust god.... i jst cant live widout her. n i cant chnge my feelings would nevr get those 4 any 1 else . ............plz plz plzplz pray for me brothers and sisters

may be u people will 4get so for u all peopl to remember me i want u all to look at my pic once then u people will remember me......"iaznama ahat"......type this whole name in facebook from the end(T) to the begining(I)(its just to avoid this post in the search engines ;-)..lolzz....]

i really want to reach d end soon. just pray 4 me. maybe its ur prayers that could help me......

syeda 6 months ago

Salaams noorukh sis,

Sorry am too late right.don't mind. How are you and hows things with you?. I'm good Elhamdullilah and things are ok as of now Mashaallah.

Yes sis, anarkali is a nice outfit with the right motifs even u can try one sis mayb u'll like it...u mustbe having loads of shoes in ur wandrobe lol.

Certain things like moving on are a part of life and when its regarding a deep bond it does hurt a lot hope all gets better for you sis Inshaallah.

I'm learning little things where i can appreciate myself and things can be normal again...journey with myself then the rest will follow right said sis.

Allah hafiz .

syeda 6 months ago

Salaams noorukh sis,

Sorry am too late right.don't mind. How are you and hows things with you?. I'm good Elhamdullilah and things are ok as of now Mashaallah.

Yes sis, anarkali is a nice outfit with the right motifs even u can try one sis mayb u'll like it...u mustbe having loads of shoes in ur wandrobe lol.

Certain things like moving on are a part of life and when its regarding a deep bond it does hurt a lot hope all gets better for you sis Inshaallah.

I'm learning little things where i can appreciate myself and things can be normal again...journey with myself then the rest will follow right said sis.

Allah hafiz .

Rabia 6 months ago

Algamdoelillah...Allahu-Akbar..I am going through a divorce too. I know Allah is Gafoor and I trust that this is the best for me. I have received so many amazing messages through this painful time that gives me peace.

Yakeen in Allah.

Reading this post gives me hope!ALLAHU-AKBAR!!!

May Allah be with you and your family always...Insha-Allah

Aftab 6 months ago

Dear Emma

I am been going through the same old problems n all my problems when I think are Geting solved sm other new problem comes up n gets everything more complicated .

I went crazy in the past months so my family got me sm help but it's nt really helping I just put on a smile face n go through the day but I cnt focus on n thing n just go to work to mk everyone happy .

But my health is Geting bad I lost weight n everyone tells me that I look like that I am on drugs or sm thing else .

I been having panic attacks Bcs of me constancly thinking abt my life n my childreans life but my life cm to a point where I cnt mk n decision of what would I like it to be .

Bcs of this sisution I hv no clue what to do . N my family always wanted me to marry a Pakistani girl n I guess it's going that way

I dnt know what to write n more

Aftab

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Aftab

I am sorry to hear that u went through so much lately. I understand the magnitude of ur problem. U mentioned ur children's future, have u got another baby now?

Aftab I dont think ur doing anyone, especially urself any good by showing a brave face while u r hurting. Its ok to feel sad while we go through life changing transformation and we should not feel obliged to keep others happy while we r hurting badly. I said this to u b4, right now make urself ur top priority and stabilise ur mind. If u cannot take a decision why dont u do istikhara, ask Allah for help? He will show u the way. Since u got children I strongly suggest u do istikhara and seek guidance from Allah b4 u get married to someone else.

If u write in detail about ur problem I might b able to help u more and also u will feel light. I have experienced it myself, once u write down ur problem on a piece of paper or tell someone u feel much lighter.

Let me know what u r thoughts are

Aftab 6 months ago

Dear Emma

I dnt even know where to start with my problem . Ok u know I had a daughter with this girl she is Muslim from Jordan n my parents had a fit b4 .

But after a while my parents agreed that I could marry her n Jst be happy n do nikkah n mk it official .

So I was like great but my mom said to stay with her so my child's mother aamina she couldn't get along with n one but it was more from my mom being harsh on her . N this was Jst for a while I thought everything was going to work out .

She used to live n hour away from here in Chicago so my parents gv me there speech that I could stay at our old house with her but I should do nikkah first .

Bcs they said she is from different culture diff food n diff language so it's better to stay with her at our old house . So I told her to mv bk to Chicago n that we will do nikkah b4 she moves bk here .

N she moved gladly Bcs I think she was also kind of tired being around my mom n nt hv her freedom .

So this one day I happen to be in Chicago for sm business purpose I should up unannoced to her house to c my daughter n she had sm guy looked in the bathroom scared of me that I showed up there without telling her n I broke the bathroom door to c who it was n I just left from her house n told her nt to call me at all . But she kept tried calling me n my parents didn't knew n thing abt what has happened . So I gv a thought n said for my daughter sake that I will still marry her then she tells me that Jst for papers she is married to this guy I believed her n forgot abt everything atleast for the moment but still I felt very bad inside hiding this from my family

They still dnt know

But later aamina I went to her lawyer n asked status abt her case that If I marry her cn she get legal papers of USA through me then her lawyer told me that her case is nt that simple n she will get deported if she gets a divorce n marrys me .

It dosent look good for her too Bcs she lied to the immigration n I hv the fathers name of my child's birth certificate nt her husband so her case is really screwed up .

N now my parents are asking me everyday that the whole community knows her n everyone is asking where is my wife n I hv no clue what to do with all this stuff

I got so mad at aamina that she was hiding all this stuff from me n y she put me in this sisution

Where I cnt do n thing

N my mom is on me everyday y she is living there in Chicago alone n u know all the desi talk

So I hv no clue what to do at this point

I am Jst going crazy n crazy everyday

Humayara Fathima.N 6 months ago

Assalamu Alakium My dear Brother & sisters,

Please Duaa For me.. Am in very big Trouble........... Am Working in a MNC company. Good salary.........but Life is going on big trouble, because of guys......... one guy is black mailing me................ i dont kow what to do???? Pleae pray for me.............. Even sometimes am hurting my parents ......... i don’t want that serious situation ...... my parents a groom for me... please for that also... i want to get good groom good hearted person.... very soon i have to engage please duaa for that inshaallah with in three months i have to engage with good guy in my job . good hearted smart person............... please.......Duaa for me...

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Aftab

First of all stay calm, I understand its a maddening situation, but losing ur mind will not help at all. I think u did the right thing by not telling anyone about this other man. She should have told u everything about this.

As for the future, I suppose it depends on how much u want to be with her. May be ask the laywer, if she divorces the other guy and marries you and than voluntarily go back to Jordan and seek visa from there as your spouse to join u, could she get the spouse visa and if so how long is it likely to take?

She could tell the authorities that her previous marriage failed bcos she fall in love with u and had a baby with u.

But b4 u do all this ask urself this one question, does she really love you?

Aftab 6 months ago

Dear Emma

I used to believe in love but nt n more . I dnt know if she Jst played with me or what . But for sure she lost all the respect from me what I had of her when I seen her with the other man .

If she divorce n marrys me she would have to leave the country for ten years n that's a long time .

I just keep thinking abt my daughter what kind of future wil she hv .

Well I dnt love her n more I was Jst going to gv her a another chance Jst for my daughter sake .

But now she had all these other legal problems now even if I want to marry her I cnt

Emma 6 months ago

People r desperate for US or UK status n they do desperate things, probably this is what she has done, majburi. Take ur time, and see if the answer is any different. Right now u r hurting n its quite normal to feel hurt in such situation.

10 year santion is for forgery, but if she can show the marriage was genuine at the time when she entered the marriage then she is unlikely to be excluded for 10 years.She probably is not telling u the whole truth for fear of losing u.

I understand your concerns for ur daughter, if I were in your shoes I would worry too.

As for ur parents, they probably sensed that this relationship is not working n thats why ur mum saying things. Dont be upset by this nor feel pressurised either, she is just acting like a mother. This what mums do. U got into a sticky situation, I think deal with it as best as u can and then take a decision. If it comes to nothing than whoever u marry make sure they accept and understand that u do have a daughter and they will have to share u not only with ur parents but also with ur daughter.May Allah help u.

Nabeel 6 months ago

your story has reminded me of why I am a Muslim. And why I have the honor to be blessed with the greatest religion,Islam.

May Allah guide us all to the right path.

Aftab 6 months ago

Dear Emma

yes that's what I been doing being patient all this time n I cnt really share with n one it gets to personal . N she cnt really get out of this marriage at all right now n this is coming from her Attroney who was kind enough to share the real truth abt her status with me .

I asked her several times y did she put me in the middle when she knew her sisution

But when I found out abt her like I said b4 having a guy over her house basically living there I lost all my feelings abt her .

N she used sm ones credit card here n the police found out so she has a felony on her record

So that's y her case is on a thin ice n her Attroney told me that's just like that her case dosent look good n on top of that she had a child outside the Marriage also confirms that this ws nt a legal marriage

N he didn't advice me to hv her get divorced n marry me .

But I been Jst patient n taking my depression pills that my parents forced me to go to a doctor which also I couldn't tell the truth abt .

So my parents are like mk a decision either her or sm one else

N I hv all day thoughts abt my daughter what her life will be like what if she gets deported n then what should I let her tk my daughter or I keep her then she will suffer .

What if I get married to sm one in Pakistan will she understand or I will Jst mk it more complicated for her too .

So I hv no clue what decision to tk which way to go

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Dear sis Emma,

salaam havent talked to u in a while as work and skool has kept me occupied and stuff but I still do come here since this is the site that helped me get outta some of my depression and become a better person.

Alhamdulillah recently I am starting to do better. Deep down inside I still have all this hurt in me but these past couple of weeks and months Ive been thinking more and more abt my parents and how much I am fortunate to have them. My aunt has been really ill and has been bound on bed since past 45 days and is in rehab now. I saw her yesterday and made me realize how Allah has been kind to me and many of us who still have our parents alhamdulillah, i cant thank him enuf for such blessing. Many of us think that and forget sumtimes wen were with our families, but after I saw my aunt yesterday and wut condition she was in it brought tears in my eyes and makes me realize how kind God has been to me to get me outta the mess I was in not too long ago.

I am very happy I came here to meet all of u nice ppl, and how Allah really does everything for a reason. Without coming here and talking things out I dnt think I wouldve made it to this point to have such realizations. I have stopped smoking and have made myself more closer to my mom whos been a big help for me and of course my father as well. Overall, thinking more about my religion and being closer to Allah (SWT) has made me a better person and help ease my pain. I dnt think I wouldve made it this far with out the help or guidance of Allah (SWT) in any obstacles either. I dnt think depression is sumthing that was untreatable for me but I am able to cope with it better, and my doctor took me off one medication since having so man in ur system isnt the best.... so now just one which is progress :)

I hope u are well and taking care of urself. We all have our ups and downs, Ive realized that nothing is too big or small for Allah. Thank u very much for being a good friend and suggesting wut it was u can, I pray that all of us are very successful and Allah blesses our lives with happiness and noor. Ameen.

Take Care :)

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Salaam sis Syeda,

Its okay, I understand things happen and all of us may become busy.

I am doing well alhamdulillah and Im glad ur steady as well.

I would love to try such outfit, I shud be getting sum soon, and yes I love shoes in my wardrobe, too many are never enuf lol

how are u doing otherwise, how is ur fathers health now?

I am glad to see u like this mashallah and may Allah always keep u and all of us happy. Ameen.

tc sis and keep in touch :)

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Aftab

Just do not think about this whole thing for a few days, get urself out of depression. Sometimes after a shock we need time to recover. U have done everything within ur power, persuading ur parents wasnt easy.

U r situation just reminds me of my mum. She is self destructive, continously jumping in the fire, not literally. I tried for good ten years to give her some peace and comfort, but she would continously make it harder for me to rescue her. I suffered depression, could not sleep for years and I had to fight with so many people, my life was a living nightmare. Now I have given up, cannot take it anymore. She never cared to understand my sacrifices and how I was suffering bcos of her stupidity, everytime demanding more n more from me. I realised that there are some people in this world who make their own lives difficult by taking wrong decisions n never seem to learn from past mistakes. If u happen to care for them then ur own life is ruined too. Best thing to do is to leave them to their own fate, bcos no matter how much u try to save them they r going to jupm in the fire all the same.

As for ur daughter, see what happens to her mother's case. If i havent said this b4, u r an intelligent man n thats why u care for ur child n I think u r worthy of respect. Dont let anyone tell u oterwise. For the time being dont worry about the child, if possible pay child maintenance, if u r not already paying.

Give urself enough time to recover n then get married. Once u r calmed u will see things better and make a good decision.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear sis Noorkh

I am glad to hear u r feeling much better. Yeah we take our loved ones for granted, its a good practice to learn to appreciate what we have got and be grateful to Allah for everything we have.I am pleased to hear that both ur parents are alive n well n may Allah grant them both long life. I lost my dad when I needed him the most, cried for years for my loss and now I thank Allah for giving me such a kind and protective father, the kindest soul I have ever known.

My mother is still alive but not well. She is in a lot of pain, caused by her son and his wife. She is not a bright person,. Plz remember my mum in ur prayers, my prayers seem to be going unasnwered.

take care sis

Emma 6 months ago

There are 5 major vices that are directly responsible for human misery. I am sure most people already know them; I am still mentioning them anyway. These are Ego, Greed, Jealousy, Anger and Lust. It has also been accepted that Dependency is also responsible for causing misery. When we are searching for happiness outside we should always check our own selves and see how much we need to change before we place the blame on someone else for our sorrow.

Whilst we try to keep these vices at bay by checking n evaluating, we should also try to adopt positive attitudes and virtues which will contribute to our happiness. These are gratitude, contentment, appreciation, kindness, compassion, honesty, respect and love. Once we are in touch with our own selves then we may find that we ourselves are the obstacle to our own happiness.

Aftab 6 months ago

Dear Emma

I really find comfort here kind of mk me feel relaxed when I am on ur site .

Ya I guess so I will leave everything alone n try nt to worry

Abt everything but these thoughts keeps coming bk in my head over n over again . But I guess I will hv to tk it easy . Since all this I hv left all my social life that I had a little bit left

Right now I Jst go to work for a while n cm home n Jst lay down

One good thing is our new house is close to this masjid so I go there most of the time .

But when I c our desi they gv me this look as look at him now .

But maybe that's just in my head like that .

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Aftab

I am glad to hear u go to the mosque.Sometimes Allah gives us sorrow so that we turn to Him for help and learn to love Him.

Do not pay any attention to anything negative. People might look at u in a funny way,thats the way some people r, just ignore them. U r not there to please them, u go there to please Allah.

Thoughts will come n go, bcos so much has happened in a short time.Just say to urself u have done everything u could. If u find urself getting upset or frustrated just gentle think about something good n pleasant. Try to forgive and forget. Listen to guided meditaions n u will feel lighter and happier. I will post a link bellow see if u like it.

Emma 6 months ago

No need to thank me. It feels nice to talk to a considerate n genuinely nice person, which I think u r. I know u have fought long n hard to protect ur loved ones, just the situation wasnt right. It is a test n may Allah grant u peace n happiness n keep her safe n stable too. Keep in touch, especially when u feel depressed.

Fahmi 6 months ago

Imam Ali, peace be with him, has said, "Whenever the Messenger of Allah (?) wanted to offer condolences to someone, he would say, '????? ???? ? ????? May Allah reward and have mercy on you.' And whenever he wanted to congratulate someone, he would say, '???? ???? ???? ? ???? ????? May Allah bless it for you, and may He shower His blessings on you.'"

It has been narrated that when a son was lost to Mu`adh, the latter's grief intensified, so much so that the Prophet (?) came to hear about it, so he wrote him saying, "In the Name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful. This is from Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, to Mu'adh.

Peace be with you. I praise Allah, the One and only God; may Allah magnify your rewards, instill in you patience and bless us and yourself with thanking Him, for our lives, those of our families and masters, in addition to those of our sons…, are all among Allah's enjoyable gifts, the most Exalted One, the most Great, the treasured trusts which we enjoy for a known term, and they are taken away at a certain time.

He has enjoined us to thank Him when He grants us, to be patient when He tries us. Your son was one of the enjoyable gifts of Allah and treasured trusts. Allah permitted you to enjoy him gladly and happily, and He took him away from you in return for a great deal of rewards: prayers, mercy and guidance if you persevere and place your trust in Him; so, do not combine two calamities lest your reward will be voided and you will then regret what you have missed.

If you see the rewards for your calamity, you will come to know that the calamity dwarfs besides Allah's rewards; therefore, rest your hope on Allah fulfilling His promise [of rewarding you], and let your sorrow for what has afflicted you be gone, as if there was no affliction at all, and peace [be with you]."[243]

Abu Abdullah, Imam Ja`far son of Imam Muhammad al-Sadiq, peace be with them both, quotes his father quoting his grandfather saying, "When the Messenger of Allah (?) died, Gabriel, peace be with him, came to him as the Prophet (?) was lying in state on the ground. Ali, Fatima, al-Hassan and al-Hussain were in the house. Gabriel said to them: 'Assalamu Alaikum, Household of the Prophet;

Every soul shall have a taste of death: And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense (Qur'an, 3:185).

Indeed, there is in Allah a solace from every calamity; everyone who dies shall be succeeded; everything that passes by shall be retracted; so, seek strength from Allah, the most Exalted One, the most Great; rest your hope on Him, for the true calamity is when one is deprived of the reward; this is the last time Gabriel descends to earth'."[244]

Emma 6 months ago

Hey there are couple of things that confuses me. I was reading about Ayub (PBUH) and what struck me was this. One day satan challanged Ayub's(PBUH) imaan and his love for Allah by saying to Allah that he only warships u bcos u gave him so much wealth and a good kingdom n sons ect. If u if took everything away from him u will see ne will no longer obey u. Allah said he will always obey me n I will show u. Then Allah's test started n Ayub(PBUH) suffered excruciating pain n sorrow for a prolonged period.

What couses me confusion is this, How was it fair on Ayub(PBUH)? It seems that he got punished not bos he did something but bcos satan challenged Allah. Yet Allah said He loves 100 times more than our own parents. Would any parent put their children to such a test?

Rana 6 months ago

Salaam'alekum every1 i m a revert to islam and i came to islam after much reading n my eventual faith. I have a guy in my life who is a Shia muslim n we have been in relationship since last 5 years.

Few days back his mum bought a proposal for him but said that he cannot tell their parents that u r revert muslim as it will destroy my image in family and at the end of he day i might be a sikh at deep in my heart.

I fear allah pak n i can say that none is worthy of worship except him. But how do i convince my man.

I prayed to allah pak fro stopping the proposal n allah pak helped me...but please can some1 tell me that how can i go about marrying this guy as before me converting we were physical n the thought of him gng away stabs like a knife in my heart.

Please help me as to what more dua's i can recite to this guy's trust though i know he loves me a lot. plz help

Rana 6 months ago

Salaam'alekum every1 i m a revert to islam and i came to islam after much reading n my eventual faith. I have a guy in my life who is a Shia muslim n we have been in relationship since last 5 years.

Few days back his mum bought a proposal for him but said that he cannot tell their parents that u r revert muslim as it will destroy my image in family and at the end of he day i might be a sikh at deep in my heart.

I fear allah pak n i can say that none is worthy of worship except him. But how do i convince my man.

I prayed to allah pak fro stopping the proposal n allah pak helped me...but please can some1 tell me that how can i go about marrying this guy as before me converting we were physical n the thought of him gng away stabs like a knife in my heart.

Please help me as to what more dua's i can recite to this guy's trust though i know he loves me a lot. plz help

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Rana

I dont know any dua but I would say carry on praying to Allah the way u r already praying.

How can anyone prove their faith to another human being? Its for Allah alone to decide whose faith is pure and strong and whose is weak. Just bcos ur boyfriend is born as a Shiah doesnt automatically make him a better Shiah than anyone else. Dont encourage him to bring in this type of silly arguement, bcos he is in no position to judge the faith of another being.

M 6 months ago

SubhanAllah, I really got tears in my eyes after reading your blog :') May Allah subhan wa hu taala always keep you and your family happy in this life and the next Inshaallah.

Salam Aleikum.

Tasnim 6 months ago

I truly felt your pain and It's truly amazing how devotion towards Allah can change a person's life...May Allah bless yuu and keep yuu happy like this forever..

Ami 6 months ago

dear Emma

Once when iwas feeling much depressed and wondering as to why we have to go thro tests(trails) I happened to listen to this speech of Dr Bilal Philips "Who is your lord".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww9ORhhrGyA

It does strengthen ur heart and increases ur faith.

The faith of Ayub was that he longed for pain more than pleasure ,bcoz difficulties brought him closer to his lord ,whereas ease usually brings negligence and carelessness towards worships .

Ami 6 months ago

dear Emma

Once when iwas feeling much depressed and wondering as to why we have to go thro tests(trails) I happened to listen to this speech of Dr Bilal Philips "Who is your lord".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww9ORhhrGyA

It does strengthen ur heart and increases ur faith.

The faith of Ayub was that he longed for pain more than pleasure ,bcoz difficulties brought him closer to his lord ,whereas ease usually brings negligence and carelessness towards worships .

ffatima17 6 months ago

Can i read durood shreef and tazbee like lailaha illah anta subhanaka inni kunto minaz zalemeen during my mensus. I am very depressed please let me know if i can read them wen i m napak. Also i was reading wazeefa like ya allaho, ya mujeebo, al badeeoo , can i continue to read them during my mensturation. please reply me soon. I am waiting.

Rehi 6 months ago

Dear people,

I interviewed at this hospital for my job. They invited me for a second interview. There were two people who interviewed me. They said they will let me know if they want to offer the job to me. There were two other girls for 2nd interview. This was my first and only interview. I cried and prayed to Allah to give me this job and put some mercy in the doctors heart at the hospital. Please kindly pray for me. I'm praying Durwood sharers.

Rehi 6 months ago

Dear people,

I interviewed at this hospital for my job. They invited me for a second interview. There were two people who interviewed me. They said they will let me know if they want to offer the job to me. There were two other girls for 2nd interview. This was my first and only interview. I cried and prayed to Allah to give me this job and put some mercy in the doctors heart at the hospital. Please kindly pray for me. I'm praying Durwood sharers.

ffatima 17 6 months ago

Can i read durood shreef and tazbee like lailaha illah anta subhanaka inni kunto minaz zalemeen during my mensus. I am very depressed please let me know if i can read them wen i m napak. Also i was reading wazeefa like ya allaho, ya mujeebo, al badeeoo , can i continue to read them during my mensturation. please reply me soon. I am waiting.

ffatima 17 6 months ago

Can i read durood shreef and tazbee like lailaha illah anta subhanaka inni kunto minaz zalemeen during my mensus. I am very depressed please let me know if i can read them wen i m napak. Also i was reading wazeefa like ya allaho, ya mujeebo, al badeeoo , can i continue to read them during my mensturation. please reply me soon. I am waiting.

maria84 6 months ago

Salam ffatima!

I think u can do but Im not that sure, maybe sis emma or ifirdous know better, hope u get an answer soon. Im gonna read this dua inshalla too and also estaghfirallah rabbi wa atoubo ilay and ayatul kursi

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Ami

Thanks for the reply n the link, though I am yet to watch the whole of it. U r right sometimes we through sorrow bcos Allah wants us to remember Him and seek help in Him and also learn to love Him. We also suffer sorrow bcos we ourselves might have caused sorrow to someone else and it is just the way things work. However, as for Ayub(PBUH) was concerned he was already a very good n blessed being and was in tune with Allah. The closet answer I got in the matter is that Allah tests the strenghts of our faith in Him, which u also said. So stronger the faith the harder is the test

People like Eckhart Tolle say we need to make total submission to the Almighty. Brahma Kumaris say we are acting in a drama, so we should not to worry about the worldy pain and etc just stay in remembrance of God and the fact that our role here is very limited n we all are returning to Him, which is close to Islamic view. They say we get caught in the world drama bcos we have forgotten who we are n where have u come from n where we are going to.

I read when Musa(PBUH) asked Allah how was satan able to enter heaven n deceived Adam n Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, Allah said "Oh Musa I know what U don't." I recently learnt that black magic or magic was initially taught by two angles Harut and Marut bcos Allah ordered them to teach, though they worned everyone that it was test of their faith n they should not leanr this. Allah seems to be testing us all the time n He also provided all sorts of temptaions as well. Well that definitely makes the drama of this world much more interesting. Well I think I literally got now with the last sentence, subhanallah.

I just pray to Allah to have mercy on all of us n our parents n not to test us, as we r not strong enough to endure any more sorrow and retain our faith.

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Fatima

As far as I know u can read durood sharif n even recite surahs, but u are not allowed to touch the Quran.

Maria 84 I hope things are getting better for u.

syeda 6 months ago

Assalam alaikom sis, noorukh.

Great to hear that you are doing well sis Mashallah be that way always...INSHAALLAH. hows your emotional health sis?. i hope ur slowly moving on frm da past.

Such outfits are nice there are both available in casual and party times which one u pick is your choice...too many options lol.

I'm doing good elhamdulliALlah and by the grace of the Almighty Allah My dad is ok now he is going to his office Mashaallah he has some land disputes tensions but he is mentally pretty better frm earlier Elhamdullilah.

Yes, sis Ameen May Allah keep us all happy and away from evil. May all of us keep the rememberance of Allah every moment of our lives till our last breath Ameen.

JazzakAllah khairun sis.Allah hafiz n take good care.

raz 6 months ago

salaam please make dua as there's only two months left till my wedding but a problem has arised which may lead my familly to cancelling the wedding this proposal has dragged for a year and I have gone through alot and waited for this day and so has the guy we have been very patient and made dua when things went wrong everytime there was a new problem I thought the wedding will be off but then things got better but not long to go another problem comes on. The guy that my rishta has been fixed with is going through hardship and theres always one problem after the other but this is effecting our proposal please please make dua I know inshallah Allah will this time also make things better like he did before and answered to my prayer but I'm scared this time my family wont let it go and cancell our wedding, he is a nice guy more them my expectations and I dont wana lose him and I no I mean alot to him aswell, please every count me in your duas for my wedding to still take place..Ameen

maria84 6 months ago

salam sis Emma

Im doing a little bit better but not all the time, months ago, i told him that we could move to the country where he came from and he was like ohh of course, its my dream country and so on, but now when he has notice im serious..he is pretending busy and dont answer my message that fast, i sent him a email and he answered me 3 weeks later but everyday he was messagin me, i will answer..im just a bit busy and so on, and that hurts a lot..cause i just feel more that h loves me and h use to buy things only because I helped him to come here. I feel he just engaged with me to come here and study and work, but at the same time..he has been very nice too..even tough I use to avoid him and not to talk to him, he tried to contact me, buy things and so on..but since he got to know im serious with moving..he is just trying not to answer..i dont know what to do, even if I dont marry him and break..sooner or later, if i wanna get marry again..i will probably just get proposals from asia..so im so afraid, what if I feel, again that the guy just want me for europe. I dont know if u understand me, but its so hard and I hate it. Inshalla by the time I hope things get better.

How are u? I hope u re doin well.

Noorkh786 6 months ago

Dear Emma,

salaam sorry for late reply...as u may know Ive been working and its bcome tough on me, but alhamduillah at least i have a job.

how are u? I hope ur better from the last time we talked. how is ur mom? I hope shes better too and i will continue to remember her in my duas and stuff. I know how worried one can be if there mother is ill. I hope things get easier for u too, pplease let me know how ur doing. I really miss coming on this hub. ITs nice having a joba nd working but the things u like u shudnt have outta ur life either...

Ive been better than before. At times do feel kindda low, and think abt my ex... emailed him to say eid mubarak since we stoppped talking almost a month ago and he never replied :/ that was kindda expected, just makes me think how heartless sum ppl are and y Allah ended things. Other than that, it seems like I come across the wrong ppl always... idk y. I am on fb and seem to be bothered by such loser and I dnt wanna be rude to anyone but until recently some huy kept on messgaing me and saying how he likes me and is attracted. I did wut anyone wud do and ignore, but it just got to the point where it wasnt only annoying me but hearing about all this liking and love crap makes me angry from inside. I think ive become very stone hearted from inside and lost hope. Im happy to stay busy and keep my mind away from such things but at the same time i dnt believe things will turn around for me at least in that department. Well, I unfriended him and got rid of that drama. ppl are so bored its so lame... but i try my hardest to keep myself away from such distractions yet int he back of my mind i do wonder many things.

I will remember u and ur family in my duas sis. Plz take care of urself and I hope to hear from u soon. :)

--Noor

nur ha 6 months ago

Dear sis,

alhamdulillah allah listen to your pray. im now asking allah to help me also since i also have problem in my marriage..its too complicated..before this im lost, frustrated as my husband betray my trust and flirting with other woman. as a wife i still loyal to him for the sake of allah..i always looking back at myself and my previous sin...i accept this as kafarah..and after repent all my sin im now more peaceful and closer to Him, pray and always pray..i think allah gave me a hardship and suffering in my marriage because He wanted me to back where im belong.To Him..and i know there is a lot of good things behind what happened.allah knows better. Beside my greatest love now is only for Allah. That is the true happiness that im looking for. Im thanking Allah for all His Blessing. I always pray Allah to give His sign to my husband to change and be a good muslim. until now i still praying and patience to what he is doing...

Arshad mallick 6 months ago

ASSALAM ALAIKUM. brother and sister please pray for me also . rightnow i am also suffring from big proble.it always happend with me.even i also do mistake,but i dont heart anyone.bcoz i am also (insan)man. i dont know what will happend with me. but i need ur pray.allah hafiz

Emma 6 months ago

Dear Ami

I watched ur link and its really good, answered some of questions I was wondering about. I will watch all of them. Thanks once again.

Shagufta 6 months ago

Salaam all,

I have just come across this post and it really made me think. I have similar problems - divorced, can't find someone suitable to marry and now approaching my mid thirties.

I have been praying but also relying on anti-depressants, as soon as I read this post I threw them away and am going to be more and more committed in praying salaah and reciting the Quran and praying to Allah.

Please can you all pray for me that I find my soulmate soon. I pray that Allah (SWT) answers everyones duas.

Ameen

Samidah 6 months ago

As Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatu Allah Wabarakatuh sister,

I would like to hank you so much for posting your story I am going through a hard relationship I am married with an 11 months baby , my husband is insulting me and being so disrespectful to me and that is because of material things after reading your story I felt peace and I cried and I am saying Alhamdulillah that He is the one who is in control and no one except Him Subhanah. May Allah bless you and your family and give every woman who is going through hardship in her relation lots of patience, peace and more strength in the deen, InshaAllah.. Zajakum Allah Khair Wa Salaam,.

Mohammed Nabeel 6 months ago

As Salaam Alaikum 2 evry 1 huz bin posting up here May Allah subhana wa talaa bless u all Ameen

iv bin reading through a couple ov posts and dey are heart touching i wud like 2 sai 2 all those sisters out their that Allah subhana wa talaa has given you all a special gift which iz patients Alhumdulillah you all are very strong most people wud say men are more stronger then women but i believe women are much stronger then men emotionally and mentally.Allah subhana wa talaa has given the ability 4 a women 2 handle pain and keep going Alhumdulillah thats why my message 2 all the sisters on this forum is dont worry and what ever you do dont give up! Allah subhana wa talaa is wit u becuz he luvs u. have faith in Allah subhana wa talaa and insha'Allah ul be successful . May Allah subhana wa talaaa bless u all Ameen

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@Syeda:

Salaam sis,

Im doing better alhamdulillah. Works keeping me busy and skools abt to finish for the semester so getting ready to finish and hopefully pass inshAllah.

how are you doing? wuts new? good to hear ur abbu is well too mashAllah. Emotional health is better. At times I do think abt y my ex did wut he did and miss how i was with him. Sumtimes or most times I meet the wrong ppl and I came across sum weirdo and idk y i always meet the wrong ppl... :/

I just try to keep myself busy and not think too much abt wuts missing in my life and appreciate wut I have. I leave it to my Allah and He's helped me come this far, and I have faith that He'll help me later down the road too Ameen.

I hope ur taking care of urself and feeling better. Do keep in touch and we can talk wenever hopefully.

tc sis, be happy! :)

Noor

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@ Mohammed Nabeel:

Walaikum salaam, May Allah (SWT) bless u too and all the others here AMEEN. Many of us are tested in this life for a reason and sumtimes u have to go thru hardship to come out a better person. I myself have had sum things that have happened too, I dont know if u came across my post, but I used to visit this site just like u found it. I would read everyones posts and think to myself Im not the only thats been thru such things and Im not alone. Finding this hub and hearing sister Firdos' story gave me hope and made me feel that its not the end of the world.

Alhamdulillah, I come here almost everyday and try to write to the fellow brothers and sisters here. I like being able to share and hear wut others have to say as well. I feel like this is a nice place for us individuals that share such things in common to be able to talk to one another and share our concerns.

I am grateful to Allah taalah and many of the other sisters here would agree too that we are blessed with patience that only God can give. Many ppl dnt have much tolerance these days, but Allah is the one who gives sabar and piece of mind even after sum of us have had a traumatic past. I totally agree with wut uve said and thats wut I remind myself and others. At times we all do feel very low, but without Allah's help we all know that we cant overcome certain obstacles in life.

May Allah bless us all, ease our hardhships and make us better muslims. AMEEN

take care,

Noorkh786 6 months ago

@ Mohammed Nabeel:

Walaikum salaam, May Allah (SWT) bless u too and all the others here AMEEN. Many of us are tested in this life for a reason and sumtimes u have to go thru hardship to come out a better person. I myself have had sum things that have happened too, I dont know if u came across my post, but I used to visit this site just like u found it. I would read everyones posts and think to myself Im not the only thats been thru such things and Im not alone. Finding this hub and hearing sister Firdos' story gave me hope and made me feel that its not the end of the world.

Alhamdulillah, I come here almost everyday and try to write to the fellow brothers and sisters here. I like being able to share and hear wut others have to say as well. I feel like this is a nice place for us individuals that share such things in common to be able to talk to one another and share our concerns.

I am grateful to Allah taalah and many of the other sisters here would agree too that we are blessed with patience that only God can give. Many ppl dnt have much tolerance these days, but Allah is the one who gives sabar and piece of mind even after sum of us have had a traumatic past. I totally agree with wut uve said and thats wut I remind myself and others. At times we all do feel very low, but without Allah's help we all know that we cant overcome certain obstacles in life.

May Allah bless us all, ease our hardhships and make us better muslims. AMEEN

take care,

Mian Najeeb Mujaddidi 6 months ago

@shagufta

Dear Sister !

May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala help you and may your all problems be solved. Aaameen.

I suggest you and every sister who's seeking a good proposal, a wazeefa.

After Fajr prayer, Praise Allah as much as you can and send Darood Shareef on Nabi Pak (s.a.w.) as much as you can, then recite Surah Yousaf once and after that Dip a comb in Arq-e-Gulaab and comb your hair in center parted style, then cover your head with Dupatta.

InshaAllah everyone who does this will hear very soon for a proposal and will find a noble family and her inlaws and husband will love and respect her.

Any married girl can also do this to gain love and respect from husband and inlaws, InShaAllah.

But keep in mind that We should have complete Trust in Allah that "we've done this and Allah will must do what we need good".

Without thorough Trust we can't gain anything.

Don't stop your tongue, or at least heart from reciting Darood e Pak and Astaghfar. And always keep wird of "Ya Hayyo Ya Qayyum".

May Allah solve all the problems of all of us.

Aaameen.

For any assistance, anyone can contact me at niji.1970@gmail.com.

Mian Najeeb Mujaddidi 6 months ago

One would have to keep this routine up daily. Have faith in Allah and soon you'll get it InShaAllah.

Shagufta 6 months ago

@Mian Najeeb Mujaddidi

Thank you very much for your duas and advice. InshAllah I will try to follow your advice as best as possible. If there is anything else that I can do to help my situation please let me know. I would be very grateful.

maria84 6 months ago

salam @Mian Najeeb Mujaddidi

Whats arq gulab? plz tell me in english since i dont know urdo.

thanks for this advice, i will inschalla try it too!

Shagufta 5 months ago

@maria84

arq gulab is Rose Water. You can get it from most Asian shops. Hope this helps!

Emma 5 months ago

Dear maria84

sorry for the late reply bcos I was not too well. I think u will not be able to make a correct decision on the basis of his unwillingness to return to pakistan. Have u not done istikhara yet? If I were u i would rely entirely on the istikhara result. Make sure u understand the dream or get it interpreted by an imam.

Dear NOORKH

thanks for remembering my family esp my mum in ur prayers.

As for attracting wrong people or unhealthy relationship, u need to carry on working on urself. Love which creates some sort of dependency, emotional or otherwise is a trap. Pure love sets u free and increases ur own confidence to such an extent that u feel u can fly without wings.

Salaam all 5 months ago

I'm shocked to read all these comments, literally all are related to wrong doings of men. Sister samida I can understand your problems especially with a baby. Since I became pregnant I realised I was always last for my husband his generally I nice person but things are difficult at the moment as I have a baby same age as yours. My husband never supported me when I had a baby and I become depressed not because of my baby but because I couldn't handle my husbands behaviour. But I have come out of depression as I never gave up believing in ALLAH. No matter what I have always fulfilled my duty of a wife

Maintaing all the household chores and keeping my family together. I don't know if my husband will ever appreciate me. There were days I cried in front of him begging for help but I was ignored and sometimes he would make it out like me keeping a baby and doing everything is no big deal. I have always supported him in his difficult time and this was his chance to show his love and support but he failed. I don't think I can ever forget or forgive him for how much he hurt me, I don't have anyone to talk to as I wouldn't discuss all this with my family. Every women around me is unhappy in marriage and I'm not saying this coz I'm a woman but seems to be men at fault all times and women are just doing everything to keep the family one. My husband comes home from work doesn't even say hellow and one day after queering his attitude he says weve become old now and his bored of all this romance. We ain't even been married long.

broxris 5 months ago

why dont you all grow up and stop believing in fairy tales?

Noorkh786 5 months ago

broxis: well sorry to hear that u dont mr/ms. negativity... if u have faith in God anything is possible my friend.

Noorkh786 5 months ago

@ SIS EMMA,

salaam!

i thought I messaged u earlier but apparently my computer froze therefore my message got deleted. How are you? I always remember everyone in my prayers sister... so dnt u worry & no need to thank me :P

I like ur thinkingon this and u know wut thats aboslutely rite. U need to make urself better before getting emotionally involved in sumthing, which is potential for harm if ur not better mentally and emotionally.

Thats y i think i alwyas met the wrong ppl since I wasnt fully alrite and need to worry abt myself for now and wen time comes I guess itll happen. All the ppl i met so far were emotionalloy damaging and were all so very mean and hurtful.

A friend of mine (who is also a male) has made a bet with me that ill meet sumone in 6 months lol Idk if i believe all that but I think that maybe hes just saying that to be nice... Well, I am trying day by day to make myself better and inshAllah have faith that Allah will cure me fully from all this. I hope ur okay, I heard ur not well wen u were writing to maria? Hows ur mom now. I wil continue to remember u in duas and plz try to reply wenever u can and lemme know how ur doing. tc sweety

SHAIKHA 5 months ago

hi emma, im tina, remember me? how r u? i have something to share with me....i was really down at the time when i knew that my husband had an affair with a chinese woman, then i was introduce to the woman by my husband and subhanallah...i am wrong towards her...they were seem close cos they are friends for a long time, sometimes i do gt jealous but it seems it is not like what i thought all along...i feel so ashame that i have worng my husband and her and now she has help me in so many ways...and im really glad that she also became close to me and she also became my regular caller and we became good friends as well....i said sorry to her and explain how i love my husband and i love him from the bottom of my heart, she loves my children and she cares for my children....i felt so guilty and ashamed to find that i have accuse my husband and her....i feel bad about myself...

but there is another truth to this, my helper who has been with me for 2 years already and whom i consider as my family, has been caught withdrawing money from my account, i was overseas when the bank send to me the atm card and the pin number is send to me after 5 days and she hid the card from me and withdraw the money from the atm machines....then later she was also caught stealing my gold and money....its all missing and then i realize she is the one who told me that my husband has affair with this chinese woman and now i make friends with this chinese lady now both of us reaze that she is the one who poke fire to us and we found out all that she talk are all lies and false....

im very devastated and sad that only now i discover from her cousin that my maid is wanted by the police in the phillipines and i have made police report and also reported to the immigration officer that she used fake name and passport to come to singapore...

i discover my maid is a fugitive in the phillipines and also my maid is a criminal.....i fell it is a blessing that i have this trials in life and all came to light...allah open up to me what are all she done to me, and who are my enemies, and what is hidden from me?

this mistakes in entruting my maid and never have bad intention to her, has given me an experience not to trust people easily, im sad to know the truth...but allah is really great and HE open up all to me...HE is my savior, my companion and my well wisher....allah akbar! allah akbar! allah akbar...alhamdulillah....

i want to share you this video as it really help me

and it really help...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEO9lyaI6Nk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4NgaTsQOWU&feature

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

@ salaam all:

It's sad to read ur story too. If sumone takes u for granted then I dnt see y u still try to act nice? Dnt u think u deserve good too. No one deserved to be treated that way, especially if u care for the person. I can relate to this cuz ive been that person treated so bad, wen I tried to be nice. I learned the hard way too. If sumone doesn't appreciate u, then u dnt care abt them too much either. We all deserve good if we're good. Tc hope Allah makes this easy for u. IA and AMEEN :)

farhana 5 months ago

Salam ifirdous i really enojyed reading your story,i am so happy for you that allah has given u happiness alhamdulillah.

i am farhana i an an islamic educationist had gone through a divorce three years back have two girls their father has abandon them .agony pain depression all pounced on me but the flame of faith in me made me get going at all times .Allah subhanatallah sees that He lifts the brokens souls to a new level where they understand things in a better way .

throught this post i would like to propose mr @aftab i am a pakistani 36 years old ,i read and i am aware of ur tragedy but the chid that u have ,has done no wrong be happy that u r a father or a rahmat Allah knew u can take care of her that is why she is there with u today . If u would be kind enough i excepting my proposal i will be honoured by a third daughter and inshallah together we shall give them the right education and upbringing that they require .i am not a very strick muslim but yes i am a good human being and a good muslim god fearing and very down to earth.

i shall wait aftab for your reply

maia84 5 months ago

Salam sis Emma

No its okay :D thanks for ur replay. I know i have said that im gonna do it but i dont have the courage.. im afraid of what im gonna see...sooner or later, i will inshalla do it..when i feel ready cause right now, i feel so depressed. Inshalla we will see what happens.

Hope u are doing good and u get inshalla better.

maria84 5 months ago

Salaam noor!

How are u ? I hope u are doing good with school and work.

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

Walaikum salaam Maria!

I'm doing good alhamdulillah just so tired from work today I fell I'll there too cux I didn't sleep whole nite :(

Skools almost over and I can't wait. Plz pray I pass my math class. I'm not too good in it & I really need to pass it to graduate inshAllaj. How r u hun? I haven't forgotten abt wut I need to do for u, & will get to it iA this weekend. Tc

GMChub 5 months ago

brothers and sisters we all need to keep each other in our prayers as we are channels to lift each others spirits .

i am a broken torn apart myself just recently after three years or divorce i met some one over the net .i am writing this because someone had advised to use net to find good men There are NO GOOD MEN .people are buzy playing with peoples feelings and emotions so i will not advise anyone to use net to find their better half i was not fooled once i was fooled more than six times .Allhumdullilah the prayers have saved me from these vicious people .The use allah rasool and quran's name to fool wpmen like use just for wrong .recently i met mr. aslam wajid from jedda saudi arabia.he is a banglorian from india .we spoke on the 7th of sept he convinced me that he is a good man .i continiously kept saying that i have alot of friends who have been cheated by indians because i am a pakistani i was telling him i doubt him being good .but he convienced me he flew to duabi on the 21 of sept saying that he did umrah before coming as i am about to get into a great relationship i dont want any evil eyes. i was impressed and taken by his behavious he treated me like a queen a true gentleman he was great with my children he had dinner with my family .he went happy. He said he will move to dubai will wind up everything there .he became very busy so busy that now he does not even return my calls .where is his love where is his promise .i am shocked by this behaviour people are not scared playing with other peoples feelings .please tell me a dua

and please tell me should i keep calling him or just wait

or just forget

i am going through same depression as i did when i was going through my divorce

i am a very strong independent woman it is Allah who has made me like that i can forgive very eazily as i know Allah shall handle everything it is just that i cannot understand WHAT DO MEN LIKE ASLAM GET BY PLAYING GAMES WITH FEELING OF A WOMAN LIKE ME.

MAY ALLAH GIVE THEM HADAYA

BEWARE OF MEN LIKE ASLAM

GENTLEMEN RELIGIOUS POLISHED BEHAVIOUR

but in real it is an act to TRAP

@AFTAB JI PLEASE REPLY

aamir 5 months ago

I was buncking my lecture and my sir came to know about it and he told k I will tell dis to your father. plz Allah help me so that my sir don't say nything to my father .I promise I will never bunk my lectures unnecessarily.help me

Mian Najeeb Mujaddidi 5 months ago

Salaam All !

May Allah help all of us, may all of our. problems be solved. Have faith in Allah only.

You cant imagine how much terrific life I've lived, always decieved by my wife, she and her mother put magic upon me and u can't believe, I lost my everything, my business, home, everything, only because I used to threat my wife that if u didn't stop what you've always done, then I'll marry another girl who will be religious and who will care for me, pray for my good. But her mother made plan that she'll support her, but made me almost penniless by evil magic, and my wife plays in money, still we live together but you can't imagine how difficult it is to live with a person who is always your enemy and destroyed your life.

But I am living for my children, my cuties Allah gave me. Being still young in age of 40, I've killed all my wishes, only for my kids. I could and can make a 2nd marriage, but I dont think about it due to kids.

I need suggestions of you people about if I was right, for I bear my wife and killed my pleasures, my leasures, my needs, only for my kids? I trust Allah will reward me by giving my children good lives and good carrier InshaAllah.

Each and everything in my life is stuck since three years, I want to sale some property to continue my business but its not being sold due to magic also. But I'm never hopeless, I believe Allah will help me one day and I'll be stable again InshaAllah.

I gave my example so that all should learn, that Allah loves patience. Otherwise many people like me even commit suicide in such condition, when they dont find even a single person in world who worrys for him, however he worrys for everyone.

Anyhow, pray for me and my kids, As I always pray for the whole Muslim Ummah.

Regards.

Anyone who needs some guidance regarding any matter can contact me, I'll try my best to guide him/her as much as I can, and only I need in return is prays of all by heart.

(niji.1970@gmail.com)

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Tina

I am glad to hear that everthing between u n ur husband is ok. Just be safe and remember the saying that there is no smoke without a fire. U r in a position to see whether ur husband's friendship is nothing more, though I wouldnt approve such a close friendship between a married man n another woman.

U didnt cause any damage to ur husband's reputation by writing here, bcos no one knows who he is. So dont worry about that u acted like a good wife. Dont feel too much guilt, its bad for u n stay alert. Take care

Emma 5 months ago

Dear maria84

take ur time, no rush. But the longer u keep this relationship on a hold the more stagnant it will become. relationships need a flow the same as water runs in a river, otherwise they become a burden and most of the time one party has to pull the weight of two. If u say u r afraid u will be, bcos whatever we say the most we become that. good luck

Dear Noorkh

the right person will come when u r not looking for him. He will find u, just love urself more n more n enjoy ur own company for as long as u can.

I am still in a lot of pain, cannot bare to see my mother in so much agony n when i try to help her I end up going mad everytime, endless cycle. This time I am learing to leave it to the Almighty to take care of everything. For my part I seek His mercy and forgiveness, may Allah have mercy on her n forgive all her sins.

ffatima17 5 months ago

Salaam,

I dont know wat to do. he is not talking to me nor he is accepting my call, i m getting mad n frustrated.I read lot of dua n offer namaaz, tell me wat to do... i m restless.

Maria84 5 months ago

Salam sis Emma

yes i know what u mean, the sooner I make a decision, the sooner i might get inshalla better. many times i think, i will just give up and see what allah make decision for me but i feel i dont have that much patience but im trying my best to be patient and see what happens.

I cant believe i have been feeling like this for more than 3 years. .. but i know there is a lot of people who is dealing with much bigger problems so i try to be grateful but sometimes i cant be that. I just want everything to be prfect even tough i know thats not possible. I still have the chance but i wish he could leave the country so i could have some peace. I cant imagine how to make it out, if we divorce and he wil stay here. Im just a weak person, but inshalla i ll keep making dua and ask allah for help. Inshalla i hope things get better soon.

I read that ur mother is a little bit sick, i hope she inshalla gets better soon so u can have less problem. I always try to mention all of u on this website in my prayers. I really like u cause ur are helping us and give us hope. May allah reward u and give u happiness in life inshalla.

Maria84 5 months ago

Salam noor!

Im doing well. Hope u also are doing fine now.

Like i earlier wrote to u in the mail, u can answer me whenever u have time. its no hurry :D

Im glad u are gonna almost finish school soon and i hope u inshalla pass the math too. I will of course mention u in my prayer. Hope u also can mention me in urs inshalla. I still work and im glad that they need me and call me to come and work. But i have been starting with not go to the school again. Some days i just dont want to go but im trying my best to go. I know i wont get better staying home, but i dont know why i feel so. I think a lot of what will happen if we get divorce..i hate these toughts.

Anyway are u gonna finish ur education til dec or??

MianNajeebMujaddidi 5 months ago

@shagufta

@maria84

Assalam o Alaikum !

Where are you people from?

Have you started the Wazeefa I told? Plz Try to start as soon as possibe, It will help you much InShaAllah.

May Allah Bless all of us and all Muslim Ummah, Aaameen.

Plz Do Reply and plz say your prayers on time always, and pray for me too.

Jazaak'Allah.

Allah Haafiz.

MianNajeebMujaddidi 5 months ago

@shagufta

@maria84

Assalam o Alaikum !

Where are you people from?

Have you started the Wazeefa I told? Plz Try to start as soon as possibe, It will help you much InShaAllah.

May Allah Bless all of us and all Muslim Ummah, Aaameen.

Plz Do Reply and plz say your prayers on time always, and pray for me too.

Jazaak'Allah.

Allah Haafiz.

Maria84 5 months ago

Salam @MianNajeebMujaddid!

No i have not test what u said yet, i will inshalla do it.

Im from afghanistan but i live in europe, i have lived here almost my whole life.

Im just a weak person, if i would have been a bit stronger, today i wouldnt be suffer that much. Im in much pain but at the same time, i know a lot of people are dealing with much more problems. I dont want to be ungrateful to allah, cause i think my problems will be bigger if I dont try to be grateful. I try to do other good deeds so allah helps me with this problem inshalla.

I will inshalla mention u in my prayer...i try to pray for all muslims and wish everyone happiness inshalla.

May allah give u and ur children happiness and patience.

Shagufta 5 months ago

Salam @Mian Najeeb Mujaddid

I am from the UK.

I have already begun reading “Ya Hayyu Ya Qayuum” and “Durood shareef” regularly, however I have not tried the wazeefa you mentioned yet. Is there any chance possible to try this wazeefa after Isha salat or does it have to be after Fajar? As it is not always possible to do this in the morning. Also is there anything else I can read that will help. I am already feeling better since I started reading Alhamdullilah.

I read your post and will mention you in my duas. May Allah (SWT) help and protect you and your children. I am sure Allah (SWT) will reward you for thinking of your children and they will grow up to be the good muslims you hoped for InshaAllah it will all be worth it in the end for you.

Ameen

MianNajeebMujaddidi 5 months ago

@Shagufta

Dear thanks so much for your prays, May your all problems be solved, Aameen.

Actually this wazeefa can be done only after fajr Sohni! Anyhow if its difficult for you then I'll try to find out some other for you.

Plz mail me your name and date of birth if u feel comfortable, I'll try to find out some effective zikr for you. You know its my dream always that I could live a happy life and wish to marry another, but dont know why could not ever. But if I could, I must have proposed a girl like you, so that I can please my Allah to help someone, because I know myself that if I'd hqve found a good wife, then I can keep her very happy as its my nature to keep people happy. Anyhow plz email if u can so that I can send you anything I found for you, and plz tell me ur qualification, family, etf and what type of person you wish as your soulmate.

Jazaak'Allah.

@maria84

Sohni thank you so much for your wishes and prays, May Allah also Bless you and your loved ones with joys and success every moment, Aaameen.

You can contact through email if you feel ok. Actually Im mostly at mobile, and this website is much difficult to open at cellphone, bcoz it takes much time to go to bottom of page.

I'd like to tell you, I've started NAATs in start of this year, and Im so peaceful mentally to keep myself busy in this beautiful hobby.

Must listen some of mine at youtube, search for MIAN NAJEEB SABIR NAAT. I'll be happy to get commented by people how I am in reciting naats, being a new in this.

Thanks.

niji.1970@gmail.com

Emma 5 months ago

Dear all

I am not trying to be rude to anyone but I have to say this:

Plz do not give out your personal details, such as full name, address and date of birth to anyone.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear maria84

U have a clean heart n thats quite a virtue. May Allah help u every step of the way to happiness and peace. I always make an effort to keep my heart clean and the reward I expereince is huge.I do not expereince greed, rarely experience jealousy or anger. These have helped me to stay calm n focused and increased my determination to work hard in order to acheive my goals.

Dont worry too much, trust the Almighty to show u the way.

Noorkh786 5 months ago

@ Emma:

Uve brought up a very good point, and thanks for sharing this.... sumtimes ppl may forget and this is really important since the internet is accessible to anyone. PLZ dnt share personal info ppl.

Noorkh786 5 months ago

Dear Emma,

I am sorry to hear that ur still in pain sis. I will pray for u and ur mom. I can understand how frustrating sumthings can be since Ive lost sum of my patience too.

As far as things with me go, I continue to live my life and concentrate on the here and now. I dnt think too much abt other things. U cant find ppl, Allah taalah has a given time for everyone and Ive left to Him. Im just a servant of his that was sent on this earth for a purpose of worshipping and living this temp. life. Ive stopped caring and do realize how short this life really is. I just feel bad for my family as to how much they hav e had to suffer cuz of me.

Take care of urself and may Allah make things better for u hun.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Noorkh

I also pray for u and everyone who is experiencing sorrow. Now is all we have n u r absolutely right to concentrate on the Now. Do not worry about the past pain that ur family n u suffered, just see what have u learnt from that experience. Every experience teaches us something new. Do not feel guilty, guilt makes us feel heavy. When the time is right ur other half will come to ur life, bcos Allah has made us all in pairs. Right now u probably r learing more about urself, which is very important for our happiness, but we always neglect ourselves. Be ur best friend n listen to the voice inside. Give a lot value to urself, respect urself more and love urself more than ever. Life will become simpler and lighter.

May Allah grant u a lot of happiness n protect u from sorrowful relationship.

Emma 5 months ago

http://youtu.be/QGiH-Ayl-E4

Surahs with English translation

MianNajeebMujaddidi 5 months ago

@Shagufta

@Maria84

I've searched for much for you and all my sisters who are facing this problem. I am told about this website and that the wazaif in this website are much effective. plz do visit, and have permission in the comments area and start the wazaif.

(http://roohaniijaz.com/rohani-wazifa-for-girls-mar

@Emma

You are right my sister that personal data should not be given to anyone, but dear, I've daughters too, I can feel the pain of my every sister and daughter, I didn't have any wrong intention. Anyhow you are also right for what is happening in world. Plz you also visit this website and gain whatever you can. I found it really good. Tell others too.

Regards.

Jazaak'Allah.

Allah Haafiz.

dorah s.k 5 months ago

congrats dear

Rehan 5 months ago

I have given an interview. It is my one and only interview and I really want this job. I have been crying to Allah to give me this job. Praying Tahajjud too. Do try zikr of Allah's name. Please pray for me this is I guess my last options. All other doors closed now. With this I can earn money send to Pakistan. Help my family and get married. Life is stand still right now. I am not a perfect person but also I think I am blessed by Allah but just one chance by Allah I need. Please pray for me. It's very painful.

Maria84 5 months ago

Salam MianNajeebMujaddidi thanks for the website. I ll check it.

May allah ease ur problems for givin us advice.

@Emma:

thanks, i pray a lot to allah to help me to be able to make a decision, a decision which is good for my future. I just hate that im insecure and that i cant force myself meet him and talk to him, to see if thats helps or just let it go. Both is hard for me. Sometimes i think its my punishment cause i always tought marrying in youth age and have baby is my dream and i still think so but i also think its important to marry a person who i can love,respect, obey and treat him well. I dont want to treat anyone bad, esp not my husband..since i dont like him now, im so afraid of what if i become a bad woman. I know he is a good man, i have notice know, the reason i dont like him and i started to avoid him, is that he was so in hurry with studies, to learn the language and start university. i dont know why, instead of getting happy, i just got a little bit angry and i felt he was just happy for coming here so he could study, u see, he could study in the country where he come from cause they wouldnt allow him. I pray to allah to make these bad toughts away from me. I have a lot of bad tought of him and i dont want to be kind of that person. I dont know if im jelous? or im just mad? the funny thing is, when we engaged, i asked him about study and so on. I wanted him t study and get a job but i dont know what changed my mind..maybe things he told me and now i want everything to be ok. I know i would let it go if he would leave this country..i could just move on with my life and pray to allah to give me a new chance with someone else. but since im 100 % sure he wont live this country, then i dont want to let it go cause it will be very hard for me seeing him outside and so on. InshAllah if im strong enough, i will do isitkhara tomorrow cause its friday and may allah help me.

u are so nice for saying these good things to me and try to help me. I really pray from the bottom of my heart for u and wish allah help u and ease all of ur problems inshalla.

Sabir Abdul Gafoor 5 months ago

Hi All,

Life is like a chess game with us(us vs world)when we play a single play the world play the another step and each step we have to follow very importantly.

1.People who do the dua and if they dua is not acceptance (qaboling ) then dont worry ALLAH is used to collect the dua which is save in our account and in the qayamat ALLAH will give the benefit of this collection of dua.

2.And if anyone is misused of Judge then dont worry ALLAH is the One Who give us justice on Qayamat Day.

3.According to me the pain we and my brother suffered is extremely never forgettable but Allah dont want we get far from him so he keep giving the pain us.

4.I advice everyone read the Quran with meaning specially surrah Muzzammil (With Meaning) before morning and if you pray after 5 times namaz afterward you will soon see the result.

5.Read the surrah Fatiha daily with meaning every morning and night.

unknown 5 months ago

love a guy but we din got marry b coz of some curcumtences and I got married to other persons .after engage we got fightin many times n many issues were there and den we got married den also there was many issue n was bad to live life so I call to the guy which I loved and den he supported me a lot for everthing as just gud frnd I started sharing every thinf about my married life with him we were toking many times after marriage as good frnd nothn much becoz of my married life was having lots of problem

I got married before 5 month . but me m my husband is nt closer n he don’t have ane feeling toward me he don’t care of me he don’t love me even but I love him from maah true heart but he understands that still I love the persons n that’s y only I tok to him but I relies my mistake n I appolise also n frm many months m not toking to that persond nw but now he wants divorce frm me but I love him a lot and I don’t want to let him go .i cleared many times this thing but he don’t trust me any more.

Pls give some suggestion

saiqua 5 months ago

Salamalaikum, just wanted to know you read 40 times Surah Yasin along with Surah Bakrah in one day during the first week, or did u complete reading surah Bakrah for 12 days and after which you read surah Yasin? I heard Surah Yasin should not be read during zuhur waqt or during afternoon. how did u read through? please share thanx.

SHAIKHA 5 months ago

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST MERCIFUL, MOST MAGNIFICIENT, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST LOVING, MOST FORGIVING...

I AM TINA AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE...RECENTLY THERE ARE TOO MANY BAD THINGS HAPPEN IN MY LIFE...MY ENERGY WENT LOW, I BECAME WEAK AND I LOST MY CONFIDENCE AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE STRESS AND INFERIORITY COMPLEX...AND I BEGINNING TO QUESTION MYSELF WHY IS THIS HAPPENINGS HAPPEN TO MY LIFE AGAIN AND AGAIN?

THEN JUST ONE DAY I PUT A STOP TO ALL THIS NEGATIVITY AND I WENT ON TO GOOGLE TO MANY SELF DEVELOPMENT VIDEOS THAT CAN BE FOUND IN THE WEBSITES...AND I FOUND ONE SPEAKER WHO WAS REALLY GOOD.... HERE IS THE LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEO9lyaI6Nk

AND THE SPEAKER TALKS ABOUT MOTIVATION AND IF IM NOT WRONG HIS NAME IS STEVE POLARAY

I LISTEN TO THE SPEAKER ATTENTIVELY AND REPLAY MANY MANY TIMES THERE 2 PARTS AND IT REALLY GIVE ME SOME LIGHT...I APPLY IT AND IT MAKES A MAJOR TURN IN MY LIFE

AND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE IS WHEN THE SPEAKER TALKS ABOUT FORGET THE PAST AND IMAGINE THE PAST... ERRORS, MISTAKES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE DEEMS CAPABLE TO HAUNT OUR THOUGHTS...

THE ONLY WAY TO MOTIVATION IS TO FORGET YOUR PAST..THERE IS A WAY TO FORGET YOUR PAST FROM YOUR MEMORY...YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE OF THE PATH YOU WALK SO FAR

THE EXPERIENCE OF YOUR LIFE ARE VALUABLE TOWARDS THE FUTURE BUT IT IS NECESSARY TO STOP SUFFERING FOR THEM; THE WAY TO FORGET YR PAST IS BY THE USE OF FORGIVENESS, FORGIVING YRSELF FOR YR MISTAKES IS THE ONLY WAY FORWARD

WHEN MEMORY BECAME A HANDICAP

IT IS TO TURN THE ENERGY TOWARDS YR FUTURE.... AND I START TO RELEASE ALL MY ENERGY BY FORGIVING MYSELF AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT ME IN THE PAST AND EVEN NOW...

AND A POWER AND MIRACLE CAME, I BECAME NORMAL AGAIN, BECOME MORE POSITIVE AND I CAN FEEL THE ENERGY IS HIGH AND I BECAME ALIE AGAIN

AND I PAY ATTENTION TO ALL THE TRIALS THAT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE...I WENT TRU A MAJOR OPERATION, THEN I WAS CAUGHT BY THE AUTHORITIES FOR GETTING MY MAID TO PATRICIPATE IN THE AGENCY WORK, THEN I DISCOVER MY HUSBAND HAS A BEST FRIEND WHO IS A WOMAN...AND THIS IS NOT ENOUGH, MY MAIDS STOLE MONEY AND GOLD FROM ME AND I TACKLE ALL ONE BY ONE

FIRST, I BEFRIEND WITH MY HUSBAND CLOSE FRIENDS...ITS A WOMAN....THEY ARE SO CLOSE, AND SOMETIMES TOO CLOSE TILL I BECAME SO UNCOMFORTABLE...BUT I CAN KEEP MY CALM AND COOL I SIT WITH BOTH THEM AND I WAS INCLUDED IN THEIR CONVERSATIONS...

WELL ITS NOT EASY THOUGH BUT ITS THE ENERGY IN ME, IM ABLE TO CONTROL MY JEALOUSY AND PUT IN MY THOUGHTS THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ANGRY OR ENVY BECAUSE SHE IS 50 AND I AM 34 YEARS OLD...

THEN MOVING ON, I CALL DHINA, MY MAID'S COUSIN AFTER I DISCOVER MY OWN MAIDS, STOLE MONEY FROM US, AND SHE IS CREATING ALL THE RIFT BETWEEN ME, MY HUSBAND AND THE WOMAN...THERE IS A GAIN TO THIS, BECAUSE SINCE WE ARE ALL FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER, MY MAID WILL ASK MONEY FROM ALL OF US IN THE PRETEXT THAT MY DAUGHTER NEEDS MONEY FOR ALL THE MARKETING, FEES AND ALSO ROB MY GOLD AND MONEY THAT WAS IN THE SAFE

AND I APPROACHED DHINA FOR HELP AND DHINA STARTS TO TELL ME SOMETHING WHICH REALLY SCARY...MY MAID IS WANTED CRIMINAL IN THE PHILLIPINES, SHE HAS A CRIMINAL RECORD AND USING A FAKE ID TO COME TO SINGAPORE....

AND THE BEST PART IS DHINA GAVE ME A COPY OF HER WARRANT OF ARREST THAT WAS ISSUED IN THE PHILLIPINES...ALL THESE YEARS I AM KEEPING A CRIMINAL IN THE HOUSE....

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS LOST IN THE HOUSE, GOLD, MONEY AND EVEN MY CHILDREN'S CLOTHINGS ARE DISCOVER LOST, I BECAME SO ANGRY AND FEARFUL THAT I AM KEEPING A CRIMINAL IN THE HOUSE

WHEN I START TO BEFRIEND THIS 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN...MY MAID START TO SHOW UNHAPPINESS, BUT I IGNORE IT, BUT COULDNT HELP LOOKING AT HER FACIAL EXPRESSIONS...

THEN CAME ONE DAY THE BANK CALL ME AND TOLD ME TO MAKE PAYMENTS FOR ALL THE MONEY I TOOK FROM THE BANK...I WAS LOST AS TO WHAT PAYMENTS I HAVE TO MAKE...

THE BANK REMIND ME THAT RECENTLY THEY HAD SEND TO ME ATM CARD AND THE PIN WAS SEND TO ME AFTER 4 DAYS...BUT I DISCOVER THAT MY MAID HAS GOTTEN THE ATM CARD AND THE PIN NUMBER

AND HAD WITHDRAW $7800 FROM THAT CARD....I LODGE A POLICE REPORT AND I TOLD THE POLICE TO INVESTIGATE IN THIS MATTER...

NOW I FEEL SO LUCKY BECAUSE I DISCOVER THAT BEFORE MY MAID WAS CAUGHT BY THE MOM AUTHORITIES, SHE ACTUALLY HAD PACK ALL HER LUGGAGE BAGS TO ELOPE AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY, BUT HER PLAN TO ELOPE FOIL BECAUSE THAT IS THE SAME DAY THE AUTHORITIES TOOK HER AWAY

BECAUSE OF THE CAPTURE, THE MOM OFFICIALS CAPTURE THEIR PASSPORT AND THEY COULD NOT LEAVE THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF THIS....MANY APPLICANT IN MY HOUSE WITNESS THAT SHE ACTUALLY HAD PACK ALL HER THINGS AND ALSO PACK ALL MY CHILDREN CHLOTHES ALREADY.

AND WHEN I STARTED TO BEFRIEND THE 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN MY MAID SHOW SO MUCH ANGER AND RESENTMENT, STARTED TO NOTICE AND PAY ATTENTION TO HER CHANGES..

THEN BOTH AND I AND THE 50 YEAR OLD BEGUN TO SIT TOGETHER AND DISCUSS WHAT MY MAID HAD BEEN TELLING TO BOTH OF US BEHIND OUR BACK

AND I WAS REALLY SHOCKED TO HEAR ALL THE THINGS ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID BEHIND OUR BACK, THEN FROM THERE WE KNEW SHE IS PLAYING WITH ALL OF US...

SHE STOP HER GAME WHEN SHE SAW HOW CLOSE WE BECAME AND STARTED TO NOTICE SHE START TO TALK TO US HARSHLY, THEN WE DISCOVER THERE IS SO MANY THINGS TAKEN FROM MY HOUSE

BUT ITS GOD'S TRIALS TO GIVE ME THE MOM ISSUES, AND GOD'S WILL ALSO TO LET ME KNOW WHO IS THE CRIMINAL AND GOD ALSO GIVE ME ALL THE ASSISTANCE I NEED BY INITIATING THE COUSIN OF MY MAID TO PASS ME HER WARRANT OF ARREST IN THE PHILLIPINES...

NO COUSIN WANT TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE IF IT IS NOT GOD'S WILL....GOD GAVE ME TRIALS BUT ITS REALLY A BLESSING IN DISGUISE...FOR THOSE WHO IS PATIENT AND PRESERVERANCE

NOW MY MAID IS UNDER POLICE CASE AND NOW THE POLICE ARE DRILLING HER AND I ALSO WAITING THE CCTV FROM THE BANK ALL THE FOOTAGE TO SHOWN ALL THAT MY MAID TAKEN OUT FROM THE CARD...

ALLAH IS GREAT AND ALLAH IS MERCIFUL AND ALLAH SHOW ME MANY SIGNS TO MAKE ME REALIZE TO WHAT EXTENT PEOPLE DO HARM TO ME...

ALLAH OPEN MY EYES AND MY HEART AND GAVE ME ALL THE ASSISTANCE TO WIN THIS CASE...USING INITIATIVE, INTUATION AND INTELLIGENCE TO GET MORE AND MORE EVIDENCE AGAINST THE THIEF...

NEVER COMPLAIN WHEN ALLAH GAVE U TRIALS...AND NEVER QUESTION WHY TRILAS ARE THERE IN OUR LIVES....TRIALS ARE ALL EXPERIENCE SO THAT WE CAN LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES.... TRAILS ALSO WILL MAKE US A WISER PERSON

Nat 5 months ago

I have read everything, and let me tell you, I am alive inshallah and not going crazy because of all of you!

ffatima 17 5 months ago

@ PRECOIUES STAR

Dear Precious star, I was touched by reading your post. I cant do anything for u except dua. After reading whatever you went through i felt that you are quite strong, or you can say there was no other option than to bear whatever happend. May Allah listen your prayer and give you all your happiness. I wrote this just to know about your well being. Please do write about your self if you feel comfortable bcos after reading all teh post here i cud not forget abt you. I am also going through difficult situation, I dont know whether u have read abt my post or not. I hope that you are doing good now.

brother naeem 5 months ago

i woulld like to point out that life has its ups and downs if we had just the ups and no downs we would probably feel high all the time but what would happen if suddenly a sudden tragedy fell upon us how would this effect our lifes .anyway the point i would like to make is we are been tested all of the times in our life and the best of mankind are those who praise allah s/t and have patient ,remember we are created not the creators we need to constantly read the quran and pray the compulsary prays 5 times not when we want to but when we have to in bad times and good .reading yor salah will inshallah bring you closer and humbler and allah s/t will guide youon the right path .slowly slowly life will be more pieceful inshallah.

brother naeem 5 months ago

last comments were for the brothers and sisters who are neglecting there prays and just passing there lifes without thought jkh

brother naeem 5 months ago

last comments were for the brothers and sisters who are neglecting there prays and just passing there lifes without thought jkh

SHAIKHA 5 months ago

yes brother naeem

i agree with yr comments....

Emma 5 months ago

Relaxing meditation

http://youtu.be/QFvelHlN9Rw

nat 5 months ago

Aftab, how r u doing? I really know how u feel, text me 7739711345. Don't marry someone u don't love.

nat 5 months ago

Aftab, how r u doing? I really know how u feel, text me 7739711345. Don't marry someone u don't love.

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

@nat: plz dnt share ur personal info online (I.e. phone no.) & for anyone else on this hub.

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

& for anyone else*** that comes on this hub

amar AlKhatab 5 months ago

Dear Sir/Madam;

Dr Yassiri says.."There are efforts to organise research looking at mental health services, what would be feasible economically and culturally," he says."There are a lot of things happening. But it will take years." If someone had flashbacks, nightmares, nerves, there would be nowhere for them to seek help.. "Youssef", Basra doctor.

On Thursday, BBC News talks to UK veterans.Friday, 12 August, 2005, 16:55 GMT 17:55 UK

The percentage of study subjects whose responses met the screening criteria for major depression, generalized anxiety, or PTSD was significantly higher after duty in Iraq (15.6 to 17.1 percent) than after duty in Afghanistan (11.2 percent) or before deployment to Iraq (9.3 percent); the largest difference was in the rate of PTSD. Of those whose responses were positive for a mental disorder, only 23 to 40 percent sought mental health care. Those whose responses were positive for a mental disorder were twice as likely as those whose responses were negative to report concern about possible stigmatization and other barriers to seeking mental health care.

I am truly sorry on what had happened to the armies which been reported mental health. Therefore, as a human being I am trying help your organization which also required your assistance.. A few steps that needs to consideration before pursue this steps:

1- the patience must free from drug (sober)

2- close the patience's eyes with their own hands..then

3- rubs/a little moves on their own eyes with hands gently until he/she saw images like glittering stars (one spot of light)

4- stay focus on the image/glittering spot until it appears look alike an eyes..do it for a couple of minutes.

5- after the patience saw image of the eyes,he/she should feel much better.. ( do exercise this frequently )

IF the patience do not recovered, they must been entered the Holy Place accidentally. Advisable to arrange a meeting with a Muslim community

6- refer to a Muslim what is the content of this recite chapter : Al Mu'minun:98 and al Kahfi:102

7- the images of eyes is the devil, so required a guidance from a Muslim.

MAY ALLAH HELPS US..

As a good muslim should have 'akhlak' of Nabi Muhammad SAW.

Noorkh786 5 months ago

@ everyone that has talked to me here in the past and those who havent also:

Plz remember me in duas since I am facing a lot of difficulty at this point and dont know what to do. My mind is blank... I feel like theres so much one can take and my head will burst.

Thanks in advance, and may Allah bless all of u as well that are experiencing difficulty in their life! AMEEN

emma 5 months ago

dear noorkh

just read ur post. whats happened? it doesnt sound good, would u like to give an update on life so far. sorry i have been a bit quite bcos i am sorting out my internal conflicts, which is comsuming a lot energy n needing continous attention, but inshallah i will be so much stronger n better soon.

i am still with u n the sisters n brothers who r in pain. may Allah bless u all.whatever u do dont give up on urself now, through this sorrow u might find ur creater. i have been through so much n now i think if i sought help in Allah alone n learnt to love Him sooner i probably would have suffered less. look at the problem as a drama of this world n u will feel better. take care

Emma 5 months ago

@ noorkh

plz listen to surah Al Imran especially the bit on Mary. Also listen to surah Mariam with english translation.http://youtu.be/GKYePN8vkYs

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

Salaam sis Emma,

Thanks for ur concern. Yesterday I was really disappointed at the fact that I wasn't passing my math class. Unfortunately this is because of my ADD symptoms and it has really taken a strong effect on my performance in the area of math. Well the reason y I was so worried was cuz of being unable to receive financial aid benefits and I wouldn't be able to complete my degree on in time & hve had a Lotta time that's been gone. Alhamdulillah Allah showed me yesterday that nothing's impossible and turned out for the better, I seriously thought a Miracle happened: yesterday, as I left skool I was very upset and sad. As I got home occurred to me to call my financial aid counselor, I called her and surprisingly I film. Out since my grades were high enough in other areas I wouldn't be disqualified from loans. I was ecstatic! Alhamdulillah Allah showed me that things aren't impossible and by the grace of God I am still able to retake and not be penalized. My mom was telling me that don't worry nothing's impossible and Allah will help u outta this & He did. I was a nervous negative wreck. I just lost the positivity in my mind.... I'm sure u can relate tothis after having certain obstacles in life. I learned to keep my faith strong, and not give up so easily, Allah does do miracles. May sound small to others but to me I wasn't expecting at all. I learned to have my faith stronger and Sumday meet sumone nice top since my mom always says that u will see urself one day, Allahs made sumone for everyone.

I understand uve had certain things going on & sorry I couldn't reply sooner. I was sp caught up in the finals thing that my mind was worried constantly abt passing. Although I didn't pass the course Allah gave me a acid chance to retake in January and I've started to be more positive. Ur right, certain things happen Becuz Allah wants us to be closer to him. I truly believe that.... I've left the rest to Him and hope and pray I'm surprised unexpectedly sumday and that special someone comes into my life. :)

I will always be here with u guys too. Our problems are shared and we listen to one another which is good and makes it lighter. I hope Allah blesses u dear sis Emma and u become better cuz u have a good heart and I show so much care and concern. How's ur mom? Plz tc of urself and keep me posted wen ur able to.

Sarah 5 months ago

PLS PLS can sum1 help me owt..pls..also pls do email sarahmaqbool@yahoo.co.uk

i had a arranged marriage to my cousin from pkaistan (i am from the uk) to b hnst it ws forced..but i went alond with it 2 keep my family happy..however.i had a b.f b4 who madly loved me...but for the sake of my family i let him go..even tho he asked his mum 2 come around 2 mine 2 ask for my rishta..

nway i went 2 pakistan my parents left me their for 5months..MY HUSBAND TURND OWT 2 B NASTY AND WE NEVR GT ON i got pregnant,when i gt bk i bcame so ill,with anxiety and depression i couldnt cope,my parents wr soo soo nasty 2 me..i jst cant begin 2 tel u..evn tho i was pregant.i rembr i us2 cry owt 2 Allah Swt in my hospital bed...

then my x got bk in touch with me..from then i jst couldnt cope..my husband wasnt over from pakistan,and i just couldnt froget my x as i had no1..EVEN THO I GOT MARRIED AND WAS PREGNANT WUTH ANOTHER MANS BABYS,HE TOLD ME HE IS STILL IN LOVE WITH ME AND WOULD BRING THE BABY UP AS HIS OWN.

I SERIOUSLLY WOULD NOT HAVE GT THROUGH MY PREGNANCY WIDOWT HIM..HE US2 COME 2 MY SCANS ETC..

nw my husband is over from pakistan..but wants a divorce.he told me that he only wants his visa..so my mum said jstget it him bcos hes my nephew..

NO1 NOS ABT MY X

my husband dint evn buy his baby things,my x has done all that her cot etc etc..

so soon am gna b a divorcee with a baby...

NOW THE PROBLEM IS

my x us2 b 'part of the wrong crowd'.but has changed his life around prays 5x etc etc and gives alot 2 charity etc..hes a good man. will Allah swt forgive him? should i marry him? i mean hes done sooo much 4me..he us2 b a well knwn person,and could have any1,but the fact that he has choosen me..means alot.he said he really loves me..and am hi smotivation for his change,and i helpd him 2 realise that we should follow the ryt path,and for that he cnt forget said he loves me and has evn tol dhis mum.i spoke 2 her she said' he wont marry any1 else apart from u'said i want 2 bring up the baby as my own

WHAT SHAL I DO? I DO LOVE HIM AND WANT 2 B WITH HIM THO

Noorkh786 5 months ago

Salaam Sarah,

How are u? I read ur post and it sounded like it was similar to mine. I was married arranged to someone from pakistan and it turned out he wanted a green card thru me too (since I live in the US)

I dnt think marriage shoud EVER be forced. Nothing ever works out wen its forced and life becomes miserable.

It sounds like u still have strong feeling for ur ex and he does as well which is good. Life shouldnt be abt marriage in ocmpromise it should be about two people together that love one another and are happy.

Allah is doing everything that is best for u.. all the signs are in front of u and it seems like now its up to u to make the right decision, that is in ur best interest and happiness.

have u done istikhara? I dont know if u did wen u were forcefly married but now is a good time. I am a true believer that Allah does everything for a reason...everything happens for the better sis. Life shouldnt be abt living always under other ppls control... I mean our parents mean a lot to us but out parents are happy in our happiness too.

If u think this guy cares abt u truly and loves u like he says he does then u shud do istikhaara and remarry. U cant live miserably wiht sumone else that treats u bad. Actions speak louder than words and it shows that ur ex bf showed a lot of that.

Talk to ur family and tell them this is wuts happening and now its my turn to be happy, for ur child and ur sake.

Maybe if u get a chnce u can read my story... from october 2011 so ull get an idea. As a well-wisher for everyone thats been hurt and is going thru problems- listen to ur heart and ask Allah (SWT) to do wuts best for u and inshAllah HE will. He listens to all our duas trust me.

take care and feel free to talk to me wenever u want.

--Noor :)

ffatima 17 5 months ago

@ Noorukh

I read abt u wen u were vry depressed 2 days back, i prayed from Allah for u. I even wrote the post to u but it didnot submit that day. Anyways it was nice to read abt u today that u r haapy now and ur dua was answered. It gave me the courage and patience. Even i m facing the difficult phase of life.May Allah lessen the pain of all those who r suffring and bless us with his Rehmat.

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

Dear Fatima,

Thank u so much for ur kind words and dua Sis :) I'm better now alhamdulillah and thanks to my brothers and sisters here Allah listened to their prayers. May Allah bless u and lessen ur pain/problems. I wish u all the happiness in the world too, and will remember all of us here in my duas. :) tc

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Noorkh

the key to staying stable is to have a strong faith and work on it to make it stronger through prayers. Allah does do miracles all the time, its us who often fail to appreciate and understand them. Hope things get better for you. take care of yourself.

sharlin 5 months ago

salam.i always used to think i am a very mature and strong person who can face any problem that comes to me. but after a certain incident, it proved wrong. i broke down and cried my heart out. i thought i faced the hardest problem in my life and nobody would understand it. i thought why Allah did this to me. am i that bad? and also Allah doesnt give what one wants rather what one doesnt want. but after reading your story, it certainly change my perspective that, there are much much more difficulties people face in their lives and Allah helps them but in his own unique ways. miracle does happen. im really getting hopeful for what i want now. and the biggest dua i can make to Allah is to help me instill my faith upon him. i really want the 'miracle' to happen. and plz keep me in all of ur duas. jazaak Allah khayer

tabassum 5 months ago

Dear ifirdous.

i am aslo going through some tension in my raltion of engagement altough i am getting married in Jan inshlla but i dont know y i bcome so much pessimistic althuong before my engagemnet i was very much optimistic about my life..but in 9 month of this relation i suffered alot and prayed i do trust Allah.....but recite different verses every time. Right now i was sitting and again negative thoughts started to come in my minds i thought i should read some thing to be positive and got your story...i have noted down all prayers.thanks for that.and remember me in your prayer that evry thing should go smoothly before and after marriage........

sheema 5 months ago

i adore this hubpage it is so useful dat it stopped me from commiting suicide

Emma 5 months ago

@ what do u mean by your DR Gboco? Is someone here doing spells etc? I would recommend anyone to read the Quran or the link I posted, stay active and clean. Nothing bad will happen to you, if u seek help in the almighty.

Aapka Bhai 5 months ago

IMPORTANT PLZ READ IT:

Meri Piyari Behno Aur Bhaiyon :

ASSALAAM-O-AALAYKUM :

Sirf Aik Aajizana Guzarish / Iltija Hay Aap Sub Se

Quraan Ko Daily Parhain Bhalay Do Ya Chaar Lines Parhain Magar Zaroor Parhain. Koshish Karain K Wazu Kay Saat Parhain Warna Baghair Wazu Kay Be Parha Ja Sakta Hay

SIrf Quraan Ki Specific Suratain Mat Parhain Balkay Daily Quraan Parhain Takay Aik Khaas Muddat Pe Ye Quraan Mukammal Ho Jaey. Shuru Main Parhna Bohat Mushkil Hoga Magar Aap Atleas Aik Maheena Regular Parhlain Phir Apko Automatic Aadat Ho Jaeygee

Aik Iska Bohat Chota Faida Bata Raha Hon. Aa Her Pareshani Say Aesay Niklaingay Jesay Makkhan Main Say Baal.

Shart Sirf Itni Hay Kay Aap Nay Daily Isko Read Karna Hay Sirf Read

Atleast Aik Quraan Aap Simple Read Karlain Phir Jub Apki Habbit Ho Jaeygi Tub Aapko Khud Quraan Apna Matlab Batana Shuru Kardayga.Aap Khud Ba Khud Uskay Tarjumain Ko Dekhtay Chalay Jaengay

Bus Quraan Daily Parhna Hay............................

Aap Ko Yaqeenan Ye Meri Naseehat Bohat Common Lagay Ge Magar Jub Aap Ammal Karaingay Tub Ap Per Bohat Sari Batain Zahir Honay Lagaingee

Mujhey Be Apni Dua'on Main Yaad Rakkhain

Aapka Bhai

rarekhan79@gmail.com

Noorkh786 5 months ago via iphone

@ Aapka bhai: u r not allowed to touch the Quran without wazu under any circumstances. I dnt know wre u heard this that ur supposed to hve wudu for sum suras but that's absolutely wrong. Plz pass along to others too. Thanks

UkhtyHizra 5 months ago

Asalamo alaikom sister I'm so touched by your story walla. I'm really happy for you alhamdolila that you were able to start afresh and begin a new life, God bless you. Brothers and sisters can I please request you all to make du3a for my ex fiance who I was going to marry but refused prior to finding out about his illness. He's in hospital fighting cancer :( he has a brain tumour which is hard to treat and the doctors can't help him at all, I beg you all to please make du3a that Allah swt cures and heals him from his illness :( I'm only 18 years old and I really want to marry him inshaAllah. Allah swt tests us to bring us closer to him and erase our sins :( I cannot afford to lose boy I really hate the thought of him dying and me having to move on and marry some other man :( please make du3a that Allah swt performs some sort of miracle insha Alllah ameen. BarakAllahu fiki ya muslimeen.

Anmol 5 months ago

salam to all ap sab ke story bohut khas hai mager mere stpry kafi alag hai. mein or woh jin se mere angagement hoe hai hum dono ne ek dosray ko pasand kia tha mager us ne mere sat dhoka kia woh mere behan ko bhi pasand karme laga or bohut zaida he alag bar gaya jab mujhe shak hoa to mene istakara kia tab mulom hoa ke yeh sach hai.ab ap log he batao mein kia karo mujhe to kuch samaj nahi araha hai.

Noorkh786 5 months ago

salaam sis Emma,

I have been kindda depressed this happens on and off for me but alhamdulillah even tho today was kinda a bad day in the morning the rest was better, becuz of Allah (SWT).

I do wanna get bck into namaaz and sumtmes i get so tired but i wana overcome that inshAllah. These past couple days ive been down... y cuz again im realizing how all my friends are engaged and in commited relationships and im still alone :( Its not easy ill tell u that, but last week I realized if Allah helped me thru all this with my skool and everything else He wil suprise me afterwards too InshAllah and AMEEN. I think too much too which i need to stop and think that taking one a day at a time is the best.

My dad was sick too yesterday and thats wen i thought i will only care abt my parents for now since they mean a lot to me. Theres days wen i dnt wanna get outta bed and I pray Allah helps me thru depression and brings me closer to Him and makes me a btter muslim. How r u feeling these days?

Noorkh786 5 months ago

salaam sis Emma,

I have been kindda depressed this happens on and off for me but alhamdulillah even tho today was kinda a bad day in the morning the rest was better, becuz of Allah (SWT).

I do wanna get bck into namaaz and sumtmes i get so tired but i wana overcome that inshAllah. These past couple days ive been down... y cuz again im realizing how all my friends are engaged and in commited relationships and im still alone :( Its not easy ill tell u that, but last week I realized if Allah helped me thru all this with my skool and everything else He wil suprise me afterwards too InshAllah and AMEEN. I think too much too which i need to stop and think that taking one a day at a time is the best.

My dad was sick too yesterday and thats wen i thought i will only care abt my parents for now since they mean a lot to me. Theres days wen i dnt wanna get outta bed and I pray Allah helps me thru depression and brings me closer to Him and makes me a btter muslim. How r u feeling these days?

Noorkh786 5 months ago

@ukhtyhizra:

salaam sister, I read ur story and I feel ur pain as I was diagnosed with a brain tumor 4 years ago. The only difference is that the boy I loved left me and didnt keep his promise of being with me and getting married. Allah did save me and He cured my brain tumor and alhamdulillah I am better and alive writing to you today. Plz keep hope sister and I do believe that Allah has the power to cure people from illnesses like the one ur fiance or I had. May Allah make him better and a miracle happens very soon! AMEEN I will remember ur fiance in my prayers and i hope Allah shows u that things arent impossible. take care sis :)

rani 5 months ago

Salam

im going through a pain as well but im not married or so i was not wrong direction of having a bf and we recently broke up and i realized that how wrong i was and i am really happy to see all what you told and gave me a hope for being back to a good girl

Thank you very much

sanna 5 months ago

saalam

i completed my secondary school and went back to pakistan to learn about islam , but before i went back and i came in contact with my old classmate and he gave me his number .i was in pakistan i didnt have anything much to do at all so i texted him and after coming from holy school i started to text him everyday ,we texted eachother for eight months after i came to HK he asked me to meet him i went to meet him and he told me his feelings for me , i didnt want to hurt him n accepted his proposal .well i asked if he will really marry me, he said YES ,,after that we started to meet often ... we came really close to eachother but than one day we met and we weren`t getting well together so i asked him do you think that i would come here with any other guy ? and he replied YES ... i was badly hurt . i left the place at once , he did say that he is kidding but i was badly hurt and shocked so i was texting well with him so on the very next day he broke up with me , i did try to stop him but he didnt listen , i cried alot but he said he doesnt have feelings left ..its going to be 2 months now and i realized that i really love him and had bit physical relationship ,, im really confused should i try to bring everything to normal or i shall just let go ??

i need advices ? please help me out of this puzzle

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Sanna

I think you should pray to Allah for forgiveness n let it go. By getting physical with this boy u have committed a wrong, bcos Allah told us to guard ourselves against such temptations. If this boy is genuine he will come to you with the proposal, if not he just wasted you time.

The feelings you have may not be love, but some other feelings like your determination to have him bcos he is rejecting u now. Because to love someone you also have to feel some respect for them. You cannot respect someone who has used you.

To be in love with someone doesnt require physical contact. Please everyone do not make yourself that available.

sanna 5 months ago

Thank you Very Much Emma for helping me out because from the past 2 months i was just crying for why did i let him come close i thought he really cares for me but i didnt realize when i took the wrong step ,, thank you Emma , may god bless you

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Sanna

Dont blame yourself for letting him get close to you, just pray to Allah for forgiveness and move on. The worse thing you can do now is blame yourself for everything.Seek help in Allah from all evils and tests and pull yourself together. Some pople say this is a dark age, we human beings are losing our virtues and we are often forced by society and our own desires to take the wrong path.

Allah is ever so merciful and forgiving and Allah wants us pray to Him for forgiveness. Put yourself in the care of the Almighty and move on. Dont waste time by crying and making yourself depressed, he is not worth it.Time to move on and as long as you keep faith as your guide and God as your protector and sustainer, nothing bad will happen to you.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Sanna

Dont blame yourself for letting him get close to you, just pray to Allah for forgiveness and move on. The worse thing you can do now is blame yourself for everything.Seek help in Allah from all evils and tests and pull yourself together. Some pople say this is a dark age, we human beings are losing our virtues and we are often forced by society and our own desires to take the wrong path.

Allah is ever so merciful and forgiving and Allah wants us pray to Him for forgiveness. Put yourself in the care of the Almighty and move on. Dont waste time by crying and making yourself depressed, he is not worth it.Time to move on and as long as you keep faith as your guide and God as your protector and sustainer, nothing bad will happen to you.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Noorkh

I am getting better, thanks. I hope you getting better as well. Getting in and out of depression is not a bad sign at all, it means you are getting better. Just make a conscious effort to keep your faith strong and leanr to love yourself and appreciate everything you have.

I realised that in the past few years my faith become very weak and almost non existent and as a result I suffered depression. A soul without the power of faith is like walking in complete darkness without any light. Strenghten it and you will see you will be able to acheive anything in life and depression will not get even close to you. Even if you cannot pray regularly still talk to Allah a few times a day, recite surahs or listen to them online with translation. Value your parents and show them that you care for their well being. Hope you dad is better now. Take care sweet sister.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Noorkh

I am getting better, thanks. I hope you getting better as well. Getting in and out of depression is not a bad sign at all, it means you are getting better. Just make a conscious effort to keep your faith strong and leanr to love yourself and appreciate everything you have.

I realised that in the past few years my faith become very weak and almost non existent and as a result I suffered depression. A soul without the power of faith is like walking in complete darkness without any light. Strenghten it and you will see you will be able to acheive anything in life and depression will not get even close to you. Even if you cannot pray regularly still talk to Allah a few times a day, recite surahs or listen to them online with translation. Value your parents and show them that you care for their well being. Hope you dad is better now. Take care sweet sister.

Sanna 5 months ago

Thank you very much, you have helped me alot by taking my out of the darkness, now im trying to get back to my studies which i wasnt get well with ,i didnt tell or let anybody know about my relationship with him so, will i have to tell my future husband about him ??

Emma ,

my friend just came from pakistan and she likes someone but her parents are making her get marry with another man and my friend almost cries all the time and is always confuse for what should she do , she tried to tell her mother but her mother said i know you dont like him but you dont have to say it and whole her family knows that she doesnt like that guy and knows that he also isnt so happy cuz when my friend calls him ,he doesnt takes the call or reply her text but still no one is listening to her , should she try to tell her mother about the guy she likes ??

or she should just do what her family is making her to do ??

lisha 5 months ago

i relly need help my ex of 5 years left a couple of weeks ago because his fmily dont aagree i was going to tell my family soon i been depressed crying all the time plz do duaa for me xx

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Sanna

You did the right thing by not telling anyone about your relationship. I would say take one step at a time, right now focus on your studies and pray to Allah to keep you on the right path and to keep your focus on your studies and also pray for mercy and forgiveness.

As to whether you should tell your future husabnd about it is a different matter.The reason why we should not have any intimate relationship with someone out side marriage is this: Allah has granted us our body and we should respect it and honour it.If someone loves you and wants to get close to you than Allah said they should marry you and give you all the rights and respect that are associated with marriage.By disobeying Allah's command you have committed a sin and in my mind you should only ask for Allah's forgiveness. Considering that you were not married to anyone at the time of that incident, I would say do not say anything to you future husband about it.

As for your friend if she really doesnt like the guy, she should not marry him. I think she could tell her mum that the person they are trying to marry her off to also not happy with the marriage as he doesnt return her calls. I think it might not be a good idea to tell her family about the other person because it might make them even more determined to marry her to this guy. If she is young she could buy time by saying that she wants to get to know this guy b4 she marries him and then do something about it. At the momemt tell her to stay calm and make her mum understand that she really has to know the person she is marrying, it will give her the time which she needs to deal with the problem. If things get really bad than tell her to seek help from various organisations dealing with domestic violence and forced marriages. Forcing someone into a marriage is a crime in islam as well. take care

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Lisha

You can do dua in any language, use your own words and Allah will understand it. If someone can turn their back on you after 5 years, what can you really do other than try to minimise your damage? If his family doesnt want him to marry you, since he has been seing you for so many years, he could go against their decision and marry you and give his family time to come to accept you.

As you have not mentioned any specific facts, I am unable to say more.

lisha 5 months ago

he told me i have now left hi to it but i am facing alot of problems myself i cant cope with all this break up. i did beg plead thinking he will turn but he stood his ground he loves me ino we have our ups and downs but i want him in my life i am a mess i do dua for me to have stregth , we have broke a few times in the past but i we always was together if that makes sense, i am really happy that you have took the time to read and reply means alot , he hasnt got in touch i did leave him no choice after how i went on bugging him now iv not got in touch for 2weeks ,

zahra 5 months ago

Assalammualaikum all, im zahra (not real name) from indonesia, hubby from malaysia but he raise and lived in UK. we married october 2010 and lived as husband and wife only around 8 days, then he have to go back to UK after nikah, in September 2011 he said he beleive we should be apart, my heart feels stop, my future look blank. before that he always said .. we are strong husband and wife and we will be strong no matter what. but now ... look what he have done to me. my parents in law arrange a meeting for me to come to Uk to discuss about this issues and find the solution, i feel i dont have pride if i come, but father in law said ... now hubby jobless so he cant come to Indonesia. yesterday i text hubby on whatsup " ... im still ur wife, its already my responsibility to remind you to do istikharah regarding our marriage problem, i will accept everything even it worst for me, i marry u just because allah, means i will ikhlas for everything, Allah knows best, insya Allah we will meet soon, and discuss everything. we start this marriage in a good way, if you want to ended lets ended in a nice way. im happy when u happy. i will support ur best decision. take care, make do'a may Allah makes everything easier", and my hubby didnt reply my messages. father in law said ... hubby dont have feeling anymore to me. for me .. my hubby always try to blame me, he always finds excuses. all: Should i come to UK? or should i ask him for giving me talak. why most man hurt woman to much?

Iffirdous: ur story very similar like me ... insya Allah i will read doa that u suggest, may Allah makes strong my heart to face it everything.

Please pray for me, and may Allah SWT give his bless and love to us-woman whos being hurt by men.

Love u all just for the sake of Allah.

Sanna 5 months ago

when i see myself going to past i just pray and ask for forgivness from Allah and read what your replys again and again to make me strong ..

He messaged me to wish birthday and i didnt know he will ever msg me again but he did and i replied but after the reply im feeling weak

is there any dua which can makes me strong by heart

Sanna 5 months ago

when i see myself going to past i just pray and ask for forgivness from Allah and read what your replys again and again to make me strong ..

He messaged me to wish birthday and i didnt know he will ever msg me again but he did and i replied but after the reply im feeling weak

is there any dua which can makes me strong by heart

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Lisha

I think you need to sort out your own emotional problems and during thisd time do not think about your ex. Dont blame yourself, just try to become stronger bcos otherwise your problem will get worse. The best way to resolve emotional problem is to ask Allah to free you from emotions and relationship that are unhealthy. In order to be valued and loved you need to learn to love and value yourself first. Be content with yourself and be greatful to Allah for everything you have. Once you do that you will realise that you do not need another person to complete you, you are complete as you are.You will then get whatever or whoever you want in your life. Its a long and repetitive process and you need the determination to attain this.

Start with imagining and syaing to urself that everything is just fine, eventhough it is not. Also remind urself that your life here on earth is for a very limited period of time and everything that is happening here is a test. Its a drama of the world, our real home is in the hereafter where there is no time, timeless eternity. If you read my earlier posts, I have mentioned a few steps and meditation that should one follow in order to regain their inner strenghts. Good luck

Emma 5 months ago

Dear sanna

Just remind urself how he played with ur emotions and said he thinks you would go out with anyone. He probably is just testing you by sending this birthday message. If he is a genuine guy he would marry you bcos he got close to u. He would think about ur honour n ur position. I do not know any specific dua but I would say use ur own words and ask Allah to give u strenghts and determination.

Dear Zahra

Since you are married to this guy I would say may be its worth a try to save ur marriage by coming to the UK. If nothing else happens at least you deserve as answer as to why ur husband has been acting like the way he is acting. If u find his parents are supportive of ur marriage and sympathetic then may be its better to involve them as well. May Allah help you in ur struggle.

Zarzour 5 months ago

What you wrote is very positive, I am also going through a divorce and I am convinced that God has better plans for me with a muslim wife( the wife i am divorcing from is not). I am praying to God so I cam raise my child in a muslim environment. Rabi yehdini , wa yeghfrinla , wa yaouina ahna wa oumat Mohamed, Amin.

Noorkh786 5 months ago

salaam Emma,

thanks for ur reply. Words that u are using about faith and all should be constantly reminded to me, since sumtimes i do feel at my lowest and then sumdays a lot better. Its a matter of taking one day at a time as I always try to remind myself, and Im trying to get back in track of praying more often, and have started to read the Quran more.

Alhamdulillah my dad is better too and I am keeping myself busy in routine things. Plz continue to take good care of urself and contniue to do wut ur doing here, ur a very sweet being as well :)

sanna 5 months ago

yes you are right he was testing me cuz he replied me tc only so i didnt reply him , alhumdulilah im soon going to get the job , thanks for helping me so much

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Noorkh

Faith gives us inner strenghts and saves us from hopelssness which is the main cause of depression. It also saves us from corruption and other social evils.

Take notes and remind yourself everytime you feel depressed or weak. Spiritual journey or cleansing our inner selves is a very repetative process of the thoughts or deeds which seems obvious and yet we overlook or forget them al the time. Hope soon you will completely overcome depression. Take care

Dear Sanna

Same goes for u as well. Take notes and continously check urself, your thoughts and feelings. Strenghten you faith in Allah. Stay in touch and take care.

To all the sisters and bropthers:

We all shall pray for the world as well. Allah said whoever shows mercy to his creation He will have mercy for them.

mushrif 5 months ago

msahallah im happy for u......its all allah mercy ....allah loves u alot

anonymus12321 5 months ago

my ex husband was very abusive, mentally, physically and emotionally - i have two boys from him...he was the first and last man i have ever known for the past 23 years - i am 49 years old. my ex is getting married now, why is it hurting me to an extent that i dont want to do any household chores or meet friends?? please help me get over it

lisha 5 months ago

hi emma it me again im just scared he might get married to who his mums says iv lost all hope, the y have one daughter in law in there house but now is moving out and its making me think they want some one to look after there family but i just feel like my life ruined due to them why its 5 years

Emma 5 months ago

@ anonyus

You probably are hurting becos you realised that despite being abusive and horrible he is getting a partner and u r all alone to pick the pieces. You need to bring ur focus back on urself, ur life is not about ur ex, its all about u. Its up to u now rebuild ur life again and be happy and u can do it. To start with think about something that would make u feel better, go for a face massage and head massage, relax and trust the beautician to do a good job. Do something to close the chapetr with ur ex, e.g. tear up his photo or get rid of all items that belong to him. Cry if u like, write about ur experience with him and close the whole thing by accepting that its all over and also say to urself that ur now setting urself free from this abusive relationship.

Listen to guided mediation to build self esteen and stay in remembrance of Allah. Talk to Him, seek help in Him and remind urself that this life is very short. Stay away from those people who say anythings about ur ex or give u info on his marriage etc. Good luck. If someday u find a good man and marry him u will have my full support. I want to see women like urself finding good husband and living happily just like ur ex husband, who jumped out of a marriage 23 years later and still gets a second wife.

Dear Lisha

U cannot live in fear, thats bad for u. If ur bf is not talking to u then there is very little u can do. If u both have a trustworthy mutual friend then tell them to have a word with him. I would say ur life has not been ruined, u just need to learn to look after urself. Take care

A muslim brother 5 months ago

Surah Baqrah : Once everyday for 12 days

Surah yasin : 40 times at any one day in a week

Namaz-e-Salatul Tazbi : On every Thursday

Surah Kahf : Every Friday

Ya allah Ya rahman Ya rahim- 1200 times daily Durood-e-Shareef before and after - 1200 times

Ya allah hu ya salaamu – 1000 times everyday. 11 times Durood-e-shareef before and after.

Ya musabab ul asbab - 100 times daily

Durood-e-shareef – All day and night whenever possible

Dear brothers and sisters...

The above quoted words, I think haven't got any proof in Sunnah..if so please let me know..if it's not dat's a bid'a

Even if u feel nice in doin that, it's a bid'a

So please get away from bid'a n look in to Quran and Sunnah! Jazakallah khairn

Emma 5 months ago

Would it be bidah to read the quran in a specific order in order to acheive a specific goal?

anonymus12321 5 months ago

emma

i appreciate your comments. I am trying hard but it still hurts. not too long ago i lost my job too. now i am on umemployment and working an odd job at the same time. i forgot to mention that while i was married to my ex, all i did was take care of his needs and the kids and while doing so, about 10 years ago i fell down the stairs a couple of times and ended up having problem with my knee, now the doctors are saying i need knee replacement surgery. i am afraid, very afraid. how the kids will survive if i do go for surgery because there is a long recovery period after the surgery. it seems like whatever could go wrong it did. i want to put my life back on track. what would you do in my situation. its easy to say go to a beauty parlor but i think if i didnt go i could use the same money to get food on the table for the kids. also i must mention that i was married to an egyptian muslim who deserted us after 23 years to get married to another egyptian. i am asian and i converted to Islam before i got married to him. its more complicated now right??? please advise.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear anonymus

I dont know what I would have done if I was in your situation. But I would say if you want to feel better and get things under control then u need to start working on urself. I mentioned massage bcos it has healing capacity, if u cannot afford it,do something thats going to make u calm and relax. If u meditate, which I do when I feel sad, u will get even better benefits.It might help u if u break the old pattern slightly. There is a saying "u cannot change the world but u can change urself."

I am advising u to the best of my ability and on the basis of my own understanding and knowledge of the subject matter. You are not obliged to follow it. However, the aim of my advice is to empower you and empowerment only comes when we focus on ourselves and learn to be positive even in the most difficult situation. Its not an easy task, it requires regular pratice patience and dedication, and most importantly a calm and stable mind. When we are in pain we are hardly calm or stable, so need to divert our mind from the pain by doing different hings.

U r free to disagree with me but I would say avoid seeing urself as a victim bcos thsi makes a person weak and in my expereicne people who think they are a victim find it extremely difficult to pull themselves out of depression or bad situation. Instead think about it as a test and seek help in Allah. May Allah help you.

sanna 5 months ago

im trying to get out of the mess but am feeling it really hard because i went to apply for a school and going bk home i saw my ex ,but i already apply for the school and the friends who were going to enter the school along ,they havent pay and said they applied in school near their home ..but i already pay and i dont have guts to see him while i`ll be walking alone to the classes ..i tried to convince my parents to change my school but they said i shouldnt change my way for my friends ...im feeling it so hard

waiting4change 5 months ago

Assalaamu alaykum

I have decided to write all my frustrations about my ex and his family and just the way things are in general! Don't be offended hope u learn from it. If enough good people stand up the bad ones will hide and show themselves

I've been a secret reader, checking everyday for updates on ur lives hoping for a happy ending. I guess life is full of unhappiness, it would be nice to find happiness. I pray, I've prayed all my life. You know what I'd pray for. Since I could talk(age2) and read(4) I would pray for the world. I would pray for the end of status. I thought the smarter people got, and the more cool inventions or scientific findings we had, it would lead to people having better lives. I thought this whole system was set up to make it easier to live the way Allah said we should. But u know what has happened? These things, material possessions, have made the world an even more dangerous place. We don't need to put soldiers on the ground we can just press a button and wipe out a whole country! We do not need to jeer people in their face we can just make a web page of hate! This is not religion, who are u kidding? "The believers are brothers, so make peace between your brothers and be mindful of Allah. So that YOU may be given Mercy"

If you make urself judge and jury, u surely will be judged that way as well! To anyone who reads this that practices culture b4 religion, I tell you now ur wrong! Culture is a way of doing things that a group (big or small)have accepted as "normal". If this includes saying one muslim is not as good as another muslim! Let me tell u ur wrong! Are we pakistani or arab first or Muslims First? Which in Allahs eyes will be worth more? Are there 3 Gods? One that makes brown people, one that makes black and one that makes in-between?? if your answer is no then how dare anyone think they are better then another of Allah's creations! You don't refuse a gift from a loved one as u don't want to hurt their feelings, but are willing to kill and start wars with people Allah has put here. Is it not a sin to kill yourself?? How dare u think it is okay to take a life the One God has put on this earth! U say it is his name, but how can children sin when they r taught their ways by you?? When will they learn? Uve given them ur words and people to use as examples and still they hate each other. They even discriminate against their own! Muhammad(pbuh) said all Muslims are equal, was there addendum's attached I have not seen? In saudi converts are treated like less of a muslim, I have heard it here too, why don't u find a convert to marry?!? What? Just because I choose to be muslim at age 6 I am a convert? I was born in america are muslims not born in America anymore? Would it matter if I look american but were born in pakistan? Would u still say I was less? What makes someone born into a religion a better muslim? They still have to choose it don't they? God has said if u put on a show I will know, in other words if u are praying in arabic but do not understand a word u are saying does it count? How can u mean something u don't even understand? I think our purpose of being put on this earth was a test to see what generation can do what others have not been able to do b4 us! Get Along! And we still have not been able to get over outward appearances, and different smells or whatever else makes people decide to play God! When, when will it change! I'm not buying it when people say they do something in Gods name, when u hurt others, when u kill, when u take it upon urself to be judge and jury you are playing Allah. When u are the procuring cause of events wither u picked up the sword or not u will be held just as responsible! Was it worth it? was it worth ur own soul because u think u r better somehow then another human being, aka Allahs creation? No one but Allah own the earth, if we owned it we would be able to control it, and I would never have to see snow! And I'd be able to see the bottom of the ocean cause it would split apart when I pressed a button! Sounds ridicules well isn't endless killing of people sound stupid too? Doesn't saying u can date but only marry your own kind even though we r both Muslims?? Is their a right kind of muslim? is she brown, light what color eyes makes u the right Muslim?? The whole council of religious people fighting over how a muslim tv show comes portrays muslims is a waste of time! Start having meetings on how to end the division of Muslims! How to teach our people love instead of hate! How to get along w everyone despite their looks or thoughts! We only want be judged for ourselves, so why waste ur time on judging others! Muhammad married widows and had an older wife does that not break all these stereo types of culture dis owning people because a guy has to be arranged in a marriage to get to know the girl, once he takes what he wants he decides this is not right for him after all?

Maybe if people got to love each other and were watched carefully they would cherish each other! Yes divorce rates are high doesn't that tell us we r doing something wrong? Maybe if u didn't have to fight the whole family cause ur love has lighter skin then u but she's a Muslim maybe just maybe these people wouldn't just marry some poor unknowing girl and then abuse her and take out the anger he feels for his parents on her! Then the children grow up and the cycle starts over! I know one thing 100 percent each and every human has the same status in Allahs eyes, after all he put all of us here, and do u want to burn because u couldn't do the simplest thing? Wait its not so simple which is why it is the worst sin, because of people discrimination, so many people, children, babies have died, we've had the holocaust, crusades, bosnian war so on and so on yes there's greed involved as well but one big thing is they didn't see themselves the same way they saw the people they slaughtered. They just looked at them as homeless nothings. So yes discrimination is wrong! --This is my rant to my ex and his family and to anyone who thinks one muslim or human for that matter is less then themselves!

Noorkh786 5 months ago

@ Waiting for change: Amen sister, u did a great job writing this all and making others realize wut it is they need to realize sooner or later. I hope this msg gets to ur ex and his family, becuz in the end the truth always wins! InshAllah

Noorkh786 5 months ago

@ Emma:

These days its been really difficult. Depression is one of those things that you have to constantly fight or it can literally change so much in ur life. I have been feeling that way for the past week... I stopped talking to a friend of mine cuz I got so tired of hearing him brag abt his life and make me feel worst than I already do... I just ended my friendship which wasnt easy but at the same time is that wut friends do? no.

Its easy to say u have faith but it is not easy to act upon especially if uve had a number of trials. Im not gna always complain becuz there are ppl that have had more harsdships and Im still grateful to Allah for protecting me from evil and I hope he continues to and takes me outta this depression soon and changes my life and others lives as well over here.

It does take a lotta courage to get back on ur feet and start over again putting ur past behind u. I had a sequence of meeting asshole ppl excuse my french but thats how it was for me. I am so sick and tired, frustrated that Ive built all this negativity inside of me and have stopped believing. I come here to this hub to try to read and write to you guys so I can feel somewhat better and will start to write again in my journal which will make me feel better too.

Dua changes ppls lives and fate which I will continue to do... plz advise wut other surahs or duas u read to get rid of depression.

thanks,

halimat 5 months ago

i also pray mine work out the same way because it seems everyone i care about hate me even called me a witch which as far i know hapiness is what i want for everybody.even at time what right fully mine was never given which i dont question why it was not given because i believe allah owned me and he know what is good for me, am so happy for you , may allah continue his blessing on you and your family (amin)

bharati 5 months ago

I am having the prob of home i.e.flat was purchased jointly but my husband took loan so the flat is on my husband's name & our share is also high but now some people wants their share & some not.so we all decided to sell this flat & purchased 2 flats but I dont know any how this prob is not going to solve . And above this so many conclusions misunderstanding & all in our family. so please see my horoscop & tell me the reason.

emma 5 months ago

thank you very much for your time. i understand completely what you are trying to say. it just so happened that my son who is twenty years old is back from college for a month. when he saw me the way i looked, he got very upset and almost yelled at me for not taking care of myself. he got so upset with me that he left the house for an hour. he was upset that i was still thinking about his dad, a father who was never there for the kids. he tried putting sense into me but i got emotional and cried. and thats when he decided to go out for a breath of fresh air. upon his return he said the same things that you wrote, that i should find some way to distract myself from everything. go yoga, do some volunteer work or whatever else i like to do instead of staying home and thinking about why his father did what he did. i promised him and i promise you as well that i will take it one step at a time and try my level best to rise above the situation. Hopefully i will change myself for good in this coming year.... if i couldnt do it, i will still let you know. thank you Emma very much for your comforting words and advice.

May God Bless you and your family. Happy holidays.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear waiting 4 change

I can understand ur frustration. Hypocrisy, double standard and descrimination also drive me mad. But do not worry Allah said hypocrits will face severe punishment from Allah. As far as earthly matters are concerned they often meet their match and get to taste their own medicine.

If soemone is abusing you then I would say ask them to show you how are they better then you and when fail to give reasons based on established principles then tell them to shut up. Anyone who is genuinely good and worthy of respect, doesnt feel the need to lower someone else in order to make themselves big. Its the unworthy who alwyas feels that they have to keep some people below them. People like that have no self respect and they are really bad, they have no equals, they are either under your feet or you are under theirs.

I hope things do get better for you. Allah has created us all, He loves us all and He alone will decide who is a good muslim and a good human being.

p.s. people who converted to Islam I hear all their past sins are forgiven and they start with a clean slate.I think they also get rewards for choosing Islam.

Emma 5 months ago

@ Sanna

May be tell you mum that a boy, without mentioning his name, who used to give u hassel is going to the same school. You want to go to a school near ur home. If u ask the school to give u refund, they might give the full refund.

@Noorkh

Faith is the solution to ur problem, acting upon it will require more practice and dedication. I listen to surah Yaasin, Baqara, Lectures etc and try to stay in remembrance of Allah and the Day of Judgement. I have now realised that we all are on the same boat, i.e. we all are at the mercy of Allah and passing a short time here on earth, so no point in hating anyone.

The other day someone said to me that if you experiencing the same problem with different people then there must be something within u that needs changing. They say watch ur own actions and evaluate them as a detached observer. take care and listen to the link below.

@anonymus

may Allah help u, be strong if not for ur own sake for ur sons.

Emma 5 months ago

http://youtu.be/ww9ORhhrGyA

http://youtu.be/aXkFKF73l4Y

emma 5 months ago

thank you very much. please keep me in your prayers.

Emma 5 months ago

Who is this?

Noorkh786 5 months ago

Thanks Emma for ur advice. I dont feel too good and Im trying to work on myself as best I can...

Theres not much I can do but to go thru all this and try to be strong. I have given up on a lot. Its like I dnt wanna ask God for anything. Im sick of things.... I sumtimes wish He would take me back then test me, cuz im not that strong anymore.

Plz keep me in ur duas sister.... thats all I can ask for.

thanks.

Emma 5 months ago

You are always in my prayers sisters, may Allah give a all a break from sorrow, which He has promised. Here is something from Brahma kumaris.

Brahma Kumaris

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

The No Complaining Rule

Complaining just wrecks the mood and motivation for ourselves and others.

...

So, today, practice the 'No Complaining Rule'. Even if you're having a really bad day, put things into perspective. Look for the silver lining on the cloud. Live in a state of appreciation.

Appreciate at least one thing about each person you meet. Appreciate all that life has to offer, whether it's the chance to breathe in the fresh air or watch the sunset during your commute home. Aprreciate all the little events you take for granted.

In Spiritual Service,

Brahma Kumaris....See more

naheed 5 months ago

i married a muslim guy from egypt about 25 years ago. He constantly was having affairs with women outside of our marriage and finally he left me for another woman leaving behind his two kids. he was abusive to me mentally, physically and emotionally. even when we were in bed together, he would get angry with me and stop in the middle. my kids, two boys, they were very close to me all this time until now. ever since they grew up they have stopped respecting me. i give them everything, food before they are hungry, money before they even ask me for it, unconditional love - everything - but i feel they dont feel anything for me at all. all the hardships that i went through while raising them, i mean they pretty much witnessed everything, getting abused by my husband and all other things. why is it that when they are talking to their father, which is once in a while, they talk with utmost respect and listen to him and obey him. but when it comes to me, they answer back and disrespect me. i havent been on vacation for the last 15 years, yet i send them away with friends everywhere they want to go even if i have to take money out of my credit cards. now i am in so much debt. they recently both started working but all they do with their money is buy brand name clothes. not once did they ask me if i needed anything or just give me the money for no reason at all. i dont want their money...but what about respecti ng their mom, what about feelings for her. i am still paying their bills, their college tuition and all other expenses. WHERE DID I GO WRONG? how should i deal with this situation. i can not make them feel for me, it has to come from within. All my life, since i was 22 i have been abused by my ex-husband, and now the verbal abuse (they dont curse or anything like that) from the kids. they just answer back with cold heart like i am not their mother. just today's incident, my older son said that his dad called him a few times, and that he wanted to call him back. all i said to my son was "dont give him any details of your life or mine" dont tell him you were looking for a job and you found one" to this, my son replied "oh my god mom, i was in such a good mood, you just ruined my day by saying that. just go out of the room and leave me alone.....i had tears in my eyes. i said to him" you shouldnt talk to your mother this way or dont talk to me at all...he said "ok i wont talk to you at all - i dont know why i came back from college to visit you...

i was so happy that he was coming from college to stay with us for a month. and now he is saying that he shouldnt have come back from college at all...

what did i do wrong? i never deserted them, never made boyfriends or man friends, just went to work, came home, took care of them...they were and are still the center of my universe. but it really hurts to hear them talk like this. their father never had anything to do with them, just the phone calls and a few visits every couple of months. i am completely heartbroken today.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear Naheed

I am so sorry to hear about ur troubles. Please do not blame urself, u did no wrong to ur sons or ur ex, the only person u wroned is urself.

I know u r hurting right now, but its ur wake up call. It means one thing and thats its time for u to learn to love urself and respect urself. Ur first duty is to urself, bcos if u dont respect urself than no one will, including ur sons.

Ur sons grew up seing u being pushed around and abused and they come to accept it and they took their father as a person with authority and thats why they respect him. But dont take it to ur heart, its time to regain ur own power and u will get respect too. Until u sort urself out ur sons will also take u for granted and hurt u. Sadly thats the reality of this world.

I would post a few links pls watch them and follow the meditations on regular basis to calm ur mind and them start working with urself, seek help in Allah, but u have to try the techniques. i would say do not talk to ur son nor show him any anger or upset. Stay in a positive frame of mind and do something for urself, i.e. buy new clothes or soemthing. Never cry in front of him. When he talks to u nicely tell him calmly, without blaming,that he has hurt u b4. If he gets upset or angry just walk away without showing any anger or saying anything. Cut down ur communication for the time being, until u r strong. Dont give them anyhting unless they ask for it and since they got jobs they should pay for their education b4 buying brands. Also unless u let of ur ex u will not be able to get ur life back. by talking about him and getting upset over the past and his marriage u r still letting that man run ur life and push u around. So put him behind u. U might say its easy saying than done, but thats the only way.

They way to regain ur inner strengths will require u to do the followings: Meditate by saying this

1. Accpet u r a soul, not the body. Ur original qualities are peace, love and happiness.

2. Detach urself from the worldly matters: U r here for a short time, ur real home is in the hereafter. So u r not attach to anyone or anything, including ur body. The sorrow u face is nothing more than a drama of this world, which only affect u at the surface level.When u close ur eyes u r in touch with ur original qualities, which is nothing but happiness.

3. Attach urself or connect urself with Allah. Once u have detached urself from the sorrow and the body ur mind will bcome calm and relaxed, allowing u to focus without disturbance with the Almighty.

follow these and u will see result. Remember ur life is all about u like the hereafter. Talk to urself with love and kindness, like ur mother or friend would talk to u and forgive urself. Try to get in touch with Brahma kumaris in where ever u live, they are very good at helping people to get back self respect back. May the Almighty help. see the links bellow

Emma 5 months ago

http://youtu.be/ALAjPJRlLrM

http://youtu.be/tnaJ60pObao

http://youtu.be/-7d1bLA7huw

meditations

http://youtu.be/MJ88UkG5N64

http://youtu.be/KhG1qjc6jSw

zahara 5 months ago

assalamu

dear emma 5 months ago

thank you very much for your response. i want to be able to do what you wrote but i feel that my self esteem is so low at this point in life that everything feels impossible. do you know any organizations that help women start all over? i need someone next to me i feel, guiding me to do things to start with until i am on my own. i feel i wont be able to do anything on my own. i am already completely broken, my feelings are all over the place, i dont want to do something wrong to myself. yesterday i wished i was dead. i feel hopeless - i need help.

naheed 5 months ago

emma

the above message is from me, naheed.

Emma 5 months ago

Brahma kumaris have been helping people like u. They have their centres in more 120 countries, check their website and contact them. They do counselling as well as courses. Check the u tube links I posted for u, listen to them n u will feel better. take care

Sanni 5 months ago

Somehow reading all this makes me feel better and put my faith in Allah. Im sure everything will work out and dua can change my kismet. The saddest thing is that the reason behind my stress and all troubles in not an outsider but my very own father and mother. Hes the typical man who thinks women have no rights whatsoever and wants to control everyone and everything. I am an educated and open minded girl who knows what she deserves and at this age in my life it has become impossible for me to tolerate the conservative behavior. I sometimes think of ways i could just get away from them for good. But since im a girl everyone expects the respectful and obedient behavior from me. I have spent so many years hoping it would all be alright someday. All i can do is hope and pray to Allah swt.

Sanni 5 months ago

Somehow reading all this makes me feel better and put my faith in Allah. Im sure everything will work out and dua can change my kismet. The saddest thing is that the reason behind my stress and all troubles in not an outsider but my very own father and mother. Hes the typical man who thinks women have no rights whatsoever and wants to control everyone and everything. I am an educated and open minded girl who knows what she deserves and at this age in my life it has become impossible for me to tolerate the conservative behavior. I sometimes think of ways i could just get away from them for good. But since im a girl everyone expects the respectful and obedient behavior from me. I have spent so many years hoping it would all be alright someday. All i can do is hope and pray to Allah swt.

Emma 5 months ago

Increasing Faith in Difficult Times

http://youtu.be/lYcGZymXmO0

waiting4change 5 months ago

This is my prayer.

Dear Allah,

Why is it everywhere all I see is chaos? No respect or love for fellow people? I mean all people? Did you not create us all equal? Do you not love even the sinner? Do you not give every man and women unconditional love, and forgiveness? If you can do it why can we not? Why do some races look down on others just because they look different? Is this the right way? Did you choose some of us to be cast out, and in constant turmoil? Or is it maybe our mission to use that experience to make people change, I mean when I work on my business just because I find a way that gets the job done, does not mean it can't be perfected to do get it done better. But how? How can I, one person in this huge world make a difference? How can I make people see it is their own fear of change, fear of being left out, fear of not being accepted, and fear perverting our morals that keeps us from living the life you want us to? How can I tell people that their minds, built in compassion, and deep down knowing right from wrong will safe guard them from becoming bad? How can I show people that telling the good from bad person would be easy if we listen? an example would be advocates of violence and people who condemn others based on where they where born, anyone who makes people believe war or revenge is what it takes to be in your graces is obviously not a good and honest person. You have told us not to kill and to love our brothers. Maybe people need to see the meaning behind it. Are we not all descendants of the same persons you put here first? The world is so big, we couldn't possibly know everyone, but do u not reward those who treat everyone fair and honest? Is there not always a better way to deal with things then taking the life we have no right too? Oh Allah please I beg you to give me power of mind to find the right words to touch peoples minds and give them that feeling of wow you are right, never thought of it that way. Give me the strength to not give up and overcome those who will speak against me, those are the ones who love material, and crave power and know if someone speaks the truth the right way, people will make sense of it and make change. It makes sense, leaders are paranoid, if they were good, honest, and in power with your blessings wouldn't their mind be at ease? When I explain things to people my mind is at ease. O Allah help me reach those who feel they are lost and fall prey to people who use their minds for their personal agenda. Every profit you ever put on this earth faced death, just for speaking truth, and sense. Are the people of this world not yet smart enough to see through the evil person who would condemn death just for speaking of respecting each other, and caring for each other? Is it not the evil doer who first suggest death for anyone who speaks against him? He is not you? so many people have died in vain, for personal agendas, Allah help me find the right way to reach into someone thoughts and show them your way. No agenda, no glory, just to save them from knowing the truth when it is too late to change the outcome. You scattered us and made us speak in different languages, because u had given us your will, and guidance and the power of free will. Was it not to test the truly faithful? Was it not to see if we were truly deserving of being in heaven? Is it not he who first smiles and wishes u a good journey, and then gives u his best walking shoes the best example of what you do for us? Is it not our job to see past what is in front of us and always do the right thing? Would it not be so much easier to point out the evil people? The murderers the thieves and so on? If evil people have the power to corrupt, I beg to have the power to show the truth. U say whoever fights for cause and in ur name u will take care of, a lot of bad people think that means killing and even killing in ur house. I think fighting in your name is speaking the truth, and making the evil doer see what he has done to affect the lives of people he never knew. How he has created class warfare, and discrimination. How he has made neighbors into enemies, by putting the wall of distrust up. How he has tricked the minds of young people into killing in your name when really it is out of revenge! How can anyone kill in your name when u have told us u will take care of the dis believers, and evil doers? When u have told us to love and show compassion even to people who do not believe the same as us? If u told us this then how can killing or hurting others in ur name make sense? O Allah, even some Masjid s have become places where personal agendas and fear of change has made it difficult to even help those in need. You have to go to a board, and only men rein over it, with their personal feelings and their own accounts for why adding help for even the abused is not necessary? Is it not the one place that anyone can go in need and be helped? Do they think they will be saved because in title the represent your house? The ones who refuse to look at the problems that hold us back from becoming a closer and more loving community towards each other are they not the worst? They may not be an abuser, but their choices affect the ones who have no where to go? When a woman is killed for no reason, if she could not even go to your place of prayer, shouldn't those who prevented the help be held responsible? For their ignorance when they know the best that they could help? But because of their own fear of rejection, and ridicule they chose to stop anyone from getting help? If they can do it better, then do it! Stop holding back! It is ur job as a person put in power to help anyone, to make people closer! To fix society so the evil doers will be seen. Allah help me to do your purpose. Help me succeed in making the world around me a safer and more accepting place. Then maybe it will spread and people will follow. And see it is all laid out, we just really need to read it.

Emma 5 months ago

Dear waiting 4 change

I do not really know what has caused you so much sorrow. However, on the subject of world politics I would say if u look beyond ur own experience u will see the hupocrisy of the powerful nations. Why indiscriminate killings Iraqis, Afghans or Palestani people is not a crime? Where in any religion has Allah ever said the lives of these people are less worthy than anyone else? Why the security of one race is more important that the lives and limbs of another race? Why some race get away with war crimes?

Plz dont get me wrong, there is no way I am saying that killing of any civilian, women and children are justified, regadless of their faith. Nor am I condoning the actions of the young men who are misguided and think they will get reward from Allah for killing His creation. All I am saying is this the hypocrisy and double standard of the world is causing so much evil on earth and people who are behind this greater evil are driven by nothing but GREED.

For my part I pray to Allah for world Peace and to remove the seal from people's hearts, eyes and years so that they may learn to do good deeds and do justice to themselves and others.

umarou sanda 5 months ago

i will like to no more of allah everyday in my liver

Abuahmad 5 months ago

If allah loves his servant, he put him to trials. Addunya sijnul muhmineen wa jannatul ka'afireen This world is a prison for the believers and heaven for the disbelievers. Alhadith

237

Whosoever desires (by his deeds) the reward of the Hereafter, We give him increase in his reward, and whosoever desires the reward of this world (by his deeds), We give him thereof (what is decreed for him), and he has no portion in the Hereafter. ((42:20) Alqur'an)

naheed 4 months ago

emma, as i had said that my kids disrespected me quite a few times already. i just wanted to ask you, should i let the kids go to see their father and his family? i am afraid they will brainwash my kids into disrespecting me even more and i might end up losing them. actually, i shouldnt say, "should i let them go" - they are big kids and will do what they want to but what should i do? its making me antsy just thinking about it that they will be spending time with his family...they are very typical egyptian people...they will definitely brainwash my kids slowly but surely. please advise. thank you emma for all your help so far.

ffatima 17 4 months ago

Salaam Naheed,

I had been reading your post, i can understand how depressing it can be for u wen ur kids are not behaving up to ur expectations. May Allah listen ur prayer and make ur kids hearts full of respect n love for u. Naheed I feel that u r strong n educated lady, u had been good mother...do not lose hope and trust in urself. U r a strong lady who raised the kids alone with out their father's support giving them good education, u r a working n self dependent lady, take care of urself n make ur self strong bcos the world will treat u the way u show ur self to the world, even after doing so much for the kids if u will show ur weaker self to them u will be disrespecting urself. Ur kids are urs n Inshaallah they will always be yours. As far as regrding their meeting with their father n his egyptian family, if ur kids do not meet them it wud be good but dont force them (kids) for anything, as u have mentioned that they r grown up. I know its difficult but try to stay calm, sometimes when we try our best still the things are not in our control, we rely on Allah n leave everything to him, he is our best gaurdien n will surely help us. sooner or later ur kids will realise what is good n bad for them and their mother's worth that is u.

I m not as experinced in life as u but i was really impressed the way u hav mentioned that u took care of ur kids education even ur husbend was not there but u had been strong enough to work n fulfill the needs of ur kids. With all my respect to u, i request u to take care of ur self first n love ur self understand ur worth.

Allah is always there for u, Inshaallah everything will be fine.

samia786 4 months ago

AOA Sister Maria, Emma and all!

I am having a difficult time right now! My husband is blackmailing me again with my past issues i had before i married him. He is threatning me, and my familiy all the time, and telling everyone about past issues and lying too. Please tell me a dua i can read to get rid of him easily! He wont give me divorce but forcing me to give him Khula so that he can tell the world that i am a bad person not him:( Please help me sister... mention some dua etc

AH.

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Naheed

I think u r right they might brainwash ur sons if they get the chance. I think for the time being u act cool and tell ur sons, (only if they insist on meet their father), that u have no issue with them meeting their father. However, right now u r trying to pull urself together and if they meet him and his new wife now, u feel u will lose ur will power to get back on ur feet. U need time to heal ur wounds and right now they are quite raw. Tell them that u r trying to get strong not for urself but for them, for the security and stability of the whole family. Tell them that u hope they understand and they are with u on this.

Dont cry when u talk to them, talk like a friend and listen to them carefully.

There is something else u could do. In islam its the father's duty to provide for his children. I think u can try and see if ur friends would to ask ur ex- to pay for ur sons education and maintenance.

As for the future, if u learn to love and respect urself and learn to be happy with urself, ur sons will not be brainwashed, no matter how much they try. Even if they get brainwashed and decide to live with their father u will not feel hurt at all, only if u work on urself. The whole point of empowerment is to set u free from all types of unhappiness. U will enjoy freedom, which u probably have never experienced before.

Once a girl called from her cell phone Brahma Kumaris sister Shivani from the roof top of her apartment, from which she was about to jump to her death. Shivani asked why she wathed to commit suicide, to which she replied her husband was having affair with someone in his office and was planning to leave her. Shivani asked her what she wanted, the girl said she wanted everything to be the way they were, b4 he started the affair. So Shivani said to the girl to imagine that everything was fine and her husband wasnt having the affair, even though nothing was fine. The girl took the advice and lived accordingly. Sometimes later Shivani called her to find out how she was doing. She said her husband went to America with the other girl and planning to get married there and he asked for a divorce, but she said that did not bother her anymore. She said she was fine with the whole thing, bcos she was happy with herself. Her husabnd married the other girl and after a short time he went back to India, divorced the other wife and went back to her. She accepted him back and now they have a little girl.

Take care of urself and make urself the most important person in ur life. Other things in life only matters if u r alive and sane enough to appreciate them. Take care

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Samia

Just play along, tell him to broadcaste everything he knows about u and tell him u r back to ur old ways, even though u r not. Confuse him, tell him u drink alcohol and also have started to take drugs and u live all by urself. Dont let him think u r scared.

Emma 4 months ago

Black magic etc are haram, forbidden. If u believe someone has done that to u plz read surah Falak and Nas with translation, nothing bad will happen to u. Have faith in the Almighty.

samia786 4 months ago

Dear Sister Emma

If i say that it will affect my parents, and he will tell people that i said that too, even though i havent done anything bad now. I am much better alhamdullilah, but he is again trying to messing up my mind and destroying me inside/out!

Is there any dua i can read to get rid of him and make him to stop blackmailing me and my familiy?

I mean i do care about him, but he is really rude and mean towards me and my familiy.

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Samia

Ur weakness is his strenghts, he thinks u will be devostated if he tells things about u to people. U probably are right, he might cause harm to ur parents by telling people things about u.

What does he want?

I do not know any specific dua. Just learn to overcome this fear and completely detach urself from this guy. Fears eat us alive, he knows ur weakness and thats why he is playing with it. If he cared about u all he needed to do is apologise, but instead he is trying to destroy u. If possible put him behind u.

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Samia

Ur weakness is his strenghts, he thinks u will be devostated if he tells things about u to people. U probably are right, he might cause harm to ur parents by telling people things about u.

What does he want?

I do not know any specific dua. Just learn to overcome this fear and completely detach urself from this guy. Fears eat us alive, he knows ur weakness and thats why he is playing with it. If he cared about u all he needed to do is apologise, but instead he is trying to destroy u. If possible put him behind u.

Emma 4 months ago

These surahs are so amazingly poetic and powerful.

http://youtu.be/a77YrcF3QNg

lisha 4 months ago

hi emma i have seen my ex this week he was broke he said he loves me but i no he chose to listen to his mum i am broke again after seeing him he was crying i just dont no what to do he is confused any advise i do due to remove all the stress away im just losing hope in everyhting . he tells me he loves me and loves everything about me why is it so hard for us to be then ..x

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Lisha

Well in that case u ask him whether he will be able to tell his mum about u and marry u. Set a boundary and stick to it, plz dont get too close.

The confusion will go away once he makes a decision and sticks to it, no matter what obstacle comes his way.Make ur faith stronger, dont lose hope and Allah will make things easier for u.

SHAHZEB 4 months ago

AOA, I CAN,T UNDERSTAND WHAT WILL DO IN MY LIFE,I AM NOT STAND ON ONE DICISION,I AM VERY MCH CONFUSE,WHAT WILL I DO,

Kiran 4 months ago

Dear Kiran,

I am in a such big trouble.

Please Help Me Allah!

How C

Emma 4 months ago

Dear sisters

Some of you asked me if I knew any specific dua to read when u are in sorrow or distress. There is dua, I hope u will find it helpful.

?????????? ?????????? ??????? ????? ????????? ????? ??????? ???????? ?????? ?????????? ??? ??????? ??????? ??? ?????? ????? ??????

Allahumma rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘aynin wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu la ilaha ila anta

O Allah, it is Your mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye, and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshiped except You.

Abdul Rahman Arif 4 months ago

As-salaamualaikum Warahmatullaahi Wabarakaatuh,

I feel Very Very happy for you Sis. Though I'm a brother and i can't imagine how those days must have been for you. ALLAH ! The night you supplicated in Ramazan and you woke up getting the news of Divorce, it means that ALLAH started solving your problems from that time.

JazakALLAH Khair for sharing such a motivational true story of yours. May ALLAH Always keep you and your family happy in this world and in the hereafter. Ameen

lisha 4 months ago

hi emma its me again he is back with me but im trying to be strong he is saying that me and him should go away i dont want to make a big mistake in doing such thing ,, he went out and drank with his mates he said he would never do it again i dont want haraam in my life i just think would he ever change he says im everything to him and his parents made him stres so much he relised he loves me and cnt be with out me but i just think loads

naheed 4 months ago

emma, ffatima 17

when i look in the mirror, i see someone fat. i am atleast 20 pounds overweight. when i go shopping, nothing looks good on me because everything thats beautiful does not come in my size. i wear size 12-14. i have been abused for so long that i feel ugly. my husband always used to tell me "you belong under my shoe" i heard it for almost 20 years. now its very hard for me to start looking at myself as if i was attractive or good looking. i dont know how to get back the self esteem that i have lost. i am very conscious of my body. i think no other man would ever look at me, let alone my body. i always look at myself and see that my body is not the same. because i breast fed, i feel shy to look at my own breasts hanging. i am sorry to write it but its true. my body has lost its shape. i have pain in my knees, my shoulders for have worked non-stop all these years, carrying heavy groceries, strollers, going to work, comeback home to work. constant wear and tear is killing me now. its surprising how one man can do so much damage to a woman who was once self confident. i have held prestigious jobs working at NASA. but just because i fell in love with someone who abused me all my life, i have lost it all. sometimes i feel like i should just jump from a bridge or kill myself and be done with it.

Noorkh786 4 months ago

Dear Naheed,

I feel very sad to hear another human being let alone a muslim sister writing this. Im vry sorry u have to go thru this and I can relate since i lost so much of my self esteem too being in an abusive relationship at a very young age. I think ur doing a good job talking this out rather than keeping it inside and hurting urself more. I can understand how hard it is to gain ur self confidence but u gotta be strong rite? Strong for urself since u only have one life to live and no one deserves to go thru this abuse. I never did anything wrong to my ex husband or his family yet i was still physically, emotionally abused by them. It definitely affected to me to the point where I lost my self esteem, dnt feel confident anymre... and I guess itll take sum time to regain that, since ive started too.

Please take care of urself. If ur ex doesnt care about u, u dont give a damn abt him either. U r not a doormat to be treated the way he treated u and trust me if sumone is rude to another human being Allah will take care of them, and also Allah does count the tears a women cries... and that person will be asked y he did wut he did on the day of judgement.

Ive gone thru my fair share of shiii but then again u gotta come outta this. ITs hard in the beginning but if other ppl can im sure u can too iA. Please take care of urself and i woudl recommend u seek help thru therapy so u can work on ur self-esteem, talking things out, working on urself.

Noorkh786 4 months ago

Dear Emma,

Thanks for sharing that information u posted thru brahma Kumaris... Its been one tough tough week for me and I think this may be the turning point in my life for change. Im sik and tired of bein this way, being treated by my ex the way he treats me and I will try my very best to change many things in my life.

I guess certain things do happen so we learn and grow and become a better person from it. I met my ex bf 2 days ago and I guess bad habits dnt change that easily from anyone. I dnt wish anything bad for him since hes helped me during my tough times but all I can say is that I need to overcome this depression and my old habits that have made me so difficult on my own self.

Thanks again for all ur useful postings and I look forward to referring to them soon :)

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Lisha

I think u need to think very deeply about this whole thing. U dont only have family issues, u also will have alcohol related issues too.

I think if u focus on ur self and studies then u have no worries, u will know what to do. But if u make him ur focus then u may end up ruining ur own life.

Dead Naheed

Remember at the beginning I said plz bring ur focus back on urself and accepet urself as a soul. Who u r? U r a soul, not the body. This soul has its own perpose in life, independent of anyone or anything else. Amongst other qualities, peace, love, respect, happiness and contentments are the primamry virtues that u were born with. These virtues u have forgotten, bcos, like myself and others, u have come to know the material world, as a result u no longer identify urself as a soul.

In search of happiness, like all of us, u have looked outside u. U tried to please a man who had nothing good to return, now trying to find comfort in ur sons. They may understand ur pain and comfort u or may not. If u dont lose them to their father, u may lose them to their wives. So where is any happiness for u?

Well tap in to ur own self. Meditate twice a day, remind urself that u r not this body, i.e. detach urself from this material world. As u remind urself about ur original qualities, u r mind will become more stable and when u r calm try to connect with Allah and ask Him to pull u out of the sorrow. The aim of the meditation is to detach urself from body consciousness and connect u with the devine. The more u do the better u will feel and then there will come a point when u will feel u need no one else in ur life to make u happy. U will be happy regardless. U will feel free.

Once u r happy with urself u will look better, sleep better and will attract healthy relationship. Other people only give us respect when we learn to respect ourselves. Dont even mention ur past, let it go and set urself free by making urself ur priority. The abuse that u have suffered will be useful to u on the day of judgement. Just look at ur past as a test from Allah.

U have done well in the past and u can do it again.

Dear Noorkh

May be in ur mind or on a piece of paper just say thanks to ur ex for all his support and close the chapter. This will help u to move on.

sireesha 4 months ago

very very happy for u...

u should see more and more happiness in Ur life.

love u god........

Lee 4 months ago

Alhamdulillah,

Very touching and inspiring!

Hope you would continue to remember Allah's favor and thank him regularly!

May Allah bless you and your family.

Salaam

Zahrotul Jannah 4 months ago

Samia ... ur story very similar like mine, make do'a a lot to Allah, may Allah soften his heart to say the truth, if he best for you .. then let Allah give it back him to u in a nice way, if he bad for you .. ask Allah to show the way, "tell him .. what exactly do you want? decision is in ur hand ... i marry you just because Allah .. thats why i will iklas for everything (Allah knows best), im happy when u happy, we start this marriage in a good way, if you want to ended .. lets ended in a nice way. also tell him to do istikharah first before he decide .. All the best for you hubby .. i will granted everything you want, take care.". dont cry in front of him .. show to him that u are wise and good woman .. say everything in a good way. *take care my dear sist ... hope everything going good with you and all family. Amien ya robbal allamien.

halima 4 months ago

Dear Sisters salaam to you all,

I also need an advice, i got married to man of my father's age a friend of my father just to make him happy, but now am not happy because he makes me live with 2 of my mates in the same house and i cant stand it,i a have a 2 year old daughter for him, he is so desperate to have male children and all am thinking of is to go away from him because he is also not educated and ignorant and making life difficult for me.

Emma 4 months ago

Wishing u all a very happy new year. May Allah grant u a lot of happiness and suceess.

Maria84 4 months ago

Salam sister and brothers.

Wish u a happy new year. May allah make all ur dream come true and solve all ur problems inshalla. Hope all of us can try to be better muslims and hope things get easy for us all inshalla.

Abbas 4 months ago

Dear . . . . .

Wishing you and your family a very Happy & Prosperous New Year!!!

May Allah Subhanahuwatala bless you all with best of Health, Happiness & Success in this new year 2012. . . . .

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Naheed

In the previous post instead of writing Dear I accidently wrote Dead. I only noticed it now, Plz forgive this unintentional error. I hope u r feeling better.

Mev 4 months ago

Asalama laikum

hope you all are well.

I need urgent help and guidance and I know only Allah can show me the right path but I also need Prayers, so all I am asking for is you kind brothers and sisters to pray for me and also tell me what i can do please..

I am only 19 and am struggling and fed up with life already i believe i am young and have not seen anything yet but the things i am experiencing is not a good sight.

I am in a situation that i don't know if i am right or wrong but need some one to tell me please and what i can do.

Me and one my brother were so close and had so muc love but after doing everyting and helping him with his marriage he has gained so much hatred for me that he came to a point of killing me and i seriously don't know why. My mum and dad have loads of ups and downs and do now get on but we still manage to stay together but now it has gone to an extreme where they blame me.

After my brothers marriage my dad made us move in his house all of the family even my mum and dad which we did not want to go but did. it was working fine but brother decided to have argument with me everyday about everything cleaning, kitchen ect and told his wife things it came to a point where he told me to get out of the house and leave. He kicked me down the stairs, punched me, stranggld me and even wanted to cut my throat. My dad agreed with him which hurt. So i managed to save my life and my mum helped me and i then walked out of the house. I didn't expect my mum to follow but she came with me, my brother also pushed my mum and said go where ever.

So now me and my mum have gone back to our old house and we are getting told by my father to leave from here aswell but since we hve left no one such as my dad, brothers or anyone has asked about us but have said through my young brother to come back home but only my mother.

Now I do not know what to do, or if i am in the wrong for leaving and not going back or is this my fault for family splitting up as to everyone hates me and blames me.

My mum and me do no want to go bck no matter what as this will happen again and has previously before.

please pray for me as i need loads of strength and courage to be able to support for mine n mum's needs inshallah. pray that Allah shows me a path and i find happiness and a job to be able to provide.

Am i in the wrong and have i committed a sin??

waiting4change 4 months ago

@Emma

What you wrote is great! Of course I do not think any life is worth more then another. I do not want war or hate! I want to end it! All of you reading should want to end it! You will find when you work in the name of Allah all your problems go away! As far as my political views..No life again is worth more then another, my whole point was we are all created by one. And to reject any person in the name of religion is haram. There's a hadith:

Allah will say on the day of resurrection: "where are those who love one another through my glory? Today I shall give them shade. It being a day when there is no shade but my shade" -thats pretty powerful.

It does not say if you are black love your black brother..it does not say if you are american love only fellow americans and so on. Indiscriminate killings is not a crime because you have not made them a crime. Not you personally, but if each of us gathered our loved ones and took a stand together we would have many more people then on the other side. The security of all races should be important but people have not made them important. I have looked into history of wars and read each sides accounts. They each believe Allah is on their side, and they are ridding the world of the other. I'm sorry but that's a joke! Again if you want to be judge and jury you will be judged that way when you die, and we all die! I do listen to what other people say, but only to understand why they think a certain way. In the end I am responsible for my actions whilst being here. And I am not going down because of some idiots pride and greed! All of you are smart and from differnt places please let's solve problems and become a place of ideas and change. You think you can not make a difference, Muhammad (pbuh) was just one man, and look what he did for the world! We need to stop letting others put their agendas on our hearts and minds. It is ironic. It says in the Quran those who read this and say its speaks in riddles have had their minds closed by Allah so they will not understand what is written. I say give the leaders of the world a Quran or a Bible and see if they can make sense of it.

I personally would love to see a stronger Muslim community. There are always bad people who will try to come in, but the good it could do in uniting one of the worlds largest group of people who believe and read one book would be the way to work in Allahs name. Anyone agree?

waiting4change 4 months ago

@mev

No one not even your brother has the right to do this to you! Has he always had such anger problems? There has to be more to this, does he feel trapped by something? It is strange for a person to go to such extremes over petty things. Your mom seems like a wise and strong woman, you are very lucky to have. You should not be expected to pretend your life is not just as important as your brothers. He has no right to threaten to kill you, or throw you down stairs! He could have paralyzed you or worse! Has he always had such mood swings? I know its personal but we are not here to judge, just provide help and strength. I'm wondering if he is feeling vengeful because all of you moved into his house. Maybe he wanted to be out on his own. Sometimes parents do not understand that they raised us but they need to give room for us to live our lives as well. Nothing can get better if we do the same old thing. In ambitious people it just breads anger, violence and a cycle of the same. You are not wrong for leaving, your life is important too. And I will pray for your brother to ease his promblems and find a better way of communicating then volient rage that could result in him spending the rest of his life in jail, do not know where you live, but logically people should put these things in their minds before doing such stupid things.

"The person who is strong is not strong because he can knock people down. The person who is strong is the one who controls himself when he is angry". Sahih bukhari

Allahs mentions so many times to us on how important controlling our anger and actions when we are angry, I just do not understand it. No civilized person throws anyone down the stairs or threatens the most sinful of actions to kill. you are right to get out. Give him time and he will come around. I promise you things will get better. I will pray for them too. You just do not worry about what people think, and focus on your life and helping your mom and whoever needs you. Stay strong.

rameen 4 months ago

dear sister ,assalamoalaikum ...please can u help me with my problem ...i am the mother of 3 daughters ...i went for ummra ..with my husband ...and children ....did istakhara and then planned a prg ....im 4 mnths prg and my scan showed a girl ...im shocked and dont want to believe the technician ...my husband is again going for ummra next week ...to pray ...may Allah accept...what i want to ask u is if i did istakhara ..and asked Allah ...for something ...and HE opened the ways for me ...i shld believe in Allah ...and still keep praying ...plz if u cld answer

Mev 4 months ago

Thank you so much for replying back, your words have made me realise that after all i am not in the wrong.

Inshallah Allah gives me strength so i stay strong and can gain happiness and not distress.

My brother i believe has learned his actions from my father by being physical and having anger problems, however both are only good at raising hands at weak women.

I just pray everyday, please also pray for me too.

Thanks alot.

Emma 4 months ago

@ waiting 4 change

I suppose if we all take responsibility for our own actions, be kind and respectful towards each other stay in remembrance of our creator and the day of Judgement then we will be ok.There is a saying that when we change the world changes around us.

Is it possible to have strong Muslim community, I do not know. All I see is that there are so many branches of Islam and too many mosques are being built everywhere. I often wonder why all these muslims cannot worship in one place without fighting!

Our Prophet pbuh was a man of great virtues, intellects, compassion and a very clear vision. Unlike us he neither had ego, nor greed or any other vices that corrupts ones soul.Look at our mullahs today you will find most of them very inconsiderate, corrupt and hypocritical. Its a real shame. I was searching for women's rights in islam on the net, found many sites containing information on husband's rights on the wife, in-laws in rights on her and everyone elses rights over the woman. Only person who doesnt seem to have any right is the woman, yet even I know that cannot be right. Islam granted women a lot of rights, then why it is so difficult to find any info on these rights. Reason being again our mullahs have decided not to reveal these information. When they write something they only write from a male perspective, its all about that they expect from the women. Whats her duty as a daughter, as a wife and as a mother as an in law. Surely they know that concealing Allah's revelation is a sin. There are even some misguided man who live under the illusion that the haven of his wife is under his feet. Well considering the mentality of our male counter parts I think I am happy to live under a secular system.

waiting4change 4 months ago

@rameen

From what I understand you do not want to bring yourself to say you do not want a girl, you want a boy. I understand, we all want that perfect balance of what others have. I will not tell you that you are ungrateful, I think you are looking at the glass half empty. Maybe it is Allahs wish for you to have more children. How lucky you are to have a husband who loves you, and 3 wonderful beautiful daughters who will look up to you and wish for your beauty. You are one of the luckiest people in the world. You have a family, and you are able to make your family bigger. What the world would be like if more girls were born into it. Allah gives you what he wants, and if you want the scientific answer, technically it is more the man who determines the sex I believe. You should look up ways to favor conceiving a boy, before trying again. And if all fails give your daughter a boys name then at least you will have the child with the name you always planned if you had a boy. There could be many pluses to having a boys name, she will always get an interview, since they will not know she's a girl till meeting her. She will feel special since she will have a unique name. And who says a girl can not play sports and play the piano! Inshallah you will feel better now, and be glad and thankful to have your wonderful family! Salaam

waiting4change 4 months ago

@mev

No you are not wrong to get out of danger to your life. How can anyone be happy and healthy in that dangerous situation? I think you should also reflect on the situation, how it came to happen, and what you can do to influence a better outcome if it were to happen again. Like Emma has stated: when we change, the world around us changes. That is very true! Since we can only control our own actions and reactions, it is important to think before we speak. Always remember that although words do not stab a person, some things you can never unsay! Verbal abuse can be just as bad, even worse then physical abuse. So always think before you speak, and reflect before you act! (When dealing with peoples emotions) I think you have a wonderful mom who was strong for you! I can tell you it could always be worse.

@Emma

I love what you wrote, again! You hit the nail on the head! I think the first step to making a stronger Muslim community is to educate people about their being a need. We do not need a masjid to meet at, Allah is always with us! Although I am sure if we are persistent and live in a place not scared for our safety making change can start here! Come on I do not care who you are on earth! Everyone needs friends! Everyone wants to FEEL accepted! The first thing an abuser does is try to isolate you from anyone who cares about you! A bitter abusive in_law is that way because they themselves do not feel accepted. I think it starts by looking at the reasons behind why things happen. Anyone with good self confidence, and self image would never hurt another person. I have noticed we seem to be so worried people will look at us like them (other faiths) they isolate themselves in fear. However a true believer does not need to be afraid, because Allah always knows our intentions, and we know right from wrong in any language! I know there's so much more to the issue, but one step at a time. And yes there are tons of rights for women in ISLAM. I will post links for all you wonderful strong people on here!

Salaam!

nat 4 months ago

Aftab if u r still reading this I probably scared you, and u think I might know you. I'm sorry I don't know anyone named Aftab, I just thought another woman's opinion might be in order. And I'm sure u have lots to say but on an open forum like this u r probably holding back. Anyway I just thought I'd ease your mind. I just wanted to help.

Emma 4 months ago

@waiting 4change

Its very true that everyone needs friends and more importantly a sense of belonging and acceptance. But the problem is you can only educate people when they want to be educated. While its true that a self respecting good confident person who is secure in themselves wouldnt abuse another person, but there are a lot of abusers who are quite highly educated and holding respectable jobs. They know what they are doing is wrong but they do it any way. How do you educate them?

I think I probably have become a pessimist, though I must admit I never thought about having a Muslim Community as such. Since you have brought the issue, you must have done some thinking. How do you think we will be able to establish a strong and just community?

Emma 4 months ago

Dear mev

Its a sign of cowardice to beat up defenceless women. If u were brought up in such environment then u might have some internal conflicts too, as it normally happens. U said u and your brother were close, u probably are feeling quite helpless.I would say first sort out your own self, if there are issues inside ur own head deal with them either through counselling or contact Brahma kumaris. Seek professional help, u and ur mum have right to live in the property. However, if this angers ur father and brother even more than ask women's refuge or similar organisation to accommodate you. You are in a better position to judge what ur father or brother is capable of doing. Pls do not compromise your safety. Always remember you SAFETY comes first.

Make urself stable and then move on to life. Be nice to urself and ur mother. She probably is just as lost as u are. If voilence is the norm of ur family then I would say make your own life, do not return to such abuse. Allah will take care of u and ur mum. Keep in touch and may Allah guide you to the right path and His mercy on you and your mum.

waiting4change 4 months ago

Emma I will have an answer to your question soon. Allah works in great ways! You made an interesting point on outward appearance! There is a man who was highly respected owned a tv station for Islam. He divorced 2 times then went to pakistan and brought another wife this time she had no relatives in America. He cut her head off in the station while their kids sat waiting in the car for her. Everyone knew this man was abusive, his previous wives went for help, to the masjids, to respected elders. NO one helped or listened. They shunned them and made the wives look like they deserved what they got. The whole community judged these women and deemed them not good wives. Well two of them are lucky to be alive. Now one is dead and there are children who when asked where their mother is, they will have to think about what their father did. Was it worth it? Does the people who knew and judged these women have better lives now? No? Who knows? Its always great to say I told u so. But in this case and many others a life was lost in such horrible ways! This guy had money and I guess no matter what religion money can conquer weak. Another man put his wife in his cab locked her in and set it on fire! He would let no one help, she burned alive! In America! I've heard of men throwing their wives in the water, if they drowned they were innocent if they happened to know how to swim they were jailed and found guilty! All that because a man wants a divorce? The problem is either way a life of a human being, a creation of Allah was taken. Men have no right to take a women's life anymore then the right to take their own. Until enough people stop fighting and judging and start caring for others before themselves, muslim, christian any one who believes in God only, if you do not ad hear to what is written you are not any better then the common thief or child murderer in his eyes. When your prayers are answered do you forget who answered them? People do not see that when they do not learn for themselves, they will always be living their lives from others opinions or interpretations. If a serial killer/horrible person read the Quran and told you what it means would you listen? My rule of thumb, anyone who uses religion to preach violence, you should run away from them! It is just like the Bible why do nuns cover their heads? In the Bible multiple times its said women shave your heads or cover your head when you pray. Here's my scientific interpretation for people who say that makes women less then a man. Scientific tests, as well as lives lost proved texting and driving is deadly. Why? Because our brains can not split full attention between both. Losing focus on pressing the right buttons on our phones we will not see the red light/pedestrian/car stopped in front of us. Is it unbelievable to think Allah already knew this about our brains? He created us right. When you cover your head and pray it forces you to stare forward, its like wearing glasses, you see really well as long as you don't try to look on the sides where there's no lenses. You become more focused, and Allah tells me so many times he wants full focus when we pray. Honor killing is even dumber! I'm sorry but who's honor are you killing for? Not Allah? Because he said do not kill, he will strike who he will! We can seek justice, but surly there are better ways then to commit the biggest sin there is? If it is to restore your standing in a community, does that mean OtHERS personal opinions are more important then being with Allah? World war 1 was started because of some Duke getting killed, out of honor the whole world for one man went to war! That war resulted in germany being blamed, which resulted in Hitler coming into power, which resulted in the holocaust and world war two! Come on have ego much? We can not change the past but the future is still up for grabs. On judgment day I will be chilling outside waiting with no fear not that I am perfect, but I have took it upon myself to read every word of the Quran and Bible with dictionary's to look up any words I did not understand. I figure the more I learn I will live closer to Allah as well as live my life by my own interpretation instead of some radical psychopath who tells people looking into the eyes of a mother while killing her children is okay.

Emma 4 months ago

waiting 4change

Its quite shocking what some men are capable of. These men and those who support them are trully evil. They can call themselves whatever they like and can have many supporters or I should say accomplices but still Allah will punish them. You will find murderers in every community, but what pains me is this, people with the benefit of education are expected to do good. However, sadly most sophisticated and most deceptive abusers are usually men with good education. I worked in the in field of domestic violence and abuse and heard horrific stories from my clients and their children.

Hey when I read your posts I sense some pain and frustrations in your writing. If you have some issues you better get them out of the way, bcos pain and sorrow etc are poisons and they only damage the container that contains them. A few months back I had so many issues weighing me down, I felt I had to do something about it. Allah has shown me the way and with His grace I am feeling much lighter and becoming quite normal again.

take care

ummah mohammed 4 months ago

salam everyone

I am young sister who just recently got married and recently started reconnecting with allah... I feel lke i am in a better place due to the fact that i have put complete trust in allah! I really have.... me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant and we havent yet.. i know allah always a planned for you better than whta you had planned.. im trying my best to patient.. i also know that envy is a bad thing.. but ever since i have gotten married all i see is everyone around me pregnant and i cant help but, whish i was preganat but, i catch myself and say its wrong. its like a constant battle.. sorry for my rant.. i was hoping you guys could advise me on some duas to say and just some advice.. thank you so much!

salam!

waiting4change 4 months ago

All my life I felt like I was surviving. Its such a long story, I outta make a movie. My mom was a single mom and she was young. Her mom died before I was born. My dad got remarried and left my mom to struggle. My mom used to pray with me every night, and I've always prayed, that I'd become someone that made a difference. That everyone who hurt me or chose to make me feel like I was below them would one day see they were wrong. As a little girl praying this, I always somehow survived. Allah has always been with me, and that gave me the strength to forgive, and always see the bright side, and always try to fix things and never give up. Along the way however I've sometimes found myself losing hope, in people. Losing hope that I will make it. In Allahs eyes if I do as he wishes, I treat people right, and in my heart I put him first, never blaming him for bad things, he's said I will be in his shade when I die. Its so hard sometimes to want that, and at the same time want to be loved here among people. Not fame or anything but genuine love. Wanting to have people to count on, and people to hug you when you cry. Someone can say they love you, but if you don't feel their love what good does it do you? I've always felt alone here, I never blame I just try to understand if that's what makes me know things that would take a lifetime to learn if ever 4 some. So anyway..I grew up with my best friend, and her family is Muslim. When I went to my first Eid in 4th grade, I loved how close family's seemed. I loved how there seemed to be respect for Allah and one another. I desperately wanted to be part of a real family. I had gone to sunday school and church every sunday w a neighbor, because I have always loved praying. I'd leave feeling like God was in my backpack watching over me. I knew people in church knew what was going on in my home, and how they pretended and did nothing to help made me feel lost and alone as a little kid. I was always trying to be good! I felt judged based on my moms decisions and I didn't feel like I was seen as a little person who had lots of potential, and just needed guidance. No one wanted to go out of their way since I wasn't from anywhere or anyone important. I felt like to them I was already no body. Back to my first Eid. I just fell in love with the way Muslims seemed to have morals and high priority on togetherness. Everyone was important and worth the time spent on them. I decided I wanted to be part of that. I figured I would be easy to except since I already loved Allah so much, I was sure people who loved him would fit right w me. Then I grew up. I've never felt discriminated against, I've read abt slaves and heard rude remarks abt skin color, I can pass for any race, so I guess ppl assumed I was one of them. Well I'm not dark so most races. When I go to the masjids now, I'm told I should go to ones for converts? Or meet and marry a convert? Everyone just assumes I am not one of them. It hit me hard this last year. I went through this whole thing with my ex boss. He's paki and married and thinks he can have any girl. When I told him no he demoted me and I walked out. I was caught between wanting to work and wanting to work and not give up my principles or do things that would jeopardize my standing with Allah. I don't like to lie to ppl or play stupid politics, I want to go home and sleep peaceful. Well just how much control he had over my life just threw me into depression. How could one person take away everything I worked so so so hard for? How could one person throw me into unemployment and struggle just cause I would not do anything w him? It was horrible for me, a person who believes in accountability, and loyalty and honor amongst other things. He told me no one tells me no, and then took all I worked for away. There is part two to this but I do not want to make this such a long post. The 2nd part involves love, betrayal, racism between paki muslims and muslims. And then you will know why I write with pain.

Sidra 4 months ago

Im glad to see such a nice page , and learnt so much here..

Dear : ummah mohammed

There are 99 names of Allah , you can read the meanings ,

i know this because i`ve been reading about the names of Allah in the book (*BIG BOOK of islam* , by Dr.Desha Keerthi Kalabooshana),

im going to tell you about the 2 names of allah ..yet i would say please check it out ..

AL-JABBAR : The husband should recite this 3000 times after Isha prayer and blow upon 3 Almonds than he should eat 2 of them and make his wife eat the third , They should do this for 11 days.

AL-BAARIU : Fast for the 7 days, Everyday at the time of Breaking the fast , she should Recite AL-BAARIU 21 times and blow on the water and break the fast with that water

Emma 4 months ago

@waiting 4change

I just read your post and eagerly waiting for the second post. You have been fighting like a very brave warrior from an early age and that requires a lot of virtues. I can relate to some of your experiences and I know how tough it is.

ummah mohammed 4 months ago

@sidra

do i just say the meaning of the name?

and what is this for? a little confused sorry?

Emma 4 months ago

Dear Naheed

Just wondering, how are you doing? Hope you are feeling better, let me know how you are getting on. I hope I did not hurt your feelings carelessly.

sidra 4 months ago

ummah mohammed

as you asked is there any dua which can bring a baby in your family..

you just need to recite the name of allah , no need to recite the meaning ..

Emma 4 months ago

Daily wisdom from a BK member

Get close to God before you get close to anyone else because God without men is still God but men without God is nothing.

ummah mohammed 4 months ago

@sidra

thank you so much. this brings joy to my heart..

its just really hard. thank you!

waiting4change 4 months ago

I am going to write the 2nd part of my story. Its just been hard for me. Its like reliving it, and I can't seem to take how passionate I feel out of the story. I have searched for meaning in so many books, and looked for answers from so many people. My head tells me I know the right answer, I saw the signs, I felt the uneasy feelings. But still I blinded all of that with my hope that maybe I am different, maybe he is different, maybe if I could find the right approach my life and the people in it and those around them would all fall in place. I love to sing, and I used to sing whatever came out of my head, I call that passion. The words didn't rhyme, and maybe didn't have a theme, but I sang about my day, about my hope and dreams. After I was done I would always feel relieved. Like I just confessed all my thoughts out loud shamelessly to the world! I would tell Allah that one day I would pave a different path for people to stroll on. I would make a difference, and all in his name not one stone would be caste against anyone. I would tell those who angered easy to read what you told them about bad people who stir up the crowd, and what will happen to those who fall into that trap. Its all laid out, just waiting to be interpreted in a way that makes since even to a child. I wondered off the path somehow, following excitement, and adventurous human excitements. I forgot the ultimate goal for a moment that seemed to last forever. Why? How could this girl filled with such love for even those who turned against her? I mean u can't pick ur family, or where u were born into. But u can chose who u surround urself with. I have been ran million dollar stores, and have seen my share of politics, and back stabs. If u have to fight against what u know is right everyday is it worth it to stay in that situation? I used to feel like I walked in a room and everyone could see the pain and shame I felt from all my life, all the things and people who hurt men I felt was following me like a smell. And to me everyone could smell it but didn't want to tell me, instead I felt they would just treat me like I was lucky to be in there presence, like although my hard work to get there, I would never be one of them. Its a terrible feeling. Then someone told me "all I see is a beautiful girl and from there what u say paints the picture of u I will see. If you walk in the room ashamed and like u do not belong there, then YOU are casting yourself apart from us! Of course if you don't think u belong after awhile we too will start to think the same. After all you set urself apart from us. You should walk in a room and realize everyone is wondering if you can see their ghosts. You should walk in a room in a way that let's us know you are a person worth the time to get to know. ". That day changed my life! I never walked in a room with my head down, I know I may never agree with everyone, but will my day be better by arguing my point to someone who just doesn't get it, and plainly doesn't want to? Hell NO! I end up going home and staying up thinking of all the things I "coulda said" or shoulda done, or how impossible that person is, and it snowballs from there. How great it would be if we all could just "get over it" easier said right? I know a lot of women have had horrible offenses done to them by the people they trusted, which makes it the more worse when you have to stand by and bite your tounge. When you can not stand up for your point of view, and stop a person from hurting you or others its a terrible feeling. I was a girl, who always believed in justice and Always forgave, even in the worst situations I would be looking for solutions. The day this one man took all I worked for, he took what I believed. For the first time in my life I couldn't see the straight lines, everything became blurred. Its even hard to explain here, cause its an emotional doom that comes over you. Emotional doom that ONE man can use his enormous power, to take everything from me. Where had I gone wrong? I worked hard, I waited purposely to hold or open doors for strangers, just selflessly looking for ways to make another's life easier. I did this wanting nothing in return, just the hope that one day it will click with the right person and start a chain reaction throughout the world! My theory was u never know who will be walking in. I told him NO! He told me he didn't want to ruin my life, I tried to brush it off, I tried to be just one of the guys, I tried to stay out of his way with out stirring up problems. All I wanted was to be successful I had bigger plans awaiting me. I had a masjid to build overseas, and a masjid to build here. Not a building that used to be a mcdonald s, I mean a masjid that looked like a masjid, a place for those to pray in peace to one GOD they love. I knew I'd be the perfect person to advocate on both sides. People put so much judgment on looks, I could easily get the right meeting to talk with city councils, without being arrested for "looking" like a bomber. I could just as easy go to my masjid and convince their help is needed as well. Maybe that is my gift from Allah, the gift of blending. All by the color of my hair I can look like one of them. I would have a much better chance of people listening if they thought I was one of them. Sounds nuts right? We are all human...anyway all these big plans, an orphanage in war torn countries, iraq, pakistan, Palestine. Surely by giving our youth good morals and things to keep them occupied while teaching them, they would grow up to be great additions to society. A orphanage with a school where color and caste and class, would not matter. Culture would be nurtured, and challenges debated calmly, and logically. A place of respect and learning to be the people of Allah the right way. Help with solving problems without committing our souls to shaten. When someone kills someone you love where does the line between Allahs mission and your own revenge begin and start? That is a very important thing to know before you go out and commit the very thing Allah warns so many times against. This is the doom I felt, I know Allah says there has to be social justice to for the greater good. If there are no boundaries then its a free for all. To this man money is worth more then a persons life if taking it from him would prevent anymore lives ruined by his hands wouldn't that be the greater good? Again just because he didn't kill me, he took everything away, he was the reason and put into motion the events after that day. All because I said No! Thinking a fellow Muslim would show respect, I was wrong obviously. Some people will say he's not a muslim, but to some people he is more muslim then I since he was born into Islam not by choice, but by circumstance. On the other hand I was born into islam by chance, and my mothers poor judgment towards not being there for her children. I had no home except the my best friends house, and by chance she was muslim. I aam sorry I have rambled on so much, there's just so much in my head, and getting it out is looking like there is a part 3. I will finish the story there. I am glad I can get this out, I hope something I have written makes sense and will inspire someone else to write, I can not be alone here. The next post will tie it all together. The company I worked for in chicago, has 2 partners who are family. And the man I was supposed to marry is the son of one of the partners. Hopefully now ur starting to see my whole dilemma here. Its like a battle between the right thing to do, and the life I want to live. Between the man I wanted to take care of and love. Between the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and share our journeys with. And what his cousin did to me. Its like choosing your father or your brother. I tired hard to move on, but why was I starting over? Not only had I lost the passion I had for everything! But I had to relive the anger and humiliation, and became the girl who walked into the room with her head down! I had to find logical explanations to WHY with all my experience and progressive work was I looking for a job! I couldn't speak the words I wanted to answer with

Emma 4 months ago

@waiting4change

I am glad you are letting the pain out.Once you have written the bits that hurt you the most, you will feel so much lighter.

I can understand you are hurt and probably are feeling low, but be sure that Allah has given you a lot of unique qualities to be pround of yourself. The man who said good things, which mentioned, was absolutely right.

Take your time and let it all out and be free again. I am waiting for the rest. take care

Noorkh786 4 months ago